Dark Horizons

by Dan Smith

  The last part of him to be covered was his face, perhaps no one wanting to be the person to throw the dirt onto the one thing that identified Matt as our friend. But that honour fell to Jason, who stepped forward and said one last farewell to his friend. And then Matt was gone.

  When the final heaps were placed on Matt’s grave and the dirt that wouldn’t fit back in the hole was smoothed out, Kurt stepped forward to the edge of the freshly turned soil and addressed us all. ‘Matt loved this place so we give him to it. Everything comes from the earth and everything must go back to it. We won’t mourn him, we’ll celebrate him.’ He looked around, making eye contact with each of us, finally staring at me. ‘We all need to remember what’s important; why we’re here.’

  Filtering back through the trees, I saw Kurt and Michael walking together in conspiracy. I hung back, catching just a snippet of their whispers, ‘… need to go see them …’ and something about sending a message, then Domino took my hand and waited for them to overtake us. They stopped talking as they passed, Kurt nodding when he caught Domino’s eye.

  We stopped until they were out of sight, Domino telling me she wanted the others to move ahead before we continued. When we came to the area with the execution stone, she turned away from the path leading back to the main clearing and headed into the trees, moving deeper, towards the sound of rushing water. After walking for a few minutes, we broke out of the forest onto a hillside that was covered with rough scrub growing around black stones. We were above the place where the water fell from a crack in the rocks and splashed into the pool below.

  ‘You remember when you jumped?’ Domino said. ‘You were pretty cool. What did you say? You don’t have somewhere higher?’

  ‘I don’t really remember.’ We stopped near the edge and I looked out at the water. ‘Did you do it?’ I said.

  ‘Hm?’ She looked round, jerking her head. ‘Did I do what?’ ‘Jump.’

  ‘Oh. Yeah. Everyone does.’

  I sat down. ‘You didn’t get pushed?’

  ‘Nope.’ Domino remained standing, her hands on her hips. ‘But it took me a while to build up the bottle.’

  I looked up at her. ‘Kurt brought you here, didn’t he?’

  ‘Uh-huh.’ She watched my reaction, then cast her eyes back to the lake again.

  ‘He was your boyfriend?’

  Domino looked down at me again. ‘Would that be a problem?’

  I watched her for a moment without replying, then sighed and looked back at the lake. I didn’t want to care that Domino and Kurt had once been together. I wanted to be carefree, but I didn’t want to imagine her with anyone else either, and I was angry with myself for feeling that way.

  ‘Anyway, he brought me here,’ she said, realising she wasn’t going to get an answer. ‘Introduced me to Freia, Michael and S— Well, there were only a few people here then.’

  ‘You were going to say Sully.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘It’s a big deal he left, isn’t it?’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about Sully.’

  ‘OK.’ I turned my face to the lake. ‘So, anyway, you stayed. With Kurt.’

  Domino sat down beside me. ‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘With Kurt.’

  ‘Did you ever bring anyone else here?’ I turned to look at her.

  ‘Only you. And I’m not with Kurt, if that’s what you’re going to ask next. He’s—’

  ‘I don’t need to know. After what I’ve just seen, I don’t think anything matters.’

  ‘You think it was wrong to bury Matt?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘And no.’ For a moment, among the trees, I had seen it with clarity. I had understood it all. But now, away from everyone else, my acceptance was fading again. As if the distance weakened Kurt’s spell.

  ‘It’s what he would’ve wanted,’ she said.

  ‘I suppose.’

  ‘You hardly knew him.’

  ‘True. But it didn’t look like an overdose to me.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Didn’t you see the bruises on his face? I kind of forgot about them when we were … well, when we were in there digging. It was like we were somewhere else, all of us caught up in the moment, but now, out here, cold light of day and everything, I remember. He had some kind of mark across his throat, too. Like he’d been strangled or something.’

  ‘Strangled? What the hell are you talking about, Alex? You some kind of expert?’

  ‘No. I just … Oh, I don’t know.’ I paused, remembering something else. ‘Has this happened before?’

  ‘What?’ She stared at me. ‘No. Why would you ask that?’

  I watched her, trying to read her hasty reaction.

  ‘What made you say that?’ she said, changing her expression, softening it.

  ‘Everyone seemed to know what they were doing,’ I said, still studying her. ‘No discussion, nothing. It’s like everyone just knew what to do.’

  ‘Oh.’ Her face softened further. ‘We’ve talked about it before. You know, one of those discussions you have when everyone’s stoned or drunk.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s common,’ I said. ‘Get high and talk about burying each other in the woods.’

  ‘Come on, Alex, you know what it’s like here. Surely you can understand? The people here, this is their family. It’s where they want to be. Everyone’s agreed it’s what they want.’

  ‘Even you?’

  She turned away and looked at the lake.

  ‘Look, I just think maybe we were in too much of a hurry to put him in the ground. Like maybe someone was trying to hide something.’

  ‘Something like what?’

  ‘I dunno, but don’t tell me you didn’t see those bruises.’

  ‘So what would you have done, Alex?’

  ‘Get someone to look at him, maybe.’

  ‘Like who? Like an outsider? Shit, you have any idea what would happen if—’

  ‘Save it. I already had that lecture from Michael.’

  ‘Well, maybe you need to hear it again,’ she said.

  I was disappointed that I’d received the same reaction from Domino as I’d had from Michael and I understood that Kurt and this community were more important to Domino than I was. I’d hoped that I could tell her how I felt about what had happened, but I could see I was going to have to keep my thoughts to myself.

  ‘So what do you do when you go back to Oz?’ I changed the subject.

  ‘Not much,’ she said. ‘Why?’

  ‘No reason. Just getting to know you better, that’s all.’

  ‘You know me well enough.’

  ‘Do I? I reckon I hardly know you at all.’

  ‘Oh, I dunno, I think we know each other well enough.’ She reached around and put her hand on my crotch.

  I sighed and reached down to stop her. ‘That’s not what I mean, D.’

  ‘Don’t call me that. You never call me that.’ She snatched her hand away.

  ‘Kurt does.’

  ‘You’re not Kurt.’

  ‘No, I guess I’m not.’

  ‘And my life away from here doesn’t matter. Only time I’m really me is when I’m here. That’s the person you know. Can’t that be enough for you?’

  ‘It’s only one part of you, though. I want to know more if I’m going to—’

  ‘All right then: I see a few friends, get a job, earn some money, come back. Is that what you want to know?’

  ‘So you do have friends, then? And you don’t tell them about this place?’

  ‘They wouldn’t understand.’

  ‘You mean you never told anyone?’

  ‘Some, but it doesn’t matter. They’ll never come. They’d never find it.’

  ‘But if something happened to you, they’d have some idea where you were, right?’

  ‘Nothing’s gonna happen to me.’

  ‘But if it did. It’s not impossible. Look at everything that’s happened to me since I got here.’

  ‘They’d know I was in Sumatra. That I’d c
ome to Lake Toba.’

  ‘But not where?’

  ‘Right. Not where.’

  ‘So what about Matt?’

  Domino shook her head. ‘What about him?’

  ‘Was he like you? Are there people who might know where he is? People who might come looking for him, like they came looking for Sully? People who might find out we just buried him in the woods?’

  ‘If Kurt thought anyone would come, he wouldn’t let him be buried there.’

  ‘What, then? What would he have done?’

  Domino shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Find somewhere to leave him, I guess. Somewhere he’d be found but not connected with us.’

  ‘Find somewhere to leave him? That’s fucking crazy, Domino. You can’t just bury people without telling anyone and you can’t just leave them lying around like a piece of meat. Like they’re inconvenient.’ Now that I was away from the group and the rest of the community, away from the forest and the burial, I could see the madness in it all again. It was as if my senses had returned to me. And even though I knew Domino was a part of it, I had to say it aloud, just to make sure I wasn’t as mad as they were. ‘You just can’t do that. Not even Kurt.’

  ‘Why’d you say it like that?’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like that. Kurt. Like saying his name leaves a bad taste in your mouth.’

  ‘Why do you care how I say his name?’

  Domino and I stared at each other for a moment before I sighed and looked away. ‘You have feelings for him, don’t you?’

  Domino stood up. ‘I’m going back to the others.’

  ‘Think I might stay here a while. Look at the lake for a bit.’

  ‘Suit yourself.’ She turned to leave.

  ‘Stay with me,’ I said. ‘I don’t want to argue.’

  ‘It might be too late for that,’ she replied without stopping.

  I didn’t watch her go, and it wasn’t until the sound of her footsteps had faded into nothing that it occurred to me that she hadn’t told me why she’d brought me out here.

  26

  Kurt had said something about celebrating Matt, not mourning him, but when I came back into the clearing, hoping to find Domino, I couldn’t see any evidence of celebration. Helena was sitting on the steps of the rice granary with Alban, neither of them speaking, and I couldn’t see anyone else around. The tables were empty. The place was quiet. It was hard to believe that just an hour ago, we’d all been in the forest, burying one of our friends.

  I stood for a moment, surveying the area, wondering where everyone had gone, when something caught my eye and I turned to see Michael strutting from the back of the longhouse. He was carrying a tin of paint in one hand and a brush in the other. He nodded a kind of greeting before coming towards me.

  ‘Where is everyone?’ I asked.

  ‘Gone.’

  ‘Gone? Gone where?’

  ‘Different places. Some just down to the kampong, get a few things. Others maybe over to Parapat – who knows?’

  ‘And Domino? Has she gone, too?’

  ‘Saw her and Kurt going down the track. She looked pissed off about something.’

  I stared across the clearing, wondering if I could do the same. The prospect of escaping for a while was an enticing one. If I left, saw something other than trees for a while, breathed some different air, maybe I’d come back to Domino as a new person. Maybe things would make more sense.

  ‘You should stay here,’ said Michael from behind me.

  ‘Hm?’

  ‘I said you might as well stay here. They left twenty minutes ago. You probably wouldn’t catch them till you get all the way down. And there’s nothing you need to do down there.’

  I looked at him, standing shirtless with a paint tin in one hand and a brush in the other.

  ‘There isn’t, is there?’ He narrowed his eyes. ‘Anything you need to do, I mean.’

  ‘No, I just—’

  ‘No one you need to talk to.’ He put down the tin and brush, drew back his shoulders. ‘Nothing you need to tell anyone.’

  ‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘I wanted to see Domino, that’s all.’

  ‘She’ll be back.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘Why not help me out? Do some painting. You’ll be surprised how relaxing it is. Good thinking time, and I reckon you need a bit of that. When we’re done, she’ll be back. You can make up then.’

  ‘Make up?’

  ‘Something pissed her off, Alex, and I’m guessing it was you.’

  I stayed where I was, looking at Michael then back to the path again.

  ‘C’mon, Alex. What d’ya say?’

  ‘I think I’ll go after them,’ I said, making a move.

  ‘I don’t think so.’ Michael came forward and put his hand on my shoulder. His grip was tight. ‘I think you should stay right here and help me. Give yourself some of that thinking time I told you about.’

  I made myself relax, not wanting to cross him. Perhaps there would be a moment, later, when Michael turned his back. If I was going to get away, it would have to be then.

  ‘Put things into perspective,’ he said.

  ‘OK,’ I submitted. ‘So, what are we doing, then?’

  His scowl became a smile. ‘We’re making the place look pretty. Come on, we need a couple more things.’ He sauntered back to the small hut behind the longhouse from which we’d taken the cangkuls that morning. I waited while he opened the door and leaned in. To my right, I saw a flash of colour and turned to watch a butterfly flitting among the trees. With movements that seemed almost haphazard, it blinked in and out of view until it came into the clearing and settled on the ground close to my feet. As if to display its beauty to me, it opened its wings to parade its vivid orange and white and black markings, almost like a tiger’s. Seeing it right there, barely any movement, an image of Hidayat’s butterflies flickered through my mind, but then Michael retreated from the hut with more paint and the spell was broken. The butterfly lifted without a sound and retreated the way it had come, disappearing into the forest.

  Together we set up two trestles fashioned from rough pine trunks. The unplaned wood still had its bark, covered with rivulets and beads of resin, which had oozed like blood from its wounds and hardened. There were nail heads protruding in places, large and round, not completely hammered in. We stood them close to the longhouse that served as our home, laying a crooked plank across them and climbing up, taking the paint tins with us.

  ‘You ever painted a longhouse before?’ he asked.

  ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘I do it all the time.’

  ‘Then you’ll know what you’re doing.’ He stared at me like he wanted to put his fingers round my throat and squeeze. Maybe he would, if it weren’t for Domino.

  ‘How hard can it be?’

  ‘It ain’t hard,’ he said, popping the tops off the tins, revealing the paint inside. Red, black and white. The only colours that were on the main longhouse, the one that was already decorated.

  ‘You paint the other one?’ I asked.

  ‘Mm-hm.’

  ‘It looks good.’

  ‘It does.’ He arranged his tins and brushes so they were within reach.

  ‘Did it take long?’

  ‘Couple a months.’ He handed me a brush.

  ‘What’s inside?’ I ran my fingers over the tip.

  ‘Nice try.’

  ‘You don’t like me,’ I said. ‘You don’t trust me.’

  ‘I thought you were one of us. But the way you were talking this morning, I think you still got a long way to go.’

  ‘That’s why you stopped me from leaving? That’s why you didn’t want me to go after Domino? Because you think if I leave I’m going to tell someone?’

  ‘This place is important to us,’ he said. ‘To some more than others.’

  ‘I can understand that.’

  ‘So we have to protect it.’ He looked at me. ‘Domino likes you, you must be OK. Maybe I was a bit hard on you.’


  I shrugged. ‘Nah, not really. It’s just weird, that’s all. I mean, we buried someone this morning. Like it’s normal.’

  ‘It is normal.’

  ‘Is it?’

  ‘I’m trying hard to like you, Alex, but you’re not giving me any reasons. Matt was our friend and we loved him. We did what he woulda wanted.’

  ‘Sure. Of course. Sorry. So are we going to do some painting, then?’

  There were designs all over the side of the building, some larger than others, and I watched Michael pick out a carved relief of a lizard and begin painting. I followed suit, choosing a large singa-mask design that had been carved into one of the thick wooden struts.

  ‘How long you think these have been here?’ I asked, changing the subject. I could see traces of paint etched into the veins of the dark wood and I used the barely discernible colour as my guide.

  ‘Years. Maybe hundreds.’

  ‘No idea who built them?’

  ‘Nope. Nor who lived in them. All I know is we fixed them up, made them somewhere to live.’

  ‘You put the roofs on as well? Most of the ones I’ve seen have corrugated iron.’

  ‘Me and some others. Kurt, Freia. Took a long time collecting all that fibre. And it has to be higher at the front. Took us a while to get that right. It’s supposed to mean the father of the house wants his children to reach higher in life than he has.’

  ‘And we’re all Kurt’s children,’ I mumbled to myself.

  ‘Hm?’

  ‘Nothing.’ I reloaded my paintbrush.

  ‘And did you know the father always sleeps at the front, with the children in the back?’

  ‘Kurt told you that?’

  ‘Yup.’

  ‘So, me sleeping right at the back means something?’ I said. ‘Like I’m the least important.’

  ‘You got that right. Only advantage to being there is that there’s an emergency exit.’

  ‘Emergency exit? I never noticed it.’

  ‘Well, it’s there,’ he said. ‘Right by your bed. Only alteration I made of my own. Back door. Always gotta have an exit strategy.’

  ‘Is that so?’ I squatted down to paint the lower section of the singa.

  ‘Oh yeah.’

  ‘So how long did it all take?’ I asked, keeping him talking. ‘Fixing it all up?’