by KB Winters
Now I was ready. To face my past. And there he was, sitting on my front porch like he belonged there, watching Jack perfect his skateboard tricks. “Baz. What are you doing here?”
Slowly he pulled his gaze from Jack and set those unforgettable emerald green eyes on me. And grinned. “I came to see you, Sweetness.”
Sweetness. God, I hadn’t heard that name in forever. He’d always called me that and I loved it, felt treasured because of it. What a lie it had been. “What do you want?”
“Cool kid,” he said instead of answering my question.
Yeah he was. “He’s the best. Now tell me what you want or leave.” I kept my expression and my tone neutral so Jack didn’t feel alarmed. Or threatened.
His gaze never left Jack and that’s when I felt it, that uneasy feeling I’d had when the Connecticut D.A. called to tell me Jensen would be up for parole in six months. That had been three months ago. I heeded it then but now it seemed to be too late. He watched Jack flip the board in a full rotation under his feet. “We have some things to talk about, don’t you think sweetness?”
“Oh yeah? Like what?” I didn’t think it would work but I hoped Baz was just fishing. He couldn’t have put it all together so quickly and even if he did, denial was my best friend.
He looked over his shoulder, blonde brows high in an expression that said it all. Really?
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Maybe we do but I don’t see what we’d possibly have to talk about. Even if we did—but we don’t—now is definitely not the time.” Not with Jack close enough to hear it all. “I’ll see you around Baz.” I had no desire to rehash that old fight, which I knew he was itching to do. I didn’t have time either, I had a book to finish and a blog to update.
This new life was mine and no one, not even Baz would derail it.
***
“You have a collect call from Osborn Correctional Facility from Jensen Murray, do you wish to accept the call?” The robotic voice sounded so benign, couldn’t possibly know how much fear she’d brought into my home.
“Hell no!” I hung up the phone, pulse pounding as I struggled to breathe. That call meant one damn thing. Jensen had found me. Jack and I had been back in Brently for a couple weeks and already Jensen had our location and number. Fuck my life.
“Mornin’ Mom! Can we have hash browns today? You make ’em the best!”
How could I look at that adorable face, peppered with freckles and resist? I couldn’t. I sautéed up some onions and bell peppers while I grated a couple of potatoes, listening to Jack tell me all about the book he’d just finished. “Breakfast will be ready when the bacon is done, better go and get dressed kiddo.” It was something I had to be careful with, working from home. I wanted Jack up and dressed for the day at a decent hour.
“Aww, Mom, do I have to?” But he scrambled off anyway because though apparently my boy hated taking showers, I knew he was excited about the day ahead. When he came back with damp hair all over the place, he grinned and poured himself a glass of milk. “What are we doing?”
“Eat up and I’ll tell you on the way.” He gave a quick pout but much like his father, he couldn’t resist the taste of apple smoked bacon. We ate mostly in silence, Jack trying to figure out what we were doing today and me trying to figure out if I should pack up and leave again or just change my number.
By the time we reached the community center I hadn’t made any decision other than finding something to keep my boy busy during the summer. And maybe make some friends. “I’d like you to be part of the reading club, keep your skills up. If you take it then you can choose something else.” Provided it didn’t cost too much and wouldn’t kill him.
His grin spread wide, slightly cocky just like another green-eyed devil I knew. Or used to know. “You mean I could sign up for rock climbing?”
“Rock climbing? Why on earth would you want to do that?”
“Because it’s cool.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes. After I’ve spoken with the instructor.”
“Next!”
I turned and my eyes went wide. “Trudy? Trudy Jacobs, is that you?”
Her eyes flashed with recognition and a smile lit up her face reminding me of the beautiful girl with the golden eyes I’d known in high school. “Oh. My. God. Trina Mosley? Girl you look exactly the same as the day we graduated high school.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah right. How are you?”
“Great. I’m still married but I’ve had another kid since you left town. My youngest will be twelve this year,” she said as her gaze slid to Jack who looked up at her with fascination. “And who is this handsome young man?”
“I’m Jack,” he said and offered up his hand, making me so proud.
“I’m Trudy and it’s nice to meet you Jack. How old are you?”
“Ten. How old are you?”
“Jack!” Why would he ask that?
“I’m just being polite Mom, asking about her.”
Trudy only laughed and dropped a hand on his shoulder, we’d become friends when she tutored me in freshman algebra so I knew she was running some quick calculations in her head. “I’m old enough that my youngest kid is older than you.” Trudy went back around the counter and looked at me. “I guess you’re here for summer activities?”
I let her and Jack go back and forth on activities because seeing Trudy, well it all just kind of came back to me. We’d been friends in school and spent time together when Baz started showing more interest in the gang.
“Mom are you listening?”
“No, but I am now. Tell me.”
He rolled his eyes as only a child could and repeated himself. “Reading club, rock climbing and kid mechanics.”
I slid a glance at Trudy who just smiled innocently. “Fine,” I told Jack because I didn’t want to explain to him why it might be a problem.
“I’m gonna learn how to fix cars Mom, isn’t that cool?”
Cool wasn’t the word I’d use but as we made our way to one of the classrooms I felt slightly nauseous. A tad apprehensive. “So cool,” I deadpanned as the door opened to reveal Baz leaning on the hood of a partially disassembled car.
“Mr. Baz are you in this class too?”
“Nah, I’m standing in for a buddy. Today I’m the teacher.” He flashed a bright wide smile, eyes full of mischief.
“Cool! Mom it’s Mr. Baz!”
And it was too late to do anything other than paste a damn smile on my face because I’d already handed Trudy my bank card and agreed to it all. “Yep.” Jack needed a chance to have some masculine influence in his life and interact with other kids his age, and this would be perfect. This, along with his other classes would help him make friends before school started in the fall which I guessed meant I was staying in Brently.
Because my life wasn’t fucking complicated enough.
Chapter Three
Baz
“Hey man, what’s up?” Cash strolled into the empty classroom wearing a big ass grin that said he’d woken up and loved his wife good and proper.
“Got a lot on my mind.” I was so focused on the new engine I didn’t even hear the fucker creep up on me. This shit with Trina had me all twisted up and though I had my suspicions, her denial pissed me off.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Are we gonna eat bon bons too and share a box of Kleenex?” I grinned over my shoulder and he punched my arm. “What the hell, man?”
“You obviously want to talk Baz, so stop being a fuckhead and tell me what it is so I can help.”
“You think you can help me?” I didn’t think anyone could help me and especially not a boy scout type like Cash.
“Won’t know until I hear it. Now stop bullshitting and just tell me what’s up.”
What the hell did I have to lose, right? Cash didn’t know shit of my history with her so I had to tell the whole damn story. Which I did. “There was a girl and we were good together. Like you and Minx good. But it was before CAOS and she didn�
�t approve when I got my cut, so she left. Now she’s back and she has a ten-year-old kid. And she’d left me eleven years ago. That leaves two options.”
“You’re worried she had your kid and didn’t tell you.”
“Yep.” I nodded, clenching my fists tight so I wouldn’t ruin any of the donated car parts.
“Or worse, the kid isn’t yours and she fell into someone else’s bed shortly after leaving town?”
“Fuck!”
“You could just ask her. It has been known to produce answers ya know.”
“You don’t think I fucking asked? She gave me a non-denial denial.” Which made me think she was hiding my son from me but the Trina I knew would never do that. She’d also never hop into bed with a stranger.
“Why would she lie? She had to know you’d still be in town.”
“That’s what I thought too. She said she didn’t think I was even alive anymore.”
“Shit.” His brows arched in surprise and Cash gave a sympathetic shake of his head. “She probably didn’t tell you because she didn’t think you were still around.” It wasn’t a question. “But now?”
“Now,” I sighed, “I need to know. The kid looks a lot like me but I’m fucking going out of my mind. Is he mine, or isn’t he? Why do I even give a fuck? Obviously, she doesn’t want me involved, doesn’t think I’m father material, so does it even matter? Do I even wanna do that to a kid? Get him all fucked up over who’s his daddy?”
“Wow.” Cash leaned back on the desk, legs crossed at the ankle with a smug fucking look on his face.
“What?”
“I knew you got a lot of pussy Baz, but I didn’t think you were one.”
I froze and glared at him. “Careful motherfucker. I can still kick your ass.” I was itching for a fight and Cash’s pretty little face would be the perfect punching bag.
And then the bastard chuckled. “I’ll give you one punch because honestly, a long-lost kid is some big shit, but then I’d have to pound your skanky ass into the ground old man. Minx likes my face just the way it is.” He batted his eyelashes like a broad and goddammit I laughed.
“You are one crazy son of a bitch.”
His smile stayed in place but those pretty boy eyes were deadly serious. “Give me an hour and her social and I’ll see whose name is on the kid’s birth certificate.”
“I don’t have it, but she’s staying in Cherie’s old place and she ended up in Connecticut. I have no fucking clue where she was when she had him.” If he was mine, that was just one more goddamn thing I didn’t know.
“Chill. I’ll get back with you at the end of the day.”
I gave a short nod. “Fine. Let’s get ready for the kiddies then. You can meet Jack.”
***
Trina was avoiding me and I had a feeling that the little blonde headed boy with the big green eyes who hadn’t left my side in two weeks was why. Jack though, was great. He had a shit ton of energy, asked plenty of good questions and quickly picked up the basics of auto mechanics. His hunger for male attention just confirmed that he hadn’t enough of it in his short life. The boy had to be mine no matter what Trina wanted me to believe. And now that Cash was looking into it for me, we could finally have that talk.
Cash had taken over the class, but I decided to stick around anyway because I wanted to ambush Trina before she could whisk Jack away. The little guy would be my ally even if he didn’t know it just yet. Waiting outside the community center, twenty minutes had come and gone and still Trina hadn’t shown up. “Where do you think your mom is?”
Jack shrugged. “She probably got lost in her work. She’ll be really sorry when she remembers.” His words were so matter of fact it kind of threw me.
“You don’t mind?”
“Nah. Mom’s great and usually when she gets like this I end up staying up late or watchin’ something I’m not supposed to.” His mischievous grin reminded me so much of my kid sister for a moment I had to take a step back.
My kid. Shit that was a huge responsibility and I wasn’t sure, even now, if I was ready for it. “Come on then, I’ll give you a ride home.”
Jack grinned when I set my helmet on his head, laughing when I picked him up and set him on the back of the bike. “I’m not gonna go fast but I still want you to hang on tight, all right?”
He frowned. “You’re not gonna go fast?”
“Nah. Your mom would kick my ass.” She might try, anyway.
He laughed. “She would yell at you until you wanted to cry but she wouldn’t hurt you. Mom says violence isn’t the answer unless you’re defending yourself.”
I bit back a response to that and hopped on, starting the engine and then we were off. I took the shortest route to the same house where my sister Cherie used to live before moving to Canada with the former CAOS president, Roddick.
It was fucking surreal. Coming here after the place sat empty for so long, now though it was kind of ironic that my past came back to this house. I cut the engine and helped Jack down. The kid had so much energy, bounding up the steps and pulling me inside.
“Mom! Mom! You forgot me again.” His voice carried through the silent house and I wondered if Trina was even there. But Jack stopped outside the door and knocked. “This is her office. I’m not allowed in here except for emergencies.” But I could tell the kid was impatient from his tapping foot to his huffing breath and he knocked again. “Mom!”
She pulled the door open with a sleepy-eyed frown. “Did class finish early?”
“Nope. You zoned out. Again.”
And just like that, tears welled in her eyes and she dropped down and wrapped the boy in a tight hug. “Oh God, sweetie I’m so sorry. Zelda called earlier and started making some changes to the story and I got wrapped up. Forgive me?” She smiled but it was uncertain.
It was clear to me Jack had been the man of the house for a long time as he touched Trina’s face. “Of course, Mom. No big deal.”
Then her gaze turned to me. “Thank you, Baz.”
“No problem, Sweetness.”
With his free hand, Jack grabbed mine. It was so damned tiny; how did kids ever survive this small? “Can Baz stay for dinner?”
Damn! I loved this kid. I didn’t even have to con my way into an invitation. Trina stared, preparing to say no and I lifted my brows in defiance. The rejection was poised on those lush lips of hers but suddenly she softened, her body relaxed as she nodded. “Baz would you like to join us for dinner?”
“Sure thing, Sweetness. Sounds fun.”
“It is,” Jack insisted excitedly, jumping up and down. “Mom is the best cook and I’m gonna be even better, won’t I?”
Trina nodded and gave him an indulgent smile. “I sure hope so then these old bones can let you do all the cooking,” she ruffled his hair. “How does lasagna sound?”
Jack gasped. “Oh Baz you are so lucky. I love lasagna!”
Seeing Trina as a mother was a trip. I still wanted to see her as the young girl who’d been head over heels for me but she was older. Wiser. A mother through and through. I couldn’t shake the anger in me that Jack had been without me all these years, but now wasn’t the time to deal with that. Later we would have a chance to talk. I would make sure of it. “What do you need me to do,” I asked when we all stepped inside the kitchen.
Trina stood still for just a moment, back facing me and Jack then she turned and began to move. “Jack, you shred the cheddars and Baz you can break up the tomatoes,” she ordered and set us both up on the table with everything we needed. “I’ll chop and sauté the onions, peppers and meat. Got it?”
“Got it,” Jack shouted back.
“Got it sweetness.”
Jack frowned. “Why do you call her that?”
“I used to know your mom a long time ago and that’s what I called her. Because she was so sweet.”
Jack laughed, picking up fingers of shredded cheese and sneaking it into his mouth. “Sweetness.”
Damn it kind of hurt to watch
them like this. They joked and worked together like a team that had been together for a while. It pissed me off but fuck it also made me feel warm inside. I just wanted to know why.
Thirty minutes later the lasagna was assembled and in the oven and we had time to kill. It was the perfect time to talk. Then the phone rang and Trina stiffened, distress written all over her face. Her posture. She bypassed the phone in the kitchen and ducked into the living room.
Jack rolled his eyes with a groan. “I’ll bet that’s Jensen. Again.”
A boyfriend? More importantly one Jack didn’t like, was interesting. And unlike Trina. “Who’s Jensen?”
Jack sighed and his shoulders slumped. “Mom dated him for a while but he didn’t like me all that much so she got rid of him but he won’t stop calling or showing up. He’s in jail for stealing from his company, but he still calls.” He leaned towards me, gaze on the doorway so I knew what he had to say would be juicy. “We moved away because he’s getting out soon but I think that’s him again.”
Shit. I wanted to ask another question. Hell, another fifty questions but the phone slammed down and soon Trina walked back in stiffly with a too bright smile slapped on. “Okay who’s ready for salad?”
“Make the dressing creamy and we have a deal,” I told her, enjoying the grateful smile she sent my way. Damn the woman could still knock me on my ass with a look. Big blue eyes as deep as the Pacific with a smattering of freckles on the bridge of her nose that gave her a deceptive innocence.
She frowned. “No can do. Only healthy homemade vinaigrette in this house.” She pointed at Jack when he groaned, drawing a smile from him. “It’ll be delicious or you can eat your salad dry.”
“Don’t do it,” Jack whispered with a grave expression on his face.
I could only laugh. Otherwise I might yell at Trina for all she’d deprived me of by leaving. By not bothering to inform me she was having my baby. “Fine. Vinaigrette it is.”
She flashed a smile and set a big wooden bowl in the center of the table while Jack grabbed bowls and silverware. “Dig in boys.”