Speak to My Heart

by Rebecca Talley

  He didn’t think he could ever face her again. He pushed out a breath and hit the steering wheel. Great impression, Pete. Way to go.

  He parked his car, then went inside his apartment and fell onto the couch. The night had been awesome. Walking along the boardwalk, getting to know Hailey, even the churros were delicious—everything had been going so well. Until he took her home. He planted his face in his palms.

  His phone vibrated. It was a text from Laura.

  Are you home yet?

  Yep. He sent back.

  How was the date?

  He paused, then tapped out, Great. Terrible.

  Huh?

  Never mind. He didn’t want to explain, especially over a text.

  Almost immediately his phone lit up.

  Not at all surprised, he answered, “Hi.”

  “What do you mean it was great and terrible?” He could hear the confusion in her voice.

  Peter sat up. “We went to the boardwalk for the Mar y Sol festival.”

  “Was that the great part or the terrible part?”

  “Great.” He couldn’t help but grin at the memory of the evening.

  “Am I missing something? What was terrible about it?” Peter didn’t have to see the expression on his sister’s face to know she didn’t understand what he meant.

  He rubbed his forehead. “When I took her home.”

  Laura let out a gasp. “You didn’t try to kiss her or something, did you? On the first date?”

  “No. Of course not. As much as I wanted to kiss her, and even considered it for a minute, I didn’t. I wanted to be a gentleman.”

  “Then what?” Her voice rose.

  Peter closed his eyes, wishing he could erase what happened. “As I was saying goodbye, I backed up and . . .”

  “Yeah?” she said expectantly.

  “Fell.” There he said it.

  Laura started laughing. Peter tapped his leg while he waited for her to finish. “Are you done?”

  “You actually fell down? Like really fell?”

  “Yes. Right in front of her. Spread eagle on the ground and everything.” He cradled his head.

  “Smooth move.” She started laughing again.

  “Any words of actual encouragement? Like, ‘She probably didn’t even notice,’ or ‘Don’t worry, everyone does that on the first date.’ You know, something helpful.”

  Laura stopped laughing. “I’m sure it wasn’t that big of a thing. Really.” She let out a snort. “Sorry.”

  “I can’t ask her out again. I’m too embarrassed.” He couldn’t, could he? “The rules of the universe dictate that I never return to the site of, nor persons involved in, said humiliation.” He tried to sound businesslike, as if such rules existed.

  Laura chortled. “Oh, please. That’s stupid,” she said. “And a lame excuse.” A vision of her rolling her eyes popped into his mind.

  “It’s a waste of time anyway. She’s going back to Colorado.” That sounded reasonable, even if he wished it weren’t true.

  “And you can’t go out and have fun while she’s here?” Laura was beginning to annoy him.

  “What’s the point?” He wasn’t interested in a fling, and he didn’t want to tangle his heart strings with someone who would only be here temporarily. This whole thing was ill-fated from the beginning. He should’ve gracefully declined when her grandmother suggested it.

  “You have been out of the game for way too long.”

  “I know. Purposely. Dating is the worst.” Why did he have to date anyone? He was happy living on his own. He didn’t have to answer to anybody. He could come and go as he pleased. He didn’t want or need anyone to complicate his life. Or worse, to trample all over his heart.

  “I think you should ask her out again. She doesn’t seem like the type of girl who would hold your clumsiness against you.” Laura was insistent.

  He didn’t want to argue with his sister, so he said, “I’ll see her when she brings her grandfather in. And go from there. But I’m hanging up now because I need to get some sleep.”

  “Talk to you later.”

  Peter went into his bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. Sure, Hailey was fun and easy to talk to. And beautiful. And she smelled nice. Very nice. The date was great, except for the whole falling episode. He pointed at himself and said with conviction, “You don’t need the aggravation.” He nodded. Keeping it professional was the best plan.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Gran and Gramps had been asleep when Hailey got home, so she’d gone back to her bedroom. After she changed into her pajamas and brushed her teeth, she went into the kitchen for a drink of water. She didn’t bother to turn on the light when she filled her glass at the refrigerator.

  “How was your date?”

  Hailey jumped back and grabbed at her chest. “Gran, you scared me to death.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, but I wanted to hear all about your night.” Gran flipped on the kitchen light.

  Hailey took a few breaths to calm her heart rate, then sipped her water. “It was good.”

  Gran studied her with a discriminating eye. “That seems vague.”

  “Okay.” She leaned against the counter and swirled the water in her glass. “You win. I had a great time.”

  “I knew it,” Gran said with a smug tone.

  “You’re still not off the hook for pressuring him into asking me.” Hailey had to wonder how many unsuspecting people in Gran’s binder were tricked into going out.

  “Who cares how it happened. The important thing is you went. When is your next date?” Gran’s eyes lit up.

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” She took a swig of water. “Remember, I’m eventually going back to Colorado.”

  Gran peered at Hailey. “You might as well enjoy your time here with a good-looking man.”

  “I could go out with Darren again. That is what you and Lila cooked up, right?” It was only fair to use Gran’s conniving against her.

  “Pish, posh. Lila and I were hopeful, that’s all. And Darren’s nice.” Gran grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. “But no crackle and sizzle like between you and Peter.”

  Hailey tried not to smile at her grandmother’s enthusiasm. “Crackle and sizzle? That’s ridiculous.”

  Gran held up a finger. “Matters of the heart are never ridiculous.”

  “You’re making way more of this than there is. We went on one date.” A fantastic, fun, memorable date, but still just one. Gran practically had them married off and living in a house with five kids.

  “You need one date before you can have two, and then three and so on.” Gran walked into the living room and Hailey followed her.

  “Let’s see what happens.” Hailey put her hand on Gran’s shoulder. “And for all that is good in this world, please, please do not say anything to him.”

  “Me?” Gran shrugged with an innocent expression. “I would never do that.”

  Hailey gave her grandmother the yeah-right-I’ve-already-seen-you-in-action look.

  “You can’t blame me for wanting to see you happy.”

  Someone rapped loudly on the door, making Hailey jump. She didn’t have to wonder who it was. Hailey opened the door, and Regina stumbled inside. The stench of cheap alcohol oozed out in a cloud that surrounded her. “Hey, what’re you two doing?”

  “Oh, Regina,” Gran said, her tone dripping with disappointment. “Why?”

  “What, Momma?” Regina hiccupped.

  Gran clucked her tongue. “You’re drunk.”

  “Yeah, yeah I am.” She cackled with a raspy voice.

  “If you want to live here you can’t come home like this.” Gran put her hands on her hips.

  “Why not? I ain’t hurtin’ no one. An’ I only had a couple drinks. After I had a few beers.” She laughed.

  “Is this what you want do with your life?” Gran said softly, pain evident in her eyes.

  “What I do with my life is none of
your business,” Regina said in a cold tone. She stepped close to her mom, dwarfing Gran with her girth.

  “Regina, maybe you should go to bed,” Hailey said. She couldn’t stand how her aunt treated Gran and Gramps.

  “Don’t tell me what to do.” Regina’s eyes were bloodshot, and her breath was lethal.

  “Don’t talk to Hailey that way,” Gran said.

  “Why? Because she’s Tommy’s daughter? He was always your favorite. Maybe if you’d been nicer to me I mighta turned out different. It’s your fault I’m like this.”

  Hailey knew she should stay out of it, but she’d had enough. “You can’t blame Gran.”

  Regina turned toward her and took a few shaky steps. “Why not?”

  “You are a grown woman.” Hailey drew in a breath of courage. “You should be taking responsibility for your own actions. Your own choices. Stop blaming other people.”

  Regina narrowed her eyes and took an imposing stance. “Listen to Miss Hoity Toity over here. Like you know anything.”

  Hailey squared her shoulders. “I know that Gran and Gramps love you.”

  “Oh, please.” Regina rolled her eyes. “They loved your daddy. Not me.”

  Gran’s mouth dropped open. “What are you talking about?” Her voice shook. “That’s not true.”

  Regina took a defiant stance. “Yeah, it is.”

  “You know we never treated you differently than your brother.” Gran breathed heavily with emotion. “We loved you both. Equally.”

  “Sure didn’t feel like it. You gave him all the good attention and were always on me about something or other.” Regina held up a finger. “I was never good enough or smart enough. And definitely never pretty enough.” Regina let out a burp.

  “You aren’t being fair. We only wanted what was best for you,” Gran said.

  “Nah.” Regina took an unsteady step. “All you wanted was for your perfect son to have a perfect life.”

  “Regina!” Gran’s cheeks flushed red. “Where is this all coming from?”

  “Guess I been holdin’ it in all this time. Who knew?” She chuckled. “Must be from watchin’ all them Dr. Phil shows.”

  “How dare you hurt Gran like this,” Hailey said, her blood burning.

  Regina’s face hardened, and she wagged her finger at Hailey. “How dare you talk to me.”

  “Someone needs to.” It was time to stand up to her aunt’s bullying.

  “Well, it ain’t you.” Regina smoothed her wild hair. “You got nothin’ to say to me.”

  “You’re so busy feeling sorry for yourself, you can’t even see how much your parents love you. How much they’ve done for you. Woman up and take control of yourself. Your life is what you make it. You don’t have to live this way.” Hailey stood firm, her courage making her legs wobbly.

  “Look, if I wanna go get drunk every night, that’s my business.” Regina pointed at herself with her thumb.

  Hailey stepped closer to her aunt. “But you’re bringing it here, making it our business.”

  Regina waved her hand. “I’m going to bed.” She stomped off.

  Hailey wanted to slap some sense into her, but she knew it wouldn’t do any good. Hearing Regina say such cruel things to Gran broke Hailey’s heart.

  Sure, Gran and Gramps weren’t perfect parents, but they loved Regina. And Regina was there because she didn’t have anywhere else to go, so Gran and Gramps took her in. They weren’t fools—they knew why she was there.

  Hailey’s heartbeat thudded in her ears and her face burned. Regina made her so angry she could spit fire.

  Gran was on the couch, sobbing. Hailey went to her and put her arms around her. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I don’t know why she’s saying this. We were never mean to her.” Gran sniffed. “We tried to encourage her to be something. To be better. To do good things with her life.”

  “Regina wants to blame you so she doesn’t have to take responsibility for herself.” Hailey caressed Gran’s back.

  Wiping at her eyes, Gran said, “Instead of encouragement, all she saw was us being critical?” Gran glanced up at the ceiling. “Maybe we are to blame.”

  “No, you’re not.” Hailey pulled Gran close. “She’s lashing out at you because she’s unhappy.”

  “What am I going to do with her?” Gran slumped against Hailey.

  “I don’t know.” Hailey wished she had some wisdom to share with her grandmother, but she was at a complete loss. Her insides twisted at the thought of going back to Colorado and leaving Gran and Gramps to deal with Regina. She wasn’t sure she could do that.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Gran stood at the sink looking out the window as the morning sunlight streamed in when Hailey walked in.

  “Regina is gone,” Gran said in a thick voice.

  “She is?” A wave of relief cascaded over Hailey.

  “I checked her room.” Gran faced Hailey. “All her stuff is gone. Just like that.”

  Hailey could see the anguish etched on her grandmother’s face. “Any idea where?”

  “I never know where.” Gran cradled her head. After several moments, she said, “When I first held Regina in my arms, I had so many hopes. So many dreams for her.” Gran’s eyes glistened, and she seemed to be lost in another time. “She wanted to be a ballerina. Begged us to put her in ballet. She wasn’t very graceful, but she tried hard.” A slight smile crossed her lips. “Then she wanted to play the piano, so we gave her lessons. In high school, she was interested in several things, like theater and choir, but it wasn’t easy for her like it was for your dad.” Gran let out a breath. “I thought I was encouraging her and helping her. Instead . . .” her sentence trailed off.

  Hailey put her arms around Gran. “I don’t think—”

  “You heard her. She thinks we favored your father. That we loved him, and we didn’t love her.” Gran stepped back, wiping at puffy eyes.

  “We all know that isn’t true.”

  “I gave her everything. I worked myself to the bone so she could have what she wanted. When she turned sixteen, we bought her a car. I don’t understand.” Gran collapsed into a kitchen chair.

  Hailey sat in a chair next to Gran. “I don’t know if she even understands. But I do know you can’t blame yourself.”

  “Who else is there to blame?”

  “Regina. She’s a big girl. Has been for years.” Hailey laid her hand on Gran’s. “She’s made choices and now she has to live with them.”

  “It’s so hard to watch her live like this. I want to save her from herself.” Gran seemed so defeated.

  Hailey squeezed Gran’s hand. “I don’t think anyone can save Regina, but Regina.”

  They sat in silence for several minutes while Hailey tried to ignore the thoughts that darted through her mind about her own life and its lack of direction lately. It was easy to point fingers at Regina and see that she’d wasted years of her life without much to show for it, but what about Hailey? What did she have to show? A decent job. An average apartment. A car. She thought she’d been moving toward the next chapter of her life with Kevin, but that didn’t pan out. So, where was she headed now? For sure she didn’t want to end up like her aunt, twenty or thirty years down the road with a string of old boyfriends and nowhere to call home.

  When was she going to take her own advice and live the life she wanted, instead of floundering and allowing herself to be a victim of Kevin’s choices? Working all the time and watching Netflix while she hid out in her apartment to avoid Jimmy Vaughn and the rest of the world wasn’t the life she’d pictured for herself. All she needed to do now was figure out what, exactly, she wanted.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Gran said, jolting Hailey back into reality. “I know you can’t stay forever, but for now, I’m happy to have you. Thank you.”

  Hailey hated seeing the sorrow in Gran’s eyes. She wanted to take it away. All of it. But she couldn’t. “I love you, Gran.” It was all she could offer.

  ***
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br />   Hailey finished checking over a few reports and making some notations in the file for Crandall Automotive. She fought the disappointment that she’d spent the last four hours working on spreadsheets and entering expenses for her clients instead of spending that time with her grandparents. She rubbed her eyes to counteract the strain from staring at the computer screen for so long when she heard a knock at the door. “I’ll get it,” Hailey said from her bedroom, eager for a break, but bracing herself in case it was her abrasive aunt returning for more carnage.

  She opened the door to Darren. “Hi,” he said, sporting a closely trimmed beard.

  “Hi. How are you?” She hoped she didn’t sound too surprised. He looked good in his cargo jean shorts and pale green polo shirt.

  “Would you like to catch a movie later?” He raised his eyebrows and smiled.

  “Yeah, I would.” It’d be good to get her mind off the mess Regina had caused, and she needed a distraction from her confusing feelings about Peter.

  “Great. I’ll be back about seven o’clock?”

  “Sure.” A movie with Darren might be exactly what she needed to have some light-hearted fun.

  “See you then.” He gave her a wave.

  Hailey shut the door.

  “Who was that?” Gran asked from the kitchen.

  “Darren. He’s taking me to a movie.” Hailey stepped up to the counter and helped Gran put clean dishes away.

  “I’m glad you’re getting out. Even if you don’t like him much.” Gran put a glass in the cupboard.

  “Not true.” A mischievous smile spread across Hailey’s face, and she filled a glass of water. “He’s hot. I mean, so hot he’s on fire.” She fanned herself. “Whew!”

  Gran shook her head. “In my day, we would’ve called him a dreamboat. Doesn’t that sound better?”

  Hailey laughed and decided to play along. “Okay, Darren is a dreamboat. Happy?”

  “Yes.” Gran removed her brightly colored apron and smoothed her neon-pink blouse.

  “He’s super nice too. A perfect date.” Hailey took in a gasp of air and laid the back of her hand across her forehead. “Maybe even marriage material. Why, Gran, I think you might’ve found me a husband,” Hailey teased dramatically.