Wild & Hexy
Page 1
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Epilogue
Praise for Over Hexed
‘‘A snappy, funny, romantic novel.’’
—New York Times bestselling author Carly Phillips
‘‘Filled with laughs, this is a charmer of a book.’’
—The Eternal Night
‘‘The same trademark blend of comedy and heart that won Thompson’s Nerd series a loyal following.’’
—Publishers Weekly
‘‘Thompson mixes magic, small-town quirkiness, and passionate sex for a winsome effect.’’ —Booklist
‘‘A warm and funny novel . . . you find yourself cheering. I would definitely recommend it.’’
—The Road to Romance
‘‘This novel was brilliant. I laughed until I cried, and it was a very fast read for me. This genre is the beginning of a new series for Thompson, and if this novel is any indication of the following books, then Thompson has hit the jackpot.’’
—Romance Readers at Heart
‘‘Vicki Lewis Thompson has a true flair for humor. Pick up Over Hexed and be prepared to be amused, delighted, and satisfied as Vicki Lewis Thompson takes you on an unforgettable ride.’’ —Single Titles
‘‘Vicki Lewis Thompson sure delivers with Over Hexed. . . . A lighthearted tale that won’t soon be forgotten." —Fallen Angel Reviews
‘‘With her wonderful talent of lighthearted humor, Vicki Lewis Thompson pens an enchanting tale for her amorous characters, steeping it in magic and enough passion to scorch the pages.’’ —Darque Reviews
‘‘Vicki Lewis Thompson has created another romance blended with humor to make you beg for more.’’
—Once Upon a Romance Reviews
And for the other novels of Vicki Lewis Thompson
‘‘Count on Vicki Lewis Thompson for a sharp, sassy, sexy read. Stranded on a desert island? I hope you’ve got this book in your beach bag.’’
—Jayne Ann Krentz
‘‘Wildly sexy . . . a full complement of oddball characters . . . sparkles with sassy humor.’’
—Library Journal
‘‘A riotous cast of colorful characters. . . . Fills the pages with hilarious situations and hot, creative sex.’’
—Booklist
‘‘Smart, spunky, and delightfully over-the-top.’’
—Publishers Weekly
‘‘[A] lighthearted and frisky tale of discovery between two engaging people.’’ —The Oakland Press (MI)
‘‘Delightfully eccentric . . . humor, mystical ingredients, and plenty of fun . . . a winning tale.’’
—The Best Reviews
‘‘A funny and thrilling ride!’’
—Romance Reviews Today
"A hilarious romp." —Romance Junkies
"Extremely sexy . . . over-the-top . . . sparkling.’’
—Rendezvous
‘‘A whole new dimension in laughter. A big . . . Bravo!’’ —A Romance Review
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First published by Onyx, an imprint of New American Library,
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First Printing, June 2008
Copyright © Vicki Lewis Thompson, 2008
All rights reserved
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For Debbie Macomber, who understands this crazy
business better than almost anyone. Thank you
for your friendship and for so generously sharing
your hard-earned knowledge. May I someday be
as savvy and well organized as you!
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
No author is an island, or even a small continent. I wouldn’t be able to function without my valuable people connections. That’s especially true of my daughter and assistant, Audrey Sharpe. I’ve also enjoyed wonderful support from everyone at New American Library, especially Claire Zion, Hilary Dowling, and Elizabeth Tabor. My professional life would truly suffer without agents Robert Gottlieb and Jenny Bent. Thank you all for making me look good!
Prologue
"I had a chat with our lake monster this morning." Dorcas Lowell gazed at her companions from behind her black marble desk. How she enjoyed dropping bombshells during Monday staff meetings.
Her husband, Ambrose, and her assistant, Maggie Madigan, looked gratifyingly shocked. Sabrina, the black cat curled in Ambrose’s lap, sat upright and blinked, which was as shocked as Sabrina ever allowed herself to be.
Ambrose recovered first, and he was furious. ‘‘Look, we agreed you wouldn’t—’’
‘‘The lake monster speaks Engl
ish?’’ Maggie leaned forward in her chair.
‘‘Who cares?’’ As Ambrose stood, Sabrina leaped onto the polished desk. ‘‘You should never have gone there alone. Anything could have—’’
‘‘But nothing did.’’ Dorcas stroked Sabrina and smiled at her husband. He was so cute when he was mad. He would never have approved of her going to see the lake monster alone, but she’d known instinctively that was the way to approach the problem.
Ambrose glowered at her. ‘‘You might have been killed.’’
‘‘Nonsense.’’ Dorcas gently extricated her notes from underneath Sabrina’s paws. ‘‘Would you like to hear my report?’’
Ambrose sat down with a martyred sigh. ‘‘Might as well, considering you risked your life to get it.’’
‘‘I did nothing of the kind.’’ Dorcas put on her jeweled reading glasses and consulted what she’d written. ‘‘In a nutshell, Dee-Dee is lonely.’’
‘‘Hold on, Dorcas.’’ Ambrose obviously still had his snit going. ‘‘Matchmaking for humans is one thing, but we’re not matchmaking for a lake monster. End of story.’’
‘‘Why not?’’ Maggie’s voice quivered with anticipation. ‘‘Couldn’t you bring a mate to the lake?’’
‘‘Ye gods.’’ Ambrose glared at his wife. ‘‘Please don’t tell me you’re considering that.’’
‘‘No, sweetie, I’m not.’’
Maggie made a sound of protest. ‘‘But—’’
‘‘Sorry, Maggie. It’s out of the question.’’ Dorcas turned to her with a tolerant smile. From the moment Maggie had discovered that Dorcas and Ambrose had magical powers, she’d acted like a kid with a new Xbox. When she’d moved here from Houston to get married, she’d immediately asked to work for them in their matchmaking business. A nonmagical person such as Maggie usually thought that witches and wizards could do anything.
‘‘I don’t understand the problem, Dorcas,’’ Maggie said.
‘‘Transporting a grown male lake monster here would take more powerful magic than Ambrose and I could manufacture by ourselves.’’
Ambrose snorted. ‘‘You think?’’
‘‘But you guys have connections. The Grand High Wizard was just here this weekend. I’ll bet he—’’
‘‘He wouldn’t do it,’’ Dorcas said. ‘‘For one thing, it violates the original contract made with Dee-Dee when she arrived here, which says she’s not to have any contact with people, magical or non. Cecil would never approve.’’
‘‘But you’ve already had contact,’’ Maggie pointed out.
‘‘Which I hope Cecil never discovers, but I happen to think this needs solving. Unfortunately, bringing in a mate couldn’t be done without somebody noticing. Imagine a creature the size of the Goodyear blimp cruising over our unsuspecting neighbors. You don’t see that so much here in Big Knob, Indiana. The residents would get hysterical.’’
‘‘And then we’d have a monster hunt on our hands,’’ Ambrose added. ‘‘Once they’re alerted to strange creatures in the area, they could easily find George. The only reason they haven’t discovered that a dragon lives in the forest at the edge of town is because it never occurred to them there was one there.’’
Maggie nodded. ‘‘I see your point. I don’t want to endanger George.’’
‘‘Neither do I,’’ Dorcas said, although most of the time she longed to give that silly dragon a kick in the patoot. If he’d paid more attention to his duties as the Guardian of Whispering Forest, she and Ambrose would be off the job and headed home to Sedona by now. Instead, by order of the Grand High Wizard, they were stuck in this one-dragon town until George earned his golden scales. They’d already waited months for that, and there was no end in sight.
‘‘So if we’re not going to find Dee-Dee a mate,’’ Ambrose said, ‘‘what are we going to do about her?’’
‘‘I’m not sure yet.’’ Dorcas tapped her glowing pen against her lips. ‘‘She needs more study.’’
Ambrose’s scowl had returned. ‘‘Next time, I’m going with you, and I’m bringing my staff. Did you even take your wand along?’’
‘‘I went unarmed, to gain her trust. And you may not come with me next time. This is delicate. Something only a woman would understand.’’
‘‘Then can I go?’’ Maggie looked as if she could barely contain herself. She obviously loved being an insider, the only Big Knob resident who knew that Dorcas was a witch and Ambrose a wizard. Even Maggie’s husband, Sean, didn’t know, although he’d been their first nonmagical client. Sean thought they were relationship counselors.
‘‘Maybe you can go,’’ Dorcas said. ‘‘But let’s wait a bit. I wouldn’t want Dee-Dee to think I’m gossiping about her secrets. She’s vulnerable right now.’’
Ambrose rolled his eyes. ‘‘Nothing that weighs two tons is vulnerable, Dorcas.’’
‘‘That’s what you think. Okay, what else do we have this morning, gang?’’
‘‘I have something.’’ Maggie reached into her briefcase, pulled out a folder and shoved it across the desk toward Dorcas. ‘‘You both know Jeremy Dunstan. He’s a good friend of Sean’s.’’ Maggie’s eyes sparkled whenever she spoke of her husband.
As Dorcas thought of the match she and Ambrose had orchestrated between Maggie and Sean, she reminded herself that being sentenced to dragon duty hadn’t been all bad. The Grand High Wizard’s decree had lost some of its sting now that she and Ambrose were using their matchmaking skills on the good citizens of Big Knob.
‘‘Of course I know Jeremy,’’ Ambrose said. ‘‘I was just in his Internet café yesterday, surfing the Web.’’
Dorcas wasn’t surprised. The Internet was Ambrose’s new fixation. He’d recently created a MySpace page for himself. ‘‘Does Jeremy want our help?’’ she asked Maggie.
‘‘Of course he wouldn’t want it,’’ Maggie said. ‘‘But he needs it. I’m sure we can figure out a way to help him without his knowledge.’’
Intrigue. Dorcas relished it. Smiling at Maggie, she opened the folder and found a neatly typed prospectus for a new matchmaking scheme between Jeremy and Annie Winston, sister of Melody. Melody was getting married next weekend with Annie as maid of honor and Jeremy as best man. Nice setup.
Dorcas flipped through the contents of the folder. It was a common story. Back in school, shy Jeremy had lost out to the football hero, but now Annie and the football hero were divorced. ‘‘Jeremy still loves her?’’ Dorcas asked.
‘‘That’s what Sean says.’’ Maggie ran a hand through her short red curls. ‘‘I wormed the story out of him this weekend.’’
Dorcas continued to read. ‘‘Annie was voted Miss Dairy Queen the summer before her senior year. What’s that all about?’’
‘‘It’s Big Knob’s annual Dairy Festival that takes place next month,’’ Maggie said. ‘‘It’s the highlight of June around here, and according to Sean, being elected queen is a huge deal. I’m sure Jeremy was intimidated by that, too.’’
Dorcas looked at Ambrose. His anger over the Dee-Dee incident seemed to have subsided. Although Dorcas ran the Monday morning staff meetings, Ambrose kept track of appointments, so he would know if they had time for this project.
She closed the folder. ‘‘What do you think, Ambrose? Can we fit Jeremy into the schedule?’’
Her husband reached for the appointment book sitting beside his chair and thumbed through it. Because matchmaking wasn’t a full-time job in a town with only 948 residents, and because it usually involved unsuspecting clients, they’d decided never to charge for it. To stay busy and bring in a little extra cash, they’d taken on some marriage counseling, as well.
He glanced up. ‘‘We can make the time providing you lay off this Dee-Dee situation for now.’’
Dorcas recognized blackmail when she heard it. But for now was a vague term, and she could work around it. She scratched behind Sabrina’s ears. ‘‘Okay.’’
‘‘Then I guess we’re in business,’’ A
mbrose said. ‘‘Jeremy and Annie will be our next matchmaking clients. When does Annie arrive in town?’’
‘‘Today.’’
Ambrose closed the appointment book and stood. ‘‘Then we’ll have to work fast.’’
Chapter 1
"Suck it in." Melody tugged on the back zipper of Annie’s peach-colored matron-of-honor dress.
‘‘I used the measurements from when I made your wedding dress,’’ their mother said, sounding anxious. ‘‘But I must have transposed some numbers.’’
‘‘It’s not your mistake, Mom.’’ Annie was too mortified to admit that she was twenty pounds past those old measurements. She’d planned to lose the weight before the wedding. Then Melody had moved up the date by six months.
But, fat or skinny, Annie looked hellacious in peach, which might be why Melody had chosen it, the little snot. The bridesmaids would be in pale blue, but Melody had saddled Annie with a contrasting color, a color that made her skin look sallow and her blond hair brassy.
Annie held her breath, closed her eyes and prayed the damned zipper would close.
‘‘Got it!’’
When Annie opened her eyes, Melody and her mother stood looking at her. They were in identical poses, hands on hips, gazes scanning the dress. Neither of them seemed pleased.
That made three of them. Annie could imagine the picture she presented stuffed into this tight dress—like a shrimp ready for the barbie.
‘‘Too much cleavage,’’ her mother said.
‘‘My thoughts, exactly. Maybe a brooch.’’ Melody walked over and tried to drag the edges of the neckline closer together.
Annie stepped back. ‘‘I wouldn’t do that if I were—’’ The sound of popping seams said it all.
‘‘Oh, dear.’’ Her mother hurried over and touched the splitting side seams, as if she could work some healing magic by a laying on of hands. ‘‘Faulty thread. I must have used faulty thread and I just didn’t notice.’’
‘‘The problem’s me.’’ Annie couldn’t bear to have her mother take the rap for this. ‘‘I’ve gained a little weight.’’ Thumbscrews wouldn’t get her to admit how much, though.