Fresh Ice

by Sarah J. Bradley

  To Quinn’s surprise, Izzy greeted the man, as dirty as he was, with a smile and hug. She handed him a large covered cup, and a brown bag. The man hugged her again, and walked away, pulling strips of bacon out of the bag and eating them like potato chips.

  I should be ashamed of myself.

  Everyone praises me for my charity work. Meanwhile, she’s the one doing the most good for the most people because she’s doing it directly, quietly, and without getting anything in return.

  Deep down, Quinn was far more ashamed of his reaction to the man’s appearance. I’m sure I’ve looked far worse, and I’ve never had to do without. I just assumed that because he’s poor, homeless, whatever, he’s also dangerous…

  Izzy approached the car, a bright smile shining for him. I don’t deserve one second of her time.

  “Hey, why so glum?” She climbed into the car.

  “I was just thinking.”

  “Well stop because you are in danger of your face freezing that way.” She pushed his shoulder.

  “You’re sort of amazing, you know?”

  “Oh yes, you’re just overwhelmed by my intoxicating scent of bacon and coffee. I’m thinking of bottling it.”

  “I’m serious.”

  Her smile faded slowly. “I wish you wouldn’t be; you’re sort of freaking me out.”

  “No, I just watched what you did right there. You know, with that guy.”

  “What, with Toothless Jim? Oh, he comes around every morning. We bag up the whole strips of bacon and sausages that people don’t eat. It’s sort of a shame to toss it and he’s such a nice guy. Just a little down on his luck.”

  “We? So all the waitresses do it?”

  Izzy lowered her eyes and blushed. “Okay. I don’t know that all the girls do it. I know I do. He’s between homes right now, you know?”

  “No, I don’t.” Quinn surprised himself with his complete honesty. “I’ve never been in that position. And you act like it’s no big deal, you just hand him some food and coffee and hug him.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “No.” Quinn shook his head. “It’s everything. You’re the best person I know.”

  “Oh stop it.” She nudged his shoulder again. “You do all those huge charity things, you raise all kinds of money for really great causes. You have no idea how many lives you touch. Me, I just handed a guy a bag of garbage, if you really think about it.”

  But you do it with a pure heart. You’re not trying to buy back your soul.

  “Okay, stop with that face. You promised to feed me. I have just enough energy for food, then you have to take me home and tuck me into bed.”

  He grinned, his good humor restored by her irresistible good mood. “And can I watch you sleep?”

  “Only if you’re well behaved.”

  Quinn looked heavenward and swore to be as well behaved as possible.

  ***

  His apartment fairly dripped with the aroma of fresh baked goods and bacon.

  “Now I know, you’re thinking, ‘we just came from a place where I sling eggs and bacon all night long.’ I’m sure you’re wondering how on earth I managed to cook this amazing meal and pick you up without leaving the stove on and risking the entire building to fire.”

  Izzy grinned and handed him her jacket. “I actually wasn’t wondering that at all. But now that you mention it…”

  He hung her jacket in the closet. “I’ll tell you my big secret. My cleaning lady also cooks.”

  “I didn’t know you had a cleaning lady.”

  Quinn chuckled. “Okay, you caught me. I don’t have a cleaning lady. The lady next door was kind enough to check on things for me while I went to get you from work.”

  “Everything smells so good.”

  “Here, sit down please,” he pulled out a chair for her and then pushed her closer to the table when she sat down. “I’ll go get breakfast.”

  He emerged from the kitchen with the casserole and Izzy applauded. “That looks wonderful!”

  “It’s a recipe my mother used to make on Sundays. She put it in the oven before she herded all of us to church and then it was done by the time we got back.” He cut the casserole into squares and served her a piece. “I hope you don’t mind, I added the mushrooms.”

  She leaned over the plate and inhaled. “No, it smells heavenly. But your mother never worried about it burning or anything?”

  Quinn sat across from her and grinned at the memory. “Our minister was pretty much a clockwork sort of guy. Church was fifty-seven minutes long come hell or high water. The only time it went wrong was the day we had a guest minister who got a little over zealous in his sermon.”

  “What happened?”

  “We ate breakfast out that morning and my mother double checked the preaching schedule from then on.”

  Izzy laughed as Quinn poured her a glass of orange juice. “Parents, right?”

  “Yeah, it’s funny what you think of when you think about your parents. Like I don’t think I’ve been in a church since the day I left home for college, but I can still remember the smell of perfume my mom wore every Sunday.” He took a bite of casserole. Oh good, it turned out. “So what about you?”

  “Well,” she swallowed a bit and paused. “I’ve decided I’m going to see them. My parents.”

  Quinn sat back in his chair and waited for her to continue. She sipped some juice and set the glass on the table in slow motion. Quinn bit his lip, fighting his natural impatience. Finally, he couldn’t stay silent. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah. I’ve been here a few months. It’s time. Well, Collier thinks it’s time…”

  One of these days I’m going to hunt Singer Guy down and throttle him for butting into her life like this. Why should he care a bit if she never talks to her parents again?

  Why do I care if she does?

  Because if she connects to her former life without me where does that leave me?

  That’s a very selfish way to think.

  I’m putting all my energy into not bending her over this table and giving her the ravishing of her life. I’ve got no energy left to be a better person on any other level.

  “Why open everything up like that?”

  She stared at him, her expression reflecting the confusion he felt hearing his own words. Of course she needs to see her parents. I just don’t like her listening to Collier.

  “I think Jenna needs to meet her grandparents.” Izzy’s voice was low and tight. “I think she needs to at least connect a little bit with her family.”

  Quinn shook his head. “I don’t see the point.” Why can’t I shut up?

  “I guess you wouldn’t.” Her words were framed by the angry set of her jaw. “After all, when did you see anyone in your family?”

  Her words halted his argumentative thinking. Okay. Stop. Back up. “So when are you going to go see them?”

  “Saturday.” She took a bite of casserole.

  “Well I’ll be back Saturday afternoon late. Would you like me to come along?”

  “No. that’s not necessary. This is something I have to do.”

  “Okay.”

  She set down her fork. “You know what, Quinn? I’m so sorry. I’m exhausted. Can you just take me home, please?”

  Quinn chewed the inside of his cheek. “Of course.”

  ***

  He drove her home without much conversation. She huddled in the corner of the car, an empty shell of the cheery woman she usually was. For the hundredth time in the short drive, Quinn cursed Collier for even putting an unpleasant thought into Izzy’s head. Then he cursed himself for arguing with her.

  They pulled up to Silver Screen and Izzy climbed out of the car without waiting for him to open the door. He met her on the sidewalk. “Hey, are you okay?”

  She nodded, but there was a shadow darkening her eyes. “I will be. I guess I didn’t realize how much I’m dreading it, you know?”

  Relief flooded him. “Believe me. Dreading family stuff is one thing I know v
ery well.” He wrapped his arms around her. “I’m really, really sorry I questioned you. Are you sure you don’t want me to come along?”

  “No,” her denial was muffled into his chest. “This is really something Jenna and I have to do. We have to see.”

  “Jenna’s on board with it?”

  Izzy rested her head against his chest and wiped her eyes. “I’m not sure what she thinks this is going to be. I’m hoping she’s not disappointed.”

  “Well,” Quinn tightened his embrace, “from what I’ve seen of your daughter, she’s a very strong, sensible lady, a lot like you. Whatever happens, you have each other, you have friends. You have me.”

  Her arms around his waist tightened very slightly, but it was enough. I could live on that quick hug for months.

  She leaned away from his body for a moment. “Thanks.”

  “Don’t mention it.” He kissed the top of her head.

  “So, when’s our first practice?”

  “I’m still pounding out the details on that. I was thinking Saturday, but clearly you’re going to be busy, so I can shoot for Sunday if you’d like.” Maybe by Sunday I’ll get permission from someone to get into the building.

  “Sounds great.” She took a step away and smiled at him. “I’ll see you Sunday.”

  It wasn’t until Quinn had driven a few blocks that he realized he’d kissed her on the head. Just like Singer Guy.

  Damn.

  Trying to ignore the thought, he adjusted the rearview mirror. A white car was a block behind him. That looks like Serena’s car.

  What the…

  The white car turned away and stopped following him.

  I’m imagining thing, obviously.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Izzy unbuckled her seat belt and sighed. Her frosty breath formed a film of steam on the steering wheel.

  “Mom?”

  The house looks exactly the same. Twenty years and not one thing has changed.

  “Mom?”

  What if nothing has changed? Am I strong enough to take it?

  Am I strong enough to shield Jenna from it?

  Stupid Collier. If he hadn’t said anything, I wouldn’t be sitting here, staring at my old front door, wishing I was anyplace else in the world but here.

  “Mom.” Jenna poked her. “I think we need to get out of the car.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I just saw the curtains move. I’m pretty sure they know we’re here, or at least that someone is in their driveway.”

  Izzy inhaled deeply. “You’re right. Let’s go meet your grandparents.” She climbed out of the car and slammed the door with a bit too much power.

  Her feet grew heavy on the short walk to the front door. Maybe they aren’t home. Maybe the doorbell doesn’t work.

  Jenna rang the doorbell, the sound taking Izzy back to her girlhood.

  Damn.

  There was a long pause, long enough, Izzy felt, that anyone in the house would have had plenty time to reach the door and open it, had there been anyone in the house. “They must not be home.”

  “I see someone,” Jenna kept a firm hand on her shoulder. “They’re in there.”

  “I’m not sure, Jens…” Izzy tensed, ready to turn and run, just as the door opened.

  “Hello?”

  Izzy blinked at the white haired woman standing behind the screen door. Not one thing has changed. “Hello, Mother.”

  ***

  The polite thing, the Southern thing to do, Izzy knew, was to let them in and have them sit in the front room and offer them sweet tea.

  And that is exactly what Gwendolyn “Dollie” Landry did for her long lost daughter and grand-daughter. She invited them in, had them sit in the front room and offered them sweet tea, which Jenna accepted and Izzy did not.

  We could be strangers for all the effort she’s putting out.

  Dollie fussed with the glasses for a few minutes until Izzy could no longer stand the tedium. “Mother!”

  Had Izzy thrown ice water in her face, Dollie probably could not have looked more shocked. “Yes, Dear?”

  “Mother, look at this young woman…this is your grand-daughter. This is Jenna. She is my daughter. You’ve never met her. Take a moment and look at her instead of just making sure your manners are perfectly perfect.”

  Dollie sat down, crumpled was a better word, as if the air had gone out of her. Without the support of good manners, she’s nothing to say or do.

  Heavy footsteps in the doorway broke the delicate silence.

  “Who’s this?”

  Izzy glanced up at her father, William Landry. There was more white in his dark hair, but his posture was as rigid as she remembered and so, Izzy guessed from the set of his jaw, was his opinion of her.

  “Well Bill, look who’s come to visit. It’s Isabella and…and…I’m sorry, dear, what’s your name?”

  “My name is Jenna.” Jenna stood and held out her hand to shake her grandfather’s hand. “Pleased to meet you, Grandpa.”

  “I’m not your Grandpa.”

  “Daddy.”

  William whirled his dark blue eyes on Izzy. “Don’t you, ‘Daddy,’ me. I told you the day you left never to come back, that you were not welcome here.”

  “Daddy it’s been twenty years.”

  “Twenty years of shame. Twenty years of ruin. Twenty years of waste.”

  Izzy’s eyes watered with rage. “You are telling me that you’re still shutting me out because I made the mistake of sleeping with my skating partner twenty years ago?”

  “That wasn’t the mistake you made, Dear.”

  Dollie’s thin, watery voice stilled the room, but not the tension. Izzy stared at her mother. “What do you mean that wasn’t the mistake I made?”

  “Dollie, be still.”

  Izzy glared at her mother, then her father. What sort of weird, sick game is this?

  “No, you remember. You didn’t care about them sleeping together. Well, I mean you cared, it was a little unseemly since Jason was so much older than you, Dear, but it wasn’t that...”

  “Dollie…” William’s voice was a low, warning growl.

  “No Daddy, I’d really like to hear what Mother has to say.”

  “Isabella, you have no idea what went on back then. You were a child.”

  “Well I’m an adult now, so why don’t you enlighten me? Because from where I’m standing right now it sounds like my father, my parents, were totally okay with me sleeping with a guy way older than I was…and I think I’d like to know if that wasn’t the huge mistake, what was.”

  “There’s no point in talking about it.” William looked up, in Jenna’s general direction, for the first time.

  This is all about the fact that I gave up skating instead of getting an abortion. “You know, Jenna is your grand-daughter, Daddy. Most guys would like to meet their grandchildren.”

  “You know our opinion. You had no reason to come here.”

  “Isabella, it’s just that it was so very much money.”

  “Dollie!” William’s voice was sharp, startling the older woman.

  Izzy bit the inside of her cheek, “Why Jason, Mother? There must have been a million skaters out there. Why did it have to be Jason, if he was so very, very expensive?”

  “Well, he did guarantee us a gold medal, didn’t he?”

  “Dollie!”

  “Well, maybe he didn’t guarantee it, but he almost did. See, Jason’s other partner was demanding money from Jason, something about a baby. Anyway, Jason said he’d bring home the gold medal for us, but he needed to cover himself because he had all these expenses, with that other girl you know. He also said he’d have to work so much harder to get the gold with such a weak partner.”

  Izzy closed her eyes. You really had no confidence in me as a skater, did you? “I’m still not seeing how we got from there to this place where you won’t even look at me or your grand-daughter.”

  “You were never supposed to get pregnant!” William barked. �
��If we didn’t win it that year, you were young enough to get in the next time around. But you got yourself pregnant. And you insisted on keeping the thing, so we never got the return on our investment.”

  Izzy staggered back, as if slapped. “That thing, you’re referring to, Daddy, is my daughter. She is a person. She is a lovely wonderful woman. There is nothing, no amount of money I would trade for having her. And you, the two of you, are the losers for not getting to know her.”

  “We don’t need to listen to this.”

  “No I’ve waited and wondered for a long time. We’re going to finish this conversation and then never speak again. I was a thing to you, a trained dog or something. You talk about never getting a return on an investment because I didn’t win a gold medal at the Olympics? You’re shutting out your only family because of money?”

  “You weren’t supposed to have a baby!” William’s rage burst out of him like a gunshot. “You were supposed to listen to us, do what we say. But no, instead, you and Jason took every dime we had and lived the high life.”

  “The high life?” Izzy’s let out a shocked laugh. “High life? What high life was I supposed to be living? You chased us out of here. We had nothing.”

  “Jason had more than fifty thousand dollars. Even if he paid all the bills he said he had, there was still plenty left over.”

  We lived on a shoestring budget for years, and we had nothing when Jason died.

  Where did that money go, Jason? What did you do with it?

  William stared at her, his face softening into something of a smile. “Apparently, Jason must not have felt the need to invest in you either.”

  Izzy’s hand flew forward on its own accord. She wasn’t even aware of the motion until she made contact with her father’s face. “You son of a bitch,” she hissed as she grabbed Jenna by the hand, and fled the house.

  It wasn’t until they were a mile away from the house that Izzy even realized she was driving. Then, shaking violently, she pulled over to the side of the road.

  “Are you okay, Mom?”

  Izzy turned bleary eyes to her daughter. “Jens, I’m so sorry. If I’d known it was going to be anything like that…”