The Joy of Christmas

by Melody Carlson

  As she turned back the comforter, noticing how Michael’s side of the bed was empty, her mind began to churn. Where had he been? And what if something was wrong? Seriously wrong? What if he had fallen out of love with her? What if he was involved with someone else? What if he was cheating on her? The mere idea sliced through her like a jagged knife. She could endure a horrible terminal illness, even undergo painful and debilitating treatments for it, but she knew that losing Michael would hurt more than anything else could. In fact, she felt it would kill her. She fluffed the pillow and sighed. She was letting her mind run away with her. Surely Michael was not having an affair. She knew he loved her. She knew their love was the kind of love that only grew stronger over the years. And yet . . . how many other women had thought the same thing, only to be devastated when they learned the truth?

  Finally, as she climbed into bed, she told herself she was being completely ridiculous. As Grandma Lily liked to say, she was making a mountain out of a molehill. She decided to simply push it from her mind. Don’t worry, she reminded herself, just pray. And so, before she slipped off to sleep, she did pray.

  –––––

  Sunday passed uneventfully, and by the time they went to bed, Anna told herself that everything was just fine between them. Her suspicions about Michael – not that she called them that – were totally ungrounded. As always they were in love. And Anna couldn’t wait to see his reaction when she presented his fabulous Christmas present this year. She was hoping and praying that the engine would arrive early and that David would help her to get the car to the mechanics and then parked in the driveway on Christmas morning. With a big red bow. It would be perfect.

  The next day Anna called the doctor, scheduling a routine exam. “How about January 16?” the receptionist suggested.

  “You don’t have anything sooner?”

  “Not unless it’s urgent.”

  “The sixteenth is fine.” Anna wrote it down, thanked her, and hung up. Hopefully Meredith would be so consumed with her own life and problems that she would forget to ask Anna about her appointment. Anna’s plan now was to wait until the week after Christmas before she told Michael that they would need to get some health insurance in place. That was less than two weeks away. And she figured it would look better if they had the insurance for a few weeks before her doctor delivered the diagnosis. So perhaps the sixteenth was for the best anyway.

  In the meantime, Anna planned to make the most of Christmas. She had shopping and baking to do and cards to send and packages to wrap, and she wanted to enjoy every bit of it – to lose herself in her efforts to make this the best Christmas ever. Anna remembered how her mother had loved Christmas and how she’d always strived to make things perfect. That’s what Anna wanted this year. Still, she knew she needed to pace herself. And, like she’d promised herself earlier, she would keep her health at the forefront. She would try to eat healthier and get in a little exercise and plenty of rest.

  –––––

  On Wednesday, Anna studied her image in the mirror. She really did look like Mom. Not just her petite frame and prematurely gray hair, but the color of her eyes and the dark shadows beneath them, the structure of her cheekbones and the beginning signs of hollowness in her cheeks. This was how Mom had looked during the last year of her life. Still, Anna felt determined to fight. She might be dying, but she could do it gracefully. Couldn’t she? For one thing, she hadn’t had a proper haircut in ages. Lately she’d taken to pulling her shoulder-length hair back in a barrette. Unfortunately this only made her look older.

  Anna found the envelope in which she was keeping the leftover money from the sale of her dishes. She pulled it out from her underwear drawer and counted the bills inside. She’d already paid for the engine, giving David the cash so he could use a charge card, which he seemed to appreciate since he was low on cash. And then she’d given him the amount to purchase a gift certificate from British Motors, which was also safe in her underwear drawer, along with the picture of the new engine. She still had a fair amount of money left, and some was already budgeted for gifts for her family. But she decided it would not only be acceptable to use some of it to improve her appearance, it would also be wise. Meredith had already guessed Anna’s secret just by looking at her. How many others would begin to be suspicious? Besides that, Michael would probably appreciate her improved appearance.

  Anna made an appointment for a “holiday mini-makeover” for Friday morning. She felt a flutter of excitement as she hung up the phone. That would be just six days before Christmas and just in time for the Christmas party that Grant and Suzy were hosting on Saturday night. And perhaps she’d even get something new to wear. Oh, wouldn’t Michael be pleased when he saw her? In the meantime, she would finish the other holiday chores on her list – and make sure she got plenty of rest.

  Meredith had called a couple of times during the week, but Anna had managed to “miss” those calls, and she’d managed to “forget” to return them. But on Friday morning, just as she was getting ready to leave for her mini-makeover, she saw her sister’s white minivan pulling up in front of the house.

  “Meredith,” Anna called. “So good to see you. I’m on my way to an appointment right now, but maybe we could meet up later – are you off today?”

  “Yes,” Meri said as she came closer and peered into Anna’s eyes. “Why haven’t you returned my calls?”

  “Oh . . . I’ve been so busy.” Then Anna started rattling off a list of all the things she’d been doing.

  “But you did see the doctor?”

  “I made an appointment.”

  Meredith brightened. “Is that where you’re going now?”

  “Well, I am going to an appointment.” Anna glanced away.

  “To the doctor?”

  “Not today.” Anna smiled. “Today I’m having a holiday mini-makeover at La Bella. Hey, why don’t you come along? Maybe they can squeeze you in.”

  “What about the doctor?”

  “I made the appointment,” Anna said. “But really, I have to run or I’ll be late.” She unlocked her car. “Sorry.”

  “Why don’t we meet up for lunch?” Meredith suggested. “When will you be done?”

  “Around one, I’m guessing.”

  “Okay, meet me at 1:30 at Renaldo’s. It’s just a block down from La Bella.”

  “Sounds great.” Anna got in her car and wondered how she’d be able to get her sister off her case about the doctor appointment. Perhaps her best defense would be to fake it. Act as if she was feeling better. And, really, wasn’t she? She’d managed to eat and hold down a whole bowl of oatmeal this morning. That was something.

  –––––

  “So what would you like to do?” Veronica asked as she turned Anna around in the chair to look at her reflection.

  “I look pretty bad, don’t I?”

  “You look a little tired.”

  “Yes, that’s the problem. I want to look healthy and happy and ready for some holiday fun.”

  Veronica laughed. “Don’t we all? Well, do you trust me, Anna?”

  Anna frowned slightly. “Well . . . yes. Although I have to draw the line at any hair color. I know the gray makes me look older, but my husband actually likes it.”

  Veronica fingered her hair. “I think it’s kind of pretty. But how about if we gave it more sparkle – without using dye?”

  “Sounds great.”

  “Okay.” Veronica wrapped the black cape around Anna’s shoulders. “Just relax and we’ll see what miracles can happen.”

  Anna did relax. In fact, she closed her eyes and nearly went to sleep as Veronica and a young woman named Fawn took turns working on her. Veronica was in charge of hair, and Fawn gave Anna a facial and then applied makeup.

  “Voilà,” Fawn said as she spun Anna’s chair around again. “Take a look at you.”

  Anna opened her eyes and peered at her reflection. “Wow, that really is like a miracle.” Her hair was cut short and curling pret
tily around her face. And although the gray was still there, it did have a sparkle to it. She patted it to discover that it even felt good. “And the makeup,” she said. “It looks so soft and natural. And yet it looks fantastic.” She turned to Fawn. “But how will I accomplish this again?”

  Fawn grinned and handed her a DVD. “That’s part of our make– over package. We record what we did so you can do it again at home.”

  “Of course, you’ll need the products,” Veronica pointed out. She handed Anna a list. “Everything we used on you is available right here in the salon.”

  “Thank you,” Anna said, looking back at her reflection again. “Really, I think I look ten years younger. Well, except for the gray.”

  “You look beautiful,” Veronica said.

  “Absolutely,” Fawn agreed. “And that dusky violet on your eyes is stunning. If nothing else, I recommend you get that one.”

  “That and the hair product,” Veronica said as she pointed to an item on the list. “See how your gray hair looks silvery and shimmers? Very pretty.”

  “And the lip color,” Fawn added. “You have to get that too.”

  Anna laughed. “I might just have to get it all.”

  She thanked them and went over to see the products and review her list. Although it would’ve been fun to get all the products, her usual frugality kicked in when she saw the staggering total. So she limited herself to a hundred dollars’ worth of beauty products. And to be fair, that was far more than she’d ever spent before. When it was all said and done, Anna knew it had been an extravagant morning, but she thought it was worth it. And she couldn’t wait to see what her sister’s reaction would be.

  “Wow, Anna,” Meredith said when they met in the foyer of Renaldo’s. “You look fantastic.”

  Anna patted her hair as the hostess led them to a table. “I feel great too. Really, I wish you’d come with me. It was such fun.”

  “Maybe I’ll make myself an appointment too.” Meredith frowned now. “Well, not until after Christmas. Sometime before New Year’s though.”

  “Meaning you have a date planned for New Year’s?” As much as Anna didn’t want to encourage Meri about this, and as much as she didn’t want to hear any more about Cooper, Anna thought the question might distract her sister from pestering her about seeing the doctor.

  “I might.”

  “So, you’re still certain about this thing?”

  “The way you say ‘this thing,’ Anna – it’s like you’re talking about polio . . . or cancer.”

  “I’m sorry,” Anna said as the hostess filled their water glasses. “I’m trying to be understanding . . . really, I am.” She waited for the hostess to leave. “But I still don’t see how divorcing Todd is going to make you happy.”

  Meredith let out a long sigh and picked up her water glass. “That’s because you are not me, Anna. If you had to live my life for just one day – twenty-four hours – you might get it.”

  “I suppose . . .”

  “It’s not easy living in a loveless marriage. It’s even harder when you have a child together.”

  “But didn’t you used to love Todd?” Anna peered at her sister.

  “I don’t even know. Sometimes I think I just married him because it seemed the thing to do. Everyone else was married. I was done with college.” She shrugged. “Planning a wedding sounded like fun.” She pointed a finger at Anna. “And you acted like it was so great.”

  “So great?”

  “You know, getting married, having a wedding, possibly starting a family.”

  “You were talking about your biological clock then,” Anna pointed out.

  “I was only thirty.” Meredith shook her head. “I think I was being influenced by you and your biological clock. I should’ve waited.”

  “But you were thirty-four when you had Jackson. Just how long would you have waited?”

  “I don’t know . . . long enough to have met Cooper, I guess.”

  Anna felt bad now, like maybe this was partially her fault. “How long have you known Cooper?”

  “Three years.”

  “Oh . . .” Anna realized that was only a year less than Meredith had been married.

  “I’m not trying to blame you,” Meredith said.

  Just then the waiter came to take their order, and Anna, thankful for the interruption, quickly perused the menu before settling on soup and salad. Somehow she ought to be able to get that down.

  “I’d like the house dressing,” she told him. “On the side.”

  “Certainly.” Then he turned to take Meredith’s order.

  “How’s Jackson doing?” Anna asked after the waiter left.

  “He’s fine. At the sitter’s.”

  Anna wanted to question this but picked up a piece of bread instead. Then, taking her time, she pretended to butter it and slowly broke off a small piece and took a cautious bite. Bread wasn’t usually a problem, but just sitting in the restaurant and smelling the various foods was making her feel a little queasy.

  “How are you feeling?” Meri asked.

  Anna looked up and smiled. “Great.”

  “Really?”

  “Absolutely. I think all I needed was some rest. And my energy is coming back.” She started listing off all the things she’d been doing this week, not mentioning the naps or occasional stomachaches.

  “That’s great,” Meredith said. “I was starting to get worried when you didn’t call.”

  “Sorry. I meant to, but it’s funny how you can waste more time when you have it. I can hardly believe a whole week of Christmas break has gone by already.”

  “Or that there are only five more shopping days until Christmas.”

  “You’re still shopping?”

  “Not really, but I just heard that on the radio.” Meredith buttered a piece of bread. “Hey, Todd mentioned seeing Michael on campus Wednesday night.”

  “Huh?” Anna frowned. “On campus?”

  “Yeah. Todd had popped into the Night Owl to meet his brother, and – ”

  “The Night Owl?” Anna shook her head.

  “Yeah, I thought that sounded kind of weird too. Why would Michael be on campus and hanging out at the Night Owl?”

  “Michael was working Wednesday night,” Anna pointed out. “Maybe Todd mistook someone else for him.”

  “No, he was certain it was Michael.”

  “Well, maybe he was meeting someone for something work related.”

  “At the Night Owl?”

  “We used to go there for coffee sometimes,” Anna said defensively. “It’s not just a bar, you know. Lots of students hang out there.”

  “Yeah, but Michael’s not a student.”

  “Well, maybe it wasn’t Michael.” Anna stopped talking as the waiter brought their food, but all she could think about was what her husband was doing at a college hangout on a Wednesday night when he was supposed to be working.

  “Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Meredith said as she forked into her Cobb salad.

  “I’m not upset.”

  “I just thought it was weird.”

  Anna nodded and took a cautious taste of the pumpkin soup. Not bad.

  “You guys aren’t having problems, are you, Anna?”

  “No, of course not.”

  Meredith pointed her fork accusingly at her. Anna wanted to remind her that it was bad manners to point eating utensils at others, but she didn’t. “Anna, I remember you saying something about Michael having a midlife crisis once.”

  “Oh, I was probably just joking.”

  “You didn’t seem like you were joking.”

  “Well . . .”

  “And then, the other day, when I thought Michael was acting weird with me, you said if he was acting weird, it was probably toward you. What was up with that?”

  “Nothing, Meredith.” And then, in a last-ditch effort to distract her sister, Anna asked Meredith to tell her more about Cooper. “I’ve been curious,” she said. “What’s he really li
ke – and what makes you so attracted to him?”

  Naturally this got Meredith going, and soon their lunches were eaten, or mostly, and suddenly Meri was urging Anna to check out a sale at a new boutique a couple of doors down. “I saw the sale sign, and the things I spotted in the window were totally amazing.” She smiled at Anna. “And you look so hot with your new makeover, we really should get you something fun to wear for Christmas.”

  Anna admitted that she had been thinking the same thing, and before long she and Meri were in the boutique trying on all kinds of things.

  “You have to get that,” Meredith said as Anna modeled a garnet-colored dress. “It is so awesome on you – you look totally hot. Michael is going to have a meltdown when he sees you.”

  “But it’s too expensive,” Anna protested.

  “It’s 30 percent off,” the saleswoman said.

  “It’s still too much,” Anna said. Even with the reduction, this dress was still more than $150. And she’d already spent more than she planned with the makeover this morning.

  “Fine! Just take it off then. Let’s get out of here. I need to pick up Jackson now anyway.”

  Anna blinked, then returned to the dressing room where she carefully removed the pretty dress. It really was stunning – and surprisingly sexy too. But still it was too much. And yet she hated for Meri to be mad at her. Perhaps she could smooth it over.

  “I’ll find something at Ross,” she whispered to her sister as she hung the dress back on the rack.

  “The heck you will,” Meri said as she snatched up the dress. “I’m getting this for you, Anna.”

  “No,” Anna said as she chased Meredith to the cashier. “You can’t. It’s too much.”

  “No, it’s not,” Meredith said. Then she turned and actually smiled. “Merry early Christmas, Anna. Now don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, okay?”

  Anna didn’t know what to say, but she also knew it would be pointless to argue with her stubborn younger sister on this. Besides, it was incredibly sweet.

  “Well, thank you very much,” Anna said as Meredith handed her the sleek silver bag.

  “You are very welcome. Now, promise me you’ll wear it to the party tomorrow and knock everyone’s socks off.”