Breaking Meredith

by Izzy Sweet

  For a moment, I somehow forgot where we are and why we’re here. But suddenly all the panic I was feeling earlier comes rushing back in.

  Matthew helping James seems to pacify Simon because he slumps down in his chair as I turn back to him.

  He gives me a look full of remorse. “Sorry, princess.”

  I take a deep breath, trying to settle my nerves, but I doubt all the oxygen in the world would help me right now. Not when I know what’s about to happen…

  Devoting my full attention back on Simon, I try to ignore Asad’s struggles in the corners of my eyes and focus on getting Simon’s shirt off his shoulders while hurting him as little as possible.

  Some of the blood has started to dry though, so I quite literally have to peel the shirt away from his skin.

  Once I have his shirt off and bunched at his waist, I take a step back, giving Andrew room to work.

  Andrew bends over Simon and closely examines his wound on his shoulder. Gloved fingers poking and prodding at it. “Yeah, you were only winged. A few stitches and you’ll be good to go.”

  Knowing that should flood me with relief, but I’m overwhelmed with a sense of doom.

  My eyes wander back over to the table of their own accord. Matthew is grinning as he holds Asad’s feet down so James can secure them…

  And in my eyes Matthew is no longer Matthew.

  With that grin of sick joy on his face and that dark gleam in his eyes, once again he’s transformed into that monster that’s haunted my nightmares.

  Lucifer.

  “Let’s have a look at those ribs,” I hear Andrew say.

  Asad thrashes his head back and forth, and I bet beneath his gag he’s foaming at the mouth.

  “Ah! Fuck!” Simon grunts and Andrew chuckles.

  “Yeah, they’re cracked alright. Nothing I can do about that though. It will heal on its own.”

  “Fine,” Simon hisses. “Just stitch me up. I have things to do.”

  “You got it, Spider,” Andrew says.

  I glance back at Simon. His eyes meet mine then they slide towards the table. A look of eager anticipation passes over his face and I know there’s no talking any sense into him. He’s hell-bent on doing whatever he wants to do.

  But maybe, just maybe, I can still talk some sense into Lucifer.

  Reach in and somehow connect with Matthew.

  21

  Meredith

  Squaring my shoulders, I lift my chin into the air, turn my back on Simon, and slowly approach the torture table.

  “Meredith?” I hear Simon ask behind me, but I ignore him. He’s in no place to stop me right now, but he will be in a couple of minutes.

  Sensing my approach, Lucifer turns from Asad and regards me warily. I can’t help but remember there was once a time when he would welcome me with open arms…

  I ignore his look and stop beside him.

  I afford Asad one glance and then hold my hand out to Lucifer.

  “If you give me a gun, I can end this all right now.”

  And I will. I’ll put two bullets in Asad’s ugly head if it means I can walk out of this room. I’ve already killed two men, what’s one more?

  Lucifer looks down at my hand and chuckles. “Now why would I do that, Meredith?”

  I arch my brow. “So we can all go home?”

  Lucifer shakes his head and his lips spread into a smile as if what I just said amuses him.

  I’m not giving up though.

  “Look, Matthew,” I say, trying to talk some reason into him. “Simon is injured. One of your men is dead, and another is in the hospital… Surely, we all have better things to do?”

  Lucifer inclines his head. “We do.”

  A sense of relief fills me and I almost smile.

  Then he says, “But first, this little unpleasantness needs to be seen to.”

  That’s not what I wanted to hear.

  “Why?” I demand, dropping my hand. My lips curl up into a sneer as I look to Asad. He’s stopped his thrashing to stare up at us. “He’s not worth our fucking time.”

  “I agree,” Lucifer nods. “But a message still needs to be sent.”

  I roll my eyes with disdain. “What the fuck is up with you and messages? I never had to resort to such… such…” I want to say monstrous shit, but settle on, “brutal tactics,” instead.

  Lucifer’s icy blue eyes light up with amusement and I don’t understand what’s he’s getting at when he asks, “Didn’t you?”

  I scowl and shake my head slowly. “No… No, I never did. Unlike you, I’m not a fucking monster.”

  All the amusement fades from Lucifer’s face and his expression grows cold. So very cold. “Even after all these years, you still think the worst of me?”

  I take a small step back instinctually and remind him. “Yes. You didn’t have to cut that poor man to pieces.”

  Lucifer’s icy eyes are as cold and hard as a glacier as he says, “I did it to protect you.”

  Well, that’s a new one. But he must be lying. There was no reason for him to torture that fucking stranger to protect me…

  “Oh no, don’t you dare try to put that on me!” I snap back. “You did it because you wanted to. You did it because you got off on it.”

  “Oh yes,” Lucifer says with relish and takes a step towards me. “I fucking enjoyed it.”

  I take a hasty step back, needing to put some more distance between us, when that damn cracked heel of mine snaps.

  Lucifer’s arm whips out and he grabs me to steady me. He pulls me up so I don’t fall on my ass. “I enjoyed every one of his fucking screams after he admitted what he planned to do to you.”

  I shake my head and try to rip my arm out of his hand but his grip tightens. “Do you know where I found him, Meredith? What I found him doing in our house? I found him sniffing through your panties after he raided all your jewelry.”

  I stop fighting him and struggle to balance myself on one heel. Yeah, that revelation is extremely unpleasant, and I certainly don’t enjoy the visual, but it still doesn’t justify what he did.

  “So? He was a fucking creep? That didn’t mean you had to torture him to death,” I argue.

  Yet even to my own ears the argument is sounder weaker and weaker.

  “You only say that because you don’t know what he planned to do. He was going to come back, Meredith, and I put an end to that.”

  I suck in a deep breath, letting that sink into my head. If the man was truly out to hurt me… Fuck.

  But, “Still…”

  “You think he was the first fucker to come sniffing after you? He wasn’t, but he was the fucking last. You have to admit, dear sister, you have a tendency to attract psychos.”

  His eyes slide over my head and I have no doubt that he’s looking to Simon.

  Oh that’s rich, coming from him.

  I jerk my arm hard out of his grip and curse my unsteady balance on my one heel.

  Before I can say another word, Lucifer orders, “James, get my sister a chair.”

  James shakes his head as if he’s snapping out of something and is quick to jump to Lucifer’s bidding. Coming around the table, he grabs one of the last two unused chairs and carries it over to me.

  “Thank you, James.” I smile gratefully at him and sit down.

  James smiles back and nods his head. Then Lucifer squats down.

  Before I can stop him, he grabs the foot that’s wearing my one good heel. He snaps the heel off and then tosses it to the side.

  “There,” he smirks and rises. “Now I won’t have to worry about you twisting your ankle.”

  I shake my head, drop my foot to the floor, and frown up at him. How can one man be so considerate yet still be such a fucking monster? I’ve never been able to understand it.

  He’s always been a bit protective of me, especially after my mother passed when we were children. And I’ve only seen him treat his own family, Lily, Evelyn, Adam, and little David, with fondness.

  Yet he fucki
ng kills people. Not only kills them but tortures them for thrills…

  But maybe he’s not irredeemable. Maybe I can show him a better way. Maybe I can save him and still put an end to this madness.

  “You know, Matthew,” I say quietly for only him to hear. “I never had to kill or torture my marks when I was done with them. I destroyed their lives in other ways. Destroyed them so thoroughly they never came after me.”

  Lucifer tips his head back and laughs as if I just said something funny and I squirm in my seat uncomfortably.

  What the fuck about that is so funny?

  “Oh, they came after you, Meredith,” he says, his chin dropping back down and his eyes gleaming.

  What?

  I scowl and start to correct him. Surely, he’s not calling my integrity into question? “No, I—”

  Lucifer stares me hard in the eyes as he cuts me off and says, “They came after you.”

  I snap my jaw shut and glare at him. Now he’s just being ridiculous. Does he really think I’m going to fall for…

  “The ones who weren’t already dead from suicide or locked up in prison, that is.”

  No.

  No, that’s not true. Yet a little tendril of doubt wiggles its way into my mind. What does Lucifer know that I don’t know?

  “Honestly, Meredith, you’re smarter than that,” Lucifer smirks. “Do you think the type of men you picked for your marks were the type to let what you did go?”

  Yes, I did, in fact. But when he says it like that…

  “What are you saying, Matthew?”

  “I’m saying you’re correct. You didn’t have to kill your marks. But you didn’t have to kill them because I did it for you.”

  “No,” I say and jump up from my chair.

  Lucifer places one hand on my shoulder and gently but firmly pushes me back down. “Sit down, Meredith.”

  “You’re lying. You’re trying to twist everything,” I accuse him.

  And it’s completely outlandish. There’s no way he killed…

  Matthew starts ticking off his fingers. “Russel Clay. Daniel Smith. Edward Watson. Sebastian Martìnez. Lorenzo De Luca. Alastair Walker the third.”

  Each name he speaks is like a sucker-punch straight to the chest.

  He inclines his head as all the blood drains from my face. “Shall I go on?”

  “You didn’t,” I gasp, my lungs suddenly struggling to bring in air.

  “Of course I did. They came after you so I fucking killed them. What did you think happened? Did you honestly believe they just disappeared?” he ends with a sneer.

  I shake my head and blink my eyes. The fucking room is spinning as I try to wrap my mind around this. If he’s not lying then everything I’ve believed about myself, about my life for the last five years isn’t true.

  “Now, granted, I didn’t make examples out of them because I wanted to continue to indulge you. But I see that was a mistake now.”

  Oh my god, they’re all dead. He really fucking killed them…

  “How could you?” I ask him as the first tear rolls down my cheek.

  The confidence I’ve found over the past few years, my goals, my purpose, my fucking reason for breathing, it was all a lie.

  A fucking lie.

  And recognizing it breaks something deep inside me. Shatters it to pieces.

  “How could I what? How could I fucking protect you?”

  “You let me believe…” I trail off, laugh bitterly, and shake my head.

  He let me believe I was making a mark on the world. Oh, I’ve made a mark alright. I’ve painted a large swath of blood across it.

  “Yes, I let you believe that a beautiful woman like you can live and prosper in this world without a man to protect her, and I regret that. I regret that my indulgence has brought us to this moment. But it’s time to put an end to this, Meredith.”

  Thank god he didn’t give me a gun, because I think at this moment I could fucking kill him.

  “Why?” I reach out and grab his hand as he starts to turn away from me. “Why did you do it? Why did you fucking indulge me?” I ask, my tear-blurred eyes searching his face as I continue to struggle with the destruction of my existence.

  Matthew looks me hard and deep in the eyes and something flickers inside them. A warmth I haven’t seen in what feels like forever. A warmth he hasn’t shown me since I ran out of that basement screaming.

  He squeezes my hand as he answers, “Because you’re my sister.”

  God help me, when he says it like that, I want to forgive him. I want to put everything in the past behind us and start over fresh again.

  But I can’t sit here and be a part of a man being tortured. I just can’t.

  “Matthew, please,” I plead, squeezing his hand back. If he cares about me, truly cares about me as he claims, he won’t put me through this. “We don’t have to do it like this. We don’t have to torture him. We can kill him and we can all go home.”

  He closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. I know I’m trying his patience, but I’m still hoping logic and reason will win out. That it will spare me the nightmare that’s about to happen.

  “We could,” he says, his eyes flashing open. “We could put a couple of bullets in his head and mail him back to his father and hope that that’s the end of it. But then, seeing his beloved son with only two holes in his head might only further anger the father.”

  “It would be a risk, yes,” I admit, and the small bubble of hope I was nursing inside me deflates as I start to realize his reasoning behind this.

  Matthew nods his head sharply. “Yes, it would be quite the risk. His father might become confused and not realize that we mean fucking business. That no one fucks with our family and gets away with it.”

  I drop Matthew’s hand.

  “Today it was Bryant, Johnathan, and Simon,” he says, his face flushing red with anger. “Tomorrow it could be Lily, my children, you, or my unborn niece or nephew.”

  His eyes flick down to my stomach and unconsciously I place my hand over it.

  My baby. If I truly am pregnant like Simon says, I’ll do anything… anything to protect my child.

  Fuck. Now I understand why Matthew did what he did.

  “Is that a risk you’re willing to take, Meredith? Are you willing to put that burden on your head?”

  Oh god. Could I ever forgive myself if something happened to them? Could I live with myself knowing I didn’t do everything in my power to prevent it?

  There’s already so much blood on my hands… so much…

  I shake my head, the tears streaming down my face in earnest now. “No…”

  “Then you agree with what we’re about to do?”

  As much as I hate it, as much as it turns my fucking stomach, I find myself nodding my head.

  “Good,” Matthew says and turns away from me. “Are you about done, Andrew?”

  I glance over to see Andrew nod his head and squat back down to rummage in his backpack. “Yeah, just finished putting in the last stitch.”

  Simon’s eyes meet mine over Andrew’s head and there’s so much intensity in them it steals my breath.

  “You want something for the pain?” Andrew asks and Simon’s attention drops down to him.

  “Yes, I want something for the fucking pain,” he snarls.

  Andrew nods his head and pops up holding a syringe.

  As Andrew gives the syringe a tap, Simon asks, “Why didn’t you offer earlier?”

  Andrew shrugs and smirks. “You didn’t ask, Spider.”

  I wipe at my eyes with the back of my hand as Andrew finds a suitable vein on Simon’s arm and administers the painkiller.

  “You’re ready to go,” Andrew says, withdrawing the needle and taking a step back.

  Simon closes his eyes and leans his head back, moving his neck around. When his head snaps back up and his eyes flash open, once again they’re on me.

  Rising from the chair, shirtless and covered in wounds, he looks
downright savage. He looks like a scarier version of the beast that comes out when he takes me.

  He stalks over to me, his long legs easily eating up the distance.

  I shrink back in my chair, the look on his face giving my heart palpitations. I know he, and everyone else in this room, overheard every word Matthew and I spoke.

  Is he angry? Is he going to shatter my world even more? Stomp all over the fucking pieces and grind them into the floor?

  Simon stops in front of me and locks eyes with Matthew.

  Something unspoken passes between them as they stand eye to eye. Two behemoths that make me feel so fucking small at this moment…

  Matthew steps to the side with a smirk and a nod.

  Whatever painkiller Andrew administered must be strong as fuck because Simon bends over, grabs me by the face, and gives me a kiss that’s so deep, so fucking hard, I moan into his mouth.

  Pulling back, he stares deep into my eyes. “I’m going to make him pay for all of this, princess,” he promises. “I’m going to make him bleed for every fucking tear.”

  I start to open my mouth to speak but he claims it again. With his tongue, teeth, and lips, he speaks to me, showing me what words could never adequately tell.

  By the time he pulls away, I’m flushed and panting. No longer chilled by the sense of doom lingering in the air.

  His thumbs stroke against my cheek and then he slowly lowers one hand down. His palm covers my belly and his eyes lower.

  An expression of pure devotion passes over his features.

  “Remember my promise? I protect what’s mine,” he growls.

  Fuck. It’s sick, so sick, to be feeling this at this moment, but I can’t help it. He just totally turned me on.

  Pulling away like it’s the last thing he wants to do, he straightens. Then he glances at Matthew.

  “I’ll stay with her,” Matthew smirks.

  Simon nods.

  Casting one last possessive glance back at me, Simon stalks towards the table.

  “Well, as much as I’d like to stay for the party,” Andrew says, rising with a grunt and sliding his backpack over his shoulder. “I’m going to head over to the hospital and check on Johnathan.”