by KB Winters
“In fact, I have some news to share,” he said and hopped up, taking long strides to the bedroom and back. I felt a kick in my stomach that I didn’t like and when he held up the leather vest, I knew.
“What the hell is that?”
He grinned, seemingly oblivious to my distress. “My cut. I’m a prospect for the California Outlaw Specialist. CAOS.”
I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. My heart beat so fast I couldn’t hear his words though I saw his lips moving. Then I felt it, bile rising in my throat. “You…what?”
His smile faded like I was the asshole raining on his parade. “You heard me Trina.”
“But I thought we talked about this Baz.” CAOS was a biker gang. Sure, they called themselves a motorcycle club but other than tinkering with bikes, they worked the wrong side of the law.
His expression morphed into a dark scowl. “No. You thought your word on my life was final. Well it ain’t, sweetheart.”
I couldn’t believe it, shaking my head as a wave of disappointment crushed me. “You said we’d talk about it again.” But obviously his word meant nothing. After two years together he’d gone and made this huge decision without me. Enough said. “Congratulations,” I told him and slid between him and the wall, making my way to the bedroom. The one I was pretty sure we wouldn’t be sharing for much longer.
“What’s the big fucking deal Trina?”
Unbelievable! I kept my back to him because I just couldn’t stand to look at him and see his anger. “The big fucking deal Baz, is that I love you. I am so in love with you that all I can think about is the life we could have. But when I see you in that vest with that patch, all I can see is pain and heartache and danger. I see my dad lying dead in the driveway because he owed the wrong person money he couldn’t pay back.”
When I closed my eyes, I could still see Dad lying there in the driveway beside our shitty two-tone blue escort with two holes in his chest and lifeless eyes staring up at me. Only this time it wasn’t Dad, it was Baz. And like the wimp I was, I cried and cried, shaking off his attempt to soothe me. “I can’t go through that again Baz.”
“Baby, I’ve survived way worse than what CAOS can offer up and I’ll survive this too.” He moved again to wrap me in his arms but I pushed him away because I knew the comfort he provided would have me caving in no time.
“I love you Baz, more than you know. But I can’t live through that again. I’m sorry.”
He let out a long sigh. When he spoke again, his voice was annoyed but I still didn’t look up at him. “This is happening Trina, get used to it,” he said. The sound of his heavy boots walking away told me he’d given up on this conversation. “We’ll talk more when you calm down.” The only sound that came next was the door slamming behind him.
I spent two days waiting for him to come home and he never did. That’s when I knew we couldn’t work it out. He was probably over at the compound fucking some random girl looking to become a biker babe, someone who would lie down to his way of life. And if my late period turned out to be more than stress, I knew I couldn’t live that kind of life.
I packed up my clothes, my pillow and a few kitchen essentials I’d need no matter where I landed. When noon came and went on the third day I got the message loud and clear. With all my worldly possessions loaded up in my six-year-old Camry, I slid behind the wheel, wiped away my tears and began to drive.
I never imagined I’d have to start over again, especially without Baz. Now I could only hope I wouldn’t end up like my dad, all alone and completely unequipped to raise a child.
Chapter One
Baz
Days like this I wished I still smoked. Nothing like sucking back a Camel to make shit like wedding menus a little less annoying. What the fuck did I know about weddings, anyway? Not one goddamn thing, that’s what. There had been a time—a long fucking time ago—that I thought about marriage. Hell, that there was a woman I’d actually wanted to spend forever with but she up and left without notice. That’s when I knew guys like me weren’t cut out for happy endings and forever, or any of that lovey dovey shit.
But Torch was my friend. My fellow brother in arms. Hell, he’d taken care of my kid sister Cherie when I was off fighting on behalf of corrupt politicians and the corporations who paid for them. So yeah, I owed him. And apparently wedding menus were how he wanted me to repay the debt. There was no use bitching about it any longer and since I didn’t have a smoke, I went inside Black Betty where I knew pretty much everyone.
“Want some coffee Baz?” Talon flashed a smile, her belly growing with her second child. She and Mick were the happiest parents I’d ever seen.
“Sure thing. And some of that chicken fried steak on special today,” I told her and took a seat in the middle of the counter. This time of day the place didn’t have any customers but a few old guys sat to my left and a kid played on my right. “How’s that baby treatin’ ya?”
She smiled bright, rubbing her belly. “Great, thanks. I’ll be right back.”
Talon was a good woman and a great fit for the club president, Mick. Though she’d come to Brently to claim her inheritance, she’d fallen for the man her father had treated like a son. She had an open mind when it came to the club and CAOS business. Unlike some other people. Where the fuck did that thought come from? I had no clue but I needed to get my shit together. It wouldn’t do me any good to start reliving the past.
“Hey Baz.”
“Hey Kyla, where’s your grumpy groom to be?”
She grinned and took a seat beside me. “He dropped me off in front and then went to park. Apparently, everyone is out and about today.”
The Founder’s Day parade would be held in about a week which meant committees were out decorating and setting up for the big event. A bandstand was being built in the park and soon the main drag would be filled with booths selling food, crafts, booze and other wares. “You forget what small-town living is like already?”
She laughed. “No but I kind of took it all for granted back then. It’s nice now though, knowing my kid will have the same kind of upbringing.”
“Yeah good for you guys.” I was happy for Torch, the same way I was happy for Mick and Cash and even our old prez, Roddick. They’d all found nice girls, women too damn good for them, and settled down. They were doing the whole wife and kids thing. I envied them, but I felt like I’d pissed away my chance at that life. “So, what are we doing here?”
“The table in the back is occupied so we wait.”
“Or we take another table?”
Kyla smacked her bag. “No can do. We need the space.”
I was about to tell her to spread that shit out right here so we could get it over and done with but something cracked my fucking elbow. “Shit!” Rubbing my funny bone, I turned ready to rip someone a new asshole, only it wasn’t just a someone. It was a kid with the biggest green eyes I’d ever seen.
“Sorry mister, it was an accident,” the little boy said as he shrank away from me.
That pissed me off. Clearly there was a man in this boy’s life who frightened him and I didn’t put up with anyone who beat women or kids. If that asshole was here I’d fuck him up. For the kid, I smiled and ruffled his hair. “Don’t worry about it little man, shit happens.”
He gasped. “You said a bad word.”
Shit, I had. “I’m a grownup so it’s okay.”
He grinned. “Okay. I’m Jack, what’s your name.”
“My friends call me Baz. Want to tell me what’s wrong with your car?”
He lifted up a shiny new remote-controlled race car. “The dang thing don’t drive right.”
That was a problem I could fix. “That’s easy. You just need a light touch. You ever played a video game before?”
“Uh-huh. Lots. But Mom doesn’t let me play the really cool ones.”
Which meant the violent ones. “Okay well what happens if you move the controller too hard?”
“It messes up.”
; “Exactly. Same here. You just need a light touch,” I took the remote and showed him, sending the car straight to the end of the counter, busting out a three-point turn and coming right back. “Now you try it.”
He did it without a problem and whooped loud, holding his little hand up for a high five. “I did it, mister! I did it! Thanks.”
“No problem kid.” Shit had I ever been that young? So trusting and carefree? “How old are you kid?”
“Ten. How old are you?”
I laughed at that. “Much older than ten. Where are your parents?”
“Mom’s back there getting some work done. I don’t know my dad though.”
Damn. Tough break.
“Hey Baz, you comin’?”
Torch called from the back and I hadn’t even noticed him enter. I nodded and turned to the kid. “I need to go help my friends, Jack. Take it easy kid.”
“Okay,” he sounded a little sad to see me go. “Thank you, Mr. Baz. Bye.”
Mr. Baz. No one ever addressed me so formally and I couldn’t help but smile. It’d been a long time since I spent any time with kids but that Jack was a good kid. Lost in my thoughts as I made my way to the big table in the back of Black Betty where Minx was huddled close to a head of shoulder-length strawberry blonde hair. “Hey Minx, what’s up?”
She looked up and smiled, glowing with the happiness of yet another pregnancy. I swear all these guys did was fuck. “Baz you devil, how’s it going? You here to help with the menus?”
“Yep. Torch guilted me into it, you?”
“I’m finishing up a job with a new client, this is-,”
“Trina?” I said the moment she turned and faced me. I’d never forget that face, beautiful and fresh with a sprinkling of freckles. I hadn’t seen her in more than a fucking decade after she’d skipped out on me.
“Baz,” she replied icily. She wasn’t happy to see me, that was for goddamn sure, but the question I wanted to know was why. She’d been the one who left. “If you’ll excuse us, we have some work to finish here.”
Dismissed. But not quite. “Actually, my friends have reserved this table so I believe your work here is finished.”
“Damn, Baz,” Minx chided, “don’t be an asshole.”
“He can’t help it,” Trina said, packing up her laptop and a bunch of papers. “It’s his way or no way at all. Thanks for your help Minx. Let me know a good time to go over the rest and just send me your bill.” She hoisted the big patchwork bag on her shoulder and handed Minx a couple books.
“Oh my goodness, thank you!” She pulled Trina into a hug. “I can’t believe you’re you. Wait until I tell Talon and Trudy, they’re going to shit a brick!” She squealed and—amazingly—Trina blushed. “We’ll get together again soon and you can meet some of the girls.”
Trina pulled a card from her pocket and scribbled on the back. “That’s my cell. Give me a call whenever and thank you, for everything.”
I watched her walk away with the same swing in her hips that had pulled me in twelve, or was it thirteen years ago when I’d seen her in that bar. Her hair was shorter now but she still smelled like fresh peaches and sunshine. Her legs were still long and lean under that denim skirt, and had more muscle than when we were younger. A pink blouse hid most of her figure but I could still make out the shape of those spectacular tits. Shaped just like teardrops.
“Okay, dude. I know there’s a story there and I want it,” Minx whispered with a little too much glee for my liking.
I grunted at Minx but I couldn’t take my eyes off Trina, heart stopping as she paused in front of Jack, who wrapped his hand around hers before they made their way to the door. He turned, pointed at me and said something to her before waving and Trina froze, quickly herding Jack out the door. Shit. Jack was her son? Trina was a mom. Probably had a husband too. Every fucking thing she ever wanted.
“I see you made quite the impression on Jack,” Minx said, amusement in her voice.
“Where’s the husband,” I asked finally turning to Minx even though the truth was I couldn’t give a fuck. Mostly.
“Husband? She never married.”
The last thing I wanted to hear and also the best fucking news I heard all day. “Fucking wedding menus,” I grumbled and took the seat Trina had just vacated.
Chapter Two
Trina
Baz was still in Brently. Hell, it was more of a shock he hadn’t died or ended up in prison over the past decade. But he looked more than alive. He looked hotter than ten types of sin and even I could admit he wore the sexy outlaw biker look like a second skin. If I hadn’t already known it, I would shake my fists at the universe about the unfairness of it all. Why couldn’t Baz have gone bald or gotten fat? Why was he still so damn sexy?
I knew I should have prepared myself for the possibility of seeing him again. Maybe I subconsciously wanted to see him?
Coming back to Brently made it very likely, and I guessed I’d done a good job of pushing any good thoughts of him far from my mind over the years. I could conjure up what an asshole he’d been in two seconds flat.
Two weeks after leaving Brently, I took a pregnancy test to confirm what I already knew when I pushed my Camry east, and far away from the man who broke my heart. I’d found a Planned Parenthood and got a blood test and I knew I’d made the right decision to leave. But now, seeing him and still being affected as though I was still a twenty-year-old girl, completely in love with him, I had to wonder.
No. I didn’t. With Baz’s lifestyle, Jack and I would always be at risk for whatever shit the club had gotten into. He didn’t know anything about Jack and for the time being, I wanted to keep it that way.
“Hey Mom did you see? That man with the tattoos on his body? I want one!”
They didn’t even know each other, neither knew about the other but already Baz had made an impression on my—our—son. “When you turn eighteen you can decide for yourself. But remember you’ll have to find a job to buy all the things your mean old mom won’t get for you.”
He laughed and as always, I was struck with how much he already resembled Baz. I could only hope he didn’t notice it too. “I’ll bet Mr. Baz has a job!”
Yeah, riding motorcycles and kicking up trouble, no doubt. “Well lucky for him I’m not his mother.” Thank fuck for that because I felt a lot of things towards Baz—love, hate, lust and even resentment—but not maternal. And now that I’d laid eyes on him, I regretted choosing Brently as my refuge even though I had my reasons and those reasons meant I needed to make sure Jack and I were safe. Specifically, one very bad reason and he would soon be released from prison.
“He was nice to me Mom even though I hit him with my car!”
And I knew how much that meant to my son. My ex, Jensen, had been nothing but dismissive of Jack from the moment they met. He was never mean or abusive but he pretended Jack didn’t exist. The first two times I thought it might just be the case of him trying to get used to being around a kid but by the fifth time it became clear he wanted me without a kid. Which meant he had to go. We’d had six good months before I let him meet my son and a month after we were done. Seven months of dating and the man had pretty much stalked me for next three years. If not for the fact the Feds caught him embezzling and trading illegally, he’d still be going strong.
But Jensen was in a white-collar prison, a country club, and he’d be up for parole soon which meant he thought we’d pick up where we left off. So like the strong, fierce, independent woman I was, I ran as fast as I could to the other side of the country. Home. Brently.
And smack into an entirely different problem. A six foot three, sexy green-eyed problem.
By the time I pulled into the driveway of our little ranch house with the blue and yellow shutters I didn’t feel much better about, hell anything. This would be our home for the foreseeable future with three bedrooms, it was perfect for us. A bedroom for each of us and an office for me. With no living family, there was no need for a guest room and I didn’
t anticipate having more children so we had more than enough room. Though I imagined when Jack began to make friends, sleepovers would make the place feel a lot smaller.
“Can I play outside Mom?”
“Sure. Just stay on this block sweetie. I’ll be in my office for a while.” My office, where I’d created the means to take care of my baby. When I first learned I was pregnant I worked twelve-hour shifts as a waitress and although I made good money, I knew it couldn’t be my future. So, I wrote a romance novel and got rejected by pretty much everyone.
Unwilling to let it go after I found a passion for it, I decided to self-publish under a penname. And while I waited for my millions to roll in, I put my own life on a budget and created Mommy’s Little Budget. It had been a constant struggle, finding ways to put money in the bank for bills, diapers and rent but then right around Jack’s fifth birthday it all sort of came together. An agent signed me and got me a book deal within six months and then she got my blog syndicated and sponsored which meant I didn’t have to buy a lot of necessities any longer. Jack had all the things a little boy could want or need, including a parent there for everything. We had a home of our own, we went on family vacations and weekend road trips. It was perfect.
Until Jensen.
Jensen—along with my desire to start dating again—had fucked it all up. He made my home feel like a prison. Made me afraid to answer my own phone. Leaving was the best thing for us both. Even if it meant seeing Baz regularly.
“Mom!” Jack let the door smack shut behind him, his growing feet smacking clumsily on the wood floors. “The man from the restaurant, Mr. Baz, is here. To see you!” Big green eyes gleamed and I had a feeling Jack was trying to play matchmaker.
Baz. The last person I expected on my doorstep. “I’ll be right there Jack.” So much for getting more work done. I’d already been at it over an hour, and I’d barely gotten two thousand words on my latest novel, Sins of the Hourglass, completed. That’s what nights were for, I reminded myself as I wiped nervous hands on my skirt and took a deep, cleansing breath.