Dishonour

by Helen Black

  ‘I’m guessing she’s not your biggest fan,’ said Taslima with a smile.

  Lilly felt relieved. On the way to court her new assistant had been so unforthcoming Lilly was beginning to worry that she’d made a mistake in hiring her. Quiet was fine, uptight was not. When she’d told her about Raffy, the younger woman hadn’t even asked any questions. She just bit her lip.

  Lilly hoped Taslima’s joke was evidence that she wasn’t going to turn out to be some sensitive soul. In this game you couldn’t afford to be.

  ‘Kerry and I have history,’ she said.

  ‘And not at a book club.’

  Lilly laughed. ‘There was a case last year that turned into a serious scrap.’

  ‘Isn’t that all part of the territory?’

  ‘You’d think so,’ said Lilly.

  ‘So why did she take it personally?’

  Lilly paused, unsure how much she should say. Now they were back on an even keel she didn’t want to shock Taslima again.

  ‘Let’s just say she doesn’t like my style.’

  She led Taslima down to the basement and rapped at the iron door.

  ‘Ever been in a cell?’

  The younger woman shook her head again, biting her lip, and Lilly was reminded that she was young and inexperienced. It was easy to forget, given how cool and unflappable Taslima always seemed. Lilly remembered the first time she’d visited a client in the cells. He was a heroin addict with one of his front teeth missing. Lilly had not been cool and hadn’t been able to take her eyes off his track marks. His name was Jason and he died a year later, the needle still in his arm.

  The sound of clanking locks accompanied the opening of the gaol and Lilly saw a shiver pass through Taslima’s body.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Lilly put a hand on Taslima’s shoulder, ‘it’s nothing like on the telly.’

  Jack kicked off his sweaty running clothes and trainers. They hit the bedroom wall, leaving a mark on the fresh cream paint.

  Lilly wouldn’t be happy. After the fire she’d spent time choosing paint colours and curtain patterns and she protected her handiwork like a tigress. Jack had offered to help, but she’d refused, preferring instead to hole up with Penny over interior design magazines and glasses of wine. He should have realised then that, even after he’d moved all his stuff in, she’d never see him as more than a lodger.

  Jack snapped on the shower and stood under the cold stream of water.

  That was the trouble with Lilly: the woman had no patience. She wanted to live her life at a pace better suited to a teenager. If something absorbed her she went at it full pelt. He used to find it endearing but it was beginning to seem irresponsible.

  From the other side of the room he heard his mobile ring and, cursing, he grabbed a towel.

  ‘Hello.’ Water dripped down his face and pooled under his chin.

  ‘Sergeant McNally?’

  ‘Speaking.’

  ‘It’s Mara Blake here.’ The voice at the other end softened. ‘I hope you don’t mind me calling you.’

  Jack felt his cold, damp skin burn. ‘Not at all.’

  ‘I’m not interrupting anything?’

  ‘I’m not working today,’ he said. As an afterthought he added, ‘I’ve been running.’

  ‘I could tell you were a man who liked to keep yourself fit.’

  Jack checked his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The daily workouts were making a difference.

  ‘It’s important to stay in shape,’ he said.

  Mara giggled. ‘You look in great shape to me.’

  For a second that seemed to stretch like elastic Jack could think of absolutely nothing to say. He could hear Mara breathing.

  ‘So what can I do for you?’ he asked at last.

  ‘I just wondered if you’d had any chance to find out about Ryan’s family,’ she said.

  ‘Not just yet,’ he said.

  ‘Oh.’

  If Jack didn’t know better, he might have thought Mara was simply finding an excuse to call him. But he wasn’t that much of an eejit.

  ‘But I thought I might pay his mother a visit later this morning,’ he said.

  ‘Not on your day off, surely.’

  He had planned to go over to Lilly’s new office, help with the unpacking. But she’d be at court on her new case. So.

  ‘I’m not doing anything else,’ he said.

  ‘This is very good of you, Jack.’ She paused. ‘Do you mind me calling you Jack?’

  ‘Of course not.’

  Jack looked at the graze on the wall from his trainers. He probably should try to clean it off. Instead he slipped on some clean clothes and headed for the door.

  Aasha checks the school notice board, her rucksack clutched to her chest. One of the teachers has pinned up a notice for a new after-school club. It’s called the Debating Society and they’ll meet once a week. This week’s debate: ‘Women are equal to men’.

  She’d love to go but it’s set in stone that she’ll help mum.

  As she scans the other posters someone comes in close behind her.

  ‘Boo!’

  Aasha jumps and drops her rucksack, her books escaping across the floor.

  Ryan laughs, his eyes twinkling.

  ‘You scared me.’ Aasha bends to collect her things.

  Ryan bends beside her, so close that she can smell the soap he uses. ‘You up for something really naughty?’ he asks.

  Aasha pretends to play it cool and busies herself with her books. ‘What you got in mind?’

  ‘Follow me.’

  He leads her through the school and out into the Orchard Green. When he gets to the far wall he clasps his hands together.

  ‘Come on, I’ll give you a leg up.’

  Aasha frowns. ‘We can’t just leave school.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because,’ she doesn’t know what to say. Because it’s against the rules, because we might get caught. It all makes her sound so lame.

  He gives her one of his irresistible lop-sided grins and she pushes her foot into his hands.

  She waits at the other side of the wall for Ryan to scramble over. When he lands with a thump her heart makes the same sound. What now? Will he suggest they go back to his house? Aasha’s mouth feels dry at the thought of it.

  She likes Ryan. Likes him a lot. But she doesn’t know if she’s ready for anything physical.

  ‘On a beautiful day like today a beautiful girl like you didn’t ought to be cooped up in school,’ he smiles.

  ‘No?’

  He takes her hand. It’s soft and warm in his.

  ‘Nah.’ He pulls her along.

  She’s been a bit flirty with him on MSN so does he just assume they’ll have sex? Is that how it works? Even as the pleasure of his fingers entwined with hers runs through her body, she can feel the panic rising in equal measure.

  ‘Where are we going?’ Her voice sounds small.

  He raises his eyebrows as if it were obvious. He licks his lips as if they were delicious. They probably are, and Aasha would love to find out—but she’s not ready. She’s made a total idiot of herself and Ryan will be cross because she’s led him on. He’ll tell everyone what she’s done and call her a prick tease.

  ‘Let’s go to the park,’ he says.

  ‘Bags, please, ladies,’ the security guard beamed at Lilly and Taslima.

  Lilly plonked her battered briefcase on the desk and let him rifle through. He pulled out a blackened banana that Jack had forced on her weeks ago and Taslima’s CV, which had chewing gum stuck to it.

  ‘It’s a bleeding health hazard in there,’ he said.

  Lilly rolled her eyes. ‘They get very bored down here, Taslima.’

  Taslima offered her own bag for inspection. Lilly could see the contents were immaculate. No half-eaten KitKats or chewed biros.

  ‘You a drug dealer?’ the guard laughed.

  Taslima blushed deep crimson.

  ‘Two mobiles,’ said the guard.

&n
bsp; ‘I keep an old one,’ Taslima spluttered, ‘for emergencies.’

  Lilly pulled Taslima away by the sleeve. ‘Ignore him.’

  ‘I’m going to try to get you out of here.’

  Lilly sat down next to Raffy on the hard wooden bench in his cell. The concrete floor felt cool beneath her poor swollen feet. Taslima stood rod-straight by the door.

  ‘It’s not going to be easy,’ she continued, ‘but the evidence isn’t overwhelming and of course your age will go in your favour.’

  Raffy didn’t answer.

  ‘Do you understand what I’m telling you?’ said Lilly. ‘I’m going to apply for bail.’

  Raffy shrugged.

  Lilly groaned inwardly and struggled to her feet. A sudden yet overwhelming urge to get out of the drab cell had taken control.

  ‘I’m beginning to think you have a problem with women, Raffy.’

  He shot a glance at Taslima. ‘I have nothing but respect for my Muslim sisters.’

  ‘Tell that to the magistrate,’ Lilly rapped on the door to be let out, ‘the white female magistrate.’

  Lilly hauled herself back up the stairs and Taslima fell in alongside.

  ‘What pisses me off,’ said Lilly, ‘is that my partner really didn’t want me to take this case.’

  ‘Business partner?’ asked Taslima.

  ‘God, no.’ Lilly patted her bump. ‘Boyfriend.’

  ‘Ah.’

  ‘He wants me to stay at home, look after myself. But, oh no, I insist on coming here supposedly to help him.’ She pointed her thumb downwards in the rough direction of the cells.

  Something flashed across Taslima’s face. ‘A husband should support his wife’s work.’

  ‘That’s what I told him, apart from the wife bit, but to be honest I don’t know why I bothered.’ Lilly leaned heavily on the handrail. ‘Raffy obviously doesn’t want to be helped.’

  Taslima went ahead and opened the door at the top. The shouting from inside the foyer hit Lilly like a hot wind.

  ‘He might not want our help,’ said Taslima, ‘but he certainly needs it.’

  Lilly raised her eyebrows.

  ‘He agreed to see you,’ Taslima pointed out. ‘He didn’t send you away.’

  ‘Probably because I came with my Muslim sister,’ said Lilly.

  Taslima wrinkled her nose, making three neat lines under each eye. ‘Ignore all that Islamist stuff.’

  ‘You reckon?’

  ‘If he were a boy from the estates spouting all that bling-bling gangster rapper rubbish what would you do?’ Taslima asked.

  Lilly laughed. Most of the kids she had represented talked a load of old rubbish.

  ‘I wouldn’t pay any attention,’ she said.

  ‘Same thing,’ said Taslima. ‘Underneath that hot air is a frightened boy.’

  ‘The difference is, Raffy sounded like he knew what he was talking about,’ said Lilly. ‘He sounded like he meant it.’

  ‘Do you think he meant it?’ Taslima asked.

  Lilly shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter what I think, courts take these things seriously.’

  ‘Of course it matters what you think,’ said Taslima. ‘If you don’t believe in Raffy, then what has he got?’

  Lilly regarded Taslima with fresh eyes. ‘There was me thinking you’d rather I wasn’t involved in this case.’

  ‘Whatever made you think that?’

  ‘This and that.’ Lilly shrugged. ‘You wouldn’t be alone. Not many of us enjoy getting down and dirty in the cells.’

  Taslima shook her head. ‘We have to help him.’

  From the other side of the foyer Lilly saw Anwar. He was wearing a suit, the knot of his tie small and uncomfortable. The newspaper under his arm hadn’t been opened.

  Lilly waved and he immediately darted towards her.

  ‘Miss Valentine,’ his words fell out in a breathless tumble, ‘I know it looks bad for Raffy, but he’s just a frightened boy.’

  Lilly gestured to Taslima. ‘Are you two in league?’

  Anwar seemed terrified that he had missed something.

  ‘Our family is falling apart,’ he said. ‘Everything I’ve done has been to keep it together, to do what my father would have done.’

  ‘I understand that,’ said Lilly.

  Anwar closed his eyes. ‘Everything is falling apart.’

  Lilly put her hand on his arm. ‘Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘I’m going to do everything I can.’

  Lilly took her place at the long table in the centre of the courtroom. She at one end, Kerry at the other. To accommodate her girth the other woman usually pushed the bench so far back that Lilly could barely reach her papers but today she was glad to have enough room to squash her own stomach into the gap. DI Bell slid in next to Kerry.

  The magistrate, Mrs Lucinda Holmes, sat opposite, at a table at the head of the courtroom.

  Taslima led Anwar to sit at the back of the court. As they waited for Raffy to be brought from the cells he picked at the cuffs of his shirt.

  Lilly wondered where Mrs Khan was. She had clearly been suffering from the shock of her daughter’s death at their previous meetings but Lilly couldn’t imagine anything keeping her away from court if Sam got himself into trouble.

  As the side door opened everyone craned their neck to look. A security guard entered, his greying hair cut short. Not a skinhead, but not far off. He led Raffy into the courtroom and grunted an instruction to him to take the chair next to Lilly. The hatred in his eye was as obvious as the scar that ran through his eyebrow, leaving a unpleasant pink track.

  Raffy slumped into the chair, his head resting cockily to one side. Only a slight tremor in his hands betrayed his fear. Lilly went to touch them but Raffy snatched them away from her and sat on them.

  ‘Don’t say anything unless I tell you,’ Lilly whispered. ‘OK?’

  Raffy’s nod was barely there but Lilly caught it.

  Taslima and Anwar were right: for all his bravado this was a child, and a terrified one at that.

  Kerry was the first to speak. ‘I’m sure you have already seen from the docket that the defendant, Raffique Khan, is charged with murder.’

  She didn’t stand since this was the Youth Court, but her sheer bulk lent her a formidable presence and the enormity of the crime was lost on no one.

  Mrs Holmes nodded. There was nothing she needed to say.

  ‘The prosecution say that the defendant poisoned his sister Yasmeen with a combination of prescription drugs.’

  Lilly felt Raffy tense beside her but he remained silent. Perhaps he was finally beginning to understand that he needed to take Lilly’s advice. She prayed that was the case.

  ‘He ground the tablets down,’ Kerry continued, ‘and hid the powder in a can of cola.’

  ‘Given the magnitude of the offence and the defendant’s age, I shall transfer this case to the Crown Court.’ Mrs Holmes removed the lid of her fountain pen. ‘I shall also ensure that it is listed for directions as a matter of expediency.’

  She began to write the order and the security guard moved towards Raffy.

  ‘Madam,’ Lilly held up a finger to the guard, ‘I should like to make an application for bail.’

  Mrs Holmes put down her pen. Lilly thought she could see a smile playing around the edge of her mouth.

  ‘Do the prosecution object?’ she asked.

  ‘I would be extraordinarily surprised if they didn’t,’ said Lilly.

  Mrs Holmes turned to Kerry. ‘Have you anything to say, Miss Thomson?’

  Kerry shifted on the bench. ‘This case could not be more serious, madam,’ she said. ‘It is not only one of murder but the murder of a young girl. The punishment attached will be long and hard, something the defendant must be aware of.’

  Mrs Holmes nodded. ‘Even you can’t deny that, Miss Valentine.’

  ‘Of course not,’ said Lilly.

  ‘Then you must also accept that the defendant is a flight risk,’ said Kerry. ‘The temptation to
abscond is overwhelming.’

  ‘If he had killed his sister he could have run away then,’ said Lilly, ‘but he didn’t.’

  ‘He didn’t think he’d get caught,’ said Kerry.

  ‘But where would he go?’ Lilly opened her arms. ‘He’s fifteen, he still lives with his mum.’

  ‘Children go missing every day of the week,’ said Kerry.

  ‘Not children from stable homes,’ said Lilly. ‘Not children with warm loving families.’

  Mrs Holmes frowned. She had years of experience in these courts and Lilly would need to offer some strong backup.

  ‘We’ll sign on at the police station,’ said Lilly. ‘Every morning and evening, if you want. That way the police will know exactly where he is.’

  DI Bell leaned towards Kerry and whispered in her ear.

  ‘The defendant has family in Pakistan,’ said Kerry.

  ‘As does every Muslim kid in Luton.’

  ‘He could easily go there,’ said Kerry. ‘We’d struggle to get him back.’

  Lilly didn’t miss a beat. ‘We’ll hand his passport to the Court.’

  DI Bell exhaled loudly, showing the magistrate what he thought of Lilly’s argument.

  ‘I know it’s a hard thing to ask,’ said Lilly, ‘but Raffy is a young boy who has everything going for him. He has no social problems and is doing well at school.’

  She could see Mrs Holmes wavering.

  ‘If he spends the next God-knows-how-many months in custody awaiting trial his life will be ruined.’ She paused for good measure. ‘Everyone in here is well aware of what prison is like and what it does to people. Let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that if Raffy is acquitted he’ll be able to put the experience behind him.’

  Mrs Holmes rolled her pen back and forth with her index finger.

  ‘You’d give us the passport and sign on every day?’

  ‘We’ll chuck in a curfew, if that would help,’ said Lilly.

  DI Bell groaned. He could see as well as Lilly which way the hearing was going. Lilly bit back a smile.

  ‘Raffique,’ Mrs Holmes addressed him directly, ‘would you agree to those conditions?’

  Raffy got to his feet.

  ‘You don’t have to stand,’ said Lilly, taking his elbow.

  Raffy slapped away her hand with a ferocity that startled her.

  ‘I do not accept your British laws.’ He pointed at Mrs Holmes. ‘And I do not accept the legality of your courts.’