by Kim Golden
That was what she was used to. Winter holidays in the sun, staying at five-star resorts, not looking at price tags. That had been her life with Niklas. Now she made budgets–the baby planning budget, the weekly grocery budget, the Christmas gift budget. And he wished he could give her a life more secure than this. He wasn’t even sure he could afford to spend much on Christmas presents this year–three clients hadn’t paid their invoices yet, and he was chasing them down. He’d gone a bit crazy buying wood for the nursery sets he was building and then there was the money he’d been forced to pay back to the clinic, though it was less than the 70,000 Danish krone they’d initially demanded, losing 30,000 krone still screwed up his budget.
He shook his head. Best not to think about it too much. He still had enough money saved up to cover his expenses at the workshop, and Anoushka had recommended his work to some of her colleagues so there were some new orders coming in. Last week an interiors magazine had contacted him and asked if he’d help out with pieces for a shoot they were planning. Maybe that would give him more exposure.
But it wasn’t really the exposure he wanted. He wanted to be able to provide for Laney and their future children. Because he never saw them with just one child. There were always three in his mind. Three little girls who were carbon copies of their mother, who clamored for his attention and whom he loved more than anything else in the world.
Somehow, he’d figure it out.
* * *
No day could start without coffee. That was a given. And since they’d skipped breakfast, it was time for brunch. They walked from their apartment across the bridge to the café that would forever be known as their place–where Mads had sat in the window and first saw Laney on that fateful August day.
Inside the café was warm and cozy and their favorite spot, the window seat was available. While Mads ordered, Laney claimed their spot. She’d nabbed a few newspapers and looked pleased as punch when he sauntered over with their coffees.
“You look like the cat who caught the canary,” Mads mused as he set her bowl-sized cup of cafe au lait on countertop.
Laney broke into a huge smile and said, “You will be too when you see this.” She slid the Weekend Style section of the local paper over to him.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to revamp my wardrobe…”
“No, you look just fine as you are. Turn to page three.”
He took a sip of his black coffee and then set his cup beside hers. Why did he suddenly feel so nervous? He glanced at her, she was still grinning and now she was shaking her head at him. “Trust me,” she said as she leaned closer to him. She let one hand trail along his thigh. “You’ll like this.”
But before he could open the paper, the waitress arrived with their brunch plates. She craned past them and set the plates on the counter and barked out a quick “enjoy” before rushing off to take care of the next orders. Laney nudged his plate aside, flicked open the newspaper and then pointed to the feature article. And there at the center of the page was a photograph of him next to an oak armoire he’d designed that was influenced by his love of Børge Mogensen’s take on modernism with its clean lines and vegetable tanned leather insets.
Mads skimmed the article…it was an interview…no one had interviewed him…then he saw the byline. Laney’s name was listed as the writer and the article had been translated by Ingrid. There were more pictures–the nursery he’d designed for Lida, as well as the pieces that would become Liv’s nursery. Whitewashed ash cabinets he’d designed for his cousin Henrik. An armchair made of teak and reclaimed rope reminiscent of Kaare Klint’s church chair, which he’d crafted as part of an entry for a furniture design contest but never bothered to enter. “But…how did you do all of this…?”
“I used my contacts at work,” she said. “And that time when you gave Johan and Marius a tour of the workshop…I was asking you so many questions, I thought you’d figured it out.”
“But…how?” He re-read some of the passages and tried to piece everything together. Laney steadied him with her touch, she stroked his nape and then raked her fingers through his hair. Which each touch the shock of the surprise softened. “You’re really something…” He smiled finally and something white hot burned in his chest and spread through him. Why did she love him so much, he wondered. Why did she believe in him when others didn’t?
“You design beautiful furniture, Mads…and I want people to know who you are.”
* * *
Later they drove to Humlebaek and had dinner with his grandmother and his cousin Henrik. Laney had insisted on stopping at a florist’s shop and they arrived laden with a huge American-style wreath, poinsettias and balsamy boughs of spruce.
While Mads and Henrik took over cooking, Laney and Alma decorated the living room with the spruce boughs and poinsettias. Four small silver-colored lanterns with thick church candles had been set up as a centerpiece on the coffee table, one candle to be lit for each week of advent.
“I saw the article in this morning’s paper,” Henrik said as he adjusted the flame under the risotto.
“Yeah, that was Laney’s doing.” Mads smiled to himself. He was still amazed she’d managed to keep it a secret from him.
“Quite a coup!”
“You think so?”
“Tomorrow morning, when you get to the workshop, you’ll probably have tons of messages waiting for you, from people who want you design kitchens or shelving units…or those inlay tables of yours. This could be the start of something big for you, Mads.”
“Yeah…maybe.”
Henrik grinned at him. “You getting a little nervous?”
“Yeah…a little. Christ, this is all so new. You know? I’m not used to this. Not used to having someone who loves me as much as she does, to knowing that she wants to be with me. And that we’re going to have a baby together. That’s pretty scary right there…I mean, I can’t wait, but I’m scared out of my mind too.”
“Understandable. It’s a big responsibility.”
“And then she does something like this…because she loves me and she believes in me.”
“You want my advice?”
“You’ll give it to me even if I don’t want it,” Mads joked. He took the wooden spoon from Henrik and commandeered stirring the risotto. He was glad his cousin was back in Copenhagen again after being in Singapore so long. Henrik was the closest thing Mads had to a brother. And even if he’d often envied Henrik for never having had the instability that had marked most of Mads’s life, he didn’t want to imagine a life without him there.
“You’re right, you know, I’ll tell you what I think no matter what.” Henrik laughed. He took a long sip from the bottle of chocolate stout he’d opened. “And here’s my advice–just roll with it. Don’t question why she loves you. She just does. Don’t be afraid you’re going to be a crap father–you had one, you know you don’t want your daughter to have the same, so you won’t be one. Laney could have stayed in Sweden with the guy she was living with, but she wanted to be with you. She chose you, she wanted to have a baby with you. And now she’s done something that could help you realize your dreams. So just roll with it.”
“Sounds so simple.” Mads claimed the bottle from Henrik and took a sip.
“It is, old man. You just roll with it. And you let life happen.”
“So…did you learn all of this in Singapore?”
“Nope, it’s my life’s philosophy. I’m not stressing about being single. If I meet someone, I meet someone. I’m not stressing about whether my boss is planning on sending me overseas again. If it happens, it happens.”
Henrik pried the beer bottle away from Mads and grinned. “And you can get your own beer. There’s plenty more in the fridge.”
17
UNTIL SHE COMES
Christmas Eve and Mads was still not done with his shopping. The week got away from him. Thanks to Laney’s article, his phone was ringing nonstop–people wanting to order sideboards and armoires similar to the ones
featured in the article, companies wanting custom cabinetry, a magazine asking him if he’d be part of a photo shoot of Copenhagen’s hottest new designers. The last one he wanted to ignore but Laney vetoed his reticence with a “You are hot and you deserve this exposure.”
He had three hours until he and Laney were expected at his grandmother’s house for Christmas lunch and he still needed to head to Fisketorvet Mall to pick up two more presents. Mads glanced at his watch. If he left now, he just might make it there and back without too much of a fuss.
Laney was still in bed. Though she’d showered and changed clothes, she’d been complaining about her back and retreated to the bedroom again after breakfast.
She couldn’t stay in bed all day though. Her cousin Eddy was with them, and judging by her restless mood she would expect Laney to be up soon for a walk.
Mads was just putting on his coat when Eddy bounded in from her morning run. She barely looked winded though she’d probably run 10K. This was only the second time Mads had met Laney’s cousin. Though they could have been sisters, he was still struck by how different they were. Physically, Laney was curvier than Eddy, even before the pregnancy. Eddy was lean from all the running she did. And Laney was so laidback; Eddy couldn’t sit still. She always needed something to do. And silence seemed to bother her. She filled it with constant chatter. Mads wasn’t used to it. Eddy could talk about anything. Laney was more into letting silence speak for itself.
“Where are you on your way to?” she asked as she unzipped her fleece jacket.
“I need to finish the Christmas shopping,” he told her. “Just two more presents.”
“For Laney?”
Mads nodded. “I don’t really know what I should give her.”
“Do you want me to come with you? I know what she likes…”
“I don’t want her to be on her own. Her back is still bothering her.”
“Maybe I should get her to take a walk. That might help.”
Mads nodded absently. His mind was elsewhere. With the new orders that were coming in, the deposits people gladly paid, he could afford a more expensive present now…
“Mads?”
He blinked quickly, startled back into the real world and not the confusing world of gift-giving and what to give the woman you love when she’s been used to life a little more spectacular.
“Don’t over-think it.” Eddy tilted her head to the side and swept her palm over her glistening forehead. “She is so happy about the gift you’ve already given her…don’t think you need to compete with her past.”
Mads smiled, feeling a little relieved even if he knew instinctively Laney wasn’t comparing him to Niklas. But sometimes he couldn’t help worrying. It would be a while before he’d ever be able to treat her to expensive trips to Asia to escape the winter dreariness or travel business class or first class to the US when she was feeling homesick.
“I want her to be happy.”
“Trust me. She’s happy,” Eddy assure him. “I know my cousin. She’s never been happier.”
“I think we both are…”
“Then you have everything–just love her, treat her well, be there when she needs you.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do.” Mads grinned sheepishly and ducked his head.
“Yeah, I know…I heard you last night. God, you guys never stop do you?”
Mads’s felt a sudden rush of heat flood his skin. Most likely his cheeks were blooming red.
Eddy laughed and teased him a bit more. “All I can say is, damn! No wonder she hightailed it to Denmark when she had the chance.”
* * *
He ended up not going all the way to Fisketorvet. Just the idea of trying to find a parking space there put him off going there. Instead, he walked across the bridge to Indre By, walking as fast as he could until he was almost at Kongens Nytorv. He still owed Laney something significant. And the bond between them wouldn’t become permanent until it was done.
Just behind the Hotel D’Angleterre there was a little jeweler’s shop that Mads had stumbled upon one afternoon when he’d needed to clear his thoughts. He’d originally thought he’d just take a long walk and then eat lunch at Puk on Vandkunsten. But he’d been so lost in thought he ended up dodging tourists on Strøget and then ducked into a side street. That’s when he’d found the tiny jewelry shop with its selection of rings inspired by nature. Mads memorized the location and made a point of walking past it, always awed by the craftsmanship and beauty of such fragile pieces made to resemble crushed leaves or flower petals. He’d been mesmerized by the exquisite intricacy of each piece and wanted to purchase one for Laney. But then…well, he hadn’t been able to afford it.
He opened the door to the shop, relieved they were open on Christmas Eve when so many other shops were already closed.
The old man behind the counter smiled broadly when he caught sight of Mads. “Is it now?”
Mads grinned and nodded. “Yes, now is the time.”
The old man disappeared into the back of the shop and then emerged a few minutes later with a caramel colored velvet box. “It’s not Tiffany & Company, but I think she will love it,” he said as he lifted the lid of the small box.
Inside the box, the ring gleamed and looked more brilliant and beautiful than anything he’d ever created. He bit his lower lip, anticipating already how Laney would react when she finally saw it. “She’ll love it. She loves maple trees…they remind her of home.”
“Then this will be a happy day indeed,” the old man concluded. “And that pleases me.”
* * *
When he came home, the apartment was preternaturally silent. He called out Eddy and Laney’s names but neither answered in reply. He checked his phone–no messages, so he sent a message to Eddy’s phone. It only took a few minutes to receive a reply. “Laney craving cinnamon bun. Just on other side of bridge. Back in a bit.”
But a bit turned into longer. There was no Christmas lunch at his grandmother’s house. At 1PM on Christmas Eve, Mads and Laney’s daughter decided she was ready to be born–a little over three months early. Though she was far too early, Mads thought she was the most beautiful little girl in the world.
And he and Laney named her Olivia Gloria Halliwell Rasmussen. But she was always called “Liv”. And they honored both their mothers. Olivia for his mother, Gloria for Laney’s.
18
HEY BABY
Nothing prepared Mads for the earlier than planned arrival of his baby girl. Not the books he read or the wonky advice doled out by everyone who knew he and Laney were expecting. The nurse on duty had warned him that there could be complications–Liv was only 26 weeks old when she was born, the air sacs in her lungs weren’t fully developed, so she needed to be in an artificial ventilator. He was allowed to hold her–the nurses all marveled at how easily he took to holding her properly, to comforting her when her tiny cries came. And the longer he held her, the more he fell in love with this tiny person.
Laney was still in the hospital too. She’d lost a lot of blood and had to have a blood transfusion. He tried not to think about it–that for a while things were touch and go–losing Laney was not something he ever wanted to consider. They’d only just started their lives together.
But now as he rode his bicycle along the wintry streets in the grey morning light, he tried only to think about that today he’d find out when both Laney and baby Liv could come home. Laney’s aunt Cecily called nearly every day to check in on her progress, Eddy called too. She was in Stockholm now, trying to deal with what she’d called Boyfriend Behaving Badly Syndrome. But she’d return to Copenhagen at the end of the week. Until then, he was on his own. Henrik had had to return to Singapore for more contract negotiations and, though his grandmother tried help, Mads was more taking care of her than she was of him. Ingrid and Anton came by often, even bringing him dinner when they knew he’d probably forgotten to eat anything. Adam and Trine had stopped by a few times to keep him company in the evenings but Trine�
�s disdain for Laney didn’t help. Though Trine would ask about the baby and coo over the pictures of Liv he’d snapped with his iPhone, whenever he mentioned Laney and her condition, Trine would tune out. Adam would eventually apologize for her behavior but the pall of her rudeness and indifference still lingered.
“Hallo, Mads!” Nurse Gudrun, the oldest of the preemie ward care nurses, greeted him as he strode down the hall.
“Hej, hej.” He stopped and nodded at her. “How are they…?”
“All is well. We can take your daughter out of the ventilator now, but she’ll need to be in an incubator a few days.”
“But that’s brilliant…”
“Your wife…I think she can go home tomorrow. We know she is anxious to be out of here,” the nurse chuckled. She raised her eyebrows and then came from behind the desk. She was carrying a vase of fresh flowers in vibrant purples and pinks. “Come, she’s awake now, and these just arrived from her colleagues.”
Mads kept stride with the nurse’s brisk pace. “Do you think Doctor Søndergaard will be able to say when Liv can come home too?”
“Soon,” the nurse said. “It shouldn’t be much longer. She is a fighter, your little one. Such a sweet little fighter.”
As they approached Laney’s room, Mads felt his heart beat faster. Tomorrow she could come home. A bittersweet homecoming since Liv would need to stay longer, but perhaps in a week or two she’d be able to come home as well.
Home. It’s funny, he never thought much about coming home to someone or having a reason to come home. All those nights he used to spend at the workshop to avoid the silence and reminder that he was alone, or the nights when his workshop mates dragged him out for drinks at the local pubs, the one-night stands that left him feeling even emptier. Thank God he and Laney had found one another…