A Kiss in the Dark

by Lisa Fox

  “Why are you even here?” Mia hissed at him, trying to put some space between them.

  “I want to help.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You’re here because you’re guilty.”

  “I’m here because

  “Because I love you,” Grace said to her empty apartment.

  Everything in her recoiled at the admission, even as her heart screamed that it was true. She buried her face in her hands. That was no good. She never wanted to see him again. There was no way she could ever trust him. She would always wonder in the back of her mind if she really meant anything to him, and she couldn’t live with that kind of constant doubt. It would drive her insane. She’d rather be alone.

  Once again, that small, insistent part of her pointed out the look in his eyes when he’d held her. Just because it hadn’t meant anything to him to sleep with the other woman, didn’t mean he felt the same way when he slept with her.

  Grace quickly pushed the thought aside. It was too arrogant to consider. There was nothing special about her, nothing that set her apart from the other woman in any significant way.

  Unless maybe he loved her too.

  She didn’t have time to reflect on the ramifications of that little blockbuster of a thought because her email pinged, saving her from her own crazy speculations.

  She clicked over and saw that it was from Ryan. Her heart lurched, stopped, beat wildly. She was going to ignore it, wanted to ignore it, but it was from his work account and the subject line read: Your Website. She opened the email and found just a few words and a link. Your website is ready, it said. www.GraceBetancourt.com

  She clicked the link and gasped when the page loaded. It was breathtaking, and she couldn’t help but be thrilled by the sight. It was everything she hoped for, the dark night, the unnamed menace, the warm and welcoming inn. The lake seemed to shimmer, and she almost thought she could see the stars twinkling. A bit of light in far corner caught her eye, and she looked closer at the image, her face almost touching the screen. There in the night sky was the sparkling tail of a comet, soaring close to the moon.

  Emotion robbed her of breath. She’d looked up the myth the next day, the story behind the comet named for Endymion, the legendary shepherd and his beloved moon goddess, Selene. There was also a poem by John Keats, a beautiful story of the boy’s epic quest for his true love. Both were tales of desire and longing, of trials faced and overcome.

  The image on the screen held her gaze, her heart full of memories of that night. She’d known the instant she’d kissed him that getting involved with him was going to be dangerous. She’d never anticipated just how much though.

  The alarm on her phone buzzed, and she glanced at the clock on the computer. It was time to call it a day and go visit her dad. She was cautiously optimistic about his progress. Since getting out of the hospital, he seemed more lucid and in control. It was probably only temporary, another bad spell was mostly likely right around the corner, but she did enjoy it for the time being.

  In twenty minutes, she was showered and ready to go. She chose a sundress for the day, a light lavender cotton dress that was both casual and chic. Maybe she’d drive a little further out on the island today after she saw her dad and visit the lake for old time’s sake. It had been almost two years since her last trip there, and from what she could see out her apartment windows, it was shaping up to be a gorgeous day. A little escapade might be just the thing she needed to help soothe her weary, confused heart.

  She bounced out of her apartment, down the stairs, and out onto the street. She stopped dead in her tracks when she caught sight of Ryan Granger leaning against a red sports coupé parked directly outside her building.

  He gave her a crooked grin. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” she replied softly. Why did her heart have to speed up at the sight of him, her arms long to hold him? Why did she have to love him? It was never going to work. She met his gaze and that look was there again, that wonderfully undefinable look that made her warm and chilled and giddy all at the same time. That look tested her will, but she straightened her spine, steeling herself against it. “I thought you were at your office? I got your email.”

  He sighed, looked away momentarily, then met her gaze again. “I miss you, Grace.”

  I miss you too! she wanted to scream, but she wasn’t about to embarrass herself on a public street. She wanted to believe in him, she truly did, but it was hard to get past how much he’d hurt her. “We don’t have anything to talk about, Ryan. And what are you doing here anyway? Have you been sitting outside my apartment all day?”

  “No,” he said. “I knew you’d be coming out about now. It’s Friday, the day you always visit your dad.” He gestured to the car he was leaning on. “I thought I might give you a ride.”

  “Do you really tell every woman the same line?” she asked, her voice a pale whisper of its normal self.

  His face fell, pain flashing across his handsome features. “I’m so sorry for what happened, more than you could ever know. I’m not a nice guy. I told you that. And she was not the first woman I’ve slept with and not known her name.” He pushed himself off the car and took a step closer to her. “But she will be the last. I may be a lot of things, but I’m no cheater. And I only want you, Grace. No one else.” He took a deep breath. “You mean so much to me. I—” He paused, looked at the ground, and then back to her. “I want to be a nice guy for you.” He gave her a tight smile. “But I don’t know how. I’m going to need a lot of help.”

  Weak. She was a weak woman. She ached for him. He was so close. It would be so easy to collapse in his arms, forgive him everything, and let him whisk her away with a promise and a kiss. “You haven’t answered my question.”

  He took another step toward her. “No. The words may have been the same, but the intention was not.” He seemed to struggle with himself, and his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed hard. “It could never be the same. You’re the only one that I love.”

  His words hit her square in the gut. She shook her head, denying everything, her brain fizzling with pure sensory overload. “You don’t mean that.”

  “I do mean that.” He stood close enough now that she could feel the heat of his body. He reached out and brushed his fingertips down the back of her arms. The light caress set her bare skin alight with heated chills. She tried to look away, but he caught her chin and met her gaze. “I love you, Grace.”

  How could she resist him? He was everything she wanted. He was all that she wanted. She had to forgive him. She had to take a chance and trust him. She was helpless not to. “You’re ridiculous.”

  A wide grin broke out on his handsome face and her heart sped up in her chest. “Does that mean you love me too?”

  Oh, no, he wasn’t getting off that easy. “It means I’m willing to recognize your flaws and move forward with you on a probationary basis.” She touched his cheek. “Because I’m totally, crazy in love with you.”

  She allowed him to take her into his arms and didn’t resist when his mouth found hers for a long, deep, toe-curling kiss. A warming sensation glided down her body from her lips to her core, and her arms wound around his neck, hugging him close. The familiar feel of his heart beating against hers heated her in ways beyond any simple lust could manage. She was awash in a heady torrent of relief, pleasure, desire, and most importantly, love. This was the man she wanted to spend her forever with.

  He pulled back with a soft sigh and met her gaze, mirth dancing in his eyes. “You thought about killing me, didn’t you? Planned out all the ways I could meet an untimely demise?”

  She laughed. How could she not? He was ridiculous. And he knew her very well. “Yeah, of course I did.”

  He touched his forehead to hers, kissed her lightly on the lips. “You look nice.” He dipped his head to kiss her throat and her stomach fluttered. “You smell nice.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yes,” she said, suddenly guilty. She�
�d forgotten all about her father. She was a horrible, selfish daughter. “I need to leave now or I’m going to be late.”

  He took her hand and escorted her around the car to the passenger’s side. “Your chariot awaits, M’lady.”

  She lingered outside the car, chewing on her lower lip. “I’d like you to meet my dad,” she said, and plowed on before she could second-guess herself with too many neurotic, anxious thoughts. “He probably won’t understand that he’s meeting you though.”

  Ryan took both her hands in his. “I’d love to meet him.”

  She had to swallow back the emotion that rose in her throat before she could speak again. “Then let’s go.”

  He helped her into the car, and they hit the road, heading out to Long Island. Traffic was heavy, everyone bailing out of work early to abandon the city and get to the beaches and their summer homes, their weekend getaways. They got snarled up about halfway to their destination, caught in bumper to bumper traffic that extended for miles and miles.

  “I know this probably isn’t the best time to bring this up,” Ryan said, glancing over at her then back at the road. “But I want to be with you, Grace, and I need to see you more than once a week. I understand you have work to do, but being with you part time is not going to be enough for me.”

  Grace had willfully chosen to ignore the demands of her writing schedule and what it would mean to actively be with him. It was not an issue she cared to talk about, and thinking about it only made her nerves buzz with stress, but it was something that had to be addressed. She was never going to be able to be with him every night. The only way she was going to make him understand was to be totally, bluntly, honest with him. “Ryan, this place where my father is staying—it’s not cheap. Insurance doesn’t cover the cost. If I don’t write, I’m not going to be able to afford it. I won’t let him be put in some state institution.” She shivered at the ghastly thought. “Never.” Her jaw clenched. “Writing has to be my number one priority.”

  He was quiet as the traffic rolled a few inches forward. “I can help you out,” he said finally.

  She shook her head. “No, Ryan—”

  “I can,” he insisted. “I make good money at Sharpe. And I’ll only be making more as I take on more of my own clients. You don’t have to carry the burden all on your own.”

  His sweetness was overwhelming. “I can’t let you do that.” She chuckled softly. “We haven’t even been on a single real date yet, there’s no way I’m going to let you start paying my rent or something else equally as insane. We have to take this slow. One step at a time.”

  “Okay,” he said, and she could tell from the tone of his voice this was an issue he was not going to let drop. They would be discussing it again—probably over and over again. “But I still want more of your time.”

  Once again she was faced with a choice. Could she compromise her entire life for him? Did she want to? “Maybe we can work out a schedule.”

  He laughed and shook his head. “Do you ever just go with the flow, Grace? Take a chance, follow a whim?” He reached over the gear shift and took her hand. “I want to be with you all night, every night, but I understand you need your time. Let’s see where this takes us, live in the moment, all those clichés.” The side-glance he flashed her was full of innuendo and wicked promise. “Let’s have a little fun.”

  The relationship hadn’t even begun, and she was already in trouble. How was she ever going to survive it? There was no way she could tell him no. “Okay.”

  He smiled and she didn’t think she’d ever seen a man nearly as beautiful as Ryan Granger. “Good. Let’s start tonight.”

  She laughed as the traffic cleared out before them, allowing them to continue on to Westview. “I was thinking of going out to the lake tonight. Maybe walking around a bit. Does that sound like something you’d want to do?”

  “Yes,” he said, lacing his fingers through hers. “It absolutely does.”

  The exits flew by outside the window, the familiar route filled with promise rather than the usual heartbreaking routine. Ryan released her hand to better navigate the pitfalls of the highway. She looked over at him, studying his profile. “What ever happened with your mother?”

  His eyebrows shot up at the sudden change in conversation. “What do you mean?”

  “She didn’t stay broken forever, did she? I mean, is she all right now? What happened?”

  He glanced over at her, then quickly away, but not so fast that she wasn’t able to see the sadness in his eyes. “No, she eventually got better.” He swallowed. “When she met someone else.”

  Grace nodded as the quiet stretched out between them. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was tense. She waited, hoping that he would continue, maybe let her in a little bit. She needed him to share this part of himself with her, especially since he was going to meet her father.

  “That relationship lasted three years, and when it ended, she was just as devastated.” He paused. “Maybe even more so.”

  Miles rolled away under the car. The yellow line was a blur in the corner of Grace’s eye.

  “She’s on husband number three now, and if I let myself think about it too much, it eats a hole in my stomach.” He worried his lower lip with his teeth. “For the first time ever, I’m not in Philly. I don’t know how she’s going to cope this time.”

  “Maybe there won’t be a ‘this time’.”

  Ryan let out a bitter huff. “There’s always a this time.”

  “That isn’t real love, Ryan.”

  He opened his mouth, closed it, then looked over at her. His face softened when he met her gaze. “Yes, I’m beginning to see that.” He took her hand again before turning back to the road. “I also finally get why she keeps searching for it.” He gently caressed her knuckles. “That wasn’t something I ever understood before.”

  “Well, you know, if you do go back, at all, for whatever reason…” She stopped her rambling gush of words and gave his hand a gentle squeeze, hoping her touch would convey all the things she meant to say. “I’d like to go with you.”

  He went very still beside her, the impact of her words creating a heavy tension between them. For a long moment he just drove, silently holding her hand, until finally he glanced away from the windshield to look directly at her. “I’d like that.”

  She nodded, too overcome to trust her own voice. He was willing to let her in, to take down a few of the walls around his heart for her—just as she had done for him by allowing him to join her today. That one, little sentence meant everything. It was exactly what she always dreamed true love would be.

  They arrived at Westview Gardens a little while later and parked in the visitors’ lot. Nerves assaulted her as they crossed the grounds toward her father’s building. Introducing a boy to her dad had always been a terrifying experience, but this time it was even worse. This time it actually mattered, regardless of whether her father remembered him or not. Today she was going to introduce him to the man she loved.

  She entered her father’s room first, checking to see if he was awake. He smiled when he saw her, and she was pleased to see that his eyes were clear and focused. “Hi, Dad.”

  “Gracie!” he said, opening his arms to her.

  She crossed the room and hugged him tight. How she wished it was always this way with him. His lucid moments were so infrequent now. She cherished them whenever she could.

  “Gracie?” her dad asked, looking over her shoulder. “Who’s the man in the doorway?”

  Here we go, she thought and forced a smile on her face. Just be cool. “Dad, I’d like you to meet Ryan.” She held out her hand to Ryan, calling him over. “Ryan, this is my dad.”

  Her father held out his hand, a polite smile on his face. So far, so good. “Hello, Ryan.”

  “Hello, sir,” Ryan said, shaking his hand. “It’s good to meet you.”

  “Ryan made me a gorgeous website,” she said. “I love it.”

  Her father nodded, absorbing that tidbit of in
formation. “That’s great, honey.”

  Yup, great. She took a deep breath. “And we’re, um, kind of…seeing one another.”

  “Kind of seeing one another?” her father said, turning back to her. “What exactly does that mean?”

  The jovialness in his voice both elevated and crushed her heart all at the same time. It was the same tone he’d used every time she’d brought a new boy home for inspection. “Um, it means, that he is, ahhh…” A wild blush heated her cheeks, and she sighed. In love or not, it seemed that she was forever going to have articulation issues.

  “I’m her boyfriend, sir,” Ryan interjected. He flashed Grace a devilish grin. “Boyfriend. I think that was the word you were looking for.”

  She wasn’t sure how it was possible, but she wanted to both die and jump for joy right there in her father’s private room.

  Her father’s gaze was suddenly very intent on Ryan. “Is that so?”

  “It is, sir. I’m a very lucky man.”

  “Yes you are,” her father agreed.

  Something passed over her father’s face then, something very much like a cloud drifting over the sun and his eyes went a hazy shade of faded grey. Grace held her breath, preparing herself for the worst. Her throat tightened, but when he blinked again, she saw that he was still himself.

  “Sit down, Ryan,” her father said, gesturing toward the chairs by the open bay window. He affected a stern face, but Grace knew it was all for show. “I want to hear all about your plans with my daughter.”

  Ryan laughed as he brought both the chairs to her father’s bedside. “I think my number one objective is to get Grace to have a bit more fun. She takes herself far too seriously.”

  “Don’t I know it,” her dad replied. “She has ever since she was a little girl.”

  “Hey!” she said, trying hard to sound offended, but she was smiling too widely to actually pull it off. “I’m standing right here, guys.”

  Ryan gave her a saucy wink and held out a chair for her. She sat down between the two most important men in her life, settling in for what she was sure was going to be an amusingly embarrassing conversation. Later, when they were done visiting her dad, she was going to spend the night with the man she loved. Life wasn’t perfect, but it could be pretty good sometimes.