The Kaleidoscope Album Box Set

by Bryce Oakley

Sabrina also hated that she worried about what Domino might think if she brought it up. She never questioned Domino's feelings for her except when she was trying to get a read on what was going on between them.

  "The article was good, your tips were fantastic, the pictures make my house look awesome, and as far as the girlfriend remark... well, I don't love it," Domino said. She shifted in her seat.

  "I can write to Greta and ask her to remove that line," Sabrina said, but her voice cracked, revealing her vulnerability after all.

  Domino furrowed her brow. "I just don't see why people need to label it," she said, sitting back on the couch.

  Sabrina resisted the urge to arch a brow. "People?" She asked.

  "What?" Domino asked, turning her head toward Sabrina. She looked concerned and confused at the same time. "What's that mean?"

  "I like you. I don't want to sleep with other people. I want to date you. Only you,” Sabrina said, her eyes widening as she confessed her feelings.

  "I like you, too, Sab," Domino said, reaching to take Sabrina's hand. "Then what's the issue here?"

  Sabrina steeled her nerves in an effort to get the worlds out. “What is this?" Sabrina asked as bluntly as she could. How could Domino be more intensely committed to dozens of pairs of black jeans than her?

  The front door opened and Isla waltzed in, shopping bags in hand. "Hey guys," she said with a smile. "How are you two –– ooh, is that pie?"

  Domino smiled at her. "There's some more in the kitchen if you'd like a slice." Sabrina had the feeling that Domino was grateful for the interruption.

  Isla's eyes lit up. "Don't mind if I do," she said, setting down the bags and walking into the kitchen.

  Domino turned back to Sabrina, her expression softening. "I like us just the way we are. Why complicate it?" She said in barely a whisper, then leaned forward and kissed the tip of Sabrina's nose.

  But was that enough for Sabrina?

  She chewed on her lower lip.

  The wind had been taken out of her sails. "Do you want me to write to Greta, then?" She asked quietly, her shoulders slouching.

  Domino crossed her arms over her chest casually. "If it bothers you, go for it," she said.

  Sabrina wanted to strangle her into making some kind of decision. Her go-with-the-flow attitude was driving Sabrina crazy. "But does it bother you?" She asked.

  "Well, yeah, but––" Domino began.

  "Have you guys watched the new Hallmark Christmas movie that just came out?" Isla interrupted, holding a plate with a slice of pie on it. "I heard it has a real––"

  She stopped in the doorway of the kitchen, and Sabrina saw that she was finally reading the tense mood of the room.

  "Actually, just remembered I'm Skyping Mum tonight so I'll just be in my room," Isla said quickly, speed-walking down the hallway towards the bedrooms.

  Sabrina shook her head. "Maybe it's because you've never been in a relationship before," Sabrina asked, remembering their very short lived talk on the beach early one morning.

  "What was your longest relationship?" Domino asked.

  "Two years," Sabrina said, surprised to realize they had never talked about it before.

  "And why didn't it work out?" Domino continued.

  "We were young and grew apart. She didn't respect my long-term goals. And quite frankly, my long-term goals didn't include her. I wanted things that she didn't want and vice versa," Sabrina explained, trying not to make it sound like the dramatic 22-year-old mess that it had been.

  "But how does dating me fit in with your long-term goals?" Domino asked, raising a brow.

  "Are you interviewing me for a job right now?" Sabrina asked, swallowing the lump that formed in her throat. She couldn't get a read on where Domino's head was at –– currently, it seemed to be all over the place. "I think we're compatible. What more is there?"

  "What I'm trying to get at is, I like that you're driven. I’m also driven.” Domino said solemnly.

  "You don't think our drives align?" Sabrina said, her voice squeaking in surprise. Her heart began to beat a bit faster in fear.

  Domino took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No, that's not what I mean. I just mean that I'm afraid that getting too serious right now will affect our careers. I don't understand how our future will look if we're officially dating, especially when I know that you want a book deal and a television feature and..." Her voice faded off.

  Sabrina's hackles raised. "Wait, are you asking if I'm using you to jumpstart my career?"

  "What? How did you get that out of what I was just asking?" Domino said, looking alarmed.

  "You think that I'm dating you just to get a book deal and a television deal? That your stardom will somehow propel mine?" Sabrina asked, grimacing at the thought.

  Domino shook her head. "This is going all wrong. I don't mean any of that. I'm honestly just asking how the hell we're both going to do what we want to do and still make time for each other," she said, looking exasperated.

  "People do it all the time, Domino. You'd know that if you ever bothered to be with someone for more than a night," Sabrina bit out, and then instantly regretted saying it.

  Domino looked as though she had been slapped across the face. "Wow." She stood up, her face completely expressionless. It was as though she was a robot who had suddenly turned off her emotions. “I may be wary of commitment, but at least I’m not trying to force whatever we have into one of your little, organized boxes,” Domino said, narrowing her eyes.

  Sabrina blinked. She felt like she had whiplash from how the conversation was going. “Whatever we have?”

  Domino cleared her throat. ”I'm going to go. Clearly we're both a bit wound up."

  Sabrina was still furious, but seeing Domino shut down hurt even more than if Domino had said something cruel back to her.

  "Wait, I'm sorry," Sabrina said, reaching for Domino's hand.

  Domino's expression darkened. "We'll talk again when we're not upset," She grabbed her keys off of the table next to the door.

  “When?" Sabrina asked.

  “Awhile,” Domino bit out. She glanced over her shoulder, and then stepped through the door.

  The door clicked shut behind her and Sabrina sank back into the couch, her face in her hands. She waited a few moments before she said, "I know you heard everything. You can come out if you'd like," she said.

  "Holy shit," Isla said, walking into the room. She sat down on the couch next to Sabrina.

  "Did I mess that up terribly? Like really fudged the whole relationship up?" Sabrina asked.

  Isla squinted, as if she was thinking about it. "I don't know all of the details, but that definitely sounded like a mutual fudging to me."

  She wrapped an arm around Sabrina and Sabrina folded into her shoulder, sniffling as she tried her best not to cry. "What am I going to do?"

  "Well, I think there's only one thing to do, and that's give it a bit of time. And also eat ice cream. And watch that Hallmark movie with me while we both complain about the main characters making stupid choices to get your mind off things. So, I suppose, there's a few things for you to do," Isla said.

  Sabrina nodded, sniffling again. "We have ice cream?" she asked, blinking back tears.

  "I will get us ice cream," Isla announced, holding up a hand as though she was about to go slay a dragon. "And then we will eat it, watch sappy movies with good endings, and let both you and Domino decompress. Also, how about I get some wine?"

  Sabrina hugged Isla until she gasped for breath. "Definitely wine.”

  * * *

  It turned out that giving Domino space and time to decompress was more terrifying than she bargained for. She kept picturing the hurt in Domino's eyes and her blank expression as she walked out the door. It had been two full days since that had happened, and Sabrina still hadn't heard from her.

  She stared at the screen, willing Domino to text or call.

  She had even had Isla send a test text to make sure her phone was receiving messa
ges properly.

  She sighed, tossing her phone on her bed as she organized her closet for the second time that day. She had just changed her sweaters to be separated by fabric, but maybe color was the better choice. Maybe appropriate temperature, then color? She'd better try all of the options, just to be sure.

  Her phone rang and she dropped the pile of clothing she was holding as she ran to grab it. She hit the green button before she even glanced at the caller ID.

  "Hello," she said quickly, her breath coming out in a rush.

  "Hi, is this Sabrina Meloy?" A woman's voice said.

  "Uh, yes, this is Sabrina speaking," Sabrina said, standing up straighter.

  "Hi Sabrina, this is Angela. I'm a producer with The Morning Show. I apologize that I wasn't able to get in touch with your agent or manager, but I wasn't able to find a number," Angela said.

  Yeah, because she didn't have an agent or manager. "Oh, how strange that you couldn't find Susannah's number," she said. Susannah? That was the name she was able to come up with? Susannah? "I'm okay with speaking on my own behalf, though."

  "I just read your article on Decor's website and I'd love to have you on the show for an upcoming segment on New Year's organizational tips. I apologize for the last minute request: The women from The Home Edit fell through," Angela said.

  "Yes," Sabrina said quickly. The Home Edit's loss, her win. "I mean, yes, I'm definitely interested. Please forward me the details and I'll have my agent get in touch with you."

  "That's great. Just to clarify quickly, we'd need you out here in New York next week, would that work for you?" Angela said.

  Sabrina paused for a moment, considering her Christmas plans. Without Domino, she had none. Isla was flying home for the holiday, and it wasn't as though she was in touch with her family. "Yes, I'd be available," she said.

  She exchanged her details with Angela, then created a fake email address for "Susannah." It felt extremely entrepreneurial to pretend to be her own agent.

  The contract was finalized within a day. The monetary amount wasn't life-changing, but it was still impressive, but then again, she'd be expected to be featured in five five-minute segments for an entire week between Christmas and New Year's Eve.

  The next day, an editor at a publishing house reached out to discuss potentially signing her for a book deal –– they'd start by creating a book out of her existing blog posts with updates, and then the second book would be fresh material not readily available online.

  Isla had acted as her agent in that call, and had managed to get her a meeting in New York when she'd be there the following week.

  It seemed that all at once, everything was coming together.

  * * *

  Sabrina sat on the couch, nursing her third glass of wine. It was late. Nearly three in the morning. She couldn’t sleep, but she hadn’t slept well for days.

  She looked down at her phone. It had been a week since she'd spoken to Domino.

  Zoey had said she wanted to stay out of it, given her track record with encouraging the wrong person to pursue love.

  She opened her messages, scanning to the last text Domino had sent on the night of their fight.

  Domino: Be there in an hour, then. Can't wait to see you!

  She'd even used a kissy face emoji.

  Sabrina groaned.

  She knew deep down that she had pushed Domino too fast into something that scared her.

  She typed out a message, then deleted it. Then she typed out another and stared down at it.

  "What are you doing awake?" Isla asked, popping up out of nowhere. She was in her pajamas, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

  "Nothing," Sabrina said, quickly putting away her phone.

  Her phone made the annoying whoosh sound of a sent text message.

  "Son of a motherless goat," she said, panicking to look down at her phone.

  She had done it. She had sent the flipping message.

  Her stomach dropped in total horror.

  "What'd you do?" Isla asked skeptically.

  Sabrina showed her the phone, burying her face in her hand, then she held the wine glass up to chug the rest of its contents.

  Sabrina: I'm going to NYC tomorrow for a thing. I'll be there for Christmas. It would mean the world to me if you joined me. We can watch the ball drop on NYE! From inside. NYC seems too ducking cold for the whole Time’s Square thing.

  Isla sucked in air through her teeth. "Wow. I think you're the only person who sends drunk texts that long. And also the only person who ever says ducking on purpose," she said.

  Sabrina cringed. "People say ducking on accident?" She asked, setting her wine glass down on the table.

  "Well, I guess we'll see what she says back. In the meantime, let's get you a glass of water," Isla said, not trying very hard to hide a laugh.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Domino

  The days dragged on, as though Domino was perpetually walking in sand.

  She saw Sabrina in everything. Sabrina was in her entire house –– she couldn't even brush her teeth without staring down at the toothbrush holder Sabrina had chosen.

  Sabrina needed something that Domino wasn't prepared to give her. She had to accept that. They both had to accept that.

  Domino wasn't the settling down type. She could never picture herself with a wife, two kids, a Collie.

  She didn't even like Collies.

  And yet, when she pictured Sabrina, she pictured all of their most boring times. She didn't picture dancing in the club or going to events and parties. She pictured sitting on the couch watching Netflix or laughing over dinner at home. Sitting in the car and reaching over to hold Sabrina's hand in the passenger seat.

  That feeling of comfort when she came home and Sabrina was there.

  "Are you just going to sit alone all night?" Julia asked.

  Domino looked up from her glass. "Yes," she said, scowling.

  They were at the bar –– not the one that she had been to with Sabrina, because she thought that might be too painful. It was a random bar that they frequented often. They always got free drinks.

  Julia had texted her that night, asking for a night out. And who was Domino to refuse?

  Mostly, she had gone out to distract herself from the overwhelming loneliness of being at home alone, staring at Sabrina's things.

  "You are such a downer right now," Julia said.

  Domino finished the rest of her drink in one gulp. "Sorry," she said. She looked over her friend, who really only called her when she wanted to go out somewhere, as though Domino was an accessory, not a confidant.

  "So, is it true you were dating that woman?" Julia asked.

  "We were just friends," Domino lied.

  Julia laughed. "Yeah, I can see that," she said. "Come on. Only way to get over someone is to get under someone else."

  Domino cringed at the saying. She couldn't imagine herself sleeping with anyone at the moment. And even that was a revelation –– since when had she not been able to imagine herself sleeping with someone?

  Well, except for Sabrina.

  She shook her head to clear the thought.

  "Let's go dance in that sweaty mess of people," Julia said, tugging her arm to get onto the dance floor.

  Domino followed, trying to get lost in the rhythm.

  What once was her sanctuary now provided no relief. She almost cringed when another person started dancing too close to her. She didn't want to be touched, which was a brand new feeling.

  "I'm going to head out," she called out to Julia.

  Julia gave her a pouty frown. "Alright, but I want you to be in much better spirits next time I see you."

  Domino saluted and made her way out of the dance floor. She pulled out her phone and saw a message from Sabrina.

  Sabrina was going to New York. As she started reading it, a phone call interrupted, taking over the screen. It was Meg.

  "Hey, where are you?" Meg said as soon as Domino accepted the call. "Wanna get drunk
and feel sorry for ourselves and longboard at the beach?”

  * * *

  They headed straight for the Strand, the smooth path that ran the length of the beach. It was late... or maybe it was early. Was 3am late or early?

  Meg laughed beside her as they both pushed their boards as fast as they could toward one end of Hermosa Beach. They rarely went as far north as Manhattan Beach, but Domino guessed they were close to the invisible border between the two.

  The wind pushed Domino's hair out of her face as she flew down the paved path. She used to think that surfing was the closest she ever got to flying, but maybe this was closer. She closed her eyes and immediately skidded off the path, flying in the sand.

  "Careful," Meg chided. She was holding a bottle of Jack in her hand. She laughed, helping Domino stand back up and brush off.

  How had Domino ever persuaded Meg to get a little wild with her?

  Wait, it was Meg's idea.

  Everyone else around her was so reasonable. They gave her the same sympathetic smiles when she explained her problems.

  Meg hadn't been that way about Sabrina. Meg always told it to Domino straight. She never sugarcoated things for Domino's feelings, and Dom respected that about her. Sabrina and Domino wanted different things. There was no fixing what Domino had broken.

  Domino stepped off her board. "Meghan Koo, party animal extraordinaire," she said with a grin.

  Meg passed her the bottle. "Not always. But I figured I couldn't let you get arrested alone," she said, giggling.

  Domino took a swig from the bottle. The liquor burned her mouth and throat as it went down, expanding as it warmed her belly. They were breaking about five different laws, and yet, she didn't care. The lap of the waves on the pilings below the pier was rhythmic and soothing. They'd have been playing on the pier if there weren't giant gates keeping it closed.

  She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, smelling the salt and wet sand in the air.

  "Meg, I'm like a bird," she started to explain.