by Amali Rose
He leans back against the desk, his shoulders slumping. “I don’t get it, why would that convince you I didn’t fuck her?”
I squeeze my eyes shut against his crass words, and sigh. “Because you don’t lie, Ethan. You’ve never lied to me. I believe that if you wanted to be with someone else, you’d tell me. But you know who does lie?” I pause briefly, but not long enough for him to reply. “Tash lies. So, I had to decide what’s more likely. You cheating on me and lying about it, or Tash somehow manipulating a situation to make me believe you cheated on me.”
“And you believe me?” His voice catches in his throat.
“I believe you,” I confirm.
He sits there nodding his head, not saying anything, just nodding like a loon, until a giant smile spreads over his face. He launches at me, tackling me to the bed and kissing me senseless.
I laugh against his mouth, feeling the stress of the past two-and-a-half weeks drain away.
“I love you.” I pull away from him, just far enough that I can see his face. “I need to stop doubting you and I promise I’m going to try. But—” I squeeze his cheeks with one of my hands. “If I ever see a photo of you in bed, naked, with another woman, I will cut your penis off. Got it?”
He laughs wildly, his happiness evident. “Sounds like a fair deal.”
His mouth finds mine again and we spend seconds, minutes, hell, maybe even hours indulging in the intimate touches I’ve been craving. Our hands become more demanding, and as our bodies seek out the relief we’ve been missing, I make a promise to myself to never stop trusting that this man sees me when I can’t see myself, and he’s got me anytime I need to be caught.
Five Years Later
Ethan
“Look at this.”
A magazine is thrust at my face and I snatch it away, glaring at Seth, before glancing at the cover.
“People? Really, Parker? Although, I guess it’s a step up from the Enquirer.”
“Just look, asshole.”
Taking another glimpse, my eyes widen when I see the cover story. A scandalous cheating headline accompanies a variety of pictures of a pissed-off Michael Bradshaw, storming out of his house and abusing photographers, and a half-naked Tash Bradshaw, dancing on a nightclub table with a cocktail in each hand.
“Well, fuck me.” I grin across at Seth. “I can’t say I’m surprised, though.”
“I can.” I do a double take at his words, because, well, really? “Surprised it took this fucking long to come crashing down.”
“I feel sorry for their kid, though. With parents like that, her life can’t be easy.”
“Tell me about it.” Mia strolls into the large banquet hall where Seth and I are standing by the door, supervising the set-up for tonight’s party. “Those two are like a what-not-to-do parenting guide, coming to you courtesy of every gossip magazine.” She pauses, rubbing her small bump before looking around the room, appreciatively. “This place looks beautiful. Layla’s going to love it.”
I follow her gaze, taking it all in with a sense of pride. The room is decorated in various shades of pink, with elegant – so I’m told – touches of silver thrown in. Sheer white drapery lines the walls, backlit with muted pink lights that cast a romantic glow over the room, and the huge, hanging chandelier in the middle of the ceiling adds to that romanticism. Yeah, Bug is going to love it.
“Okay, Parker, your ass is mine now.” Mia’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I turn my attention back to them.
“I need to get you ready.” She turns to me. “Are you going to be okay here?”
“Yeah, we’re almost finished. Can you let Layla know I’ll be up soon?”
She nods distractedly, her brows furrowed as she watches Seth, who is doing some weird little jig on the spot.
“What are you doing?” she finally shrieks in exasperation.
Seth stills, looking at Mia over his shoulder. “I’m practicing my dance moves.”
I laugh at his bewildered expression while Mia just groans and pushes him toward the door. Before she can follow, I quickly grab her hand, stopping her.
“How’s she doing?”
“She’s fine, Ethan.” Her eyes soften. “A bit nervous at the idea of being the center of attention, but more excited to see everyone.” She places her hand on top of mine and squeezes, reassuringly. “She’s going to be fine.”
I give her a small smile and watch as she follows Seth out. I’m grateful they also got a room in the hotel where we’re holding the party, it’s been a lifesaver having Seth help me out while Mia kept Layla distracted.
I roam around the room, watching people race around putting on all the finishing touches until I find myself standing in front of the gift table. The wall behind it is covered with a beautiful photo display that Layla’s friend Wyatt created.
The collage is a depiction of Layla’s life and I’m struck by how many pictures feature the two of us together, a wave of gratitude for this woman washing over me.
My mind wanders to the magazine article I just saw. There’s no doubt the karma train found Bradshaw and Tash, and a twinge of satisfaction rolls through me. Those two have been together since a one-night stand ended in a surprise pregnancy, not long after Layla and I got together. And since he got drafted into the NFL after graduation, they’ve been living a very public life of breakups and makeups.
In contrast, the past five years have been very kind to Layla and me, and we’re building a life that, for so long, I never dreamed was possible.
We’re both happy in our careers, me working my way up in the architecture firm where I did my internship in college, and her as Miss Jensen to a never-ending parade of first-graders. Our life is quiet, and some might consider it small in comparison to the NFL dream that could have been mine. But our life together is full of love and I have never once regretted the decision I made. Football is for Sundays, not for life.
Her scent hits me before I see her, the light floral scent that I will always associate with her tickles my nose, just before her arms wrap around me from behind.
Turning to face her, I pull her tight to me. “You’re not supposed to be down here.” I lean down and place a kiss on her nose.
“I missed you.” She looks up at me from under her lashes and I feel a jolt rush through me. Her eyes still slay me every single time.
“What’s that?” She peers around me, attempting to see the photo display but I block her view.
“It’s nothing. C’mon, let’s go get ready.” I turn her toward the door, and slip my hand in hers, twining our fingers together.
She follows me silently, but I see her eyes taking in the room and the soft smile that finds a home on her lips. My hand tightens around hers, and I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves and praying that tonight goes the way I hope it will, and we have another significant moment to add to our life collage.
Layla
I wander through the room that’s filled with everyone I love and take a moment to appreciate how lucky I am.
“Aunty Layla!” I look down just in time to see my three-year-old niece throw herself at me.
“Mack, hey, baby. What’re you doing?” I pick her up, reveling in the feel of her chubby arms wrapped around me.
“I’m hiding from Mommy.”
I laugh loudly at her honesty. “If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that, Mackenzie Bug, I would be a very rich lady.”
“Ugh, there you are, you little gremlin.” Cassidy appears from behind me and Mack squeals. “You need to come and eat something.”
“No!” Her little blonde ringlets bounce as she shakes her head and I watch as the two of them, both as stubborn as the other, glare at each other.
“Fine, don’t have any dinner. I guess that means you don’t want any chocolate cake. Seb, Summer, and Poppy will be happy to hear that.”
“No! I want chockly cake!” She reaches out her arms to CJ who takes her and places her on the ground.
“Go see
Daddy and Uncle Ben and they’ll make you a plate.”
Mackenzie runs off and we watch her weave her way through the crowd, throwing herself at Mason just as enthusiastically as she did to me just moments ago.
“God, I love her,” I exclaim.
“She’s a nightmare,” Cassidy counters.
“Well, of course she is, she takes after you.”
“Ha-ha, smartass.” She throws an arm around me. “You having fun, bub?”
“I am. I really am.”
“Good, I have to admit I thought Ethan was crazy throwing you a big party like this, but I guess he knows you best these days.”
I smile because she’s right. No one knows me as well as Ethan. I’m not sure they ever did.
Cassidy starts rambling about the birthday cake she made for the party and I return to my people-watching, tuning her out when I realize I’ve already heard this story twice before.
I spot Seth over in the corner, entertaining Mia, Evie, Wyatt, and Skye, Skye’s youngest daughter, Poppy, on her hip. On the other side of the room my brother-in-law, Mason, and Skye’s husband, Ben, are wrangling the older kids, trying to get them to sit down long enough to eat; and sitting at a table by the buffet, deep in conversation are Ethan’s and my parents.
I smile as I watch them all. It’s a room full of love and I sometimes still pinch myself at how lucky I am. Finally, my eyes search for Ethan. It’s been awhile since I last saw him, and I have the need to feel his hands on me, no matter how briefly.
I turn to Cassidy, interrupting her. “Have you seen Ethan?”
Ethan
I watch her from the other side of the room. Watch her walk around this room filled with her friends and family and revel in the confidence she’s exuding. Years and experience have seen her grow confidently into the person she was always meant to be. I like to think my love has helped, too.
But there are still moments, moments I wish she could see herself through my eyes. Or Evie’s. Or, hell, the stranger on the street. I wish she could really see how beautiful she is. But I realize life doesn’t work that way. All I can do is love her and make her feel secure in that love. The rest is up to her.
“You ready, man?” Seth slaps me on my shoulder.
“Yeah, good to go,” I reply, sounding a lot more confident than I feel.
He motions to the DJ who cuts off the track he’s playing and silences the crowd.
I step up onto the slightly raised platform the DJ has been performing on, nervously clutching the microphone in my hand.
“Hi everyone.” I hold a hand up and wave. “I just want to thank everyone for coming tonight to celebrate Layla’s birthday. I know it means a lot to her that you’re all here, and it means a lot to me too.” My eyes roam over the crowd, looking for the girl of the hour. “Speaking of the birthday girl, where is she?”
A cheer goes up toward the back of the room and I smile when I spot her, a huge grin on her face battling with the red flush of embarrassment.
“Lay, can you come up here?”
Her eyes narrow suspiciously, but with some gentle nudging from Cassidy, she makes her way to the front of the room until she’s standing in front of me. Letting the microphone drop to my side, I step down and place a kiss on the corner of her mouth, letting my tongue sneak out for a quick taste.
“Hey, Bug.”
“Hi,” she whispers.
“Are you having fun?”
She’s looking at me as though I’m insane. “What are you doing?”
I look up and I can see everyone’s eyes locked on us curiously, wondering what’s going on.
“I wanted to ask you a question.”
“And you thought now was a good time?”
I chuckle at her disbelieving tone. “I think now is the perfect time. It’s an important question and I wanted to have a lot of witnesses.”
A wave of whispered excitement spreads through the crowd and I know the exact moment she realizes what is about to happen because her jaw drops and her eyes widen.
“Yes.”
I laugh loudly at her excited shriek. “Yes?”
“Yes! Oh my God, yes!” She’s wringing her hands, practically bouncing on the spot and I can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with her.
“You kind of stole my thunder, Bug. Can I ask the question? I’ve been practicing for months.”
“Oh, oh, I’m sorry, yes, ask! Ask the question!”
I kneel down in front of her and pull out the ring box I’ve been hiding for months. “Layla Rose Jensen, I’ve loved you since we were four, I’ve wanted you since we were twelve and I’ve needed you since I was twenty-one. Will you please marry me and let me love you, want you and need you, for the next sixty years?”
I see her lips form the word ‘yes’ rather than hear it, her whispered response drowned out by the whoops and cheers from our guests. But as the room erupts, I keep my attention zeroed in on her. The only woman I’ve ever wanted to see.
THE END.
Firstly, to all the bloggers who have read, reviewed or promoted any of my books, thank you so very much. I’m incredibly aware how tirelessly you all work to promote authors and you do it all for the love of books. Please know, you are appreciated, you are valued, and we truly couldn’t do what we do, without you. THANK YOU!!!!
As always, a huge thank you goes to my alpha readers, Kim and Tanya, and my beta readers, Heather, Rachel, Renee, Robyn, Tamara and Tre. I am so grateful, to all of you, for your feedback, opinions, support and encouragement. Thank you for dropping everything, every time I sent you chapters, and thank you so damn much for loving Layla and Ethan as much as I do.
Special thanks to Ellie from My Brother’s Editor, and Stacey and Petrina from Spell Bound. This book would not be what it is without you, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being so wonderful to work with and for putting as much care into my book baby as you did.
A big thank you to Judi from Concierge Literary Design & Photography for another beautiful cover, and Kylie from Indigo Assisting for making the inside of my book just as stunning as the outside. You’re both amazing.
On the business end, I want to express my extreme gratitude to Kylie, Jo, Lucy and Alicia from Give Me Books. You ladies are so professional and absolutely brilliant to work with!
Joz, Kim, Antonette, Harper, Stacey, Sienna and Laura, thank you for always making me laugh, always pushing me through and always reminding me how happy I am to have you.
Tanya, I’m so lucky to have you in my corner. Love your guts!
Rachel, thank you for helping me run the ST, and your constant and unwavering support. Forever my favourite Kiwi!
Kerry (and Ella!), Karen and Renee, I’m blessed to have you in my life and will never take your love and support for granted. Thanks for always being there.
My street team: Antonette, Cassy, Devon, Heather, Joanne, Katrina, Lauren, Rachel, Tamara & Tre. You girls are extraordinary. Thank you for believing in me as much as you do. I’m so lucky to have you!
To my readers. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! You’ve waited a long time for this book and I hope you agree that it was worth the wait. Thank you so much for wanting to read my stories. It blows my mind that there are any of you out there, and I will never stop appreciating you.
Finally, this book is incredibly close to my heart. Sometimes the feeling that you’re not enough, that you don’t measure up and you don’t deserve to be loved can be overwhelming. Loving yourself is so much harder than loving another person. We judge ourselves much too harshly, always so quick to believe the judgement of others. Other people who are themselves struggling through their own stories. I hope each and every person who has ever battled this, is able to one day see the true beauty that only they bring into the world.
“You alone are enough.”
Maya Angelou
About the Author
Amali Rose is an Australian author, and former blogger, who released her debut novella in
2017.
A self-confessed bookworm, her love affair with the written word began as a child, with The Magic Faraway Tree. Her tastes have grown and evolved over the years, and after stumbling into the indie community a few years ago, she discovered her passion for romance with a side of smut.
When not reading or writing Amali enjoys baking, yoga, cheesy pop music & netflix marathons; and believes strongly that pink, puppies and chocolate make the world a better place!
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Excerpt
PROLOGUE
2003
My head feels foggy as I watch my father from my cross-legged position on the floor where I’m sitting, still trying to make sense of everything that has happened tonight.
“Skylah?”
I blink once. Twice.
“Skylah.” My father’s voice is louder, more insistent this time, and I see him crouched down in front of me. He’s holding my hands in his, but I can’t seem to feel them. The sense of security that normally follows his touch has vanished.
“Honey, this is for the best, you’ll see. Your mom and I have been so unhappy. We need this.”
As the words leave his mouth I hear a glass smash on the tiled floor, just outside the bedroom door, and hear my mother’s footsteps fade away as she rushes down the hall.