Ink My Heart lj-2
Page 24
She comes over and starts tugging my shirt up. “With my feelings for you, it seems wrong keeping you a secret from him.” She yanks my shirt over my head. “We’ll have to take it slow in front of him.” She smirks at me, running a thumb over my nipple ring. “No sleepovers when he’s home.”
Though I’m overwhelmed by the step she’s taking, her hands on my skin are making me forget everything else. “Keep undressing me on your bed, and we’re going to be late.”
“I should have set the alarm,” she says wistfully.
Taking in her tone, I ask, “Breakfast tomorrow?”
Grinning, she curls her fingers around the waistband of my pants. “Oh, definitely.”
Fearful of hurting her lip, I press my own lips to her forehead. “Go get ready. I’ll take care of my clothes.”
Studying my body with a glint in her gray eyes, she stumbles back toward the dresser. “Okay.”
Our gazes meet in the mirror as she hauls out clothes. She lets out a laugh and then a wistful sigh before heading to the bathroom. After taking turns—I was tempted to join her, but then we would definitely be late—in the shower, we’re out the door at five to twelve.
In my car, Allie gives directions and then plucks out the small vial of cologne from the cup holder. As I’m turning out of her apartment complex, she opens it and breaths in the scent with her eyes closed. A dazed satisfaction comes over her features. I almost hit the curb, watching her.
“What brand is this?” she asks almost drunkenly.
“No brand,” I say while mentally storing the image of her expression.
She cocks an eyebrow at me.
“It’s custom made from a perfumer in Paris. I reorder it about once a year.”
“Holy shit, Batman!” she says, and the sound of her cursing has me smiling. “Isn’t that expensive?”
I shrug. “One day soon I’m going to take you there. Not that you don’t smell fantastic…”
She frowns. “I don’t wear perfume. Probably just smell like soap and body lotion.”
“Like linen and flowers,” I say, nodding. “A scent I’ve come to love. I’ll ask them to start with those two things.”
She lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “You know I’d love to go to Paris, but I can’t let you take me.”
“Why not?”
“That would be overboard for even you.”
“In less than two months when I turn twenty-one, I come into the money my grandparents left me. I plan on investing most of it, but a trip to Europe won’t even put a dent in it. And whether I deserve it or not, it’s mine. Let me share.”
Her mouth drops. “You’re twenty?” she asks, almost making me laugh that my age is shocking her more than my inheritance. “I assumed twenty-one at least, with all the wine and bars.”
“Almost twenty-one, but being in the band I rarely get carded.”
“I’m two years older than you? That’s crazy.”
I turn into the driveway of the address she gave me while she giggles.
Putting the car in park, I turn to her. “You turned twenty-two a few months ago—it’s not even a year and a half.”
“But still older,” she says, laughing as she reaches for the handle and pushes the door open.
I don’t reach for the door handle next to me. I’ve never met any parents, and I know this is a huge step for her. “You sure about this?”
Pausing, she studies me and then closes the door. Leaning across the console, she gently grips my face. “I love you, Justin. I want you to be part of my life. No one, not even my parents, can change that.” She leans closer.
I pull back. “Besides your lip, we’re in your parents’ driveway.”
“I don’t give a crap, just kiss me.”
Though her fingers pull at my hair, I keep the kiss soft and gentle, but between our lips and tongues, there’s the soft whisper of everything to come.
As we break off the kiss, I smirk. “Okay, let’s do this.”
Allie brings Ben out on the porch while I wait a few feet away on the stairs. He sits on the swing, picking at his shoelaces while she explains we’re dating. Her explanation covers that sometimes she and I will go out to dinner or the movies on our own and sometimes with him.
His expression turns pensive. “Do we have to see kissing movies? I don’t like those.”
While Allie laughs, I say, “Naw. We’ll let you pick. I’m not into those either.”
Ben nods slightly and says, “Okay then.”
Inside, the small house is homey and laced with the smell of something fantastic cooking. But the sight of her father with his arms crossed, standing between the living and dining room, is not as welcoming as the house. Dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt, he glares at me in the same way he did when he found us making lunch in her apartment. Her mother, on the other hand, is giddy with excitement and rushes into the living room from the kitchen. With her graying auburn curls and wide smile, it’s easy to see whom Allie takes after more.
I apologize for being late. Her mother waves a hand, saying Adam is always late. Before I can ask who Adam is, he comes through the door. I keep the surprise from my expression as I’m introduced to Allie’s brother and his wife, Veronica. Allie has never said anything about a brother. Other than wavy auburn hair, they look nothing alike. He shakes my hand while grinning at his sister.
Her mother rushes everyone to a table covered with food. After a prayer—I’m late to fold my hands together; my family never prayed before dinner, and heck, we rarely ate dinner together—everyone talks and passes dishes. During the meal the talking continues. Adam has a new job. Ben was the star of his play on Friday. Allie’s mother is training a new secretary at the insurance office where she works. Allie might be taking on another tattooist at the shop. Her father describes fishing with Ben yesterday. Forks are pointed. Napkins tossed on plates to make points. Hands slapped on the table. On and on they talk and eat, comfortable and open with one another.
Though I feel slightly out of place, I realize this is a normal, loving family. Something I knew existed outside of the cold, refined lives of my parents, but not like anything I’ve ever witnessed. I also realize how much I don’t know about the girl I’m in love with.
After laughing at her father’s story about Ben tangling their fishing lines, she glances at me and then reaches under the table to squeeze my hand. You okay? she asks with the press of her fingers. I give her a smile and press my fingers against hers. The future of learning everything about her flashes through my mind.
The future looks endlessly bright.
Chapter 34
Allie
Across from me, Holly fills my beer and winks at me. Jake puts an arm around her. We’re standing at a tall table, waiting for the band to come out. After two pitchers of beer, they’re giggling and cuddling together. In a bar. At a table in front of the stage. Surrounded by people. Dorks. I take a sip of the beer, wishing Justin were here to cuddle with me so I could be a dork too. Though he’s probably backstage by now—Romeo called an emergency meeting before this show.
It’s been two weeks since Justin had dinner with my parents. We’ve been together whenever possible, but there’s never enough time for us.
With everything going on in my life, we’ve been slowly figuring things out. We’ve had breakfast—well, actually lunch, since breakfast never works—a couple of times over the past two weeks. He’s come to the shop with takeout for dinner. We took Ben to a movie together. We tried to study—we both have spring semester classes—but that didn’t work out very well. We just studied each other.
Besides my busy life, he has the band, and we’ve both had appointments with lawyers. Mine is confident all my demands with Trevor will be met, especially after his two court dates and the temporary restraining order I asked for. Justin’s lawyer is pretty certain he’ll be fined, but he’s hoping to get Gabe off with probation and court-ordered anger management. Justin did have to drag Gabe to the lawyer.
I take anot
her sip of beer and try not to feel too envious when Holly and Jake start kissing.
Though the venue is small, this show is big. Luminescent Juliet’s indie album launches tomorrow, and tonight is the kickoff. Justin has been grumbling all week about Romeo’s decision to do a small show to get the word out. But Romeo would not change his mind about keeping the gig invitation only.
They’re playing only original music. There’s a team of volunteers, from the visual department at our university, that will be recording the show. Most everyone here has agreed to flood Facebook and Twitter and anything else across the Internet with show clips over the next few weeks. Romeo is obviously taking this seriously. I’m guessing Justin just wants to sing in front of a boisterous crowd.
Her own camera ready, Riley waves to me from the side of the stage. Next to her, Chloe waves also. I raise my beer in a toast and they laugh. Justin invited me backstage too, but I like being in front of him. Sometimes when he sings, even in a roomful of people, it feels like it’s just the two of us—and the current of emotions between us.
The lights dim and the crowd’s murmur swells as it pushes toward the stage. High-pitched whistles compete with loud shouts and claps. The stage stays dark and my stomach flutters with the anticipation of seeing Justin perform.
The lights slowly come on and the band stands silent in front of microphones, except for Gabe, who sits behind the drums. Then they break into “Midnight.” One of my favorites. Justin has been loading their original songs on my iPhone and I have been listening to them every chance I get.
Stepping to the microphone, Justin breaks into the fast, bluesy tune with his powerful voice. He’s looking hot in distressed jeans and a form-fitting black T-shirt that melds with the ink on his arms. My eyes devour him, and for a few seconds I don’t notice the music. Just Justin. Dark blond messy hair. Intense gaze. Hard jaw. Flexing inked biceps as he reaches for the microphone. Those eyes find me, and burn into me. Wow. I’m wishing the show were over and we were at my apartment. Alone.
That’s it. I’m not letting him in next time unless he has his guitar.
Next to me, Jake holds Holly while she sways in front of him as the band rips through one song after the next. Justin’s gaze finds me more than once and I can’t help smiling at him. People press behind us and bounce to the music. It’s kind of amazing, but the band sounds as good live as in recorded music on my phone.
Partway through their performance, they change instruments and go acoustic. Justin has shared his fear of playing live acoustic songs with me, and though I know he’s nervous, they sound awesome. His voice is rich and deep, then lush and even. Riley once said something about his vocal range, which I didn’t understand at the time, but now hearing the changing pitches he effortlessly sings, I get it.
Cameras move back and forth in front of the stage the entire time. The crowd is wild and totally into the music. Onstage, the band moves and plays like professionals. During the whole show, I can’t help believing tonight is the springboard for something huge. Tonight is going to catapult Luminescent Juliet into the mainstream.
The thought leaves me bubbly and excited as I sway to the music.
Justin strums the last notes of a fast song with Romeo, then removes his guitar from his shoulder. Dressed like a forties pinup girl in a short, black dress that hugs her curves and a veiled hat, Chloe comes and takes it from him. Several sharp whistles ring out as she carries it off the stage.
Justin adjusts the microphone. “Playing for you guys tonight has been fucking awesome. We’ve played a few new things, but we’re going to close it out with the newest.” His gaze finds me. “I hope you like it.”
Romeo and Sam start a slow, haunting rhythm that isn’t familiar to me. Gabe breaks in with a soft, pounding beat. Justin wraps his hands around the stem of the microphone, closes his eyes, and leans forward. He begins to sing in a clear, deep tone:
Got lost and found what I wasn’t looking for
She smiled and I fell into her a million miles an hour
Brought the stars down from the night sky
Just to drink in her soft sigh
Fell into her a million miles an hour
Again
But the needle dropped
Inked my heart and scarred my skin
Inked my heart and scarred my skin
Though Justin’s eyes are open, he doesn’t look up as the band plays the soft melody between the lyrics. And I’m not sure I could handle him looking at me while the emotion and pain of the lyrics have my knees buckling. I’m not only aware he wrote the lyrics but also know I’m the confused, messed-up source of them. Guilt rips through me and I grip the table edge as his eyes close again.
Empty days go on and on
Bright memories won’t let me sleep in the dark
I want to taste her sigh once more
Suck it in and take her pain
But she’s silent wrapped in a gray-eyed storm
That holds her in and keeps me out
Fell into her a million miles an hour
Again
But the needle dropped
Inked my heart and scarred my skin
Inked my heart and scarred my skin
Romeo plays the instrumental, but Justin still doesn’t look up. My stomach rolls while his lyrics burn into my mind. Forced to face how my self-preservation hurt him, I feel ill. When he sings again, I want to cry, grieve, and beg for forgiveness all at the same time.
The space between us grows
While I wait on hope
And survive on memories
Waiting for the day that breaks through the gray skies
Kills the pain and everything inside
Fell into her a million miles an hour
Again
Still she inked my heart and scarred my skin
Leaving me here alone to breathe her in
Inked my heart and scarred my skin
And the needle drops again.…
When he opens his eyes, they find me. There’s no one between us. No Holly and Jake. No cameras. No fans. No shouts or whistles. The words, the pain, and the emotion of his song have me stumbling toward the stage until I stand beneath him. He jumps off the stage.
“I’m sorry. So sorry,” I say, reaching up and clasping my hands around his neck. Fighting back the tears that have been threatening to erupt, I say, “I never wanted to hurt you.”
He shakes his head slightly and leans to my ear. “They’ll be forever caught in the song, but I promise you those feelings are a faint memory.” He softly kisses the skin under my ear. “Just always be waiting for me?”
And just like that, his love lifts the weight off my chest, because all that hurt is a memory for both of us. So in love with him, and finally completely aware of it, I could never be so self-centered again. Still clutching his neck, I lean back and meet his bright green gaze. “Forever.”
Acknowledgments
I’d like to thank everyone who helped pull this book together. Thanks to Lisa for always reading my early drafts and offering unbiased suggestions. Thanks to Robin Cruise for her awesome editing ninja skills. Thanks to Dooley for putting up with my drive for visual perfection. And thanks to my agent, Jane Dystel, for not only selling this series, but also helping me every step of the way.
I’d also like to thank every reader who gave this story a chance. I’m honored that you would spend your time with my imagination. You all rock!
And finally, thanks to my husband and son for all their awesome support. None of this would have happened without it or them.
About the Author
Jean Haus is the author of the Luminescent Juliet Series, which revolves around a sexy, talented indie band in a small college town. She lives in Michigan with her husband and son, where she spends almost as much time teaching, cooking, and golfing as she does thinking about the tough but vulnerable rockers featured in her books. Visit Jean online at http://www.jeanhaus.com.
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