Speak to My Heart

by Rebecca Talley

  Peter started laughing. “I have never seen anyone who was so bad at using chopsticks. Ever.” He reached over and brushed some rice from her chin.

  “I have no idea what the allure is to using these things.” She set them down and picked up her fork. “This is how I eat Chinese food.” She stabbed a chunk of pork and shoved it in her mouth, the sweet and tangy sauce perking up her taste buds.

  Peter took a bite, then said, “How is June doing?”

  “I think she’s still in shock. We went to the mortuary and made plans for the service. We even picked out the casket.” The bitter words tripped on her tongue.

  Peter laid his warm hand on hers. “I’m sorry. Can I do anything to help?”

  “Being here with me helps.” Her gaze locked on his and suddenly her lungs squeezed tight, like they were unable to take in enough air.

  After they finished eating, Hailey walked down to Gran’s door. “Peter brought us some Chinese food. Would you like some?”

  “No, thank you.”

  Hailey slowly opened the door. “You need to eat something.”

  “I’m not hungry.” Gran looked at her with red-rimmed eyes. “I’ll be fine. I need some time to adjust, that’s all.”

  Hailey didn’t want to leave Gran in her room to deal with all the sadness alone, but she didn’t want to dictate how Gran mourned for Gramps either, so she simply said, “Let me know if you need anything.”

  “I will.” Her voice sounded so small—almost childlike—that it made Hailey’s throat thicken.

  Hailey shut the door and went back into the living room where Peter was sitting on the couch.

  “She doesn’t want to eat anything,” Hailey said, worrying that Gran needed nourishment.

  “It’s probably a good idea to let her rest.” Peter said it with assurance.

  Hailey sat on the couch next to him. When he put his arm around her, she snuggled close, breathing in his musky scent. They didn’t say anything for several minutes. She reveled in the security that emanated from him and beckoned her to relax. She’d never experienced this with anyone.

  Peter ran his fingers through her hair, sending tingles down her spine. Hailey didn’t want to be anywhere but right where she was. Part of her knew it was going to end. It had to. But for this moment, she only wanted to feel his arms around her and drink in every drop of him.

  The doorknob jiggled, and then the door flung open. Hailey jumped to her feet. “Regina?”

  “Yeah. I’m back.” She tossed her keychain on the small table by the door. “Things didn’t pan out the way I’d hoped.” She looked from Hailey to Peter and then back to Hailey. “Did I interrupt?” She laughed.

  “I need to tell you—”

  “Where’s Momma? And Daddy? You run ‘em out or somethin’?” Regina kicked off her boots.

  Hailey resisted the impulse to choke her rude aunt. “Actually, something has happened.”

  Regina flopped on the couch and Hailey was sure it would’ve groaned if it could have. “Oh yeah? What?”

  Hailey cleared her throat. “It’s Gramps.”

  “Go on.” Regina crossed her arms in front of her ample chest.

  “He passed away.” Hailey hated those prickly words.

  “What?” Regina shrieked.

  “They think it was a heart attack. Or maybe another stroke.”

  Regina thrust herself forward and perched on the edge of the couch. “Daddy’s gone?”

  Hailey nodded.

  “But I . . . he was . . . how?”

  “We’re all in shock.” Hailey wanted to give her aunt the benefit of a doubt. Maybe they’d all be able to help each other heal and possibly patch up previous wounds. Maybe.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Regina narrowed her eyes. “Were you gonna keep it from me?”

  “Of course not.” How dare she accuse me of trying to keep this from her.

  Regina stuck her hands on her hips and with a defiant tone said, “Then why didn’t I know?”

  Hailey sucked in a deep breath of patience, reminding herself that Gran was down the hall and didn’t need a big scene in her living room. As calmly as possible she said, “I didn’t have any contact information for you. You left without telling anyone where you were going, and you don’t have a cell phone.”

  “You’re right I don’t have one. They give you brain cancer.”

  Refusing to mock her aunt’s tin-hat mentality, Hailey asked, “Then how would I have reached you?”

  “I don’t know, but somehow. Now I come home to find that my daddy’s dead. Where’s Momma?” Regina demanded.

  “In her bedroom.”

  Regina stood. “I’m going to talk to her.”

  Hailey held out her hands, trying to appeal to her aunt. “She may be sleeping.”

  Completely ignoring Hailey, Regina ambled down the hallway.

  Hailey looked at Peter. He must think Regina is a total mental case. “I’m so sorry. My aunt is . . .”

  “Upset,” Peter said.

  “That’s a nice way of putting it.” Leave it to Peter to think of a kind way to say Regina is a lunatic.

  “I should probably get going,” he said with a hesitant tone.

  As much as Hailey didn’t want him to leave, she had to agree that with Hurricane Regina blowing through the house, it was the best idea. “Thank you so much for bringing dinner. You are very thoughtful.” And sweet. And kind. And wonderful.

  “It’s the least I could do.” He said it in such an endearing way, it made Hailey’s heart melt.

  She walked with him outside and stood by his car. The sun was descending in the west, coloring the wispy clouds with pinks and oranges.

  “Please call me if you need anything,” he said.

  What I need is you. “I will. Thank you.”

  Peter lingered at his car, as if he wanted to say or do something. He turned to Hailey and in one swift movement, brought her close to him. Her heartbeat began pounding in her ears as his lips brushed hers. In an instant, their lips began a delicate dance—giving and taking in perfect rhythm and balance. This man knew how to kiss, so much so, it left Hailey feeling intoxicated.

  Breathless, Peter pulled away. “I need to go. If I don’t leave now, I might not leave at all.”

  Would that be so bad? Hailey took an unsteady step back. “I’ll see you soon?”

  Peter smiled and then got into his car.

  Hailey walked back to Gran’s house with a mixture of emotions churning inside her. She wasn’t prepared for another heartbreak, which might be right where she was headed, but she was powerless to stop herself from falling for Peter. It was too late to protect her heart. Much too late.

  As she neared the house, the intense anguish of losing Gramps hit her with full force. I can’t believe he’s gone. No more card games. No more tall tales. No more hugs. And we still have the service to get through. A lump the size of a boulder formed in her throat. At least Mom will be here soon. It’ll be better when she arrives.

  And then there was her aunt. Regina, Regina, Regina. What would Hailey do with her? Strangling her probably wasn’t the best idea, but it brought a smile.

  Hailey stepped inside the house. Gran and Regina were in the living room on the couch.

  “I can live here with you, Momma.” Regina’s voice grated like the proverbial fingernails on the chalkboard.

  “I don’t know, Regina.” Gran sounded so tired and overwrought.

  Regina blinked several times as if surprised by Gran’s reply. “Why not?”

  Hailey wanted to give her an answer, but clamped her mouth shut instead.

  “Would you like some lemonade, dear?” Gran asked Hailey. “There’s some in the fridge.”

  “Sure. I’d love some.” Gran made the best lemonade—not too sweet, not too tart. Hailey poured a glass, then sat next to Gran on the couch.

  “My sister called. She isn’t doing so well.” Worry lines creased Gran’s forehead.

  “Oh, no. I’m sorr
y to hear that. Aunt Mary is so sweet,” Hailey said, remembering visits through the years. “And she makes the most delicious chocolate cake.”

  “She won’t be able to come for the service.” Gran’s mouth turned down.

  Hailey slung her arm around Gran, hoping to buoy her up with love and support. “We need to go over some details.”

  “Yeah, I wanna know about the funeral,” Regina said. “Can I say something?”

  “You mean like the eulogy?” Hailey asked. She envisioned Regina standing up and tripping all over her words as she muttered nonsense about Gramps.

  Regina jerked her chin. “I’m not sure what that is, but I wanna say something about Daddy.”

  Hailey looked at Gran, who shrugged one shoulder as if defeated.

  “I’m sure we can work something out,” Hailey said, trying to keep the peace.

  “Who put you in charge anyway?” Regina demanded.

  “Would you like to be in charge?” Hailey asked. She already knew the answer.

  Regina sat back against the couch. “Oh. Uh. No.”

  Then keep your mouth shut. Hailey would sure like to tell her aunt where to go. “Then I’ll work on the program.”

  “But it’ll be simple,” Gran said.

  “Yes.” Hailey turned to Gran. “Simple and no fuss, like Gramps.”

  That night, Hailey lay in bed. Her heart still ached, but if she kept busy it didn’t seem to consume her as it had at first. The more she could help, the better. It’d keep her mind off the loss.

  She turned to her side. What about Peter? That was the million-dollar question. Hailey rolled onto her back, too many thoughts colliding in her mind. What am I going to do?

  One part of her wanted to tell him how much he meant to her, but the other part wondered what the point would be in doing that. An undeniable connection existed between them, but, in the end, did it matter? Next week, she was supposed to leave. At least that’s what she’d promised her boss—to return before the next quarter. Hailey reminded herself to contact Mr. Michaels and beg for an extension to help Gran transition to life without Gramps. If her boss felt magnanimous he might grant her one, but that was a very big if. And it would still be only temporary—not indefinite—if she wanted to keep her job. So, where did that leave her and Peter? When she left, whatever there’d been with Peter would come to a screeching halt. Right?

  ***

  Peter tossed and turned. He kicked his blanket off, then plumped up his pillow under his head. He let out a long, audible breath as he stared at the ceiling. He’d finally met a woman he could possibly see a future with. A woman who made him feel alive again. A woman who made him forget how his heart had been shattered. A woman who . . . did it matter? Her life was almost two thousand miles away, and the reality was she’d be returning to that life.

  It had been foolish to let himself become attached when he knew better. Seeing Hailey again would only make it harder to let her leave. He didn’t need to become any more attached to her than he already was. He needed to cut his losses and put her out of his mind and heart. It was the only solution, and that’s exactly what he intended to do.

  He’d forget about her. He’d forget her laugh. Her silky hair and soft skin. He’d forget the times he’d lost himself in the depths of her blue eyes. He’d forget the cadence of her voice and the way she blushed so easily. And he’d definitely forget holding her in his arms. Kissing her. Yearning to be with her all the time. He’d erase everything from his memory and push the reset button. No problem.

  Peter laughed out loud at the lunacy. Forget Hailey? As if that were at all possible. His heartstrings were far too tangled with hers.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  The next day, Hailey accompanied Gran to the mortuary again to answer a few questions and finish the arrangements. Thinking about the whole thing made her body throb with pain, and all of this made memories of losing her dad resurface.

  Gran put her arm around Hailey as they left. “We’re quite a pair.”

  “Yes, we are.”

  “I think it’s time for us to do something to lift our spirits.” Gran squeezed Hailey’s shoulder.

  “What did you have in mind?” Nothing sounded appealing today.

  “Let’s get our nails done.”

  Hailey blinked, then studied Gran. “You never get your nails done.”

  “Maybe it’s time I tried it.” Gran shrugged.

  Surprised, but willing to support Gran, Hailey drove them over to a nail salon, hoping it would make both of them feel a little lighter.

  When they walked into of the salon, the strong scent of nail polish remover hit Hailey’s nose and made it itchy.

  Gran said to the desk attendant, “We want the works.”

  “A mani and a pedi?” the petite Asian woman with long hair asked in a thick accent.

  “Yes. For me and my granddaughter.”

  Hailey picked out a pale peach color. She’d never had her nails done before. It felt almost decadent to have someone pamper her.

  “This will make us both feel better,” Gran said with assurance. “We need some spoiling.”

  Gran was right. After an hour at the small salon, Hailey didn’t feel so heavy and sad.

  “I’m not ready to go home,” Gran said when they got into the car. “Let’s go to the mall. I don’t have a nice black dress.”

  Hailey wasn’t anxious to go back home and deal with Regina either, but she didn’t want Gran to feel obligated to buy a new dress. “I don’t think you have to wear black.”

  “It’s the proper thing to do.” She patted Hailey’s hand. “And I’ll buy you one too.”

  “I have one, but I didn’t bring it. I thought . . .” Hailey let her sentence trail off. She started up the car and they began driving.

  “We didn’t expect this to happen.” Gran said. “But Harry wouldn’t want us to be miserable. We need to celebrate his life instead of mourn his death. We should be grateful for the years we had with him instead of being sad because of the years we won’t.” Gran crossed her ankles. “I’ve given this a lot of thought since he passed. And I think I’m going to . . .”

  “What?”

  “Go to my sister’s house for a while.” Gran gave a strong nod indicating her mind was made up. “Mary needs me. I can stay busy helping her and we can get caught up.”

  “That’s a good idea.” Thinking of Gran with Aunt Mary made Hailey’s heart happy.

  “Nothing I can do will bring my Harry back. We had a good life. No,” she held up her finger, “we had a great life together. I don’t want to spend the rest of mine being sad. I’d rather remember the happy times we had together and be grateful for that. Not everyone spends their life happy. I’m one of the lucky ones.”

  “You are an amazing lady, Gran.” Hailey was filled with a deep sense of gratitude that she’d been able to spend this time with Gramps and Gran. She was a fortunate woman to have such wonderful role models.

  “I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through this last month or so without you here. Thank you.”

  Hailey slipped a look at Gran, whose eyes glistened. With a thick voice, Hailey said, “I love you.”

  Gran smiled. “I know you do. You have always been good to us. Which is more than I can say about my daughter.”

  Hailey found a parking space and pulled the car in. “What are you going to do about Regina when you go to Aunt Mary’s?”

  “I’m going to tell her to get herself together. It’s about time, isn’t it?” Gran clucked her tongue.

  Hailey wasn’t sure she’d want to witness that conversation, but Gran would need moral support to take on Regina. “Yes. And I’ll be there with you when you tell her.”

  Gran pointed at Hailey. “And then you’ll need to get on with your life.”

  Hailey nodded, unsure of what that meant for her.

  They both got out of the car and started walking arm-in-arm toward the mall.

  “What will you do about Peter?” Gran
asked.

  “There’s nothing to do. His life is here and mine is in Colorado.” Hailey placed a lock of hair behind her ear. “It isn’t meant to be.”

  Gran gazed ahead, seeming to be in thoughtful consideration. “Are you sure about that?”

  “I have to be.” What other choice did she have? She couldn’t stay in Florida with no job and no reason to be here anymore. Her life was back west, even if that meant she’d leave a piece of her heart in the south.

  ***

  After shopping for almost two hours, they both found dresses appropriate for Gramps’s service. His death was sinking in and feeling more real.

  When they returned to the house, Regina was lounging on the couch. “Where have you been all day?” She scowled at Hailey.

  “Taking care of details,” Gran said as she set her bag on the table.

  “Oh.”

  “After the funeral, I’m going to Oregon.” Gran said it so matter-of-factly that it even took Hailey by surprise.

  “You are?” Regina said with a shocked expression.

  “To be with Mary.” Gran took off her shoes. “She needs me.”

  Regina swung her legs off the couch and with a pained expression said, “When will you be back?”

  “I’m not sure.” Gran walked into the kitchen.

  “I can take care of the house,” Regina called after her, then gave Hailey a smirk.

  Less than a minute later, with a glass of water in her hand, Gran stood in the doorway and said firmly, “No.”

  Regina blinked a few times and shook her head like she hadn’t heard Gran. “What?”

  Gran squared her shoulders. “You need to get on your own two feet. For good this time.”

  “But, Momma,” Regina whined.

  Gran held her hand up. “You’ve been wandering aimlessly for years, Regina. I love you and always will, but it’s time. You need to get it together.”

  Regina frowned. She stood and then stomped back to her room, slamming the door.

  Gran looked at Hailey and shrugged. Hailey suppressed a smile. Regina was always doing the leaving, never letting Gran and Gramps know where she was or when she might be back. It was about time Gran stood up to her.