Keeping Faith

by Janice Macdonald

  She swallowed. His expression was solemn now, his eyes dark. How could she not be happy? What more proof did she need that he loved her? “Liam, I just want to be sure…it’s such a huge sacrifice for you.”

  “Happy? Or not happy?”

  “Just—”

  “Happy? Or not happy?”

  “Okay, happy. Of course I’m happy. Who wouldn’t be?”

  “Well, maybe you won’t be when I tell you what I’ve found out about the price of houses.”

  “Houses? You’ve already looked at houses?”

  “Not in any great depth, but enough to depress me.”

  “We could stay in my place…” She caught herself and grinned. “Our place? The place I’m renting.”

  “I want Faith to have her dog,” he said.

  Hannah smiled then. Couldn’t stop smiling. A few kids had started to trickle out of the school. If she lived to ninety, she thought, she could never repay him for the sacrifice he’d made today.

  “I think I see our daughter on the schools steps.” Liam put his arm around Hannah’s shoulder and they started walking across the grass. “The girl with the frizzy ginger hair must be Tiffany, right?”

  “Yep.” Hannah squeezed him to her side and reached up to kiss the side of his neck. “Thank you, Liam. I mean it. I don’t even know what else to say. I’ll make you happy, I promise.”

  He stopped walking. “I can see I’m going to have to give you a stern talking to. And you’re obviously a bit thick, so I’m going to say this very slowly. My happiness is not your responsibility.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her mouth. “Got it?”

  She started laughing. “God, I’m getting just like my mom.”

  “Remember that no one forced me to do this. It was my choice. I did it because I want a life with you and Faith and…this is the way it worked out.”

  And since I turned down your first suggestion, Hannah thought, what alternative did you have? But she kept the thought to herself because Faith, in a pink polka-dot dress and white sneakers was tearing across the grass, hair and knees flying, face ablaze.

  “Mommy. Liam.” She beamed at both of them but saved her biggest smile for Liam. “I’ve been thinking about you,” she told him.

  “Have you?” His smile matched hers. “I’ve been thinking about you a bit, too.”

  Faith turned to Hannah. “Can we all do something fun, Mommy?”

  Hannah glanced at Liam. “My plans for the rest of the day were grocery shopping and organizing my sock drawer.”

  He grinned.

  “I’ve become very big on organizing lately. When your closets and cabinets are in order, other parts of life don’t seem so chaotic.”

  “She’s organizing everything.” Faith rolled her eyes dramatically. “You wouldn’t believe it.”

  “Will your socks stage a revolt if you don’t marshal them into order this afternoon?” Liam asked.

  Hannah bit back a smile. “I’ll risk it.” She looked from Liam to Faith. “So what fun thing do you want to do?”

  “Queen Mary,” Faith said.

  “I thought you didn’t like the Queen Mary,” Hannah said.

  “No, I did.” Faith’s smile faded for a moment. “I was just in a bad mood.”

  “Were you?” Liam frowned. “Hmm. I don’t remember that.”

  “Well, I was. But today I’m in a good mood. Want to know why?” She smiled up at him. “Because you’re here.”

  FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON, Liam carried his daughter’s words in his head. A little gift he’d take out every so often, examine and smile to himself. He smiled while they ate ice cream on the dock and he reached over to taste Faith’s bubble-gum sundae. And in the red water taxi that carried them over to the Queen Mary, bobbing across the bay, the wind and sea spray in their faces. And during the Ghost Ship tour of the old liner, listening to spooky accounts of ill-fated passengers reputed to still haunt the decks and cabins. Faith had gripped his hand and shivered dramatically. Hannah had smiled at him and he’d told himself he’d done the right thing. They would all be happy. He could live without the band and the touring. He’d sell the house in Galway, make California his home, wear the bloody barbecue apron if he had to. They’d all live happily ever. They would.

  Around five, Faith had announced that she was hungry and they’d ended up in a downtown café called Super-Mex, where, Hannah insisted, they made the best carnitas tacos she’d ever tasted.

  “You were right.” He pushed his empty plate away. “Best carnitas tacos I’ve ever tasted.”

  Hannah gave him a skeptical look. “Have you ever had carnitas tacos?”

  “No.”

  She pushed his arm. “Tully. I don’t know about you.”

  He caught her hand and felt it go very still. Faith sat next to Hannah. Faith, all pink-cheeked and sleepy-eyed from the boat ride and the tortillas and beans she’d just demolished. He kept holding Hannah’s hand as he addressed his daughter. “Here’s the thing, Faith. I love your mum. A lot. And you’re not so bad yourself.”

  Faith grinned. “And you’re not so bad yourself, Liam,” she said.

  “Thanks. So anyway, I’d like to marry your mother and I was wondering what you might think about that.”

  “Marry her?” Faith’s eyes turned saucer like. She twisted around to look at Hannah. “Hey, Mommy. Liam wants to marry you.”

  “My goodness.” Hannah fanned her face with her hand. “A proposal.”

  “So what do you think about that, Faith?” Liam asked. “Your mother and me?”

  “I think it’s cool,” Faith said. “Huh, Mommy?”

  Hannah smiled as she looked into his eyes. “Way cool.”

  “But I want to be sure I’m doing the right thing,” he told Faith. “You don’t think she’d rather that I just cleared off? Left her alone to organize her cupboards?”

  “She already organizes way too much,” Faith said.

  “You think it’s a good idea then? Marrying your mother, I mean?”

  “Yessss,” Faith said loudly. “Now can I have another Pepsi?”

  “Listen, Faith.” His voice confidential, Liam leaned across the table. “I’m no expert on elocution, but I believe the preferred usage is, ‘May I have another Pepsi?’”

  “May I have another Pepsi?”

  “No.”

  Faith grinned. “You’re funny, Liam.” Up on her knees, she looked at him for a moment. “So if you and Mommy get married, you’ll be my stepdad. Just like when Tiffany’s mom got married.”

  Liam exchanged a quick glance with Hannah, decided to let her respond.

  “Well, this is a little different, sweetie,” Hannah said. “It’s a long story, but Liam really is your daddy.”

  Liam watched Faith’s face as she considered this. Such a short and simple explanation of a long and convoluted journey. He wondered whether the answer would satisfy her.

  “But I thought my daddy was in heaven,” Faith said, after a few moments. “What happened? Did you come back?”

  “Well, it’s a long story,” Liam said. “But you have the gist of it. I’m back and I’m here to stay.”

  “Cool,” Faith said.

  HANNAH STOOD in the doorway of Faith’s room, watching Liam tell his daughter a bedtime story. Actually, he’d already told her a couple, in an outrageously broad accent that she herself could hardly understand. Most of it, she was pretty sure, had been lost on Faith, but it didn’t seem to matter. Faith lay on her back, covers tucked up to her chin, smiling at Liam, clearly enchanted.

  “And a knock came at the door,” Liam was saying. “And Lady Wilde opened it to see a witch with two horns on her forehead and in her hand, a wheel for spinning wool.”

  “How come she had two horns?” Faith asked.

  Liam scratched his head. “D’you think it would better if she had just one then?”

  Faith grinned, sleepy now but willing to be entertained. “No, two horns are good.”

  “Well, the
witches began to sing an ancient rhyme. Strange to hear and frightful to look at they were, those witches with their horns and their wheels. ‘Rise, woman and make us a cake,’ they said.” He turned to look at Hannah. “I think she’s out.”

  “That’s what happens when guys tell women what to do,” Hannah said.

  “Is that so?” Liam followed her into the kitchen and they stood in the middle of the room, his hands on her shoulders. “You mean if I told you to take off all your clothes, you’d fall asleep?”

  “Well, it depends. What would you do after I’d taken off my clothes?”

  He kissed her on the mouth, guided her to the wall and pressed hard against her. “God, Hannah, I have no idea what I’d do. Have you any suggestions?”

  “Yeah, a few.” Still watching his face, she undid his belt buckle, unfastened his pants and slid her palm down over his stomach, beneath the elastic waist of his shorts.

  “Would it have anything to do with where your left hand is right now?”

  “It might.” She smiled into his eyes. “Can you rise to the occasion?”

  “I think I already have.”

  His body shuddered in a quick spasm and he buried his mouth in her neck, nipped at the skin on her collarbone. They kissed, mouths soft and open, bodies dissolving together. She felt languid, sensual, catlike. Jazz should be playing, she thought as she arched her neck to reach his mouth. Fear of Faith waking up and walking in on them stopped her from dropping to her knees and taking him in her mouth.

  “We’d have to be very…circumspect. Faith isn’t used to waking in the morning to find a man in my bed.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.”

  And then she took his hand and led him into the bedroom.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  THE NEXT DAY she drove over to Huntington Harbor to see Brid Kelly. Liam had gone up to L.A. to iron out visa details and wouldn’t be back until early evening. As she pulled up to the curb, she thought of the last time she’d stopped by Miranda Payton’s house. She’d been geared up to do battle with Liam for disappointing Faith. This time her mission was quite different.

  Miranda Payton answered the door. She wore a short white terry-cloth robe and her hair was piled into a disheveled top-knot. Her eyes widened when she saw Hannah. “Liam’s not here.”

  “I know. I’m here to see Brid.”

  Without a word, Miranda turned and called into the house. Moments later, Brid emerged at the top of the stairs. Unsmiling, she stared at Hannah but made no move to come down. Hannah looked from Miranda to Brid, but neither women spoke and she felt a definite tension.

  “We’ve never met.” She addressed Brid. “But I’m Hannah Riley, Liam’s—”

  “I know all about you,” Brid said.

  “I’d like to talk to you, if you have a few minutes.”

  Brid shrugged.

  Hannah shifted her weight from one foot to the other and licked her lips. She wished Brid would come down the stairs and Miranda would go away. From somewhere in the house, she could hear canned laughter coming from a television set. “Can I buy you coffee or something?” she asked Brid. “Breakfast? I haven’t eaten yet, there’s a place on the Coast Highway.”

  “I don’t eat breakfast,” Brid said.

  “There’s coffee here if you want some,” Miranda said.

  “I wanted to talk to you about Liam.” Hannah peered through the expanse of hallway and up at Brid’s shadowy figure on the stairs. “About the band and everything…”

  “The band?” Brid gave a mirthless laugh. “What’s there to talk about? You’ve managed to make short work of the band. It’s no big loss, as far as I’m concerned since I intended to quit after this tour anyway, but Liam might as well be cutting off his left arm.”

  “He’s had a brain lapse,” Miranda said. “Six months from now, he’ll wake up and regret what he’s done.”

  Hannah pushed at her hair. This was none of Miranda’s business. Unfortunately, she was at Miranda’s front door; Brid was on Miranda’s stairs, making no move to come down, and Hannah had the feeling that alienating Miranda wouldn’t help endear her to the singer.

  “Liam’s told you about his job with the Celtic Arts Collective?” she asked Brid.

  “He has.”

  “He swears it’s what he wants to do.”

  “It’s not,” Brid said.

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Celtic Arts Collective.” The derision in Brid’s voice was clear. “Putting Liam into something like that, sitting him behind a desk to do…whatever…would be like taking one of your palm trees back to Ireland and expecting it to flourish.”

  “He’s got this thing about the kid,” Miranda said, “and it’s blinding him to what he really wants.”

  Hannah looked at Miranda and decided she didn’t care whether she alienated her or not. “The kid is my daughter. Liam’s daughter. And her name is Faith.”

  “Do you love Liam?” Brid asked. “Really love him?”

  “Yes, I do,” Hannah said, softly.

  “Then please don’t let him kill his soul.”

  “TELL ME ABOUT YOUR HOUSE in Galway,” Hannah said that evening. She and Liam were in the kitchen of her apartment, trying to whip the stew Liam had sworn he knew how to make into something edible enough to serve the family, who were all coming over for dinner. “Is it in town?”

  “Just outside.” Liam shook pepper onto the browned meat. “What if we added tomatoes?”

  “In Irish stew?” Hannah shrugged. “It’s worth a try, I guess. So what about the schools? Are they pretty good?”

  “My manager’s daughter is doing well enough. Joel’s always talking about all the prizes Carolyn’s taking for this and that and she’s a terrific reader. Last time I was at his house, she read me some bits from Black Beauty. Why?”

  “Just wondering…” She tasted the stew. “God, Liam.”

  He grinned. “Bad?”

  “At least one of us had better learn how to cook.”

  He opened the fridge. “Worcestershire sauce.”

  “Couldn’t hurt.” From the bedroom, she could hear Faith and Tiffany laughing together. “So about your recording contract—”

  “Nixed.”

  She glanced at him. “But it doesn’t have to be that way. You could—”

  “I’ve made the decision, Hannah. Let’s leave it at that.” He poured a stream of Worcestershire sauce into the pan. “Maybe we should wait for your mother and aunts to get here and work their magic on the stew. Why didn’t they ever teach you how to cook?”

  “I can make cakes and lemon chicken,” she said. “Actually, we should bring Faith in here to help us. My mom’s turned her into quite the little cook.” She threw some frozen chopped onion into the pan on the stove. “So anyway, after you’re through with recording, you’d begin the European tour?”

  “Right.” Wooden spoon in hand, he glanced over his shoulder at her. “What’s all this about, Hannah?”

  “I’ve been thinking.”

  “Lie down.”

  “I’m serious. I’m thinking that it would be good for Faith to have a broader experience. See what it’s like to live in another country.”

  “For a holiday, you mean?” He shrugged. “I’d have to check with the new boss. It might be a while before I could get the time off.”

  “I was thinking of something more long-term.” She came up to stand behind him, put her arms around his waist. “Like actually moving there.”

  He went very still. “You’re telling me you want to come back to Ireland? You and Faith?”

  “Yep.” She kissed the back of his neck. “In fact, the more I think about it, the better it sounds.”

  He turned to look at her, his expression unreadable. “What brought about this change, Hannah? I thought we had it all settled.”

  “We did. Now I’ve unsettled it.”

  “I don’t know what to say. You’ve taken me completely by surprise. What
…” He shook his head. “Why?”

  “Because…” She was about to tell him about her conversation with Brid, then decided against it. Besides, it wasn’t the main reason. “I really want us to be a family, you and me and Faith. I want us to create new experiences together, to grow together. I’m not saying we couldn’t do that here, but I like the idea of starting our new life together somewhere completely different.”

  Liam took a couple of beers from the refrigerator and held one out to her. “You don’t have to do this for me, Hannah. I’m fine with the plan we had.”

  “I’m not doing it just for you.” She took the beer. “I’m doing it for us. It’s…I don’t know, time to leave the nest.”

  He laughed. “A bit of a long flight, isn’t it?”

  “Maybe.” But I love you enough to risk it. “We’ll make it. Trust me.”

  “God.” A smile stretched across his face. “You’re sure you want to do this?”

  “Yeah…I do. We need to sit down and talk to Faith about it, of course. But she’s young, so she’d adjust pretty quickly. You wouldn’t have to give up the band. If the European tour is in the summer, we could even go with you. Anyway, I have this new appreciation for tour buses.”

  “We’ll fly,” he said. “Tour buses are for the young and crazy.”

  She grinned.

  “But what about you. Are you going to be happy?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded, even more sure of her decision now she’d told him about it. “I really do want to try something different. I’ve been in a rut for a while now. I just didn’t recognize it. Faith provided me with an excuse to never leave my comfort zone.”

  “I doubt that you’ll find much call for Mediterranean plants in Galway.”

  “Maybe not, but I bet roses do really well there. I’m excited, Liam, I really am. It’s an opportunity for a whole new start. There are all kinds of ideas I want to explore.”

  “I could build you a greenhouse,” he said.

  “See? Next thing you know, I’ll have a thriving roadside stand. Maybe a converted gypsy caravan. Who knows?”

  “What about your mother?”

  “Hey, she was the one who brought you back.” She smiled. “Actually, I think she’ll be happy for me. For us. She’ll miss Faith, of course, but deep down she recognizes that we’re our own family now. You and me and Faith.”