The Joy of Christmas

by Melody Carlson

  Finally it was nearing midnight and the crowd was still going strong, but I noticed that Liam had taken a break. And so I decided this was a good time for me to call it a night. I didn’t want to leave, but I knew Mom had made her sacrifice in coming here tonight. I could make mine by leaving early.

  But when I went to look for her, she wasn’t in the chair. Neither was Mrs. Flanders. Maybe they’d gone off together, although that seemed unlikely. So I got a bite to eat, then looked around for Mom, but didn’t see her anywhere. Had she called a taxi and gone back to the hotel by herself? And, if so, why didn’t she let me know? I decided to see if I could find Liam, perhaps I could use his phone to call the hotel. But I didn’t see him anywhere either. Finally I spotted Margaret, adding some more rum to the punch.

  “Have you seen Liam?” I asked.

  She glanced around. “No, but he might be in the library. He sometimes takes a break in there.” She pointed to a hallway near the stairs. “Second door to the left.”

  I thanked her and headed in that direction, pausing by what I thought was the door to the library. Other than a slit, it was mostly closed, but I could hear voices talking quietly – male and female. I strained my ears to hear better, unsure as to whether I wanted to interrupt or not, when I realized it was Liam talking to my mother. I couldn’t quite make out the words, but there was a sound of urgency in Liam’s tone. And it almost sounded as if my mother was crying, which worried me.

  I actually leaned over now and, feeling like a snoop or maybe just a kid trying to sneak a peek at Santa, I peered through the crack just in time to see Liam taking my mother into his arms – and she was not resisting – and kissing her with such force and passion that I had to look away. There was only so much that a son wants to know about his mother’s love life. Besides I knew this was a private moment.

  But I retreated back to the kitchen feeling just slightly victorious. Of course, this didn’t really make sense. But somehow I felt just a little responsible for reuniting my two parents like this. If it hadn’t been for me, Mom never would’ve come to Ireland. If we hadn’t come to Ireland, we never would’ve met Liam.

  “Did you find Liam?” Margaret asked as I returned to the punch bowl.

  “Yeah.” I studied her for a moment, wondering how she was going to take this new development.

  “Were they together?” she asked as she ladled out some punch. “I mean your mother and Liam?”

  I blinked. “You know?”

  She shrugged. “I’ve known for years, Jamie.”

  “Seriously?”

  She took a sip of punch, then nodded.

  “How did you know?”

  “For starters, I’d have to swear you to secrecy.”

  I held up my fingers in the old pledge. “Scout’s honor.”

  “Can I really trust you?”

  “Yes,” I urged. “Now tell me what it is that you’ve known for years.”

  She let out a big sigh. “That if Colleen ever walked back into Liam’s life . . . well, let me just say that I’ve always known that he never quit loving her.”

  “And you’re okay with that?”

  She nodded with misty eyes. “Liam is a very good friend. How could I not be happy for him? Colleen was the love of his life and he thought he’d lost her forever.” Then she threw her arms around me. “And you, young man, are one of the most amazing young musicians that I’ve had the pleasure to meet. Has your father talked to you about attending university here in Galway yet?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Well, he should!”

  17

  Colleen

  On the day after Christmas, also Saint Stephen’s Day and an Irish holiday, I stood in the relatively quiet Dublin airport by myself. I felt surprisingly torn about leaving Ireland. But I felt even more torn that I was leaving my son behind. Of course, I was glad that he wanted to finish college, even if it was in Galway, halfway around the globe from our home in Pasadena. And I’d been especially touched when he told me that he also planned to get a job. “I want to pay you back for what I wasted on my phony education,” he told me over breakfast yesterday. Now my first instinct had been to say no and that the debt was forgiven and not to worry about it, but on second thought, I wondered if this was something he needed to do – another step in becoming a man and a responsible adult. So I bit my tongue and hid my motherly pride.

  But I missed Jamie more than ever just now as I waited to board my plane. The idea of going home – alone like this – was overwhelming and nothing I had ever imagined when I started this trip, oh, a lifetime ago. Still, I reminded myself, it was time for me to accept my independence. I didn’t need anyone to hold my hand. I was a grown woman and perfectly capable of carrying my own bags, sitting on a plane by myself, catching a taxi back to the house, making plans for my future . . . even if that meant I would be the only one in the picture. And, after all, I did have God to lean on. I wasn’t really alone.

  “But what about Liam?” Jamie had demanded in my room just last night, right after I’d informed him of my plans to go home on the regularly scheduled flight. For some reason he’d gotten the idea that, like him, I planned to extend my visit.

  “What about Liam?” I had calmly asked as I carefully packed my bags.

  “He loves you,” he said. “Don’t you love him?”

  I smiled patiently at my son. I knew he meant well. “This really isn’t your problem, Jamie.”

  “But I saw you kissing on Christmas Eve,” he confessed.

  I blinked back surprise. “You were spying on us?”

  He nodded sheepishly. “Sort of. I mean I hadn’t meant to, but I did see you two together. And it looked pretty obvious that you were both in love.”

  “I’d had too much of that Irish punch,” I told him. “I was impaired.”

  “That wasn’t the case, Mom.”

  “Jamie, I know it’s every child’s hope that his parents would be in love and stay in love and that everyone would live happily ever after, but it can’t always be like that.”

  “But Liam does love you.”

  I studied Jamie closely. “How do you know that? Has he told you that?”

  “No, he hasn’t said that, not in so many words. But I know it’s true. I have my reasons to believe it’s true. You have to trust me on this, Mom.”

  I turned my attention to the folding of my red velvet dress, the same dress I’d been wearing that night. And I had to admit that I had felt that way too. I had honestly believed that Liam did still love me – especially on Christmas Eve, when we had kissed. But he had never said so. Consequently, I hadn’t told him how I felt either. Although it seemed obvious that night – to me anyway. But then Jamie and I had left. And then there was the next day. And there was Margaret.

  On Christmas Day, when we got together with Liam and some of his friends again, he privately admitted to me that Margaret had been in his life for years – and even that she had recently been pushing him toward marriage. He seemed very confused and uncomfortable with all this. He didn’t say it, but I felt that I was an interruption, a distraction, and an inconvenience. And, after all, Liam had known Margaret much longer than he’d known me – they’d spent years and years together. Simply because Liam and I had made a son together didn’t mean that we were meant to be together. And then I’d seen how compatible he and Margaret appeared to be – so much in common with their music, their lives, and Ireland. And she was so beautiful. How was I supposed to compete with that?

  “You can’t leave, Mom.”

  “I’m sorry.” I turned and faced him with a firm chin. “But I have to go home. For one thing, I have the house on the market, and the last time I spoke to the realtor, right before Christmas, she thought she had a buyer for it.”

  “Great,” he said. “Sell the house. But why do you have to go home to do that?”

  “It’s the mature and responsible thing to do,” I explained as I rolled a pair of stockings.

  And so, as I stoo
d there so carefully dressed in my Donegal suit with matching shoes and handbag, waiting for my flight to begin loading, I thought I was being remarkably responsible and mature. Or at least I looked that way. Despite how I felt inside, I wasn’t crying or fretting or fuming or any other childish thing. I was simply waiting to get on my plane and go home. And, once I got home, I would begin to sort out my life again. Perhaps the house would be sold by then. Maybe I would find that little cottage near the beach after all. And who knew, I might even get a job. The possibilities were endless.

  “Colleen?”

  I didn’t turn at the sound of his voice. Not immediately, anyway. But my stomach grew fluttery and there was a catch in my throat as I slowly pivoted and faced him.

  “Liam.” I studied his eyes, trying to read what was behind them. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Is it Jamie?”

  He took a tentative step toward me. “Jamie is fine.”

  “Oh . . .”

  “It’s Jamie’s father who is having trouble.”

  “Jamie’s father?”

  “Yes, Colleen. I am perfectly miserable.”

  “Oh . . .”

  “I can’t let you go like this.”

  “Like what?”

  “I can’t let you go without telling you the truth first.”

  I nodded now, bracing myself for the worst. Perhaps he and Margaret had gotten engaged last night, after Jamie and I had left. Perhaps Liam felt that the mature thing for him to do was to come here and tell me this news in person. Maybe Jamie had said something to make Liam think that I would need to know. “Yes?” I heard my voice shaking.

  “I love you, Colleen.”

  I blinked, then stared, unable to speak. Had I heard him correctly?

  “I never quit loving you.”

  “But why didn’t you say something . . .”

  He held out his cane. “I don’t like to talk about it, Colleen. It’s hard to admit . . . but being a man with one leg, well, it’s not been easy. To be honest, it’s probably one of the main reasons I never asked Margaret to marry.”

  I sucked in a quick breath. “So, you would’ve asked her?”

  He nodded then sighed. “Yes. I probably would’ve.”

  “Why don’t you ask her now?”

  “Because I don’t love her. Not like this.”

  “Oh . . .”

  “I love you, Colleen.” He peered at me with those intense blue eyes. “And are you going to just hang me out to dry now? Do you have nothing to say?”

  I took a step toward him, our eyes still locked. “I love you too, Liam. I always have. I always will. I never quit loving you.”

  Then he took me into his arms and held me tight. “Please, don’t go.”

  “But I need to take care of things back home,” I began meekly. But suddenly he was kissing me, his lips pressed into mine with passion and intensity – the kind I had longed for since that November of 1941. And in that moment I felt both lost and found, and without holding back, I returned his kiss.

  “Please, don’t go,” he said again. “Stay here and marry me, Colleen.”

  I almost said no, not now. I almost told him that I needed to go back to Pasadena and that I needed to take care of business – that I needed to be a grown-up and to sell my house, that I needed to store my furniture, that I needed to tell my sister the good news, and I almost told him that we should wait – but I stopped myself.

  “Yes!” I said with excitement. “I will stay here and I will marry you!”

  His brows shot up with surprise. “You will? You really will?”

  “Of course! You don’t think I’m going to make the same mistake twice, do you? I’m not taking any chances this time. Yes, I will marry you! ”

  Then he took my right hand in his and carefully removed the silver ring that Jamie had given me for Christmas.

  “What?” I frowned and felt slightly worried.

  “Now you must wear the Claddagh like this.” He took my left hand and slipped the ring onto my ring finger with the point of the heart aiming toward me. “Worn like this means your heart is taken.”

  I nodded. “You took it long ago, Liam.”

  “Let’s go get married!” he said as he pulled me close for another long kiss.

  “You just name the day and the time, and I will gladly marry you, Liam O’Neil.”

  “Let’s go round up a preacher.” He grinned down at me. “And I know a certain young man – a man who’s waiting outside in my car right this minute – who will be extremely happy to hear about this.”

  I grabbed Liam’s hand. “Let’s go tell him!”

  ALL

  I HAVE

  to

  GIVE

  1

  “Do you think Michael’s experiencing a midlife crisis?” Anna mused as she dipped a serving bowl into the sudsy water. She and her younger sister Meredith were cleaning up after a Thanksgiving dinner that Anna had hosted for her extended family. It was the first time she’d entertained this many people at one time, but the meal had gone relatively well, especially considering twelve people had crowded into their rather small dining room. The food had been reasonably palatable, and the table, which was actually a piece of plywood secured to a pair of sawhorses and hidden beneath a tablecloth Anna had sewn, had been elegantly set. Although Anna was now rethinking her choice to use Great-Grandma Olivia’s Meissen china. She hadn’t considered that, thanks to the elegant gold-leaf trim, all twelve place settings and the numerous serving dishes would need to be hand washed.

  “I think your hubby is too young for a midlife crisis,” Meredith said with her typical skepticism. “I mean, what is he . . . like, thirty-seven?”

  “Thirty-eight in January.”

  “Even so, that seems pretty young for a midlife crisis.”

  “Maybe he’s mature for his age.”

  Meredith laughed as she carefully dried a platter. “Okay, what’s really going on here, Anna? Trouble in paradise?”

  Anna sighed as she scrubbed some stubborn gravy from a dinner plate. “No, we’re okay. It’s just that Michael has seemed sort of distant lately . . . but then he’s been putting a lot of overtime into this new business, and, oh, I don’t know – I guess I’m probably just obsessing.”

  “Meri?” Todd called from where the guys were huddled in the nearby family room, cozily gathered around the TV in their usual holiday ritual. “I hear the baby crying.”

  Meredith rolled her eyes at Anna as she hurried to dry her hands. “Todd hears Jackson crying, but he can’t get off his duff and go pick up his own son?”

  “And I’m guessing the womenfolk can’t hear him.”

  “Not over the roar of that ball game.” Meredith tossed the towel aside. “Sorry to bail on you, sis, but it is Jackson’s feeding time.”

  “No problem.” Anna ran some hot water into the sink, preparing for the next go-round. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Want me to send Celeste in to take my place?” Meredith’s tone was teasing now.

  “That’s okay,” Anna said quickly. “I can handle it.”

  Meredith chuckled. “You just don’t want to hear our sister-in-law going on again about how ‘our big new house will be oh so perfect for a great big ol’ Thanksgiving dinner.’ ” Meri even had the southern accent down just right.

  Anna smiled at her sister, then nodded. She didn’t add that she was also getting tired of hearing her sister-in-law complain about how none of her size-two clothes fit her anymore. “I can’t believe I’m only three months pregnant and I’m going to have to go out and get maternity clothes,” she had whined when she’d seen the pumpkin and apple pies Anna had made for dessert. What Anna wouldn’t give for that kind of wardrobe challenge! It seemed such a small price to pay in exchange for a baby. But Anna didn’t want to go there today. She also didn’t want any more help in the kitchen. It was barely large enough for two people anyway.

  She held the clean plate up to the window now, allowing the afternoon ligh
t to come through the china’s translucent surface. “You can tell it’s fine china when you can see daylight through it,” Great-Grandma Olivia had told her more than thirty years ago, back when Anna was a little girl and had admired the lovely set. With pink rosebuds and gold-leaf trim, Anna couldn’t imagine anything more beautiful. Of course, her tastes had changed somewhat as an adult, but she still felt honored that her great-grandmother had chosen Anna, as the oldest granddaughter, to bestow this treasure upon. “Glad it’s you and not me,” Meredith had admitted ten years ago when Anna had gotten engaged to Michael and received the china as a pre-wedding gift. “I’m sure not into pink rosebuds.” Anna had appreciated the china even more when Great-Gran passed on shortly before her wedding. The sweet old woman had been ninety-six and still living in her own little house when she’d died in her sleep. Although saddened that Great-Gran had missed her wedding, Anna had thought it was a lovely way to go.

  “I’ll bet you could use a hand,” Donna said as she came into the kitchen. Donna was Anna’s stepmother, but she’d been in their lives for so long that Anna and her siblings had pretty much accepted her in the role of mom, although Anna still called her by her first name. “I didn’t realize that Meredith wasn’t in here still.”

  “She’s feeding the baby. But you can dry if you want.” Anna rinsed the last plate and set it in the drainer. “I’m going to start getting things ready for dessert now.”

  “It was a lovely dinner,” Donna said as she picked up a fresh dish towel.

  “Albeit a little crowded in my tiny house?”

  Donna smiled. “You’ll have to excuse Celeste. She’s so excited about their new house and everything.”

  “Well, she can host Thanksgiving at her big ol’ house next year.”