Speak to My Heart

by Rebecca Talley

  Regina nodded. “I’d like that.”

  “I’ll make a reservation so we can fly together.”

  After dinner, they spent time visiting and sharing photos. Gran shared memories and Hailey listened intently, trying to soak up every moment with her grandmother. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about leaving yet, because it was too painful.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

  After making some phone calls and coordinating with Gran’s bank to set up online billing so Gran could easily pay her bills from Oregon, Hailey finished packing her suitcase. She sent off a few emails, including one to Mr. Michaels, and then gazed around her room. Sadness washed over her. It’s time to move on.

  Hailey, her mom, Regina, and Gran took a cab to the airport. Their flights were all within an hour of each other.

  After going through security, they all stopped to say goodbye.

  “Thank you for being with me and for all of your help. Harry loved you so,” Gran said as she embraced Hailey, her familiar floral scent enveloping them.

  Trying to hold back her tears, but failing, Hailey said, “I’m so glad I came.”

  “But now it’s time to go back to your life,” Gran said while she caressed Hailey’s arm. “I want you to promise me something.”

  “Anything.”

  “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Go out and live your life now.” She peered at Hailey. “Don’t be afraid to take risks and give yourself wholeheartedly to the one you love. It’s always a risk, but true love is worth it. And that kind of deep, committed love doesn’t come around very often. Take a chance, dear. Live the life you want.”

  Hailey knew exactly what Gran meant, but it didn’t matter. Her chance with Peter was over. “Thanks, Gran.”

  “And, Shari, thank you for coming to the service. I know it was hard to leave your sweet grandbaby.” Gran gave Hailey’s mom a hug.

  “I wish I could’ve made it here before Harry’s passing. I love the two of you very much.” She turned to Regina. “I hope things work out.”

  “Thank you, Shari,” Regina said.

  “I hope so too, Aunt Regina,” Hailey said. Although she still wasn’t her aunt’s biggest fan, she hoped Regina would get herself together, and that she and Gran could begin to build a more solid relationship.

  Regina managed a slight smile, and then Gran looped her arm through her daughter’s.

  “We’ll talk soon,” Gran said.

  “Of course.” Hailey would miss Gran deeply, but it was good to see her happy with Regina at her side.

  Hailey’s flight to Denver left before her mom’s, so she flew back by herself. Leaning her head back against the seat gave Hailey ample time to think about the last month or so. Her heart was tender and raw, both from losing Gramps and from saying goodbye to Peter. She had hoped there might be a future with him, but that was only wishful thinking. After all, they had separate lives almost two thousand miles apart. It had never been realistic to think anything permanent would come out of meeting him, even if her heart desperately wanted to believe differently. She would cherish her time in Daytona Beach and tuck it into a special place in her memory.

  Hailey caught another flight to Colorado Springs, then took a taxi to her apartment. After unpacking, she flopped on her couch and surfed absently through channels. It seemed like she’d been gone forever and yet it also felt as if she’d never left.

  Someone knocked at the door. Who can that be? I’m not expecting anyone. For a moment, she let herself fantasize that Peter had come to whisk her off to a life of dancing and swinging with lots of cuddling and kissing. She let out a long sigh at the treasured memories.

  The knock sounded again, jolting her from her reverie. Hailey opened the door to Kevin standing there. I’d rather be stranded on a desert island with Jimmy Vaughn than see you right now.

  “Hi, Hailey,” he said in a way that used to be charming.

  “Kevin. What are you doing here?” Her shock was tempered with apathy.

  He looked at her with the same deep blue eyes that used to make her heart skitter. “May I come in?”

  Hailey didn’t see the point, but opened the door wider. “I guess.”

  Kevin stepped inside. “You never called me back.”

  “No, I didn’t.” There had been nothing left to say.

  He approached her, reached out, and grabbed her hand, but she felt nothing. Not even a flicker of anything. “Look, Hailey, I’m sorry for what happened.”

  “I’m sorry too, Kevin.” She dropped his hand. “I wanted to have a life with you. Marry you. Have babies.”

  “And I messed it all up. I know.” A pained expression crossed his once attractive face.

  “Messed it up? No, Kevin, you destroyed it.” She didn’t want him to misunderstand her at all. “We had a great thing going, but it was all a lie.”

  “It wasn’t a lie.” He said emphatically. “I made a mistake. That’s all.”

  Hailey pointed at him. “No, you chose to cheat. With more than one woman. I was the one who made a mistake to trust you in the first place.”

  Kevin stepped closer to her, his dark hair falling over his forehead. “I was so wrong to do that, and I’ve realized that you’re the only one I love, not anyone else. Please, forgive me. I’ll do anything.”

  Hailey held up her hands. “You’ve already done enough.”

  “But I love you, and I want you back,” Kevin pleaded.

  Hailey stared at the man who’d once held her heart. A man she thought she’d love forever. “Here’s the thing.” Hailey didn’t want to purposely hurt Kevin, but he needed to hear the truth. “I don’t love you anymore.”

  “We can make it work this time, baby. I’ve changed. I know you are the only one for me,” he said. “And you still love me.”

  “But I don’t.” Hailey paused for a moment. “I love someone else.” There she’d said it out loud. She loved Peter.

  Kevin took a step back. “Who?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Sadly, that was true. It didn’t matter that she loved Peter.

  Kevin studied her for almost a minute. She assumed he was waiting to see if she’d change her mind and want to take him back, but she stood firm. After spending time with Peter, she could never waste her time on someone like Kevin again.

  Hailey opened her front door and motioned for Kevin to leave. She was done and there wasn’t any point to dragging this out.

  “But—” he started.

  “No buts. I’ve realized there’s so much more out there, Kevin. And I deserve it. I’m not going to settle for anything less.”

  “Hailey—”

  “I’m done, Kevin. Done with you and done with us.”

  “You don’t mean that.” He walked out the door. Over his shoulder he said, “You’ll want me back.”

  Hailey shut the door not only on Kevin, but on that chapter of her life. Seeing him made her realize she was finally and completely free of him. Her time in Florida had cured her of ever wanting to be with Kevin, or a man like him, again. She deserved better—much better. Life was too short to be with a man that cheated. Period.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  Peter sat on the lumpy sofa in Laura’s apartment, staring at the glass of lemonade in his hands when a pretzel stick hit him in the head. “Hey, who threw that?”

  “I did,” Benji said. “You aren’t paying attention.”

  “I’m sitting here watching this movie with you.”

  “No. You’re looking at your drink with a face like this.” Benji made his lip pooch out and his eyes all droopy.

  “That’s ridiculous,” he said. What does a kid know anyway?

  “What’s ridiculous?” Laura asked when she came into the living room with a laundry basket in her hand.

  “How weird Uncle Peter is now,” Benji said.

  “That’s not true. I am not weird.” Peter pushed down his irritation.

  “I gotta agree with Benji,” Laura said with a tone that grated on
Peter’s nerves.

  Peter took a gulp of his lemonade. “You’re both weird.”

  Laura set the basket on the back of the couch. “And I’d say it started, what, about two weeks ago. Yeah, that’s definitely when it started.”

  Peter knew exactly what she was driving at. He scratched at his neck. “Look, are we gonna watch this movie or not?”

  “Evasive maneuvers, huh?” Laura gave him a you-aren’t-going-to-avoid-the-subject stare.

  “I told you, we parted on good terms. There’s nothing else left to say. She’s gone back to her life and I’ve gone back to mine.” Why was this so hard for his sister to grasp?

  “You mean the life where you go through all the motions, but you aren’t really living? That life?”

  He hated how pointed his sister was sometimes. “I don’t know what you want from me.” Peter sat up and placed his glass on the coffee table.

  “It isn’t what I want. Peter,” she pointed at him, “you’re miserable. You’ve been absolutely no fun since Hailey left.”

  “Yeah. What mom said,” Benji interjected.

  “Are you going to sit here and do nothing? Let love slip through your fingers?”

  “Love? Who said anything about love?” Now the conversation was bordering on the absurd. He didn’t love Hailey. Really. He didn’t. They’d had some fun. That was all. And he didn’t want his sister to stick her nose where it didn’t belong.

  Laura threw her head back. “Please. You’re about as lovesick as they come.”

  Peter glanced at his watch. “You know, I need to get going. I have work tomorrow.”

  “What about the rest of the movie?” Benji asked.

  “We’ll finish it this weekend,” Peter said. “Thanks for dinner.”

  He grabbed his phone and headed to the front door.

  “Running away won’t change the fact that I’m right,” Laura called after him.

  Peter jumped into his car and plunged it into gear. Even if Laura was partially right and the memories of Hailey and their time together still circled his mind, it didn’t matter. He’d get over it. He’d move on. His plans to open his practice were on track, and his life was all falling into place.

  Besides he wasn’t in love with Hailey. He didn’t miss the lilt in her laugh, or the way she watched him so pensively when he spoke, or the infusion of kindness in her voice as she interacted with her grandparents. He didn’t recall night after night the time they spent together swinging, dancing, going on walks, and talking. And for sure he didn’t think about her sleek hair, the warmth of her skin next to his, the curve of her lips, or the taste of peppermint in her kiss. Nope, he was not in love with her. Not a bit.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  Hailey spent almost two weeks staying late at work trying to catch up and get back on track with all her clients. Though she’d worked while she was in Florida, she was still behind.

  On the way home from work, she stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items. Back in the bakery department, she spotted Jimmy. Oh, no. If he sees me, I’ll have to talk to him and he’ll try to come over to my apartment. She ducked behind the cereal aisle to avoid him. If she never had to see him again, it’d be too soon.

  She stealthily snuck around the corner, grateful she’d avoided the most annoying person on earth. Hailey bent down to grab a jar of spaghetti sauce, and when she stood, there he was. Boom.

  “Hail, where you been?” Jimmy said in his nauseating drawl.

  Her skin started to itch. “In Florida.”

  “Long vacation or what?” He slicked back his hair.

  “Actually I went back to help my grandpa after he had a stroke.” Not that it’s any of your business.

  “Oh. So, how is he?”

  “He passed,” she said, her patience wearing thin.

  “Oh, geez. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I was thinking . . . maybe . . . we could get together tonight since you’re home now.”

  “I’m really tired, Jimmy.” And will be for the rest of my life.

  “Uh, yeah.” He bobbed his head a few times. “How ‘bout I come over another day. We can get some pizza or something.”

  “I’m going to be very busy catching up with my job.” Very, very busy. Every day. For forever. Plus another ten years.

  He held out a hand. “You gotta eat.”

  “I’ll let you know, Jimmy.” In 2045.

  He gave her his cheesy smile and then winked. “Catch ya later, babe.”

  Hailey hurried down the aisle. Time to find a new grocery store.

  After loading her car with groceries, Hailey drove home, then rushed to her apartment and locked the door behind her. She put the groceries away while warming a can of soup. Sitting in front of her TV with her bowl, she surfed through channels trying to find something to watch. When nothing caught her eye, she absently stared through her window into the darkness.

  Was this how she wanted to spend the rest of her life? Working, living in her average apartment, watching TV, and hiding in the grocery store to avoid Jimmy Vaughn? Even though she’d shed Kevin once and for all, she was exactly where she was before she went to Florida.

  The promise she made to Gran at the airport shot into her mind—a promise she wasn’t keeping. But what could she do about it?

  Deflated and dejected, she got up, dumped her soup in the sink, and went to bed.

  ***

  After spending most of her day preparing for Mr. Lanceton’s audit, running quarterly reports for several other clients, and making a few phone calls, Hailey sat at her desk blankly staring at her computer screen. Working with numbers and making them all balance used to give her a thrill of accomplishment. Now it felt like drudgery. Her life was as bland and dreary as the numbers she worked with. This isn’t the life I want. It isn’t what I promised Gran.

  “Don’t forget about the meeting with Mrs. Winters. It’s tomorrow afternoon,” her boss said, jerking her back into reality.

  Hailey nodded. “I have it down. Her reports are all ready.”

  “I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather.” Mr. Michaels wore a kind expression.

  “Thank you for allowing me to go and help him. It meant a lot.” She’d relish the time she’d spent with her grandparents for the rest of her life, for more than one reason. And it was that one reason that had her so confounded. So conflicted.

  “You’re welcome. Now you can dive back into work full force?” He peered at her over the top of his glasses.

  “Dive back into work full force?” She knew what he meant, but still repeated his words trying to convince herself to do just that.

  “Yes. All of your focus and energy.”

  Hailey looked at him and blurted out, “No, sir.”

  “Huh?” He wore a confused expression.

  “Huh?” Hailey said, equally confused. Why did I say that?

  “What did you say?” He pinched his brows together.

  Hailey blinked. She drew in a breath of courage. “I think I said no, sir. Because I’m not ready to dive into work.”

  Mr. Michaels cocked his head to the right. “Excuse me?”

  Hailey stood, her heartbeat pulsing in her cheeks. “I made a promise to my grandmother that I need to keep.”

  He studied her with a probing gaze. “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t know exactly, but I need to go.” She gathered up her bag. “This isn’t where I belong anymore.” Was she really saying this?

  “What are you doing?” He narrowed his eyes and looked at her as if she’d totally lost her mind. Maybe she had.

  “I’m taking a risk.” It was suddenly so obvious. So clear. “I know what will make me happy. I’ve known it for weeks.” She knew exactly what she needed to do.

  “This doesn’t make any sense,” he said as he watched her.

  “You’re right.” How could she explain this to Mr. Michaels? I can’t explain it.

  “Your job—”

  “Has been great, but it isn’t enoug
h.” As soon as it came out of her mouth, she knew. This was the right thing for her to do. She was done living her mediocre life. She wanted more. She’d had a taste of something better, and now she wanted it all.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To Florida.” A flurry of tingles shot down her back.

  “You’re willing to give up your job?” Mr. Michaels said sternly, arms crossed in front of his chest.

  Hailey drew in a deep breath. With complete confidence in her decision she said, “For a chance to be with Peter? Yes. I’m willing to risk it all.”

  ***

  Hailey packed her suitcase before she could think about her decision. She found a last-minute overnight plane ticket and purchased it. On the way over to the airport, she refused to let herself evaluate what she was doing. She knew it was impulsive and a little crazy—a lot crazy—but she had to go with her gut instinct and follow through. The greater the risk, the greater the happiness that could be hers. It was worth it.

  During the plane ride, she tried to sleep, but all she could think about was Peter and what she would say to him. She blocked out thoughts of his possible reaction because that would make her turn around and return home. She wasn’t naturally impulsive—she liked to consider and plan things and take time to think them through. This was the craziest thing she’d ever done. Ever. In her whole life.

  The plane touched down in Orlando, and she freshened up as much as possible in the airport restroom. She rented a car and made the drive to Daytona Beach, all the while practicing what she would say, especially since he didn’t expect her. She planned to drive over to his office and lay it all on the line. I’m in love with you, Peter. By her calculations, she’d be there before nine o’clock.

  Deep breaths. I can do this.

  When she pulled into the parking lot of the rehab facility where she’d spent time with Gramps, waves of emotions crashed over her. She couldn’t afford to let the memories of Gramps affect her or she wouldn’t go through with telling Peter how she felt.

  She applied some lip gloss, fluffed her hair, and checked her teeth. It’s now or never.

  With each step, her heart threatened to leap right out of her chest. How will he react when he sees me? Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it.