The Runaway Woman

by Josephine Cox

  ‘That was Anne, checking up on me.’

  ‘Well, that’s good, isn’t it?’

  ‘I told her I was staying with you, that I wanted some time away. Anne said she fully understands and that I should take as long as I need.’

  ‘Anne is a very sensible young woman. She obviously has your best interests at heart.’

  Lucy explained the phone call. ‘She said her dad came round, and that he wanted to know where I was.’

  ‘Hmm!’ Kathleen had the same thought as Lucy. ‘That was very thoughtful of him!’ she quipped sarcastically. ‘What’s happened there? Paula got fed up with him, has she?’ Her comment came straight from the warm wine. ‘Sent him packing, has she? Huh! If you ask me, the pair of ’em want a kick up the arse!’

  ‘Hey!’ Lucy laughed out loud. ‘I’ve never heard you swear like that before!’

  ‘Well, then, you don’t know me as well as I thought you did!’ Kathleen laughed. ‘When it warrants it, I can curse like the best of ’em. And I reckon them two warrant it now. I just hope they get their comeuppance for hurting you the way they did.’

  ‘Anne told him I was here,’ Lucy said.

  ‘Did she now? Well, that’s all right, because if he comes round here, he’ll have me to deal with, I can tell you that!’

  ‘Oh, you needn’t worry yourself, because Anne will make sure he gives me the time and space I need. Bless her, she thinks I’m here with you because of losing Mum and Dad. Thankfully, she doesn’t know the whole truth.’

  ‘Well, now you can relax,’ Kathleen suggested. ‘Put him out of your mind. What you need is to concentrate on what you might do next. You say you’re off to a new life, but how can you manage it? I mean, you won’t borrow money from me, and you don’t even know where you’re going … But, look, I’ve got a little idea. So, d’you want to hear it or not?’

  ‘Yes, go on.’ Lucy knew Kathleen would tell her anyway.

  ‘Right!’ Kathleen was pleased. ‘I’ve got an old widowed aunt. She’s a dear old soul, lives alone in a pretty house not too far from Torquay. She’s always asking me to go and stay with her, but it’s difficult, what with me working full time. But I’ve had her to visit here once or twice and she’s no trouble.’

  Lucy thought she already knew what Kathleen was getting at, but she asked anyway. ‘So, are you suggesting I might be able to go and stay with your aunt for a time?’

  ‘Exactly!’ Kathleen grew excited, ‘Oh, Lucy, you’ll love her. She can be cranky at times, but she’s got a kind heart, and I know she’ll take good care of you. Think about it, Lucy: a house with views you would never believe; the sea air all around you; freedom to do as you please. Oh, and she’s a good listener when needed.’

  Lucy was not altogether convinced. ‘I would be barging in on her without fair warning. And when I get there, she might not even like me. Worse, I might not like her, and it would be an impossible situation. Then where will I be? Right back where I started, only worse, because I’ll have used up some of the little money I’ve scraped together.’

  Kathleen took Lucy’s worries on board. ‘All right, I understand what you’re saying. But if it does work out, you really will have landed on your feet. You might even find a job in Torquay itself, and then you would be totally independent.’

  ‘Well, yes, there is that, I suppose. But I’m not altogether sure …’

  ‘OK, Lucy. I tell you what, you sleep on it. What do you say?’

  Lucy agreed. ‘I’ll sleep on it.’

  PART THREE

  CHAPTER TEN

  IT WAS ALMOST eight o’clock when Lucy woke from a restless sleep, and even now, in the light of day, her mind was in turmoil.

  Having walked the floor of her bedroom for more hours than she had slept, she had eventually come to a decision; although she remained unsure as to whether it was the right one or not.

  Catching sight of herself in the mirror, she was shocked at her dishevelled appearance. ‘Good grief, Lucy! You look a real fright.’ Her hair was wild and tousled because of her twisting and turning in her troubled sleep. Her eyes were sore and tired and her whole demeanour looked frantic. ‘What’s happened to you?’ she asked herself angrily. You had best get a grip of yourself, or you’ll go under … and that’s the last thing you want. Pull yoursef together, woman! For once in your life, you need to think of what’s best for you. Not for Martin or Paula, not even for the family, but for you – Lucy Lovejoy.

  Irritated, she ran the flats of her hands through her tousled hair. You won’t get anywhere if you keep looking back, she decided. You need to look forward.

  Leaning into the mirror, she studied the tired, worn face and the sorry, red eyes that stared back at her, and she laughed out loud. ‘You look like a sorry old drunk the morning after the night before,’ she giggled.

  Patting her face, she managed to return a flush of colour to her cheeks. Lay off the booze in future … you know you’re not used to it, she silently admonished herself. Take a good look at yourself, woman. See what it’s done to you.

  She felt the tiniest bit ashamed, and then she gave a merry chuckle. ‘Me and Kathleen …’ she tutted, ‘… aren’t we a pair of bad ’uns, eh?’ There was Lucy, looking like something the cat dragged in, and judging by the silence from downstairs, her partner in crime was still fast asleep in bed.

  Lucy was both nervous and excited. After examining all the alternatives, she had finally returned to a decision that she instinctively believed must be the right one for her. It felt right. It made her feel good.

  Standing here in front of the mirror, she stared at herself for what seemed an age, her frantic mind ticking over, worrying, weighing the possible consequences of the choice she had settled on, although deep down, somewhere in her deepest soul, she was content. For the first time in her life, she had actually made a decision all by herself, without any persuasion from others. Moreover, she now felt strong enough to see it through.

  Deep in thought, she walked to the window, drew open the curtains, and looked out. The fateful new day was here. ‘A new beginning,’ she murmured with a smile. ‘A new life for Lucy Lovejoy.’

  She felt special. She felt stronger in herself than she had for a very long time. It seemed as though she had actually achieved something.

  Excited and unable to contain herself, she opened the window and called out in a strong, loud voice, ‘Lucy Lovejoy is off on a real adventure … yeah!’

  Clenching her fists, she shook them above her head. From now on I need to find out who I really am, and where my place is, she decided. She was afraid. But not enough to change her plans; because this was her time.

  When Kathleen’s voice called from the bedroom door, Lucy quickly shut the window. ‘Lucy, what’s going on? Is that you shouting?’

  ‘What?’ Lucy was too embarrassed to admit it was her. ‘Oh! I thought it was you. I thought your radio must be on.’

  ‘No, I don’t have a radio in my room. Somebody was yelling, though. It woke me up. Oh, well, never mind. It must have been kids in the street. Are you out of bed, Lucy?’

  ‘I am now, yes.’

  ‘Right, well, I’ll get washed and dressed and I’ll see you downstairs. You can tell me what you’ve decided.’ There was a pause before Kathleen asked, ‘You have decided, haven’t you, Lucy?’

  ‘I have … yes.’

  Some ten minutes later, the two of them were sitting in the small kitchen, sipping tea.

  ‘Right then!’ Kathleen urged Lucy. ‘So, let’s hear your plan … what have you decided? Will you be going to stay with my aunt, or not?’

  ‘No. Thank you for the suggestion, but I’ve decided to go right away … somewhere Mum and Dad used to take me and Paula, when we were kids.’ She choked back tears. ‘I’ve been missing Mum and Dad so much, I thought it might make me feel closer to them. D’you know what I mean?’

  ‘Oh, Lucy! I think it’s a lovely idea. And, yes, I have an idea how you feel. I agree wholeheartedly with your choic
e, as long as it doesn’t make you feel sad.’

  ‘It won’t. Oh, but we had such wonderful times there as kids … me and Paula. And later, when Samuel and Anne were toddlers, Martin took us there once. The children played for hours on that very same beach where we had played.’

  She felt torn. ‘I somehow feel that going back might help in some way. Last night when I was in bed, I got to remembering how it used to be. Back then we didn’t have too much of anything, really, but there were no complications. Just close family … and lots of love and laughter … unlike now, when it seems to be one bad thing after another.’ She went on, ‘For some reason, which I don’t fully understand, I feel the need to remind myself of how wonderful it was in that delightful place, when me and Paula were just innocent kids …’ Her voice tailed off as she recalled the unforgivable liaison between Martin and her younger sister.

  Lucy had been left shattered by recent, cruel events, so Kathleen fully understood why she would want to recapture the delightful times she enjoyed as a child, with her sister and parents, and later, with Martin and her babies.

  ‘I think you’ve made the best decision,’ she reassured Lucy. ‘I do believe that sometimes, we really need to look back before we can look forward.’

  Lucy was greatly relieved. ‘So, you’re not upset that I didn’t choose to stay with your aunt?’

  ‘Of course I’m not upset.’ Kathleen was adamant. ‘You seem to have made a choice I had not even thought of. But you still haven’t told me where it is exactly.’

  Joy lit up Lucy’s face. ‘It’s a beautiful little place in Dorset. Somehow, I need to recapture the peace and happiness I felt back then, if that’s possible. I remember it so vividly. It’s not far from Dorchester. It’s a small village off the beaten track, and right on the coast. When we went there, all those years ago, it was little known by holidaymakers.’

  ‘I’ll bet it’s different now, though,’ Kathleen remarked. ‘It’s been such a long time since you were there, it’s bound to have been discovered over the years. Don’t you think so, Lucy?’

  Lucy thought it would be an awful shame if that lovely place had been spoiled, although it was true that nowhere remained unchanged for all time. ‘You could be right,’ she answered. ‘When we were there with the children some twenty years back, I did notice there were a few more houses dotted about. After all this time, though, as you say, it’s not very likely that more people have discovered it.’

  ‘So, if it has changed, will that spoil it for you, Lucy?’

  ‘No. It won’t alter my memories.’ She was certain of that. ‘Besides, the landscape itself is bound to be the same … I hope. The high cliffs, the wide, open beach and the waves lapping over the sands … oh, and the beautiful views from the pretty, wooden jetty.’

  She could see it all so plainly in her mind. ‘Oh, Kathleen, I do hope it’s still just as I remember.’ For a magic moment, she was there, losing herself in the character of that charming little place.

  ‘You know what, Lucy? In a way I envy you, going back there. Revisiting your cherished memories. I can see you in my mind’s eye, perched high up on some cliff, legs dangling over the edge while you gaze out over the sea. Oh, Lucy! It’s exactly what you need … and it’s what you deserve.’

  She imagined the idyllic seaside village that Lucy had described so vividly. ‘It sounds like the kind of quiet, lonely place we all need from time to time, when the big bad world starts crowding in.’

  Lucy agreed. ‘The first time we went there, with Mum and Dad, I was just ten years old. I’ve never forgotten it. Then, some years later, after we had both the children, Martin and I took them there. We only went the once, when money was really short. Anne was a toddler, and Sam was a babe in arms.’ She paused to remember. ‘It was so beautiful, Kathleen. Sadly, though, that was the first and last time for us.’

  Kathleen was curious. ‘What’s the name of this little paradise?’

  ‘If I remember rightly, it was called Limerton or Littleton – something like that – but I’m sure I could find it on the map. The name just popped into my head last night – I can’t think why. Oh, and I’ll never forget the first time we went, and Dad got lost. We went round and round, up and down, and then the old banger of a car suddenly stopped and wouldn’t go. Eventually, we were towed off to a garage, with Dad grumbling and cursing all the way.’

  The memory was so real, she could hear her father’s voice in her head. ‘Roll on the day, when I have enough money to send this useless bag o’ bones to the scrapheap where it belongs!’ Lucy did a fine imitation of her father’s cursing.

  Kathleen laughed. ‘I don’t blame him,’ she quipped. ‘Driving all that way, only to break down when you get there. I reckon I’d be grumpy an’ all.’

  ‘He really loved that old car,’ Lucy explained. ‘He never did send it to the scrapheap. Instead he kept it for about four years, but it was forever breaking down. In the end he sold it to a neighbour who, as far as I remember, had no trouble whatsoever with it.’

  They both laughed at that. ‘Maybe the car didn’t like your dad cursing it all the time,’ Kathleen teased. ‘But you were telling me … how did you manage to arrive at this little hideaway you loved so much?’

  ‘Oh, yes! The man at the garage couldn’t fix the car straight away, so because he had a big old truck, and as we were only four miles from the place we had been looking for, he took us all there in the truck. It was great fun, but needless to say, Dad was not in the best of moods.’

  ‘I’m not surprised.’ Kathleen chuckled at the picture in her mind of Lucy’s dad ranting and raving.

  ‘He told the man with the truck that the old car had enjoyed its last journey, that it rattled the teeth and shook the bones, and that after that bad experience it would be a week before he could walk properly. He vowed that whenever he managed to get the old rust bucket back home, he would turn it into a henhouse in the back garden!’

  Kathleen roared with laughter. ‘Your dad sounds like a bit of a devil.’

  Lucy smiled at the memory. ‘It was one of those days when everything seemed to go wrong, but when we actually got to our destination, it was so beautiful we just forgot all the disappointments. We came off the busy main road, then round a bend, and right there before our eyes was paradise on earth. Tucked away among some high, sloping cliffs, it simply took our breath away.’ She smiled. ‘It even silenced our dad. One minute we were on the main road, with him swearing and moaning and threatening all manner of punishment for the poor old car, and then we turned a corner into the village, and he didn’t even make another peep. At least not until me and Paula scrambled out and ran towards the beach. Then he was yelling, “Be careful, you two!”’

  ‘Careful of what?’ Kathleen asked.

  ‘I’m not really sure. Everything, I suppose. “Be careful!” is always what parents say to their kids when they run off.’

  ‘So, did you get onto the beach all right?’ Kathleen had this captivating image in her mind of cliffs and a wide beach, and the two young girls running, happy and excited.

  ‘The beach was completely empty,’ Lucy recalled, ‘with not a soul in sight. I could not believe that we had this great big, beautiful beach all to ourselves.’

  The memories came thick and fast. ‘I’ll never forget it,’ she told Kathleen excitedly. ‘It was exactly the same when Martin and I took the children there years later. It was still unspoiled, and since that last visit many years ago, I’ve had a hankering to go back.’ Slightly embarrassed, she said softly, ‘I know it sounds soppy, but it was the kind of place that somehow gets right into your soul.’

  Kathleen smiled. ‘Sometimes a place – or a person – can do that to you,’ she said knowingly.

  She could see the longing and regret in Lucy’s eyes. She could hear it in her voice, and she was convinced that Lucy had made the right decision. ‘I’m glad you’ve chosen to go back there,’ she said. ‘I think it’s the right thing to do. It will give you a chan
ce to reflect. The peace and tranquillity, and the comfort of wonderful memories with family … it will help to heal you, Lucy, I know it will. And once that begins to happen, you’ll find you have a clear idea of what you want to do next.’

  Lucy was close to tears. ‘Thank you, Kathleen. I don’t know what I would have done without you.’

  ‘Don’t give it a second thought,’ Kathleen chided. ‘You would have done the same for me. Just remember, I’m here if you need me.’ She gave a long sigh. ‘Oh, Lucy! I really do wish I could come with you … but I can’t.’ She had an idea, though. ‘After you’ve sorted yourself out, maybe the two of us can have a week or so in this beautiful place, and you can show me around. What d’you say to that?’

  ‘Oh, that would be lovely!’ Lucy got out of her chair and gave her friend a long hug. ‘Yes! We’ll do that … just you and me.’ She would not forget.

  Kathleen called for a taxi to take Lucy to Bedford station.

  ‘He’ll be here in ten minutes,’ she told Lucy. ‘I found his number on a card in a shop window a few weeks back. I thought it might come in handy. Apparently, he’s local, and he never overcharges. He also has a reputation for being a safe driver.’

  In a surprisingly short time the taxi arrived. Nervous and excited, Lucy said goodbye. ‘I can never thank you enough, Kathleen.’ She wrapped her arms about this wonderful, caring friend, and held her as though she would never let go.

  ‘Ring me as soon as you get there, will you, Lucy?’ Kathleen discreetly brushed away her tears. ‘I’ll be waiting for your call.’

  ‘I’ll ring you the minute I arrive,’ Lucy promised, ‘and, please, Kathleen, don’t forget the story we decided on, in case Anne should come round. I don’t like deceiving her, but I think it’s a necessary evil. For a multitude of reasons, I do not want the chldren finding out where I’ve gone, and why.’

  ‘I understand. If she does ask, I will simply tell her that you really needed to get away and be on your own for a while. I’ll explain that you’ve gone to stay with my old aunt, and that she is not on the telephone.’