by Toni Aleo
“Yeah, you say that a lot,” she snapped back before putting her helmet on. She looked up to see everyone watching. They all mirrored each other, wide eyes and gaping mouths. “What? It’s nothing. Don’t jump to conclusions.”
“Yeah, it’s none of you guys’ damn business anyway.”
“Then don’t make it their business. Shut up,” Jensen called to both of them as he skated toward them. But Brie couldn’t help it. She was pissed; he made her crazy!
“Yeah, because everything is a secret with you.”
Letting out a deep sigh, Vaughn put his helmet on and shook his head. “If you could give me a chance to explain, maybe we could squash this.”
“Or I can use your dick as a puck? I’d rather do that.”
“Why are you so mad? We never made any kind of promises or anything, so I don’t know why you’re being such a bitch to me.”
Turning to him, she pointed her stick at him as she glared. “Because you led me on, you son of a bitch!”
“But I didn’t mean to—”
“For God’s sake, shut up, you idiots!” Jensen yelled, blowing his whistle loudly. Coming between them, he shook his head. “Everyone is watching, everyone can hear you, and no one needs to hear this. If this is something you two need to do, do it in private.”
“I’d rather kill him instead.”
Jensen set Brie with a look. “That’s not an option.”
“If I win, you have to talk to me,” Vaughn insisted.
She laughed loudly, meeting his hopeful gaze. “No.”
“What? Scared I’ll win?”
“No, I know you won’t. But the fact is, there is nothing you can say to make this better.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Just stop.” Shaking her head hard, she pointed to Russell. “Let’s go.”
She skated toward the face-off circle where the puck waited. Vaughn followed, and she felt stupid. She shouldn’t have let him get under her skin like that. She shouldn’t have done that there. No telling what Russell would say later, and what if he told Elli? Damn it, what if she fucked up? Vaughn just drove her senseless, and she couldn’t think right when it came to him.
Damn it.
“I win, we talk. You win, I leave you alone.”
“No.”
“I know you. You like stakes like this.”
Holding his gaze as Jensen picked up the puck, she let out a long breath. “You hurt my heart. I refuse to allow you to do it again.”
His eyes turned sad as Jensen blew the whistle. Vaughn’s eyes were on her, so she grabbed the puck, skating backward with ease as he watched her while she played with the puck. As he skated toward the goal, his eyes stayed on hers, which she took to her advantage before she shot hard with a wrister. But it missed the goal, by an inch. Everyone in the stands groaned loudly as they both dug in for it. Getting to it at the same time, they fought in the corner, their sticks crashing as their bodies pressed into each other.
She could feel his heat in her bones, but she wouldn’t let that distract her. Slamming her stick into the puck and his stick, she freed it and stole it from between his legs. She rushed to the line where she could shoot. The little ding of a goal made a smile spread across her face as everyone hollered out for her. When she looked to Vaughn, though, he wasn’t mad; he was grinning as he came to meet her in the circle.
“Sneaky.”
“I play for keeps.”
“I see that.”
“And I refuse to allow you to win.”
“Why don’t you take my deal, then?”
“Because I don’t need a damn deal never to talk to you again except when I need to.”
“That’s fine because I don’t need a damn deal to get you to talk to me.”
Her eyes widened as the puck dropped, but when she went to get it, he passed it through her legs, going around her with ease before taking it and clinking it to the pipe, much to everyone’s dismay. Skating toward her, he pointed his stick at her. “You play for keeps, and so do I.”
“You don’t play well enough, though,” she said just as Jensen dropped the puck. Instead of going around him, she passed the puck up the side before chasing after it, but she heard him behind her. His stride was longer than hers, and he got there first, taking the puck. But when he shot, with a clean angle at the pipe, she blocked it. Boy, did it sting right in the spot where there was no padding. His eyes widened as he stopped immediately. “Are you okay?”
Taking the puck, she shot it, hitting the pipe. “Just fine.”
He shook his head, heading back to the circle as they waited for the puck. “Okay, I’m done letting you win.”
She scoffed, a grin covering her face. “Sure you are.”
The puck dropped, and they both went after it, wrestling in the middle. He somehow got it out, rushing to the goal with ease, but she was gassed. She hadn’t played in a while, but she dug in, throwing her stick out, blocking his shot. Unfortunately, that move also knocked her stick out of her hand, which gave him the chance to score with ease.
“So, here we are, tied, two-to-two. I have to say, Ms. Soledad, I’m impressed.”
Holding Vaughn’s heated gaze, she laughed. “I have to admit, I’m not. I thought you were better.”
As the puck dropped, she yanked it away from him and threw it hard to the net, but it went wide, bouncing off the Zamboni door and right onto Vaughn’s stick. She was too far from him, and probably to taunt her, he wristed the hell out of the puck and it smacked dead center on the pipe. Glancing back at her, he pulled his helmet off. “Is that good enough for you?”
She lost.
Damn it.
Turning to the camera, she smiled big as she pulled off her helmet. “Well, can’t win them all. But hey, make sure to get out and learn some hockey. One day, you can be like us! I’m Brie Soledad, and thanks for tuning in.”
“Cut,” Russell said, and Brie started for the bench. “I’ll have to cut a lot of the talking, but it was good. You’re good, Brie.”
“Fuck you, Russell,” she snapped before walking off and down into the tunnel.
She was going to get in trouble for that, but the farther away from Vaughn, the better. She didn’t understand the game he was playing. Why was he still talking to her? Why was he still spitting his game? She told him no, and she meant no. Yet, she wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe that she wasn’t an idiot and that there was a good guy in there, but she didn’t want a fixer-upper kind of guy. She wanted the guy who was going to be there for her, as she would be there for him. She wanted the guy who would love her until the end of her days, not someone she had to beg to love her. Vaughn would be a fixer-upper. She wasn’t sure what had happened, and in a way, she didn’t want to know. The sob story would surely pull at her heartstrings, and then she would give in, taking on the fixer-upper she didn’t want. She just didn’t want to do that.
Though, she still wanted him.
And that alone had her more confused than she could ever explain.
After showering and then getting some food, Brie headed home, unsure how to take all the events that had transpired. She went through everything Vaughn said, and it just didn’t make sense. If he didn’t want a relationship and didn’t do relationships, then why in the hell was he saying he missed her or that he wanted to talk to her. He thought he was cute, trying to get her in that wager, but she knew it would be nothing but trouble. He was nothing but trouble, but she couldn’t shake him. These feelings, these drowning feelings, were killing her, and she had no clue what to do with them.
How did this happen?
Why did this happen?
When she said she wanted a relationship, she really wanted it to be two-sided. But maybe that was her life. A life full of one-sided relationships. God, she was so pathetic. The only good thing coming out of this day was that she hadn’t gotten in trouble with Russell. He just wished her a good day, much to her surprise.
Sighing, she opened her door, ig
noring the cries from Tricksie across the hall as she shut the door. If she didn’t, she’d be sneaking treats under the door, and she was sure Vaughn was home. He had left before her, and she just couldn’t face him, not now. Hell, probably not ever.
Was why her life such a mess?
After sitting down on the couch with an armful of mail, she let it fall to the table before she opened her container of Chipotle. She wasn’t that hungry, but she figured she needed to eat after her shitty performance on the ice. If she were smarter, she would have played better, but he’d gotten under her skin and she’d sucked.
Damn it.
Taking a fork full of food, she went to take a bite, but then she saw an envelope with the NateWay Two return address on it.
“What in the world?”
Reaching for it, she opened it quickly, pulling out a single sheet of paper. It was from the billing department of NateWay, and when she saw the balance at the bottom of the page, her heart stopped.
“That motherfucking son of a bitch.”
When Vaughn and Jensen exited the elevator on their floor, Brie’s voice carried down the hall. “Open the fucking door! I know you’re in there.”
Pausing, they both glanced at each other as Jensen shook his head. “Oh, that does not sound good.”
“Nope, not at all.”
“You should have let her win.”
“She’d still be pissed,” Vaughn decided as he started around the corner to see her banging on his door, her face so damn red, as Tricksie went crazy on the other side. “Hey, you’re scaring my dog.”
Her eyes went wide as she huffed in a deep breath and let it out. Stomping with all her five-foot, one-inch glory, she went toe-to-toe with him before holding a piece of paper from NateWay up in his face, her knuckle connecting with his lip. He wasn’t sure if she had done it on purpose, but before he could ask, she was screaming. “You promised! You told me it would cost me nothing! You looked me in the eye and promised. But then, what do I expect? You promised you wouldn’t hurt me ever again, and that was a fucking lie. I don’t have this kind of money, and it makes me sick that you are charging me now. Why? Because I won’t fucking sleep with you? I have to sleep with you to have my brother in your community? Well, guess what, fucker? I’ll go sell myself to someone else because you’ll never get in my pants ever fucking again!”
“Jesus,” Jensen breathed as he shook his head, going around her. “You two are on your own. I’ve got a headache.”
Looking at the paper, ignoring both of them, Vaughn shook his head. “Brie—”
“No! You are a fucking piece of motherfucking—”
“Brianna!” he yelled, cutting her off. “If you would have read the whole page, right here,” he said, turning it around to show her, “it says, ‘This is not a bill.’ They send this for your records. We do it for everyone.”
Her eyes met the paper as her shoulders dropped and her breathing started to slow. “What?”
“Yeah.”
Biting on her lip, she reached for the paper and nodded. “Sorry to bother you.” But when she turned, he took ahold of her arm, which she shook out of his hold. “I told you not to touch me.”
“I want to talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said, louder this time as she started to walk off, but he followed.
“You just attacked me in the hallway. You owe me at least two minutes.”
“No, I don’t,” she threw back at him as she entered her apartment. She went to slam the door, but he blocked it, pushing it open. “Don’t make me call the police on you.”
He groaned. “Yeah, don’t do that.”
“Leave.”
But he didn’t move. Ignoring her command, he said, “I would never ever go back on my promise about Rodney. He will live at NateWay for free for as long as he wants.”
She held his gaze. “So you only lied about hurting me?”
“I didn’t lie,” he said, holding his hands up. “I fucked up. I did. You’re right, I can say sorry until I’m blue in the face, but it won’t change anything.”
“You’re right about that.”
“But I am. I’m so fucking sorry. I fucked up. I did lead you on, and I never meant for that to happen. But, Brie, I’m fucked up, and I should have been honest with you since the beginning. I wasn’t because I didn’t know what I felt. I wanted you so damn bad, but I thought I didn’t want a relationship. And then, I don’t know, it all just blew up in my face. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you, but I did. And I’m sorry, so incredibly sorry for that.”
She just looked up at him, her little chin tipped up as her eyes held his. With a shrug, she whispered, “Vaughn, please, just leave me alone.”
“No, come with me.”
Her face wrinkled up. “Not even no, but fuck no.”
He held his hands out, his heart pounding in his chest. He had never wanted something as badly as he did at that moment. “You know I didn’t intentionally hurt you, don’t you?”
She hesitated, shaking her head as she looked away. “That doesn’t change the fact that you did.”
His heart was in his throat and he didn’t know what he was doing, but he had to do something. “I know, but can you give me some of your time? I don’t want promises, I don’t want to try to convince you about me otherwise. I just want to share something with you.”
“Lies?”
“No, the truth.”
“The truth about what?” She was annoyed. He could see that all over her face, and he didn’t blame her. He’d fucked her over. But he needed this chance. He wanted this.
“About me.”
“You?”
“Yeah, you don’t owe me anything, and I owe you more than you realize because I’ve been a douche to you. I can’t begin to apologize, but please, just give me some of your time.”
“I don’t know, Vaughn,” she said as an exhale. “I said I didn’t want this. I don’t want a fixer-upper guy, if that’s even what you’re offering. I mean, Jesus, do you hear me? I’m still wanting you, and that’s not fair. I’m so fucking pathetic.”
“No, you’re not.”
Her eyes filled with tears as her lips started to twitch from her trying to hold them back, and she wrapped her arms around herself. Taking a step toward her, he reached for her, bringing her into his arms. She didn’t go willingly and he was worried she’d try to hit him, but she didn’t. She just held herself as he held her. It felt beyond amazing to have her in his arms once again. He knew he missed her, but nothing could have prepared him for feeling her again like that.
Kissing the top of her head, he whispered, “I just need a bit of your time.”
Covering her face, she wiped away her tears and shook her head. “If I go, it doesn’t mean anything. Just that I’m nosy, and hopefully, whatever you want to tell me will give me some kind of closure. Who knows? I’m an idiot.”
He didn’t want closure, not even a little bit, but he said, “Okay.”
“And if you try something, I’ll kick you.”
“I know.”
“And I want food since my Chipotle is cold.”
“Done, I’ll get you some pizza.”
“I do love pizza,” she muttered as she moved out of his arms, grabbing her jacket.
“I know, I do too.”
She ignored that, walking past him to grab her keys and wallet. He walked out first as she followed, locking the door. They walked in silence, neither of them willing to start talking as they headed downstairs and into his car. When Johnny Cash started to croon on the radio, he noticed that she smiled. “Rodney sounds like Johnny Cash when he sings.”
Vaughn grinned. “Does he?”
“Yeah, it’s amazing.”
He hesitated. His heart ached, but he wanted this. She was the reason he wanted to change, to become the person he was inside. So as his lips started to move, he found his eyes drifting shut. “Nathan loved Johnny Cash. It kept him calm when he’d have episodes. S
o, now, it keeps me calm, and it’s all I listen to in the car.”
When he opened his eyes, he looked over to find her watching him. She looked so small in his car, but when she smiled, all he saw was beauty. “It’s nice to have stuff like that to hold on to.”
“Yeah,” he said as he started the engine and pulled out, heading toward NateWay. They rode in silence. She kept her eyes out the window, and he stole glances every chance he got. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen when he got out there, and his heart hadn’t slowed. He hadn’t thought this through; he just knew he had to do it. He had to tell her the truth. She deserved it. Before they got to NateWay, he stopped by the pizzeria and ran in for a hot-and-ready with two bottles of water. Getting back in the car, he handed it to her and she opened the box.
“Good job. Sausage is my favorite.”
“I know, I’ve seen you eat it.”
She smiled. Though, he knew she didn’t want to. With a smile of his own, he pulled out, and when he turned into NateWay, she shook her head. “I don’t want Rodney seeing us together.”
He shook his head. “We aren’t going anywhere near the main house.”
Pulling through the gate after putting in the code, he entered the property and then pulled off the road by the trail. When his phone rang, he laughed. “It’s Dawn.”
When he answered, Dawn said, “I didn’t know you were coming.”
“I’m not. I going to Nathan’s spot.”
“Oh, okay, honey. Love you.”
“Love you.” Hanging up, he shut the car off and then took the pizza from Brie. “We have to walk from here.”
She only nodded as she got out of the car, and they started down the trail. It was chilly, but they both had bundled up pretty well. He hoped the sun was shining down on his spot. As they entered the woods, Brie looked over at him. “Taking me out here to kill me?”
He laughed. “Nah. Not today,” he said with a wink, and she rolled her eyes, a grin playing on her lips.
It took another five minutes before they came to another set of gates. They weren’t locked, though, and he pushed them open, letting her in first. When she saw the pergola and the garden that was covered in rose bushes, her breath caught and he smiled. In the middle of the enclosed area sat a birdbath with a beautiful statue of a woman holding a child. Vaughn knew that inside the bath it said, “For Freya and Nathan Johansson.” Flower bushes were everywhere, though they weren’t blooming at this time of year.