Looking for Miracles

by Lynn Bulock

  There were no curtains or drapes on the big front window. A bamboo shade was pulled down when no one was there, and whoever came in first raised it. That kept the office out of plain view when the premises weren’t occupied. Lori imagined that was to hide the fact that there were three or four relatively new computer terminals in the front office, and not much of an alarm system.

  File cabinets took up a large portion of one wall of the office. The cabinets, and the rest of the furniture, were office-standard green metal, with a couple of the desks and chairs being slightly scarred oak. There was a bookshelf over in one corner, where she figured Mike’s desk must be. He didn’t strike her as the kind who wanted his own office. Michael would want to be out in the mainstream where he could see what was going on.

  Lori also suspected that being out in the front office got him more company and distraction. Gloria’s office had a door on it, with frosted glass in the panes set in the door. That didn’t surprise her, either. Gloria wasn’t someone who wanted to be disturbed constantly.

  The door was cracked open a bit now, and Lori suspected that Mike and his mom were both back there getting ready for the day. She looked around and spotted her corner near the front. There was a portable crib there, the blue canvas and mesh sides a match for the one that Mike’s mom insisted they had to have when the Harpers moved into the little rental house. Trust Gloria to think of the nicer details. Mikayla would be as comfortable here as she was at home.

  Lori got Mikayla out of her fluffy snowsuit and smoothed down her squiff of pale hair. She put her in the crib on her stomach where she could practice her newfound skill of pushing up off the ground with her arms and lifting her head. No attempt lasted very long yet, but she was working on it.

  Lori marveled at what an easy baby her daughter was. She didn’t fuss unless she was wet or hungry. Even now when she had begun to be awake for longer periods, she was content to chew on a fist and watch the world go by most of the time. That was a definite, ongoing miracle. She shuddered to think what she’d do right now with a colicky baby.

  Patting Mikayla on the back, she was rewarded with a gurgle. It made her laugh a little herself as she headed to the office in back. “You two in there?” she called, opening the door a little more.

  “Everybody who got in on time,” Mike teased. “I had to make my own coffee.”

  Gloria wrinkled her nose. “Do not listen to him, Lori. He makes his own coffee every morning. And he will continue to make his own coffee. Which you might want to test a bit before drinking yourself, I might add. It tends to be so strong, you barely need a full cup.”

  Mike huffed in mock indignation. “Thanks, Mom. Take all the wind out of my sails. Tyler all set at Noah’s Ark?”

  “Definitely. They have guinea pigs and chocolate pudding. He won’t notice if I don’t come back before dark.”

  “Great.” Mike’s smile looked even more attractive than usual this morning. It was different seeing him in twill pants and a shirt and tie instead of the jeans and Tshirts he favored at home. He didn’t look quite as comfortable with a tie on, but Lori had to admit he looked sharp.

  “Why is it so great if Tyler doesn’t want me to come get him?” Lori put her hands on her hips.

  “We might want to keep you here a while. It being your first day and all. Maybe even take the new hire out to lunch,” Mike said.

  “Oh, we’re not going to start that. I have a daughter here to keep me company, and a lot of work to learn and then do. No lunches out for a while. Besides, I brought a perfectly good bag lunch from home.”

  Mike looked at his mother. “This woman is a grind. No wonder you hired her.”

  Gloria rolled her eyes. “It’s a good thing that somebody is, Michael. Things do have to get done around here. It’s almost tax season, and you know what that means as far as paperwork…”

  Mike raised his hands. “Do I hear the baby crying?”

  Lori dashed out of Gloria’s office. Mikayla was still happy in the crib. “No. Was that just an attempt to get us off your back?” she asked Mike as he trailed her.

  Mike shrugged. “Could be. But I do have extremely good hearing.”

  Gloria blew out an impatient puff of air that Lori could hear from the outer office. “That he does. I think it’s all the practice of listening for that fire-and-rescue beeper so hard every day.”

  Mike didn’t say a word. He simply went to the still-perking coffeepot, deftly poured himself a cup before anything could spatter and went to his desk. He might not have been talking, but he did whistle. His cheerful tune seemed to be “Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight.” Lori stifled giggles and went to her own desk to get ready for the day.

  Her lovely bag lunch didn’t look as tempting by the time she was ready to eat it. By noon she might have been ready for a break from the desk, just as a reward for all the work she’d done. Still, she had to stick to her guns. No sense in letting Mike think he’d won on the first day. Besides, she didn’t have lunch money to speak of, and if she went out, he’d end up buying anyway. She really didn’t need to owe Mike Martin anything else.

  Working at the desk felt good. Mikayla was her usual sunny self, letting Lori get through much more of the paperwork than she’d hoped. The nicest thing was that she was much more proficient with the computer in the office than she’d expected. Things might have changed in the years since she had worked with office programs, but they had been logical changes, at least for her.

  Telling Mike that when he came back from lunch was a mistake. “You’re kidding. That all makes sense to you?” His brow wrinkled in consternation. “Even that new spreadsheet program?”

  “Well, that one is a little complicated,” Lori admitted. “I’ve got questions for your mom, or somebody, about it.”

  Mike looked relieved. “Good. You couldn’t get that far ahead of me in one day. Less than one full day. It just wouldn’t be right.”

  “I didn’t expect to get ahead of you in anything. That wasn’t my goal. The only thing I want to do is get to the point where I know the basics again as well as I did when I worked in an office regularly.”

  “For being here less than a day, I’d say you’re meeting goals fairly well.” Mike still looked like a kid watching somebody cruise off on his bike.

  “Hey, I’m thrilled. Want to show me what I don’t know about the spreadsheet stuff?”

  Mike pulled up a rolling chair from the next vacant desk. “If you think I can do that. What’s the problem?”

  He’d removed his coat when he came in the office after lunch. When he rolled his chair up close to her, Lori could smell the outdoors about him somehow, the cold crisp air of the Missouri winter caught in his dark hair.

  With Mike at her shoulder she was reminded of the difference in their height. Even sitting in similar office chairs, he was probably a head taller than she was. And even though it wasn’t two in the afternoon yet, he needed a fresh shave.

  Or at least, for some people he would have. Lori had to admit she found the slightly rough look of his dark beard appealing. It might have clashed a bit with his tailored shirt and tie, but it looked very masculine. She could imagine the prickle of his chin beneath her fingertips. The thought made her shiver.

  “Am I too close?” His eyes showed concern.

  “No. Yes. Let’s just say I’m not used to this much, uh, male company.”

  “So don’t think of me as male company. Think of me as a computer tutor.”

  “That will take some doing,” Lori muttered. Mike hadn’t moved any farther away, and it was all she could do to think, period. The whole situation seemed to amuse him.

  “Now, what was it that you wanted to know about this program?” He reached a hand over her desk and clicked the computer mouse, bringing a spreadsheet onto the screen. “Looks okay to me.”

  “Then we’re in more trouble than I thought. I’m stuck on how to plug in functions I know you’re going to need on interest figures.” Lori could feel her fingers tingle.
“Here, let me show you…” She reached for the mouse to highlight the columns she needed. Mike didn’t move his hand, so she just put hers on top of his larger one. For somebody who had just come from outside he had warm hands. It startled her for a moment and she lost her train of thought.

  “Where was I?” He leaned in even closer to her and she could feel the warmth of him now along most of her back as he studied the screen along with her.

  His voice rumbled in her ear. “I think it was your interest. I mean, interest in figures. No, I mean the interest figures. On the spreadsheet.” He leaned his forehead down to her shoulder, and Lori’s heart skipped a beat. It felt so good to have him there, leaning on her. “Am I making much sense?”

  “Not much. But I don’t mind.” Had she really said that out loud? “I don’t think I’m making much sense, either. Maybe I should have gone out for lunch, or just a walk to clear my head.”

  “Yeah, sitting in one spot too long will do that to a body.” His voice was softer and even closer again. “You want to take a quick stroll around the block? I’ll sit here and watch in case Squeaky wakes up.”

  “Squeaky. Oh, that’s just special.” Lori turned to talk to him. He was so very close. Whatever she was going to say next stilled on her lips, which were mere inches from his face.

  How did she get herself into this situation? All she wanted was help with a computer program. Now the program was the farthest thing from her mind. The closest thing to her mind, and her body, was going to get her into plenty of trouble if she didn’t move immediately.

  Her feet seemed locked to the floor. One good push would move her chair on wheels away from this near embrace where Mike sat behind her, shoulder to shoulder and both their hands still on the mouse. Lori wanted to argue with her traitorous body. She really had to move—now. But it felt much too good to be this close to Mike.

  He must have thought so, too, because he was moving even closer. His eyes widened and he dipped his head down until their lips met. It was a slow kiss, tentative and sweet. Lori wasn’t sure she had ever felt anything so marvelous in her entire life.

  Still, all her senses screamed that this could not continue. They were in an open office with a huge glass window facing the street, and all of Friedens. This was a fluke; a chance kiss brought on by being too close for too long to an incredibly handsome man. Finally she made her body work. Her feet pushed the chair across the floor, away from Mike’s warmth. Her hand left its comfortable place on top of his.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened there,” she said, trying not to stammer.

  “I think I do.” His smile was slow as molasses and as darkly sweet. “And I wouldn’t mind it happening again.”

  “Well, I think I would. And will you look at the time! I have to go get Tyler from school, so if the offer to sit at my desk still stands…” Lori took a deep breath, amazed at how rattled and silly she sounded, unable to say anything else until she got under control.

  The light dimmed in his sparkling brown eyes. “Oh. Sure. I’ll take good care of Mikayla. Take your time.”

  Lori nearly ran to the coat rack for her jacket. It was all she could do to not grab it so quickly that the whole rack tipped over. That was all she needed, for the coat rack to be as unbalanced as she felt right now. She flew out the door, still hearing the bell jingle overhead after the door closed.

  Control. She needed much more of it than she possessed right now, and fast. How could one little kiss stir her up this much?

  As she strode down the block, being stirred up wasn’t what disturbed Lori the most. She could understand Mike’s kiss having that effect on her. He was handsome, and they’d shared space most of their waking hours for the last few weeks. It was probably only natural that their bodies reacted this way once they finally collided.

  No, the disturbance wasn’t what rattled Lori the most. It was the rightness of the whole experience. Here she was a widow of a few months, with two kids to support and a life to build. She didn’t have the luxury of leaning on anybody for anything right now, except her Father in heaven. Yet she felt no shock or shame in Mike’s kiss. Having their lips meet was disturbing and alluring, but it didn’t feel wrong. That, more than anything, was what stunned Lori as she hiked the several blocks to Tyler’s preschool.

  She reached the front doors of Faith Community Church and her head was still spinning. The cool breeze on her face hadn’t done anything to clear her head or dispel the feel of Mike’s kiss on her lips. To do that she would probably have to hike to Juneau.

  Chapter Eleven

  First day at work. First kiss from Mike. Lori wasn’t sure which exhausted her the most. Maybe it was the combination of the two that made her want to go to sleep that night when Tyler went to bed at eight.

  If it wasn’t for Mikayla having one of her bouncy, awake periods, she might have put on her pajamas right away and gone to bed like Tyler. However, somebody had to be the grown-up and stay up and do a few things during the evening, so Lori elected herself.

  She didn’t feel much like the person in charge tonight. Surely the person in charge wouldn’t have agreed to be kissed like that today. Nor should a responsible woman with two children depending on her for everything enjoy such things so much. Or be unable to get them out of her head. Why did that one kiss insist on replaying itself over and over until Lori could see and feel Mike’s embrace without closing her eyes or pausing in folding the basket of laundry in front of her.

  It wasn’t fair. Surely she should be able to enjoy one harmless kiss and then be able to forget it. Surely Michael had done just that. He wasn’t sitting next door remembering every detail of that brief moment like she was. No, he was probably doing some of the paperwork he had left at the end of the day, or watching television.

  “Just forget he’s over there. You can do that,” she said out loud. Her words echoed in the small living room.

  Hearing the truck start outside, Lori changed her estimation of what Mike was doing. Apparently instead of doing any of the things she imagined, including reviewing their encounter, he was answering a fire-and-rescue call with the rest of the volunteers. Lori looked out the window of the front room in time to see the truck, its removable blue light plugged in and flashing to advertise its status, pulling out of the long gravel drive.

  Dear Lord, keep him safe. Let him come back to me all right. The prayer was as natural and easy as any she’d ever prayed. And it dumbfounded her the moment the words were out. Whoever said Michael would come back to her? Of course he’d come back safely, as soon as the barn fire or smoldering car, or whatever emergency had called the volunteers, was under control. But he wouldn’t be coming back to her. Because he wasn’t hers to begin with.

  Lori looked down at the laundry she was folding again. Tyler’s blue jeans, a soft chambray shirt that she could use for work if she dressed it up with a scarf. Mikayla’s little footed sleepers. This was the fabric of her life. Surely there was no room for care and concern for a man. Not even one as attractive and available as Mike Martin.

  Except that he had worked his way into her life, becoming part of the fabric as strongly woven in as the laundry in front of her. How had that happened? They’d only known each other a short time. He cared for her, but surely not in any romantic kind of way. He liked the kids. He’d kissed her once. And here she was praying for his safety while she folded laundry in her living room.

  “Face it. You’re falling in love with him.” Lori’s words, spoken aloud, echoed off the walls even louder than her earlier statement had. The words were true. And they scared her half to death. What business did she have falling in love? It wasn’t the time or the place for such things. Surely it wasn’t part of God’s plan for her life at this point, was it?

  Lori looked out the front window, neatly framed by heavy green drapes. How did she figure that part out? For starters, she didn’t need to turn on the radio while she folded the rest of the laundry. She needed to spend the time in prayer instead. Per
haps that would give her a clearer idea of where Mike fit into her life.

  Even if it didn’t, prayer time was never wasted. Lori smiled and reached back into the laundry basket. “Hey, that’s a good thing about the kids being asleep,” she said, finding another pair of Tyler’s little white socks. “Nobody will look at me funny while I talk to You out loud, Lord.” Sometimes you had to grab those miracles, no matter how small, wherever they came.

  The crunch of tires on the gravel outside woke Lori much later. She had fallen asleep sitting up in the chair by the window. Shaking her head to clear the cobwebs that felt as if they’d gathered there, she looked out the window. It was Mike and the truck, both looking none the worse for wear. Good. Now maybe she could go to bed and have a peaceful night.

  Mikayla was down to waking up only once a night. Lori, walking down the darkened hallway, prayed that this would be the night she slept until five or six in the morning for the first time. That would be a little miracle in itself. How long was it until babies slept all the way through a seven-or eight-hour stretch? She tried to tax her brain into remembering that far back with Tyler.

  It was definitely later than the five weeks Mikayla had been around. But not a whole bunch longer, was it? Pushing her hair away from her face, she stretched and padded into the bedroom without turning on a light. Tomorrow she’d see if Tyler’s new preschool had a library, with child-development books in it. She felt like she needed a refresher course in Newborn 101.

  By the time she dropped Tyler off at school the next morning, Lori was sure one book wasn’t going to solve all her parenting problems. Tyler had dawdled through breakfast and insisted on setting up some complicated block contraption to house his fire engine while she dressed Mikayla. She never could find the scarf that would have dressed up the chambray shirt she wore, and she felt stressed and hurried as she pulled the resisting Tyler into preschool.