The Runaway Woman

by Josephine Cox

  ‘I do, and I’m worried about you, Mum. I know you’re hurting, and I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘There is nothing anyone can do,’ she said softly. ‘We all have to try to deal with it in our own way.’

  Thinking of her parents, Lucy fought back the tears. ‘Don’t you worry about me, sweetheart. I’ll be all right,’ she promised shakily.

  Anne saw the car approaching. ‘Here comes Les.’

  She ran to meet him. ‘Where is he?’ She glanced into the back of the car, expecting to see their baby son.

  ‘I’m sorry, love. He’s with the baby-sitter. She turned up twenty minutes ago.’ Les was disappointed to have missed the service. ‘I hoped I might not be too late. I meant to sneak in at the back and catch the end of the service. I should have been there for you, and to pay my respects.’

  ‘You can still do that,’ Anne reassured him. ‘We’ll go up and you can see all the lovely flowers … if you want?’

  Les thought that was a good idea.

  First, though, having seen how pale and quiet Lucy had become, he asked her, ‘If there is anything I can do, just give me a shout, and I’ll be there.’

  Lucy thanked him. ‘If you mean help sort out Mum and Dad’s house and such, it’s all under control. After all the legal business is attended to, Anne has promised to help me go through their personal stuff.’ She gave Anne a warm smile. ‘When that’s done, the family can decide if they would like any keepsakes. As for everything else – furniture and such – Mum always said that when she “pops her clogs” she would like some pieces to be sent to the local charity shop, to help the needy.’

  Les smiled. ‘And why does that not surprise me?’

  He realised there would be much to do, all of it a painful business, and that the tasks would mainly fall to Lucy. ‘Well, the offer is there if needed, Lucy.’

  Lucy thanked him and promised she would call if she needed to.

  Anne assured her mother that it had been the right and proper thing not to have a reception after the service. ‘Grandma never liked anything like that, and besides, most people, like yourself, have taken time off work and need to get back.’

  After saying her goodbyes, Lucy reminded her daughter that she might pop round later, although all she wanted right then was to curl up in a corner and think of what her life might be like now, without her parents.

  Having waited until Anne and Les started on their way up to the church, Paula made a beeline for her sister. ‘Hey! Wait a minute.’

  Lucy saw her coming, and tried to make herself scarce. Paula had nothing to say that she needed to hear.

  ‘Lucy!’ Paula was none too pleased at being made to chase after her. ‘Wait!’

  Quickening her steps, Lucy hurried away. Whatever she says won’t change what they did. I won’t forgive them, she promised herself.

  Behind her, Paula cursed under her breath. That’s it! Run away, and to hell with you! she thought. But you can’t say I didn’t try to warn you. Martin and I plan to be together, and there’s nothing you can do or say to stop it.

  Having seen Lucy hurrying away, Martin and Sam ran to catch up with her.

  ‘Mum!’ Sam’s voice stopped Lucy in her tracks. ‘Mum, wait!’

  Lucy glanced about, discreetly checking that Paula had gone.

  ‘Mum, is it all right if I go with Dad?’ Sam asked.

  ‘Where to?’ With Sam there, Lucy had no choice but to acknowledge her husband.

  ‘We’re going fishing for the rest of the day,’ Martin explained. ‘I thought it might be a good idea … in the circumstances.’ Looking at Lucy, and seeing how pale and worn she looked, Martin had a stab of conscience.

  Then he saw Paula in the distance, and he felt like a man ten foot tall. That beautiful creature was his woman now. Not Lucy.

  Not any more …

  ‘Dad’s given me his spare fishing rod!’ Sam had been after that rod for a long time, and he was genuinely excited. ‘So, is it all right, Mum? I won’t go, though, if you need me.’

  ‘It’s all right, love. I’ve got more than enough to keep me busy just now,’ she said. ‘You go with your dad and enjoy yourself.’ She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. ‘It’ll do you good … take your mind off things.’

  ‘Do you intend going back to work?’ Martin asked.

  ‘I’m not sure.’

  ‘See you later then.’ Martin gave a curt little nod.

  Lucy made no reply.

  With heavy heart, she watched them go. When they were out of sight, she looked back at the churchyard and lowered her head in sorrow. ‘Love you,’ she whispered tearfully. ‘Miss you.’

  Having already refused a lift from both Les and Martin, Lucy chose to walk back. She had a desperate need to be alone with her thoughts. She wondered where her life was heading. Or if she had a future.

  Somehow along the way, she had lost everything, except for her two children and her darling baby grandchild.

  She was immensely thankful for having been blessed in that way, but Sam and Anne were old enough to be independent now. They had their own lives to live. Anne was a wife and mother, and very soon Sam would be off to see the wider world; that much she knew for certain. He was increasingly hankering after adventure, and already he had applied to two colleges. The newsagent’s job was never going to be big enough for him.

  Lucy supposed it would not be long before she was seeing him off, and what would she have then? Both her children having flown the nest; a husband who thought so little of her that he could take another woman into his bed; and a sister who had not only shamed herself and her God-fearing parents, but who had managed to destroy every ounce of love and respect that Lucy had ever had for her.

  So now, with her parents gone, Lucy was made to ask herself, what was left for her?

  With Anne now happily settled as a wife and mother, and Sam straining at the reins to make his own life away from these parts, and, for all she knew, Martin and Paula maybe planning to build a life together, Lucy’s prospects seemed rather bleak. She asked herself, who was she? What purpose did she now serve?

  If Martin left her, who would ever want a dowdy, uninteresting, plain-looking woman who had nothing much to talk about? She had no ambitions, no achievements apart from producing two beautiful children. And because she had married at sixteen, heavily pregnant, she had little experience of life outside of raising a family.

  With all of that in mind, if Martin did leave her to be with her sister, what kind of life would she have, an abandoned woman, whose children had fled the nest? No parents to look after or lean on whenever she needed someone close.

  The more she thought on it, the more she realised that her future looked very bleak indeed.

  In truth, right now it felt to Lucy as though her neat little life was falling apart by the minute.

  It was as though the water had surged over her bridge, taking her with it. And whichever way she turned, there seemed no way back.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  LUCY HAD TOYED with the idea of going back to work for the latter part of the day. Finally, she decided not to go, and rang in to inform the office.

  The boss’s secretary told her not to worry. ‘I know the boss asked if you would try and come back, but to be honest she did not expect you to, and she said as much to me. So, don’t give it a second thought, Lucy. We’ll see you when we see you.’

  Lucy was relieved. Right now she had neither the heart nor the patience to be working that big, noisy machine; especially with everyone keeping a friendly, wary eye on her.

  The two-mile walk home would give her time to assess the recent events. She could scrutinise all that was wrong in her life. It would give her time to plan, time to think of herself for a change, because if there was such a thing as a turning-point in life, this was surely hers.

  Almost halfway home, she was shocked to realise that already the day was slipping away, so she pushed on, needing to get home before Martin and Sam returned from fishing. Y
et even then, she wondered how she could even sit at the same table as Martin. What had they to say to each other that was not already said?

  And how was she supposed to behave naturally when all the while she wanted to rant and rave, and throw him out of the house, with his bag and baggage? In the past few days since her parents died, there had been the funeral to arrange, which had allowed both Lucy and Martin to set aside any confrontation about his betrayal.

  Her first priorities now, though, were Sam and his sister. Lucy knew she must keep her dignity, and wait for the right moment to have it out with Martin.

  As she passed a red phone box, an idea came to mind, so she turned about. Opening her handbag as she went, she collected the few loose coins in the bottom of her purse, and counted them out. ‘That’ll do!’ She felt pleased with herself.

  Inside the phone box, she inserted some coins and dialled the number. After a few rings, Anne’s voice said, ‘Hello?’

  ‘Anne, love, it’s me … Mum.’ Lucy was relieved to hear her daughter’s voice.

  ‘Mum! Where are you? I’ve been calling the house … There’s nobody there. Where’s Sam and Dad? What’s going on?’

  ‘Nothing is “going on”, love. Dad and Sam have gone fishing and probably won’t be home till late. I’m walking home. I need to clear my mind. But I’ve decided to catch a bus to Kathleen’s. She’ll be back from work by the time I get there. I promised to see her, and now is as good a time as any.’

  ‘But what about your tea? I know for a fact you’ve hardly eaten anything all day.’

  ‘I’ll get something – don’t worry, love. It’ll do me good to spend a little time with Kathleen. She makes me feel better about myself.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘I’m not sure exactly,’ Lucy detected a little envy, ‘but she does make me smile, and she tells me off when it’s needed.’

  ‘Hmm! Well, that won’t do any harm, I’m sure. Not when you’re always thinking of others above yourself. Yes, Mum, you go and see your friend. If you want, Les can pick you up when you’re ready to come home.’

  ‘Thank you, but I’ll get the bus. There’s no need for Les to disturb his evening, but there is one thing you could do for me if you can …?’

  ‘Oh, what’s that then?’

  ‘Well, there’s no food prepared for your father and Sam, and they’re bound to be starving hungry after being in the fresh air.’

  Anne put her mother’s mind at rest. ‘I’ll get them fish and chips. The chip shop on Raymond Street is always open.’

  ‘So, how will you let them know? You can’t be sure what time they’ll get back.’

  ‘Like I said, Mum, stop worrying about everyone else! I’ve still got your spare key. Les can take a note over and leave it in the kitchen where they’re bound to see it. They’ll call me, and either they can come to me and have their tea here, or Les will take the food to them. I’ll ask Sam to stay over at our house if he wants. See! It’s no problem … and nothing for you to worry about.’

  ‘Thank you, sweetheart.’

  So, in spite of Lucy’s worrying, everything seemed to be slotting into place. There you are, Lucy girl, she told herself, it seems you’re not altogether indispensable after all. The trouble was, she could not make up her mind as to whether or not that was a good thing.

  Ten minutes later, having called Kathleen, she was clambering aboard the bus.

  ‘Where to?’ The curly-haired conductress stood back to let her pass.

  ‘Market Street, please.’ As Lucy was counting out her change, the bus suddenly moved off, and she quickly grabbed the rail.

  ‘Sit yourself down before you fall down!’ The conductress had a voice like a sergeant-major.

  It was a ten-minute ride to Market Street, and almost as soon as she sat herself down, Lucy was clambering up again. ‘Wait until the bus stops!’ the conductress bellowed. ‘Watch the step as you get off!’

  With three other passengers in front of her, Lucy was impatient to get off the bus and be on her way. As Lucy shuffled along behind the other passengers, the conductress was issuing even more orders. ‘Come on … come on! We haven’t got all day.’

  Everyone quickened their steps. ‘Miserable bugger!’ The fat man in front of Lucy raised his voice in contempt. ‘A bit of respect might not come amiss. I was in the army, I’ll have you know!’

  The conductress ignored him until he was off the bus, when she yelled out, ‘In the army, were you?’ She was still shouting as the bus pulled away. ‘I might tell you, I was a Girl Scout and good at it! So, what do you think to that, eh?’ When the man chose not to answer, she raised her voice, ‘Oh, dearie me! Cat got your tongue, has it?’

  Suppressing a little chuckle, Lucy quickened her steps.

  Kathleen’s house was just a five-minute walk away.

  As she got nearer, Lucy’s heart felt a little lighter. Kathleen was always good to be with, and right now, Lucy was really looking forward to spending precious time with her.

  On reaching the door, she carefully lifted the brass door knocker, and let it fall gently.

  A moment later, the door was opened, and Kathleen flung her arms round her.

  ‘Oh, Lucy, are you all right?’ She urged her inside. ‘I made us a little cottage pie.’ She chatted incessantly as Lucy followed her down the passageway to the kitchen. ‘I know it’s a favourite of yours, but I’m not as good a cook as you, so you’ll have to forgive me if it tastes like rag chopped up.’

  Lucy smiled. ‘Don’t put yourself down, Kathleen,’ she said. ‘You’re as good a cook as anyone, including me.’

  Kathleen wasn’t sure whether she should mention the day’s sad event, but then she decided that might be wiser than pussyfooting around it.

  ‘Did everything go as planned today, Lucy? I mean … was it a lovely service? I bet the church was packed, wasn’t it?’ Kathleen was not quite sure what to say in the circumstances.

  ‘Everything went as it should, I suppose,’ Lucy answered quietly.

  ‘Oh, Lucy, I’m sorry I couldn’t get the time off to be with you.’ Kathleen was desolate. ‘I did ask, but the boss seems to be getting stricter by the minute.’

  Lucy understood. ‘She’s under a lot of pressure, I expect, and she did send some really beautiful flowers. Mind you, all the flowers were lovely … and the priest was very caring and …’ When tears threatened, she paused to take a breath and gather herself. ‘So many people turned out, Kathleen. It was amazing. I never realised Mum and Dad had so many friends.’

  Kathleen was not at all surprised. ‘Your mum and dad were a lovely couple. People took to them straight off, so they had a lot of friends. But what about you, Lucy? You look worn out.’

  In truth she suspected that Lucy had not enjoyed a good night’s sleep for some time – even before she lost her parents. ‘Are you coping all right … really?’ She lowered her voice. ‘Please, Lucy, don’t try dealing with everything yourself. There are people around you who want to help … as I do. You know what they say about a trouble shared.’

  Lucy considered herself fortunate to have such a friend. ‘I know I would only have to ask and you would be there for me. You always are. I’ll admit, though … losing Mum and Dad is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life.’ Her thoughts went to Paula and Martin, a burden that she really couldn’t share. ‘It’s difficult … but I’m coping … just about.’ In truth she was not coping at all.

  ‘I’m here for you, Lucy. Please don’t forget that.’ Kathleen suspected Lucy must be in pieces, but, as always, she was putting on a brave face.

  ‘Don’t you worry … I’ll be fine,’ Lucy told her. ‘Everyone’s been so kind. Anne and Les have been amazing. They can’t do enough, but Anne worried me for a time. She was too quiet, hiding herself away.’

  ‘She was just doing her best to deal with it, I expect,’ Kathleen sympathised. ‘Everyone deals with grief in their own special way. And what about Sam – is he
dealing with it?’

  ‘I think so, but it’s really hard for him, Kathleen.’ Lucy gave a forlorn little smile. ‘He was his granddad’s little mate. The two of them got on so well, always talking about this and that. They had such a lot in common. Of course, Sam adored Mum too. She always treated him as an equal. He was not just her grandson, but also a friend and confidant. But yes, I think he’s dealing with it in his own quiet way. I’m very proud of him, Kathleen. Somehow this whole dreadful business seems to have made him grow up all of a sudden.’

  ‘So, what about his plans for the future? I recall you mentioning that he had a yearning for college?’

  ‘Oh, yes, college is very much on the cards … His grandma persuaded him that he should try to do as much as he can before he decides to settle down, and Martin and I have always agreed with that. Like I told Sam, though, if he’s really serious about college he must not leave it too late. If he wants to get anywhere in life, he needs to work at it. Thankfully, at long last, he seems to have taken all our advice to heart, because now he is determined to gain a place in college.’

  ‘Well, that’s good. And like you say, if he wants it badly enough, I’m sure he’ll succeed in making you and Martin proud.’

  Lucy agreed. ‘He’s a fine young man. It’s true that some time back he did get kind of lost, but now he seems to have found what he wants out of life, and I’m sure we will always be proud of him.’

  ‘Where is he now?’ Kathleen asked.

  ‘Martin’s taken him fishing.’

  ‘That was a good idea. It’ll take both their minds off things for a while, don’t you think?’

  When Lucy merely nodded, Kathleen suspected she was keeping something back. ‘You do intend staying a while, don’t you, Lucy?’

  ‘Yes, of course, and I’m looking forward to a small helping of that cottage pie.’ She was not all that hungry, but because Kathleen had gone to a deal of trouble, she would do her best to enjoy the meal.

  Kathleen laughed. ‘I wouldn’t be too keen if I were you. Come on! Off with your coat and on with the kettle! While you do that, I’ll dish up the cottage pie.’