All God's Creatures

by Carolyn McSparren

  Then I stood back and looked at the mess I'd made. "Okay, we've resectioned the gut and removed the dead tissue. We've gunked her up with enough lubricant to oil the wheels of commerce. Either it works, and she lives, or it doesn't, and she dies. That about it?"

  "You got it," Eli said. "How you holding up?"

  "I'm still here." I took a deep breath. "Vickie, you want to close?"

  "Sure."

  "You did good," Eli said.

  "I tried."

  "Then let's stitch this sucker."

  Eli elevated the oxygen.

  After Vickie closed, we manipulated the pulleys to slide Mariah onto the gurney, then maneuvered the still-sleeping mare into the padded recovery room. We lowered the gurney so that it fitted into the floor and locked it into place. We propped her up against bales of hay to aid her breathing, slipped out and shut the door behind us.

  I should have felt exhausted. Instead I felt elation. Mariah might still die, but I hadn't quit on her.

  I ripped off my bloody gloves and glanced down at my hands.

  No sign of a tremor.

  Eli grasped my shoulder. "Go to bed. We'll straighten up here and watch over her until she comes out of it."

  "Or doesn't come out of it," I said.

  "She's alive. Her vitals are good. You're not a bad cutter," Eli said. "For an old broad."

  "Maggie Mac," Lanier said. "You da woman!" She and Eli exchanged a high five.

  "Yeah." I slapped Eli's hand, then raised my fist toward the ceiling. "Take that, you bastard!"

  "Huh?"

  "Never mind." I eased my back with both hands, stripped off my bloody top and tossed it into the comer. "Vickie, Lanier, thanks for staying. Lanier, you ought to take Susan home."

  I walked down the hall and into the reception area. "Evan? I didn't expect to see you here."

  "How's the horse?" Evan whispered. Sarah slept cuddled against his chest.

  Susan lay with her head on the arm of her chair, finally so worn out she'd fallen asleep. Pumpkin slept at her feet.

  "Won't know for another couple of hours. If she stands up by herself, shows no sign of pain other than post surgical, eats a little hay, and poops, then she may come out of it all right."

  "And if she doesn't?"

  "She doesn't. Nothing more we can do for her except make sure she doesn't suffer. Why don't you go to bed? I can steer Sarah to her bedroom."

  Sarah stirred and stretched. "I'm awake." She allowed Evan to pull her to her feet.

  Patsy slept on one of the couches under a horse blanket. Dan stretched in one of the chairs with his head on his hand. "Patsy," I shook her shoulder.

  "Huh?"

  "She's out of surgery. Go back to your own house."

  "I want to stay."

  "Come on, Patsy. Shoo. Think you can drive safely?"

  "I can," Dan said, instantly awake. "What do you think Mariah's chances are?"

  "She's alive. We should know more by morning. You have family all day tomorrow. I'll call you as soon as we know something."

  Patsy yawned. "I'm as stiff as a poker. You ought to buy some new couches."

  "Lanier, take Susan home. She must be worn out."

  "No, Mommy," Susan said sleepily. "Have to stay."

  "Come on," Eli said. "We can bed you and your mother down on the sofa bed in my den. It's closer than Maggie's and there isn't but one step up from the driveway."

  "Noooo," Susan said, but she allowed Lanier to roll her out the back door of the clinic. Pumpkin trotted along behind her. Some time during the night he'd removed the red bow. I didn't blame him.

  "Vickie," I asked. "How about you?"

  "I'm staying right here, thank you very much." She pulled a cushion out of the seat of one of the chairs, tossed it on the floor, and sat down beside it.

  "You should be home. Your boys..."

  "Know where I am. Go, Maggie. I'll holler out the back door if there's any change."

  Eli yawned and took Evan's arm. "Come on, cowboy, your bed's at my house, remember?"

  "Not even after I've decided to make an honest woman of Sarah?"

  "Not even."

  He kissed the tip of Sarah's nose. "See you in the morning."

  She mumbled something, walked across the lawn and into our house. She shut the door of the guest room without even a goodnight.

  I lay down on the couch in the den and pulled the afghan over my shoulders. If I went upstairs to bed I'd never get up. I'd check on the mare in a couple of hours. No sense taking off my clothes.

  I meant to fall asleep immediately, but my tired brain and bruised body wouldn't let me. Finally I gave up, picked up a down jacket from the hook in the back hall and walked out to the deck. I stretched out on the chaise longue and covered myself with the jacket. I didn't dare fall asleep out here or I'd wake up in the morning with hypothermia or pneumonia.

  "Mother?"

  "Sarah?" Her voice jerked me awake.

  "What on earth are you doing out here? You'll catch your death."

  "I just stretched out for a minute. I thought you went to bed."

  Sarah pushed her sleeves into a down parka and sat on the step beside me. "I never watched you do major surgery before."

  'Were you grossed out?"

  "I thought I would be, but I wasn't. The way you all worked together so smoothly-it was like a female football team with you as the quarterback."

  "I threw a few Hail Mary passes tonight, believe me."

  "Will Mariah live?"

  "I don't know."

  "Susan will be devastated if she dies."

  "Yes, she will." I didn't want to think about that. I knew Sarah was remembering Pride's death and what it did to her. To us. So I changed the subject. "Your Evan's a nice man. Did I hear something about marrying you?"

  "Yup. Mother. I have to tell you something."

  "Okay."

  "If I'm going to marry Evan, I have to get some things clear between us. All my life I resented not being at the top of your list of priorities. I wanted you to put me before any of the animals."

  "I did. I do."

  "You don't understand. I actually wanted you to walk away from them for me. Because human beings are more important, aren't they?"

  I slipped down to the step beside her, leaned back against the foot of the chaise and took a deep breath. "I don't feel that way. If God gave us dominion over the animals, he also gave us responsibility to go along with it. We're the ones with the big brains. If I can help them, I must."

  "Pride's death wasn't your fault." Her voice was so low I could barely make out the words. After he died, Sarah had never mentioned his name again.

  "Sarah, why did you give up riding?"

  "If you don't care about something, you don't hurt when you lose it."

  "But you did care."

  "I thought I could stop caring. I couldn't." She dropped her head. "I'm so scared of losing everything and everyone I love. And now there's Evan. How do you bear that constant fear when you have children?"

  "You grit your teeth and pray."

  "I'd want to lock my children in a padded cell. "

  I laughed. "And raise such emotionally healthy kids."

  She grinned at me. "How do you know what you're doing is right?"

  "Good grief, Sarah, you don't." I put my arm around her. Instead of pulling away as she normally did, she cuddled against me. How long had it been since I'd held her this way? I didn't want to let her go, not back to California, not to marry Evan, not to chance having a baby or going to the jungle. But I'd keep my mouth shut and send her out into the world with my fingers crossed. After a moment, I lifted Sarah's chin and brushed a strand of hair off her cheek. "Why do mothers and daughters always seem to hurt each other?"

  "You got along fine with Gram."

  I snorted. "Your grandmother went to her grave disappointed that I was a veterinarian and not a country club wife."

  "She was proud of you."

  "Oh, no she wasn't. Once when
I was just starting out, we were setting the table for Thanksgiving dinner and I was telling her about a really brilliant piece of surgery I'd pulled off. Know what she said?"

  Sarah shook her head.

  "That's nice, dear, but the dessert spoons face the other way."

  Sarah laughed.

  We sat on the step with my arms wrapped around Sarah just the way I used to when she was a very little girl. "So many stars up there. I can almost smell the dawn."

  "I was wrong. You mustn't retire," she whispered.

  "I know. Tonight when I was deep in horse guts, I decided I could never give up such a glamorous profession."

  "You could cut back. Come to Los Angeles to visit. Hire some help. And there's the wedding. We ought to have it out there where all our friends are."

  "I promise I won't get ticked off if you have to go running off to Thailand again."

  "Please be careful, Mother."

  "I will, Sarah, I promise. You be careful too." I felt warmer than I had since Morgan died, even in the chill of Christmas morning. Don't die among the alien corn, Shep had said. He was right. I belonged here, doing this job for as long as my eyes could see and my fingers hold steady.

  "Maggie!" a voice called from the darkness.

  "That's Vickie," I said.

  Sarah beat me to my feet and pulled me up.

  "Maggie, come quick!"

  "Oh, damn," I whispered and ran toward the clinic. I could hear Sarah hard on my heels and see my breath in the cold air.

  As I reached the back door of the clinic, Eli ran down the steps of her house dragging on a jacket. Zipping up his jeans one-handed, Evan pushed Susan's wheelchair at breakneck speed with the other while Pumpkin and Lanier raced to keep up.

  I followed Vickie into the clinic and turned toward the recovery stall.

  "What is it?" Susan cried.

  I put a hand against my heart. I had to stay calm. I'd be the one to put Mariah down.

  Vickie stood aside to let me look in the window of the recovery stall.

  "I'll be..."

  "What is it?" Susan begged. "Tell me, please, please."

  "Evan, help her up. Let her see."

  Evan lifted Susan to her feet and supported her to the window. "Oh, oh, oh," Susan said and burst into tears.

  "Mother?" Sarah asked.

  "Take a look."

  Sarah looked. "Mother, she's up." She laughed. "She's up."

  "That's not the best part," Vickie said. "She's still groggy, but she's nibbling hay. And look, Maggie, look there in the back of the stall."

  I looked. In the shadowy far comer of the stall steamed a small but respectable pile of fresh manure. "Hallelujah!"

  "You got your Christmas miracle," Evan said and wrapped his arms around Sarah.

  "Can I please, please go in?" Susan begged. "Just for a second?"

  "There's a step up into the stall," I said.

  "I'll help you," Lanier said.

  Susan turned to her mother. "I can do it myself."

  I caught Lanier 's eye. She looked stunned. I wanted to tell her their relationship had changed at that moment, but she'd find out soon enough.

  I opened the door to the stall. Susan lifted first one foot to the platform, then the other.

  I could hear Lanier breathing heavily behind me. I squeezed her hand.

  Susan stood erect and held out her hand. "Good girl," she crooned.

  Mariah raised her head from her hay and stretched her velvet nose forward to touch Susan's hand. Then she went back to her hay.

  Evan caught Susan as she tried to turn around. "Whoa, there, podner."

  "She knows me, I know she does," Susan said. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but her face glowed.

  "You did it, Maggie," Vickie whispered.

  "Maggie's Militia did it. Hell of a team." I glanced at my watch. "It's nearly five in the morning."

  "Christmas morning," Vickie said.

  "I'm starved. Anybody want breakfast?" I asked.

  Eli raised her eyebrows. She remembered I'd sworn not to cook Christmas breakfast.

  "Can we come back to see Mariah afterwards?" Susan asked.

  "Don't see why not."

  "Then okay."

  "Looks like Nathan and Lisa are already up," Eli said. "The lights are on in Maggie's kitchen. Come on, everybody. Let's see what we can find to eat."

  I hung back. "I have to call Patsy."

  I listened to five minutes of effusive thanks from Patsy, then walked across to my back door. I opened it a crack, heard the noise, saw too many happy people in too small a space trying to fix breakfast, and walked around to the front door.

  I held the chimes on the wreath to keep them quiet, slipped in and turned on the Christmas tree lights. I could hear the babble from the kitchen.

  "Who cleaned up after last night?" Vickie said.

  "Nathan and I." Lisa's voice. Nice girl. Nathan had done well. Evan was nice too. Maybe God had sent him to Sarah to ground her as Morgan had grounded me. I peeked into the living room. Sugar Pie and all three cats lay in a heap in front of the newly-made up fire. Pumpkin stayed in the kitchen with Susan.

  "Well, come on, Nathan, set the table," Lisa said. "Evan and I can't do this alone."

  I had started back toward the front porch when the phone rang.

  Everyone stopped speaking. Would I answer it?

  I closed my eyes. Until that moment, I'd forgotten Mike and Big Jake. Somehow God always balanced one miracle with one disaster. I picked up the phone in the front hall. "McLain," I said.

  "Doc?" Mike's voice. I sat down on the deacon's bench by the front door and dropped my head into my hand.

  "Yes, Mike? Should I come?"

  "Yes ma'am, but not'til this afternoon or tomorrow momin." He sounded positively chipper.

  I felt my heart lurch.

  "I spent all night sticking Big Jake's feet in icewater. Couple of times he tried to fall, but them ropes held him up. This momin' his temperature's down and his gut sounds normal." He snorted. "Plus he has made him a big of pile of crap. Shoot, he tried to bite me a minute ago when I stuck his front hoof in another bucket of icewater."

  I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall behind me. "You realize, he may be lame for the rest of his life."

  "Damned if I care."

  "I'll be out to see him after lunch." I said goodbye, hung up the phone, and realized I was surrounded.

  "How is he?" Sarah asked.

  All I could do was nod.

  She let out a big sigh of relief. "I'm glad."

  "I'll see him this afternoon after we open presents."

  "Mind if Sarah and I ride along?" Evan asked. "I have a warm spot in my heart for Percherons."

  Sarah smiled and took his hand.

  "Oh, Lord, the eggs!" Lisa said and scampered back toward the kitchen. Everyone but Eli trailed her.

  Eli sat on the bench beside me.

  "I'm not quitting," I said.

  "You had me worried a couple of times, but I had faith you'd come to your senses eventually."

  I stared at her open-mouthed. "Well, I'm glad one of us knew I was staying."

  "I think your idea about asking Vickie to join us is worth pursuing. I want some time off too, you know. You're not the only one who gets tired."

  I patted her arm. "There's no excuse for the bad times I've put you through this last year, Eli. I'm sorry."

  "Morgan died, Maggie. That's a pretty good reason."

  "Not one he would have approved of" I peered out the front window. "Are those snowflakes?"

  "Can't be."

  "Want to bet?" I laughed. Behind me the kitchen had descended into chaos. Nathan and Sarah and Lisa and Evan were all talking at once. I heard glassware break followed by an oath from Nathan. Chaos. Nice, familiar, happy chaos.

  I wrapped my arm around Eli's shoulders. "I think this is the place where some adenoidal tyke says something about God blessing us every one."

  Afterword

  Every
veterinarian I know is an incorrigible raconteur. The tales in All God's Creatures have been manipulated a bit to protect both the guilty and the innocent, but in essence they're true. The characters, however, are completely fictional.

  The majority of admissions to schools ofveterinary medicine these days are women. One of my female vet friends says that when the men realized that veterinary medicine was not nearly as lucrative as people medicine, that the hours were worse, the conditions often horrendous, and the patients seldom appreciative, many decided to become M. D's instead of D.V.M's. M.D's only have to treat one species. Veterinarians are expected to treat aardvarks and zebras with equal facility.

  So many people told me stories and helped with All God's Creatures. I apologize to anyone I have forgotten to thank.

  Thanks to the School of Veterinary Medicine at Mississippi State University. It is one of the finest schools in the country and produces exceptional veterinarians. I have taken advantage of their services to help one of my own fillies. I have used them as a location for several stories, not because the stories took place there, but because it's the school with which I am most familiar.

  My thanks to Phyllis Appleby, Barbara Christopher, Patricia Potter, and Kenlyn Spence for their inestimable critiques.

  Thanks also to Bobby Billingsley, Peggy Gaboury, Jimmy Langley, James Luttrell, Louise Maddox, and Sandra Chastain, animal people all, who contributed stories.

  Thanks to Elizabeth (Eli) White for graciously lending me her name.

  Thanks to veterinarians Bruce Bowling, Laurie Dilworth, Andy Livingston, Melissa Poole, Ruth Wilburn, Khaki Wright, and other vets who talked to me. They never sent me away empty when I begged them for new stories.

  Thanks to Elizabeth Burgess, R.N., M.A., who talked me through the birth of a human baby. I don't remember much about my own experience.

  My special thanks to Cindy Weis, equine practitioner and raconteuse extraordinaire, who looks after my horses so well. Cindy not only spent hours jotting down stories about her experiences, but also looked over portions of the manuscript to make certain my procedures and wording were correct. I have enough unused stories from Cindy for a whole new book.

  My deepest thanks to Debra Dixon, who helped me find myvoice, and Deborah Smith, who edited brilliantly.

  What I got right I owe to these people. Whatever I got wrong is on my own head.