Uncle Plats

by Aqua Allsopp

  “Dude, you do have a big student loan debt.”

  “My uncle says, you’re a smart boy, you and I could make a killing in the construction business with your head and my experience.”

  “I wouldn’t go into business with your Uncle either Dude.” Jake whispers, “I think he’s connected. I’m serious man, your Uncle is mobbed up.”

  “Come on Jake this is a serious conversation man.”

  “Okay Dude I’m listening go ahead,” Jake said as he straightened up his face to take on a serious appearance.

  “My mom just wants me to make her some grandbabies before she dies. They don’t get that I want to be true to who I am and find a woman who doesn’t want to change me. Unless she makes me into an amazingly handsome, successful entrepreneur like Katrina did for you, Jake.”

  “I know you’re kidding and complimenting me so, thanks, bro.”

  “Dating is hard, Jake. Meeting the right woman is hard. And honestly, I’m cracking under the pressure.

  I remember when they were happy when I just wanted to be a cowboy, now they want me to be a businessman and I don’t—I don’t want any of it. I want to be happy, whatever that means.”

  Randy and Jake have been best friends for over a decade and they are at the stage in life where they want to grow up, but just aren’t sure how to get there. Like women, men too obsess over social and biological pressures in their thirties, making them a little crazy in the process also.

  “Okay Nancy, that’s enough of that. I felt my testosterone level dropping while listening to you pour your heart out, Randy. I don’t have any answers for you. So why don’t we just go shot some people?”

  “Hand me that controller and turn on your Xbox man, I could seriously use some Call of Duty right now.”

  “But you still have that date tomorrow with that girl you met online, right?”

  “Yes Jake, now stop talking and play.”

  “Tango down,” the Xbox character says as the guys mindlessly lose themselves in a Call of Duty campaign.

  *****

  “Lindsey, I can’t believe you’re still going on a date with that sailboat guy. What ever happened to Jessie James?” Lindsey’s older sister Rebecca asked.

  “Until I see Jessie standing next to a moving truck, in San Antonio, Texas, I’m not taking myself off the market.”

  “You’ve talked to him every day, sometimes several times a day, for the past month and he accepted the job. What more do you want?”

  “I’m too old to count unhatched chickens, Rebecca. I’m not putting my life on hold for Jessie. Besides, I only met him that one time. What if he moves here and turns out to be a jerk, or psycho, or something?”

  “Now that’s the first rational thing I’ve ever heard you say when it comes to dating Lindsey.” The sisters shared a big laugh over that truth.

  “Listen, Sis, I already paid for my sailing lesson so I’m gonna go ahead and go to this four-day sailing workshop in Austin. I may or may not go out with sailboat guy, but if nothing else…”

  “I know, I know, at least you’ve learned another hobby you can teach your kids someday.”

  “Right! So, I’m leaving Friday and I’ll be home Tuesday afternoon. I’ll text you the address for my hotel and the sailing center. Love you Sis.”

  “Love you more Lindsey.”

  Lindsey became a serial hobbyist out of necessity, but in actuality, she may have grown to love the constant adventure of learning to master some new skill to impress a man. Deep down, she was looking forward to learning to sail.

  “Hi, I’m Lindsey Grantham, I’m checking in.”

  “Welcome to Texas Sailing ma’am. I’m Diana, I have your reservation right here. I see you’re here for the non-certification, private sailing lesson.”

  “Yes, that’s right.”

  “Well here’s your welcome packet and room key. You’ll be staying in room 215. It has a view of Canyon Lake, I’m sure you’ll enjoy that.” Diana said with a big smile and all the enthusiasm of a High School cheerleader.

  “Randal Moore will be your instructor. He’ll meet you here in the lobby at 7:00 am sharp tomorrow. All of the information that you need about meals and the facility is in your packet. If you have any questions call, or come back down to the desk and we’ll be glad to help you.”

  Lindsey was so overwhelmed by all of the information, the facility, the boats, and being alone on such a big adventure, that she only said, “Okay thank you,” on the verge of tears. Then she walked away in search of an elevator to take her to her room.

  When Lindsey opened the door to her beautifully appointed, nautically themed room, the view of the sailboats on the lake was spectacular. But Lindsey felt the sting of tears in her eyes as she sat on the bed, sitting in the realization that she was alone, doing something awesome, again!

  Lindsey never told anyone, but she was as tired of experiencing life alone, as she was afraid of running out of time to have a baby. Lindsey had never really learned how to be alone, without being lonely.

  But, suddenly Lindsey became determined to spend the day alone without feeling sorry for herself. Usually, in a new environment, Lindsey would become fast friends with a perfect stranger, or a group of strangers, and avoid being on her own. This time, she was determined to sightsee, explore, dine, and shop alone.

  Lindsey walked in and out of Canyon Lake shops, rented an SUP, and enjoyed her meals—alone.

  Realizing how late it was getting Lindsey decided to call it a night She had an early day of sailing the next day. Back in her hotel room, while setting her cell phone alarm for the next day, she realized that she missed several calls from her sister Rebecca, Jessie, and even her nephew Robbie, who called to wish her “happy sailing tomorrow.”

  Lindsey smiled to know that so many people cared about her. She sent them each a text to let them know she was still alive and enjoying herself. But, she refused the urge to find comfort outside of herself and continued her day of solitude.

  *****

  Sinking down into the comfort of her hotel bed, Lindsey realized that she wasn’t lonely. In fact, she thought, “I like my own company. I need to spend time with myself more often.”

  Lindsey had breakfast and was standing in the lobby at 6:45 am the next day. She scanned the lobby and saw couples, families, and large groups milling around, waiting to meet up with their instructors.

  In an instant, Lindsey felt like a freak because she had no one with her. “These people must be thinking that I’m a heartless, anti-social, bitch who can’t keep a man; to be going on a sailing adventure all by myself.”

  The loneliness was sinking in again, and Lindsey was trapped in a mental prison, one that she created herself. For truth be told, people barely noticed her.

  They were wrapped up in setting out on their own adventure. They too were feeling a little nervous about whether or not they looked stupid in what they were wearing, how they’ll perform on the boat, and all manner of other concerns. The little woman standing alone in the lobby barely registered a thought, if they noticed her at all.

  “Lindsey Grantham?”

  “Yes, I’m Lindsey,” she said crisply; snapping out of her self-disparaging thoughts.

  “Hi, I’m Randal Moore, but people call me Randy, I’ll be your instructor for the weekend.”

  “Hi, Randy, a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Same here, follow me and we’ll get started on your sailing training. So what made you decide that you wanted to learn how to sail?” Randy said as he led Lindsey out of the hotel lobby and toward the classrooms near the dock.

  Looking at Randy, a gorgeous, tall, muscular but slim, tanned, blonde, sailor that she’ll probably never see again after this weekend, Lindsey decided, to be honest.

  “I have a date with a guy that owns a sailboat and he thinks I know how to sail!” Lindsey said in a way that told Randy that she felt pathetic and desperate because of her reasons for wanting to learn to sail.

  Randy gently tou
ched Lindsey’s elbow and whispered. “Hey, don’t feel like you’re the only one. I’ve taught many men to sail after they posted an online profile that said they were sailors.”

  “Shut-up!” Lindsey said in utter shock and delight.

  “Many guys post photos in front of their buddy’s boat because they think they look handsome and adventurous. Then they attract a woman that sails or one that wants to learn to sail, and now the poor fella has to go out and actually become a sailor. It happens more often than you think Lindsey.”

  Lindsey giggled like a little girl and appreciated that Randy didn’t judge her, and how he made her laugh. Randy, feeling good about seeing his pretty student smile, said to himself; “this is going to be a good weekend. Teaching this woman to sail should be fun. As long as she doesn’t get all cranky when she’s tired and stressed.”

  As if reading his mind, Lindsey looks up at Randy and gives another little smile. She was contented with her assigned instructor.

  “She’s either going to be a whiny baby or a “ride-or-die chick”, who’ll be game for whatever, and roll with the punches,” Randy thought, returning his own smile.

  Lindsey walked quietly beside her handsome teacher, matching him stride for stride, unaware that he was sizing her up.

  “Please let her be a ride-or-die-chick because that whiny baby Michael that I had last week nearly made me want to give up teaching sailing.” Randy thought to himself.

  Having reached a fork in the trail leading from the hotel, Randy stopped where the road split.

  “So Lindsey, we’re at a fork in the road, and it’s up to you as to which road we take from here.”

  “I choose that one!” Lindsey enthusiastically said as she pointed to the road leading to the dock.

  Randy laughed hardily. “No, no,” he said. “I mean I decide which road you’re prepared to take from here, but I have to give you a pop quiz to make my decision.”

  “Right here?” Lindsey asked in a panic.

  “No pressure, but right here, right now—what do you call the front of the boat?”

  “The Bow,” Lindsey replied in a way that sounded more like a question.

  “The right, left, and back of the boat?”

  “Starboard, port, and stern,” Lindsey said more confidently.

  “What’s the name of the front sail?”

  “The jib.”

  “The back, larger sail and those colored strips hanging of the two sails?”

  “The mainsail and telltales.”

  “What would I say if I wanted you to let the sails out and in?”

  “I would use the line, not the rope, there are no ropes on a boat, to ease out the sail, or trim in the sail! Lindsey yelled while doing her happy dance. Confident that she was right.

  “Congratulations Lindsey, we’re going to bypass the classroom and go straight to the dock; your boat is waiting.” Randy beamed at his student.

  “Yes!” Lindsey said with a skip and a hop as she speed walked to boat number 11.

  “You’ll be learning to sail on this twenty-two-foot boat, called a J/22. It was introduced to the sailboat racing world in 1983 and since then it’s become a world class racing boat. Sail Newport and the University of Charleston have made it a very popular boat for teaching sailing and it’s a very safe boat.”

  “Okay sounds good”

  “The first thing you should remember is to always put on your Personal Flotation Device or PFD, you may know it as a life jacket or life vest. It doesn’t matter how well you can swim, always—safety first! Got it?”

  “Sir, yes Sir, Captain,” Lindsey said with a snap to attention and a really bad military salute, which garnered a laugh from Randy.

  Regaining his composure, Randy said; “here’s your self-inflating, low profile, life jacket. It allows you to move freely, but if you fall in the water it will automatically inflate. If for some reason it doesn’t just blow into this tube to inflate it manually.”

  “Okay?” Lindsey said as if to ask. “Why would I fall in the water and will something eat me if I do? How dangerous is sailing anyway?”

  “You look nervous all of a sudden, don’t be. I just have to go over safety precautions in case there’s an emergency, but there won’t be any emergencies. We’re going to be fine! Here’s a radio, it’s set to channel 17 to talk with those nice folks in that yellow building over there in the communications base. They keep watch over who’s where.

  Randy took Lindsey aboard the boat and continued his safety talk. Lindsey began to feel unsure that she could remember all of the information she was learning, so she repeated the important parts back to herself.

  “You’ll hear me talking to the communications base and them talking to me from time to time to keep an update on where we are. There’s also a GPS tracker in the boat and on my radio and both of our PFDs.”

  “If you say so,” a skeptical Lindsey said. It’s strange how safety briefings can make a person feel terrified of all the bad things that could happen.

  “Nothing bad will happen to us. I promise you’re safe with me. I’ve been sailing since I was two-years-old. I’m a certified instructor and a licensed captain, I’ve sailed in races all over the world and have even sailed around the world. I also did a stint in the Special Forces so you’re safe. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Good, because you freaked me out a little bit. The look on your face said I’m outta here, a minute ago.” Randy laughed as he helped Lindsey get into her PFD.

  “No, I’m okay, all of this safety stuff and seeing how big the lake actually is, made me a little scared, but now that I know I got Rambo for my sailing Instructor, I’m fine.” Randy laughed loudly at the Rambo reference to his military training.

  After getting a degree in business, Randy decided to do six years in the Army’s Special Forces; serving in both Afghanistan and Iraq. Aside from his fit physique, you wouldn’t know that he’s a lethal warfighting machine by his laid back demeanor.

  Lindsey did feel safe and liked Randy all the more. It was a warm day with a good breeze. Lindsey and Randy both were enjoying the day and the sailing. They took turns working each position on the boat.

  Lindsey started out controlling the jib sheet, with Randy on the main sheet and the tiller—steering the boat. After an hour they switched positions.

  Lindsey took to sailing like she’d been doing it her whole life. She felt strong, confident, in control, and exhilarated as she handled the boat. She loved the feeling of working with nature to carry herself, and Randy, where they wanted to go. By the time they trimmed the sails to eat lunch Lindsey, was feeling happy with her decision to learn to sail.

  “You’re a natural sailor Lindsey. I really hope that you continue to sail. You’re only forty-five-minutes away in San Antonio, you could come, rent a boat, and sail anytime you wanted to after today.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I think I do like sailing. This might be a hobby that I keep.”

  “Have you done anything like this before Lindsey?” Randy asked as he popped a forkful of kale and strawberry salad into his mouth?

  “Sailing, no, never.”

  “No I mean learned something new for a man you’re dating?”

  Dropping her head in shame, Lindsey said, “Unfortunately yes.” As she looked up to see Randy’s reaction to her answer.

  “Hey no judgment, I’m just taking the opportunity to learn a little something about women. You may have guessed it already, but I’m clueless about women. That’s kind of sad for a 41-year-old man. Don’t you think?”

  “No, not really—yes a little.” Lindsey sheepishly replied with a laugh. Randy laughed too at her almost tactful way of answering. “Women are complicated, just like me, Randy. We’re all doing our best to figure it out before we’re too old for it to matter.”

  “Are you getting the pressure from your family to get married and have babies? Because I sure am. I think at this point my mom wants a grandbaby so badly she wouldn’t care who I ma
rried.”

  “I think my mom still cares that I find the right man, so to speak, but she’s pretty desperate, and frankly so am I. I’m thirty-eight and I really want to have a baby and I’m running out of time. And I also can’t believe I just told you that.”

  “No worries. I’ll share something with you. I want to get married and have a family pretty badly too, but I can’t meet a woman that doesn’t want to change me into someone else.”

  “So what’s wrong with you that everybody wants to change?”

  Jessie laughed at Lindsey’s question.

  “Well I like making a living at teaching sailing, and three or four times a year I’m away from home for a few days or a month delivering boats that have to be sailed across the country or across the globe is the main problem.

  At times I make great money, but when the economy is down and people don’t have money for sailing and sailboats I have little to no income.”

  “Well that just means you have to have a larger nest egg than most people, but it sounds easy enough to live with.”

  “Well, women like stability and men who like to wear suits and have drive and ambition to move up in the world. I’m just happy to be alive and to have time to enjoy what life has to offer.”

  “You sound like a great guy Randy. So what’s wrong with you that you can’t keep a woman? You have a drinking or drug problem, PTSD, can’t get it up, are you a lazy jerk that lives like a slob, what?”

  “No, no, nope, and hell no!”

  “I think I just haven’t met a woman that likes what I have to offer. I’m no better and no worse than the average man. I’m sure I’d drive a woman a little crazy and she’ll drive me a little crazy but if we fight fair when we disagree we should be fine—just like my mom and dad. They’ve been married for thirty-five years.”

  “Wow, impressive, my parents just celebrated forty years. And you’re right about fighting fair. I think if two people always maintain love and respect for each other they’ll never go to bed angry and never hit below the belt when they disagree.”