by Hazel Kelly
"Are you kidding? When you said you were going as Zombie Miss America for Halloween, I knew it was more than puppy love."
"Shut up." She shook her head and took a swig of champagne. "I was so gross no one could even look at me. And for real, gross. No special effects."
"I could look at you."
She narrowed her eyes at me. "Yeah. I guess you could."
"You'll always be Miss America to me."
"Seriously, stop. I'm not that depressed. And I'm no Miss America."
"Only because you're too smart," I said. "But I'll always see you that way."
She cocked her head. "What way? As a zombie head attached to a fourteen year old's body?"
I smiled. "Something like that."
"Wonderful."
"Now it's your turn to tell me you find me similarly irresistible."
"In your dreams, Shane."
She didn't know the half of it.
I watched a half dry wisp of hair fall in her face, and as she pushed it back behind her ear, the thin strap of her dress fell down over her smooth shoulder.
There was no bra strap beneath it, and I felt knots in all the most dangerous places.
She caught me staring as she pulled the strap back on her shoulder. "Don't be gross."
"You don't think I'm gross."
She blushed.
I felt a surge below the belt that made me forget all about our history for a moment.
"Maybe not," she said. "But I'm sure that's only because we've been friends for so long."
Friends. At one point, the label might've been a source of pride, but now it just felt like a curse.
"And if you met me now?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
She dropped her chin. "Are you fishing for compliments? Is your ego really that delicate?"
"No. I’m just genuinely curious."
"You're not my type."
"It's cause I'm too handsome and clever, isn't it?"
She drained her drink but kept an eye on me.
"Or is it my muscles?" I asked. "Do you think there are too many of them?"
She leaned away to top up her mug of champagne. "All that and more."
"Mmm."
"Why do you ask?"
I shrugged. "I'm trying to figure out if you'll be able to keep your hands off me if I ask you to my barn dance."
"Excuse me?"
"Sorry. What I meant to say was, will you accompany me to my barn dance next weekend?"
She furrowed her brow. "As your date?"
"Only because you can't come as my hat."
"Smart ass."
"What do you say?" I asked, draining my beer and trying to act calmer than I felt.
"I say thanks but no thanks."
My chest tightened.
"I know I've had a trying weekend, but I don't need a pity date. I can pick myself up just fine.
"It's not a pity date."
"What is it then?" She raised her drink to her lips.
"It's a barn dance."
"I get that, but why are you asking me? What about all the girls you usually ask to this stuff?"
"All what girls?"
"I don’t know. The Theta with the legs?"
"We're just friends.
"Or that pretty Indian girl? Or the gymnast you used to-"
"For someone that's not your type you certainly know a lot about-"
"What? Things you've told me?"
"Obviously I've said too much, and I apologize for that."
She waved the comment away with her hand. "It's fine.”
“No really. Let me make it up to you by taking you to my barn dance."
Chapter 15: Andi
I could tell by the steely look in his eyes that he was serious, but I was afraid to get swept up in the invitation, afraid the night would be all kinds of torturous if I said yes.
I knew he'd be in jeans and a plaid shirt and that was my kryptonite. I could resist a pop star or a pro athlete no problem, but give me a cowboy or a lumberjack any day and-
"I don't know," I said. "Won't it be crawling with sorority girls who'll just give me dirty looks because I'm sisterless and letterless and spent less than a week picking out my outfit?"
"No."
“Yeah, right.” Men were so oblivious.
"If anyone's going to be giving you dirty looks, it's me."
My eyes grew wide.
"Isn’t that what a good date does?”
God what I wouldn't give to be the girl Shane shot dirty looks at. Even if it was just for one night. "You wouldn't dare."
"I would," he said. "Especially if you wear pigtails for me."
I laughed. "First of all, if I wear pigtails, it will be for myself."
"The motivation isn't what concerns me."
"Second of all, I know you're just trying to cheer me up, but you've already done that brilliantly so you're off the hook. I appreciate the gesture and grant you the freedom to go forth and ask whoever you want."
"I'm flattered that you think I'm being chivalrous, but I'm actually not." His eyes dropped to my lips.
My heart stopped beating.
"But since you're hell bent on backing me into a corner, I guess I'll tell you the truth."
"Which is?"
"That I'm asking you for purely selfish reasons."
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh?"
"Because ever since I picked up that stuff for you yesterday, all I can think about is getting you in some high boots."
I pulled my knees up on the couch and faced him. "You're ridiculous."
"And you're my first choice."
I pursed my lips. Any other girl would say yes in an instant. He wasn't the kind of guy women said no to.
"And it has nothing to do with pity. It's because last night was the most fun I've had in a long time, and I want to spend some time with you before some other asshole sweeps you off your feet and you stop hanging out with me again."
"It didn't happen like that."
"Yeah, it did," he said. "But I was partly responsible because I couldn’t bear to-"
I tilted an ear towards him.
"Just let me take you out and remind you how you deserve to be treated before you put yourself back on the market."
I took a deep breath.
"It's been too long since you went out with a gentleman."
I smiled. "And that's you, is it?"
He nodded. "Pigtails are optional."
I rolled my eyes. "And if I say no?"
"You won't."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Cause you love a theme party."
"True."
"And cause you owe me one."
I took a sip of champagne and felt the bubbles tickle my brain. "I thought you helped me out with Mike out of the goodness of your heart."
"Nope."
"So he was right about your ulterior motives?"
"Completely."
I couldn't tell if he was joking. "And you thought he was a useless meathead."
"I did."
"Fine."
He smiled. "You could at least pretend to be excited."
"I am. I'm sure it'll be fun."
He nodded. "It always is."
"Plus, we're seniors. It's kind of my last chance to go to one, isn't it?"
"I’d rather think of it more like there's a first time for everything."
The look in his eye made my heart rattle in my chest.
I desperately wanted to ask if it was a date. Like a walk you home and kiss you at the end of the night kind of date.
But I didn't think I could ask that without sounding hopeful.
I brought my fingers to the cut on my lip. "I hope this heals by then."
"I'm sure it will," he said. "And even if it doesn't, half your face could be scabby and covered in Neosporin and I'd still be honored to have you as my date."
I swallowed. Was there a word for this feeling? When someone else had the power to make you feel pretty even when you felt li
ke you were dragging your feet along rock bottom?
Maybe I wouldn't regret saying yes.
Maybe he would even stay the night if I asked. I mean, I wasn't that worried about Mike coming back. I'd never seen him look so defeated.
But Shane didn't know that. And whether it was an accident or not, he'd hardly left me alone since I asked him for his help, his company.
I should've gone to him a long time ago. The first time this happened. He would've knocked some sense into me the right way, the way Mike never did.
My lips fell apart.
He raised his eyebrows.
"Do you want to-" My tongue swelled in my mouth. Asking him to stay would completely cancel out my nonchalance at his barn dance invitation.
"What?"
The clock on the wall started ticking over everything.
"You probably can't, but-"
"Can't what?"
He was too beautiful, too perfect. Having his attention was too much. It made me feel like Cinderella when the prince can't see anyone but her.
"What are you trying to ask me, Andi?"
The sound of the key in the lock shook me from my trance.
"Andi?" Steph called, opening the door as far as the short chain would allow. "Can you unbarricade the door please?"
I looked at Shane. "Never mind," I said, prying myself off the couch and swerving towards the door. "Hey Steph. One second." I undid the locks and pulled the door open.
Steph had that healthy glow she always had when she came back from one of her Jesus love fests.
"How was it?"
"Great," she said. "Tiring, but well worth it for the- Shane." Her eyes found him across the room. "What a nice surprise."
"Hey Steph," he said.
She looked back and forth between us, doubtlessly noticing the booze on the table. "Am I interrupting something?"
"Nope," Shane said, standing. "I was just leaving, actually." He drained his beer and bent over to grab his empties off the table.
"Don't worry about those," I said. "I'll take care of it."
"You sure?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Well it was nice to see you, Shane. Sorry if I cut the party short," Steph said, sliding her duffel bag down the hall with her foot.
"Not at all," he said.
Steph picked up her bag, looked at me, and pointed down the hall. "I'll just go drop my stuff and let you guys… yeah."
Shane walked up to the door with his hands in his pockets. "Thanks for the fine drinks and company."
I smiled. "You’re very welcome."
"If I fail my econ test tomorrow, I'm going to hold you personally responsible- but otherwise no regrets."
"If it were anyone else, I'd say you were a fool to spend the day drinking instead of studying, but you've never flunked a test in your life."
"True, but like I said-" He stepped into my space in a way I wasn't used to. "There's a first time for everything."
"Don't be a stranger," I said, opening the door.
He gave me one last smile before stepping out. It was full of something mischievous and knowing.
I closed the door and felt my chest loosen like it hadn't since he arrived, and I was about to slide the chain in the first lock when I heard a tap on the door.
I opened it again and let my eyes travel from the wildflowers under his feet up to his face.
"I forgot something," Shane said.
"Oh." I took a step back and opened the door wider so he could walk back in.
But he only took one step. Right up to me. And in the same swift motion, he slid one hand around my lower back and pulled my hair back with the other.
Then he kissed me before I even registered what was happening.
His lips were soft and warm and his tongue pushed slowly in my mouth, surprisingly gently considering the way he'd grabbed me and pulled me to him.
I felt limp in his arms as I bowed against him, my chest crushed against his and the bulge in his pants hardening against my stomach.
After a few swirls of his tongue, I found the strength to raise my hands and grip the sides of his shoulders.
When he set me back down, I felt as incapable of standing as a Barbie doll and fell against the doorframe.
"Okay," he said. "I think that's everything."
I sighed and watched him walk down the hallway.
Maybe there was a first time for everything.
Chapter 16: Shane
My feet barely met the pavement on the walk home, and moving forward required no energy whatsoever.
It was as if I were on thrusters, kicking up a wake of good vibes behind me as I headed back to the house.
Where did little Andi Oliver learn to kiss like that? And why the fuck wasn't I informed?
Not that she was little anymore.
She was a woman now- with curves in all the right places- and no amount of denying that in my head was going to make my body forget it.
Not now. Not after holding her to me like that and feeling the way her breasts felt against my chest.
God help me if I really got her pulse racing, her breath panting against my ear, her hands on my…
I forced the air from my lungs, ran my fingers through my hair, and tried to figure out exactly when she got so damn sexy and why the hell I'd pretended not to see it for so long.
But of course I knew.
Because this whole thing was a recipe for disaster.
We'd been friends for so long- all three of us.
I'd always been the guy she came to when someone else broke her heart. I wasn't supposed to be the one breaking it.
But I didn't want to break it.
Still, I wasn't naive enough to think there was no risk. She was feisty, foolish, and wickedly funny. I didn't normally go out with girls like that.
My dating history read like a list of genuine Miss America wannabes. To say they were as simple as they were pretty wouldn't be unfair.
It's not that I was intimidated by complicated women. Lord knows my sister was the melodramatic queen of dichotomies. Life was just easier that way.
Predictable women didn't cause much trouble. They were easy to manage, easy to satisfy. The majority of them weren't clever enough to hide their feelings, which didn't always make things delightful, but it kept things straightforward.
So I could still have a life and sex.
The closest I'd ever been to dating a complicated woman was with Sonia from my econ class. She was by far the most intelligent woman I'd bedded in years, but she and I would never be serious.
We'd already discussed at length how important her cultural traditions were to her, and she had every intention of marrying a nice Hindi boy that her parents approved of. In fact, I got the sense that she already knew who it was going to be.
So there was no pressure there. Just fun.
What’s more, I never stuck with one girl for any kind of celebratory amount of time. I tired of most of them too quickly and then did my best to drift off their radar.
But would I even feel compelled to do that with Andi?
I hadn't tired of her in fifteen years. If anything, I found her more interesting with every year that went by.
I turned down the street and lifted my face towards the last streaks of sunset in the sky.
Maybe I was overthinking this.
After all, we weren't friends anymore. Friends didn't kiss friends like that.
I'd set something in motion, and there was no way in hell I wasn't going to finish what I started.
Because all of a sudden, I felt like I didn't even know her anymore. But it was in the best, most exhilarating way, a way that made me realize how intimately I did want to know her.