The Kaleidoscope Album Box Set

by Bryce Oakley

  “Oh-okay,” Kyle said, looking between the two of them. “So, you are writing a song together?”

  Before Billie could open her mouth, Vero switched gears. “Do you have any Sonic Youth albums? I can’t find them under rock, but then I was thinking they might be under alternative. You wouldn’t have put them under pop, right?” Vero asked, her eyes bright with mischief.

  Poor Kyle. He never stood a chance.

  “Oh, they’re definitely under alternative,” he said, exasperated. “They’re right…” He moved to one of the unmarked bins and pulled out Goo.

  Vero nodded. “Perfect. Just what I was looking for. Can you ring that up for me?” She asked, smiling.

  Kyle nearly tripped over his own feet in his urgency to the cash register.

  Billie narrowed her eyes at Vero, but didn’t dare ask her what the hell was going on with Kyle able to overhear.

  Vero shot her a wink and then pulled a card out of her wallet.

  “So nice to meet you two,” he called after them as they walked out of the shop moments later. “Come back again, Billie. Would love to have a signing. Maybe a house show?”

  Billie smiled politely and waved back at him as they ducked through the door.

  As soon as they were safely block away, Billie turned to Vero. “Sonic Youth? Really?” She asked, leaning against a brick building.

  “Are you kidding? Sonic Youth is like catnip to guys like that,” Vero said, gesturing to the vinyl in a bag under her arm.

  “Why did you need catnip? Are we not telling people we’re writing a song together?” Billie asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “I don’t know what my PR people want me to say yet. And I couldn’t just be leaking info to Greg,” Vero said, sighing.

  “Kyle. His name was Kyle,” Billie said, her nose wrinkling in distaste.

  “I’ll talk to them today and figure out the language so that we never have another Mike situation,” Vero said, taking one of Billie’s hands in hers.

  “Kyle,” Billie repeated, her voice flat.

  “Random dude,” Vero said, waving her free hand as she raised Billie’s fingertips to kiss them.

  The sweet gesture made Billie’s stomach flip as giddiness — actual giddiness — coursed through her veins.

  Vero added, “Forgive me? I panicked.”

  Billie rolled her eyes. “Well, the Sonic Youth thing was pretty genius,” she admitted. “But telling people I annoy your dad? Low blow.”

  “I’m not the one who sang the wrong lyrics directly to his face,” Vero teased.

  Billie reached out to tickle her and they laughed before regaining a bit of composure. “Okay, I forgive you,” she said.

  “I want to kiss you,” Vero whispered, barely moving her lips.

  “I know, me too,” Billie said with a small grin. “Want to go home?”

  “Only if I can touch your butt when we get in the car,” Vero said, turning toward the side street where they had parked.

  “Won’t I be sitting on it?” Billie asked, arching a brow.

  “Well, I’ll have to act fast, then,” Vero said, playfully darting her hands out in front of her. “Fast Hands De Luca.”

  Billie giggled and wrapped an arm around her in a way that she hoped appeared friendly. “Alright, I’m ready to see what those fast hands can do,” she teased.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Vero

  “Fucking Kyle,” Vero said, staring at her phone. She had been scrolling through Instagram when a text from her manager, Justin popped up on the screen.

  “What on earth is this?” Justin had texted, attaching photos of her morning in town with Billie. In one, she was kissing Billie’s fingers, and in another, Billie was tickling her and they were both laughing. The cutest one was the last one, where Billie had her arm wrapped around Vero’s shoulders.

  “Friendship,” Vero texted back lamely.

  “Do we need to arrange a relationship strategy? Because this isn’t the way I envisioned it,” Justin texted.

  “What’s up?” Billie said, looking up from the kitchen island where she was completing a jigsaw puzzle with a cup of hot cocoa — tiny marshmallows definitely included.

  “There are photos of us from today,” Vero said, throwing her head back onto the pillow she was resting against. “Fucking Kyle.”

  “Are you sure Kyle took them? Where are they posted?” Billie asked, standing up from the barstool to cross the great room.

  “Well, I think they’re from the angle of his shop,” Vero said, zooming in on the pictures.

  Part of her wanted to throw her phone across the room. She felt violated.

  Another part of her wanted to stare at those pictures for hours. They looked so happy. They looked so good together.

  Billie’s phone dinged and she pulled it out of her pajama pant’s pocket. “Oh, I got a Google Alert. Cool. They’re on TMZ,” she sighed.

  Vero’s phone rang. It was Jill, her PR wrangler. “This is excellent publicity for the single,” were her first words.

  “I don’t want to feel slimy about the single,” Vero growled. “I want people to like it on its own accord, not to dissect it for lesbian feelings.”

  “Will they even need to dissect it? Two lesbians wrote a couple of songs about their feelings,” Billie said, sitting on the couch beside her.

  Vero glared at Billie.

  “We’re already spinning this as a story about two friends. The kissing photo is hard to spin, but we’re working on that,” Jill said.

  “What kissing photo?” Vero asked quickly, her stomach dropping.

  “We have a kissing photo?” Billie said, sitting up straighter.

  “The photo of you kissing her hand,” Jill said impatiently.

  “Maybe I was just kissing an injury? Billie does have a bandaid on her wrist,” Vero said, trying to stifle a groan.

  “Okay, what do I need to know? What’s going on between you two?” Jill asked.

  Vero’s gaze flicked up to Billie. “Nothing,” she said, her stomach sinking as the words left her mouth. “We’re just friends. Those pictures are out of context.”

  A call alert chimed in, and Vero glanced at her phone’s screen. Her manager was calling. “Oh, that’s Justin. We’ll talk soon. Good luck,” she said.

  “Who the fuck is this ‘trusted source’?” He snapped.

  “What?” Vero asked and Billie sighed, flipping through an article on her phone.

  “Fucking Kyle,” she mumbled, showing Vero the phone.

  The article read: “A source close to the couple confirmed that they are very much in love and writing a song together.”

  “Just some record store guy who saw us. I thought I had distracted him enough, but I guess not,” Vero said to Justin.

  “In love?” Billie repeated, staring down at the phone with wide eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

  “What should I tell people when they ask about the last article?” Vero asked. “I don’t want everyone to just consider ‘Lost Love’ Billie's song.”

  Billie lowered her phone, turning her face slowly to Vero with her mouth hanging open. “What?”

  “Well, from now on, your talking points are that you are long-time friends, and that Billie came into town to work with your dad,” he said impatiently.

  “Okay,” Vero said out of desperation. “I’ve got to go.” She hung up before he could complain about her brevity.

  “You don’t want people knowing we’re working on a song together? Why?” Billie asked, her voice eerily calm.

  Vero fidgeted, pressing her mouth into a thin line as she thought of the right way to explain it. “I just don’t want to have to depend on other songwriters for my entire career. I don’t need guest stars on my songs to make good music.”

  “Bullshit,” Billie bit out.

  Vero raised up on her knees, holding out her hands in surrender. “I know it’s an asshole way to think, but consider what you would do in my shoes. You just quit The Shr
ikes and now you want to go solo. Do you automatically attach your name to someone else’s? Or do you try to earn a reputation as a good songwriter and someone that others can take seriously?”

  Billie stared at her for a long while. “I can see where you’re coming from, but I do admit that I’m a little offended. Are you trying to not even going to give me songwriting credit on “Love Lost” or what?”

  “No, of course not,” Vero said, taken aback by the accusation. “I just don’t want this to be a duet. It’s my song. I want to own my career.”

  Without another word, Billie stood up and silently walked out of the room.

  Vero stood. “Wait, Billie,” she called after her.

  Her phone rang and she took a deep breath to prevent from crushing it in her hands. She looked at the caller ID, blinking rapidly when she saw Lara’s name.

  She answered almost out of habit rather than necessity.

  “Oh, hey,” Lara said, her voice cheerful.

  “What do you want?” Vero bit out.

  “I just saw the TMZ article. Are you seriously dating Billie Rush?” Lara sounded offended and hurt.

  “What? No,” Vero said urgently, before she could properly react. Lara always had the worst timing. She hadn’t called for a year and then she suddenly turned up out of nowhere when there was tabloid fodder about Billie?

  “I miss you—” Lara began, but Vero cut her off.

  “Don’t call me,” she said, hanging up the phone before Lara could protest too much.

  She threw her phone onto the far end of the sectional, sitting down with her face in the palms of her hands.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Billie

  Billie sat at the dining table, reading the news on her phone. The only news she trusted was the BBC, because it was the least likely to care about the affairs of young celesbians.

  “What do you say we record today?” Felix said as he came into the room, his voice booming with a good mood.

  “Up to Vero,” Billie said, shoveling more cereal into her mouth.

  “Is this about the photos?” Felix asked, sitting down across the table from her.

  “No, it’s about Brexit,” Billie said, much more exasperated than normal.

  “Well, we need to get that demo done before you leave. And we need to get it done before it’s not fresh in your minds. So, my executive decision is we’ll spend the day in the studio,” he said, holding a finger in the air like he was some kind of genius for suggesting it.

  “Where’s the studio?” Billie asked.

  It turned out that the studio took up the entire basement floor of the home. Felix had built it years ago to cut his own demos, learn about producing, and encourage Vero to record more.

  Billie sat on a couch in the booth, watching Vero fiddle with the controls.

  “What song are we recording today?” Felix asked, double-checking a cable connection to the soundboard.

  “Undone,” Vero said with surprising authority.

  “Undone?” Billie asked, confused.

  “Yeah, the song we both wrote,” Vero said, her eyebrows raised in impatience.

  “You mean the unfinished pair of songs?” Billie asked, sinking back into the couch.

  It was going to be a long studio day.

  Vero recorded the piano first. As she settled onto the bench and mimed the first few chords she was to play, Felix turned and looked over his shoulder at Billie.

  “You know, she never used to play piano in front of me,” he said.

  “Why not?” Billie asked, interested despite herself.

  “She thought she wasn’t good at it. She had a natural knack for the drums and bass, but the piano was a big challenge for her. She used to practice for hours every day,” he said. “I think she got sick of it, or unbearably self-conscious, or both.”

  “Why do you think she wrote these songs on the piano, then?” Billie asked, leaning forward in her seat to see Vero at the piano bench better.

  “I think she’s so desperate to prove herself that she’s willing to risk it all,” he said, pride and awe in his voice.

  “Yeah, maybe,” Billie said. “Or maybe she’s over being nervous about it.”

  Vero took a deep breath, staring down at the piano bench in front of her, looking a bit sick.

  “Or, maybe you’re right,” Billie conceded.

  Vero had looked so comfortable in front of the piano the other times she had played for her.

  “Maybe you should go talk to her,” Billie added.

  “I think you’re the one she needs comfort from right now,” Felix said.

  Billie walked through the door that connected the booth to the studio room.

  “What’s up? You okay?” Billie asked, pausing near a music stand set up at the edge of the room.

  “How am I supposed to record a song about my feelings for you when you’re mad at me?” Vero said, not looking up from the piano.

  Billie stared at her in confusion. “Wh-what?” She asked, not sure if she heard right.

  “I really like you, and I’m going to fuck it up, and I’m going to lose you, and I know that’s what the song is about, but I just…” Vero paused, her shoulders slumping in defeat.

  “Hey,” Billie soothed, walking toward where Vero sat at the piano. She glanced back to the booth and saw that Felix was gone. She was grateful for his apparent self-awareness.

  She sat beside Vero, wrapping her arms around Vero’s. “So, let’s not fuck it up,” she said quietly, pressing her mouth to kiss Vero’s temple.

  “I’m already fucking it up,” Vero said. “With the PR thing and the songwriting together thing.”

  Billie tried her best not to laugh at the adorable confession. “It’s nothing we can’t talk about. I was just frustrated last night and needed space. It was my fault that I didn’t say anything,” she admitted.

  Vero looked up at her through long, damp eyelashes. “It was my fault for not explaining it. But then Lara called, and I got distracted…” she began, her words fading off.

  Billie tried her best not to tense when Lara was mentioned. She wanted to create a space for Vero to discuss her complicated feelings and her even more complicated way of processing them.

  “What did Lara say?” Billie asked gently.

  “Oh, I don’t know, I hung up on her,” Vero said quickly, wiping at her eyes.

  “Why did you even answer?” Billie asked, trying not to sound too harsh.

  “Habit? I haven’t heard from her in a long time, but before that…” Vero said, biting on her lip. “Well, we had a thing.”

  “A thing?” Billie grinned at the casual phrase. “A thing like we have a thing?”

  “No,” Vero said quickly, her brow furrowing. “Or maybe yes? I thought we were partners. But it turns out she was just bored. Or maybe just an asshole?”

  Billie shrugged. “Yeah, that happens,” she said. “Was she the first woman you dated?”

  “I think dated is not technically the term, but yes. She was the first woman I was with,” Vero said, comically playing a dun-dun-dun on the low keys.

  Billie laughed. “I thought you were with that actor last year, though?” Billie said, tilting her head.

  “Oh, Michael? No, we were definitely just friends,” she said. “I just never said anything otherwise about the pictures and people assumed what they wanted to. It worked out for both of us, because he didn’t want people to know who he was really dating, and neither did I.”

  Billie nodded. The life that Vero lived was so much more complicated than hers. No one cared who Billie dated.

  Until Vero.

  “After Lara broke up with me, I kind of lost control. I drank a lot. I don’t remember an entire show that we performed,” she admitted.

  “Is that why you don’t drink anymore?” Billie asked gently.

  Vero nodded.

  “So, why pick this song to record today?” Billie asked.

  “‘Undone’ is the song I want our names on,
” Vero said, straightening her spine once more.

  “And ‘Lost Love’ — what about that one?” Billie asked, trying to remain calm about it. They had worked so hard together on the song that Vero had originally written, but by the time it was done, it was just as much of Billie’s work as hers.

  Vero stared down at the keys. “It was always my intention that I’d give the execs one of my songs in addition to one of ours. Did you know that? But now we have two songs, and I have none,” Vero began.

  Billie felt her own defenses begin to raise in reaction. Was she seriously going to act as though they hadn’t written that song together?

  Vero turned in the seat. “I don’t want to do that now. I want to write all of the songs with you. I know that’s probably not a good idea, but that’s what I want,” she said, looking into Billie’s eyes.

  “All of them?” Billie asked, her own eyes widening in surprise.

  Vero took Billie’s hands in hers. “Wilfreda Rush, will you write this whole album with me?”

  Billie laughed, rolling her eyes. “Wilfreda?” She asked, shaking her head.

  “No? You won’t?” Vero asked, blinking in confusion.

  “I’ll write it with you,” Billie covered quickly. “Of course I’ll write it with you. But you’re sure?”

  Vero smiled widely and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Billie’s lips.

  They parted, grinning at one another.

  “You gonna play this piano or what?” Billie said.

  “Unless you are,” Vero teased.

  Billie snorted. “Sure. I hope you like ‘Heart & Soul’ because that’s now the tune of every song,” she joked.

  “You two sorted this out?” Felix’s voice boomed through the studio.

  Billie started, looking up to see him back in the booth, leaning over the soundboard to press the button that let him speak to the studio.

  “Yeah, yeah,” Vero said, relaxing her shoulders.

  “Okay, play it,” Billie said, leaning in for one more quick kiss before walking back to the booth.

  Vero closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Billie stood beside Felix, both of their arms crossed as they watched her.