Take a Chance on Me

by Carol Wyer

  ‘Now there’s a thought. Sexy would be better, but semi-sexy should do. Where are you meeting him?’

  ‘It was going to be at work but parking is darn near impossible there, so I texted him and suggested the pub near the hospital to start with.’

  ‘Good, that gives me time to give you a makeover before you leave the studio. I’ll bring my magic bag of tricks, so don’t bother doing your make-up. I’ll do it at the studio while you’re on air. You can play a couple of tracks back to back and I’ll fix your face and hair. Now, what to wear? For a meeting in a pub, with thoughts of going off for a meal and hopefully passionate sex, I suggest you squeeze into your tight black French Connection trousers. Team them up with your best Zara boots, and the silvery top I bought you last year for your birthday. You’ll ignite his fire as soon as he lays eyes on you. Now, go and run a bath and don’t forget to shave all your bits. You might strike lucky!’

  ‘Have you got a manual? I think I’ve forgotten how to do that too.’

  ‘No one forgets how to have sex, Charlie. Not even you!’

  * * *

  True to her word, Mercedes ensured Charlie looked fresh, attractive and sexy. Her hair was loose around her face in gentle waves created by a pair of tongs and much cursing. Her eyes looked large and clear, enhanced by eyeliner and lengthening mascara. In her outfit she looked lean and toned. She mentally thanked the belly dancing lessons for giving her poise. Show over, she headed off as the last track played. She twirled for Mercedes.

  ‘Sexy and feminine with a hint of glamour. You’ll pass,’ said Mercedes. ‘Good luck. Hope you have a fabulous time. Don’t forget to fill me in with all the details. And, I mean all. Here, take this lipstick in case you need to touch it up.’

  She handed Charlie the bright pink fuchsia lipstick she had slicked onto her lips. ‘Go and enjoy yourself. It’s about time you got back into the dating game.’

  Charlie smoothed down her top and regarded Mercedes with a wry smile. ‘I think it’s going to be okay,’ she admitted. ‘I feel ready for some adventure and a new man in my life. Thanks. I would probably have backed down if it hadn’t been for your assistance.’

  ‘That’s what friends are for.’ Adopting a mock serious tone she added, ‘Have you got an extra large box of condoms and breath-freshening mints?’ She threw Charlie a mischievous look and sniggered.

  ‘You minx!’

  Mercedes shrugged her shoulders. ‘You never know what might happen. Don’t want you frantically looking for an all-night chemist.’

  Charlie could not help but chuckle all the way to her car.

  Thirty-Seven

  As Charlie hurried towards The Tradesman’s pub to meet up with Rob, her stomach filled with gentle butterflies. It had been a long time since she had been out with a man. She could not recall the events of the New Year’s Eve party, but she remembered the kiss he had planted on her lips and she was looking forward to seeing him again.

  She parked up, checked her reflection in the rear-view mirror, took a deep breath, willing herself to be calm, and headed towards the pub entrance. Inside, it was packed. There were no free tables to be had. She searched for Rob and finally spotted him propped up on a stool beside the bar dressed in white cotton trousers, a white shirt and a pale pink satin jacket. She grimaced at his attire. It was more suitable for Thailand than a pub in Birmingham. He noticed her and waved her over. She hesitated for a second, wondering if she should continue, before joining him.

  ‘Charlie, very glad you’re here.’ He dropped down from the stool to kiss her. She didn’t remember him being so short. In her heels she towered above him. He made a clumsy attempt to kiss her. She had to stoop. He missed her mouth completely, and her cheek, and ended up slobbering slightly on her neck. Then he took her hand and pressed his lips to the back of it. She resisted the urge to wipe her hand clean of the sticky residue.

  ‘Wonderful to see you. What would you like to drink?’

  ‘I’ll have a small glass of wine, please. I’m a lightweight with drink. Besides, I brought the car.’

  ‘I seem to recall, you were knocking them back at that party,’ he said with a crooked smile as he attempted to get the barman’s attention. ‘We can always leave your car here, if necessary.’

  Charlie nodded. She was being stuffy. She needed to loosen up. She did not want Rob to think she was a boring old biddy.

  ‘Good idea. We can enjoy a few drinks that way. So, what are the plans this evening?’

  ‘I thought we’d stay here. There’s karaoke later. That could be a laugh. I do a mean Meatloaf impression. The beer’s good and they have beer-battered fish with home-made chips and mushy peas,’ he continued, pointing at a chalk board showing the specials of the day. ‘Heaven! I love fish and chips. And bangers. Three years of Thai food and I’m desperate for some British grub. There’s only so much green curry you can eat. And beer. I miss the beer.’

  He waved his empty pint glass at the barman. ‘Another glass of this excellent beverage,’ he shouted. ‘And a large glass of wine for the lady,’ he added, winking at Charlie. ‘Talking of food, you look delicious, Charlie. Very tasty.’

  The barman poured the drinks while Rob continued to mumble on about food. At last, the barman handed over the drinks.

  ‘Can we order food here? Well, when I mean here, I know we can order food in the pub, I meant here, at the bar?’ asked Rob. He then laughed loudly. He sounded like a donkey braying.

  Charlie wondered if Rob had been waiting at the pub long. He seemed tipsy. His voice was very slightly slurred. Maybe he was nervous.

  ‘I’ll get you a couple of menus. When you’re ready, go to the area over there by the sign that says “food orders” and give Georgia, the girl wearing the black apron, your order.’

  ‘Thank you, my good man,’ Rob replied, bowed at him, then winked at Charlie. Charlie cringed.

  ‘Do you want to find somewhere more private to sit?’ he asked.

  ‘There’s a table near the door. The couple sitting there are just about to leave. We could grab that.’

  ‘Splendid. Allow me to carry your drink, dear lady,’ he said, fumbling for the glasses. He misjudged and knocked hers flying to the ground, where it shattered.

  ‘Oops! Silly me. How clumsy. I guess I must still be suffering from jet lag. Let me get you another.’

  People stared at them. Charlie felt herself redden. She shuffled over to the table where she lowered her head and wondered if she should do a runner.

  ‘Here we are, Charlie,’ boomed Rob before she could drum up courage to race off. ‘I got some nuts too, to help soak up the alcohol. Not that we want to soak up too much,’ he laughed and slurped his pint.

  The man now attempting to sit opposite her was surely not the same man she remembered from Mercedes’ party? The same man who kissed her with such passion?

  ‘So, what have you been up to since the party?’ he asked, wiping foam from his upper lip with the back of his hand then sliding it down his trousers, leaving a smeary mess.

  ‘Oh, work, radio. Not too much. My life isn’t as exciting as yours.’

  ‘It’s probably more exciting,’ he replied, downing a quarter of his pint in one gulp.

  ‘I hardly think so. Photography in Thailand trumps working in a café in the UK.’

  He looked away for a moment.

  ‘So, have you taken any more pictures of elephants? You told me about the orphan elephants you visited – the ones that played football. Sounded wonderful.’

  ‘No,’ he said flatly. ‘Not taken much recently. Lost my enthusiasm. Things change. I’m not bothered about elephants anymore. I’d rather watch the Villa; the players have better ball control. Well, some days they do,’ he said and smiled at his own wit.

  Charlie was stumped. What could she talk about?

  Rob got in first. ‘So, how’s your friend in the wheelchair… Mazda and her fella, what’s his name?’

  ‘Mercedes. Mercedes and Ryan.’

 
‘I knew it was a car. Mercedes. That’s an odd name for a girl.’

  ‘Mercedes told me it’s German and was originally given to an engine invented by Maybach and Gottlieb. It was given to the car brand later. It was named after Emil Jellinek’s daughter who was called Mercedes. So, technically, it is a girl’s name,’ she said. Rob looked vacantly at her. She gave herself another mental telling-off. He didn’t require a lecture on car manufacturers. ‘They’re fine. Ryan’s enjoying his new job.’

  ‘Salesman!’ said Rob.

  ‘Policeman. Actually he’s an inspector. He’s really enjoying it. Mercedes still does voluntary work at the hospital radio with me. She did a zip wire challenge with me a while ago. It was amazing. She has no fear.’

  ‘What’s a zip wire?’

  Charlie was somewhat shocked that for someone apparently well-travelled, he did not know what a zip wire was. She explained.

  ‘That sounds… entertaining,’ he replied. He took another swig of his beer and sat in silence staring at the nuts on the table.

  Charlie didn’t know what to say next. ‘I went on a roller coaster too. I had to play a kazoo.’

  ‘Sounds childish. Why did you have to play a kazoo?’ He retorted with a vaguely mocking regard that irritated Charlie.

  ‘It was the challenge. A bit of fun …’ her sentence hung between them.

  ‘I’m back home in the UK, you know?’ he mumbled after a while.

  ‘What, for good?’

  ‘Yeah. She booted me out. My job there didn’t pay much so I couldn’t stay even if I wanted to. Besides, I didn’t like it much. I only took up photography because there wasn’t anything else there for me. It was different for her. She taught little kids in a local school and did healing. Healing! What’s that all about?’ he snorted. ‘I’ve come back home. Hope to get a job here.’

  He stared at his glass, a forlorn look on his face.

  ‘I didn’t know you were in a relationship. I thought you lived in Thailand alone.’

  Rob laughed without humour. ‘No. I’d never have gone to Thailand on my own. I only went because of her. My girlfriend, lover, partner, whatever. Scarlett. That’s her name. She’s, how shall I put it? Alternative. She’s into yoga and crystals and all that razzmatazz. She always wanted to go to the East and especially Thailand.’

  He stopped for a moment.

  ‘I had a bit of a bad time before we went. I struggled with my business. In truth, it was going to the wall. Ha! That’s a good joke, isn’t it? Wall? I was in the building trade? Get it?’ he laughed a hollow laugh and drained his glass.

  Charlie nodded dumbly.

  ‘Scarlett saw it as the chance to take off and do something exciting. She said it would be romantic. She talked of nothing else for months until she wore me down. I didn’t have anything to lose. Or, so I thought. She said we could start a whole new adventure together. It wasn’t an adventure. It was hot, sweaty, difficult and miserable. Well, at least it was for me. She met someone else over there and dumped me. Three years. I gave up everything for her. Three years.’ His eyes took on a faraway look. ‘Still, I’m back now, and you and me, we can have some fun, right? Another drink?’ he asked and without waiting for a response he stood up, faltered then staggered in the direction of the bar. Charlie groaned. She could try and phone Mercedes. Together they could concoct a reason for her leaving early. She fumbled for her phone in her bag and did not notice Jake who was now by her side.

  ‘Charlie?’

  She looked up. ‘Oh, hi!’

  ‘I thought I’d say hello. Don’t want to interrupt your evening with…’

  ‘Oh, that’s Rob. He’s just someone I barely know,’ she replied quickly. ‘You’re not interrupting at all. In fact, I was thinking of having an early night and going home.’

  They could hear Rob talking in a loud voice to the barman. ‘What’s the difference between a new wife and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.’ He exploded into fits of bitter laughter.

  ‘Thought I’d say a quick hello. Heard you were taking on another challenge. I bought one of those little pottery sharks from the café and the owner told me about it. Hope it goes well. I have to say that you are very adventurous. I’m full of admiration for what you’ve been doing.’

  ‘I’m only doing it for the radio station. To be honest, I’m petrified about the next challenge. Give me a roller coaster and a kazoo anytime over diving with sharks.’

  He smiled a warm smile. ‘I’m sure you’ll be fine. You could always try playing them a lullaby on the kazoo.’

  Charlie laughed. ‘Great idea. I’ll try that.’

  Jake appeared to be on his own and seemed pleased to see her. His eyes never left her face. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

  ‘Seriously, you’ll enjoy it. I went diving years ago in the Cayman Islands and saw a nurse shark. They look fierce but they won’t hurt you. They’re just fish.’

  Charlie was grateful for his interest but didn’t want to talk about the shark challenge. She still wasn’t sure how she’d cope.

  ‘So, have you still got the magic kazoo?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh yes. I tried it out only the other day. I can now manage to play the theme tune to The Simpsons. I keep it in my bedside drawer. I look at it every morning to remind me of you and the fact that I’m not really old.’

  She felt a slight tingling sensation. Jake was flirting with her. She could see it in his eyes and in that smile.

  ‘Who are you here with?’ she asked.

  ‘I was supposed to meet Abigail but she stood me up half an hour ago. Her husband phoned her and asked her to go out with some of his clients.’

  Charlie was delighted – Abigail was not his girlfriend.

  ‘I thought Abigail might be your wife,’ she said with a light laugh.

  ‘Crumbs no. Heaven forbid. She isn’t my type – far too bossy. No, I’m not married, nor do I have a girlfriend,’ he added.

  Charlie tried to read his body language. He was displaying a definite interest in her.

  Rob broke the spell.

  ‘Hello, hello, who’s this bloke, then?’ he said as he approached the table. Charlie couldn’t believe how drunk he was. ‘Is he bothering you, Charlie? You’re not pestering my lady, are you? Because, if you are, matey, I’ll have to sort you out.’ He put down his pint and jabbed his forefinger into Jake’s shoulder.

  Jake bristled but kept his temper. ‘We’re friends,’ he hissed. ‘So, back off.’ He turned away from Rob who wobbled unsteadily behind him. ‘Well, good luck again,’ he continued, moving his attention back to Charlie. He seemed reluctant to leave her and hesitated before saying, ‘Night, Charlie. Lovely to see you.’

  ‘Wanker,’ muttered Rob after Jake had turned to go. ‘That’s it. Run off you prick.’

  Jake turned back. ‘Did you say something?’ he asked, his eyes narrowing.

  ‘No. You must be hearing things, old boy,’ Rob replied with a sneer, putting emphasis on the word old. He was so busy trying to outstare Jake, he misjudged where to put the glass of wine and for the second time that night knocked it over, only this time, it went all over Charlie’s top. She yelped and shot out of her chair, upturning her handbag.

  ‘Oopsie daisy!’ boomed Rob, trying to wipe her front with the sleeve of his jacket.

  ‘Don’t worry. I’ll sort it.’ She pushed him away, stuffed her purse and phone back into her handbag, then raced off to the toilets to wash off the mess before it stained her blouse. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jake saying something to Rob and hoped they would not argue.

  It took several minutes to dry her top under the hand dryer. When she came back out, Rob was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Jake. She asked the barman if he had seen them.

  ‘They went outside. The bloke in the white trousers was in a right state. He’s been here since six o’clock and I reckon he’s had at least five pints and four shots. I wasn’t going to serve him any more drinks after that
last one. He was pissed enough. Wouldn’t be surprised if that other bloke didn’t lay one on him. White Trousers got very abusive after you left. Started shouting and carrying on. I’m glad they cleared off.’

  She thanked the barman and left, fuming that Rob had deserted her. She ought to feel sorry for him. His life was in a mess but he did not deserve her sympathy. Fancy leaving her like that. What an idiot! And, as for Jake. He might have waited to see if she was all right instead of merely squaring up to Rob like some testosterone-fuelled juvenile.

  The car park was empty. Clearly neither of them were bothered about her. That was it. She was off men for good. She’d managed for the last few years without them and could manage for many more.

  She stomped over to her car and opened the door, threw her handbag in and was about to get in when she saw movement on the edge of the car park. She peered at the figure. It was a man and he seemed to be writhing under the lamp post that lit the car park. She was torn between racing away and helping the person. A sixth sense guided her closer towards the form. Clutching her mobile in case she needed to phone for help, she advanced a few more steps and gasped. He was naked and trussed up against the lamp post. His head was bowed as he tried to escape his bounds.

  She moved closer to see if the man was injured. He made some guttural noises and sobbed. It was Rob. She hastened towards him, but it was only after she was close enough to free him that she could make out writing on his bare chest. In bright pink fuchsia lipstick were the words, ‘I’m a prick’.

  Thirty-Eight

  Charlie was furious with Jake. How dare he humiliate Rob in such a way! He didn’t have any right to do that. Okay, so Rob was a prat and had behaved badly, however, there was no need to thump him, strip him naked, then tie and gag him with pieces of cloth torn from his pink jacket. He could have been discovered by anyone leaving the pub. As it was, it was bad enough that Charlie had found him. She would tell Jake what an A-hole he was when she next saw him. Luckily for him, Rob was so drunk he couldn’t remember exactly what happened.