“It’s nothing, Maddox,” Kerrigan responds. She sighs and starts to walk away. It pisses me off. I stop her by grabbing her hand and pulling her into me.
“Don’t do that, Kerrigan. Why are you sorry? Please don’t hide from me.”
“Well, I thought maybe you wanted to kiss me. Sorry, I did that without asking.”
Hold up. She thinks I didn’t want to kiss her? I do. Of course, I do. I don’t want her to ever feel rejected by me ever again.
“You own me, Kerrigan. Heart, body, and soul. If you want to fucking kiss me, then kiss me.”
“I’m not kissing someone who doesn’t seem interested and just stands there.”
In this moment, I realize she still puts herself down and doesn’t realize her worth. She jumps to conclusions about the way people feel. She is so far off the mark here.
“I held back, Kerrigan, because my dick is hard. It’s taking everything in me not to take you home and do way more than kissing. I want more than to kiss you right now.”
I see her face turn red.
“Oh,” she says in a whisper.
I know I can’t kiss her the way I want to right now, but I do want to show her how much I want her so I pull her in for a hug.
“You feel that? I can’t control myself right now. The one thing I want you to know is that I love you. I’d take you to Vegas right now and marry you. Fucking kiss me whenever you want. Understood?”
I watch a beautiful smile cross her face.
“I understand,” she says and backs out of my hug.
It hurts to admit this to myself, but Kerrigan should go and work on herself. As much as I wish I could, I can’t fix what’s going on inside of her.
Kerrigan
Oh, my God. I was so turned on at Maddox’s words. Maddox taking me home sounded like a good idea. Yes, I am still broken, but fighting what I am feeling for Maddox is just plain stupid. However, I am here to have a good time with my friends. When we rejoin the group, I decide to start talking and catching up.
“Lani, is Jase going to be able to make it tonight?” Jase is Lani’s booty call for a lack of a better word. Two years, they’ve been sleeping together on and off. Neither of them are looking for anything, just casual sex. He is a nerdy accountant and, I say, she could totally do better. She trusts him though and so do I.
“Not until it’s time to go home,” Lani winks at me.
“Excuse me. I’m getting a beer,” Evan says and he looks irritated. I guess I was right. He is into her, but Evan isn’t Lani’s type. I kind of feel bad for him.
“What’s his problem?” Lani asks.
“Oh, I think he wanted to take you home,” I tease.
Noah and Maddox just stare at me. Did I do something wrong?
“Please, Evan doesn’t want to take me home. I’m not a leggy model.”
“Oh, girl. I’d fuck you right here,” Evan says. Oh, shit. He was right behind me. Lani looks up, and her face is fire engine red. Mine has to be too. This is so uncomfortable. I silently pray for Molly to go into labor. I watch as Lani tries to regain her composure. God, someone say something. Do something.
Lani stands up and excuses herself to go to the bathroom. The rest of us girls stand up, too. We have to talk about this. This is an emergency, all hands on deck bathroom meeting. I didn’t see this coming and I can’t stop watching as Evan grabs Lani and lays a kiss on her so hot I am pretty sure the bar just caught on fire.
“Now you girls have something to talk about,” Evan says while running his finger over his lips. Must all the Stone brothers be so cocky and beautiful? We all rush to the bathroom. Lani just stands there. Her face is flushed and she licks her lips.
“What the hell just happened?” Missy asks.
“I have no idea,” Molly responds.
“Lani?” I ask.
“Oh, my God. That asshole just kissed me,” Lani says.
“We saw. The whole damn bar saw. How was it? It looked fucking hot,” Molly says.
“I don’t know. Hot, yes. But, Evan is an ass, and I won’t sleep with him and be another number for him,” Lani responds.
“I’m sorry but that wasn’t another number to him. I’ve never seen him kiss someone. I’ve never heard him talk about another girl. I’m shocked he did that.” Molly states.
“It’s because he is a dominating asshole. He gets the last word. Or, the last kiss.” Lani is getting all worked up.
“He is those things, but he is also compassionate and a good friend. Lani, I think you should give him a chance,” I say. I know what the Stone brothers want people to see. Evan is just like his brothers.
“I’m seeing Jase. Well, not dating. I can’t do rough and I know that’s all Evan does.”
“How do you know?” I ask.
“What the hell is it with public bathrooms?” We all look over to Molly, who is sporting wet pants.
“Please tell me you pissed yourself and that isn’t your water breaking,” Missy states as she rushes out the door.
“Get Noah.”
This night is getting better. I think.
Chapter 13
Maddox
“What was that, Evan?” I asked, as I watched Evan look peacefully arrogant. Evan has never worn that look. He can no longer deny his feelings for Lani.
“Alani thinks she knows everything. She thinks she has me all figured out. I just wanted to show her she didn’t.”
“Bullshit,” Noah says. He looks just as confused as I do. Something is going on.
“Whatever. I don’t need to watch some tool come pick her up,” says Evan. “I’m headed home. Tell Kerrigan I’ll meet with her on Monday.”
I’m about to try and talk him out of leaving when Missy comes rushing out of the bathroom—she looks scared. Of course, Brayden jumps up, ready to kill someone.
“What now?” Brayden demands.
“Molly…” she says, rushed. Noah doesn’t ask questions, and neither do I. We take off toward the bathroom.
“What’s going on?” Noah asks, as he props the door open.
“Your wife has a thing with bathrooms. Her water broke,” Lani says. I watch Noah jump into action. He helps Molly up and starts walking her towards the door.
“Sorry I ruined your goodbye party,” Molly says to Kerrigan.
“Ruin it?” Kerrigan asks. “Let’s go!”
“It could be awhile,” says Noah. “Finish up your evening. We will call later with any news.”
Heck no. I don’t want to be in the bar.
“My new nephew is coming. I want to be there.” I say.
“Well get your shit,” Noah commands. “Hurry!”
“Ari, you coming?” I ask. She has been sitting at the bar most of the night. I think she has a thing for Matt.
“No. I’ll come by later.”
Kerrigan
It’s been four hours. We’re all sitting in the waiting room. Molly is moving along quickly. She was already at six centimeters thirty minutes ago. For the rest of us, we sit, making small talk and laughing. We’re all so excited to meet little Lane. I think about this being me one day. I have a shitty family, aside from Ari. Sitting here, I know that these friends are my family—Lani and Molly, and even Missy and Brayden. I found out, not too long ago, that Missy was the girl in the room that night in high school. I feel a connection to her that is impossible with anyone else. The boys went to get us something to eat, so I take this time to talk with Missy.
“Missy?” I called.
“Yeah?”
“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?” she asks.
“That night, that no one saved you. I wish I could have...” I get choked up saying the words.
“Hey, it isn’t your fault. You didn’t tell them to, and neither you nor Lani knew anything until after it was over.”
“I know...but still, I wish I could’ve helped you.”
“I wish I could’ve helped you too—I’m sorry too. I’ve l
ived with blinders on since that day. Therapy helps, and not being able to remember much helps,” Missy explains. She is a totally different girl now. She used to be quiet, like she was afraid to be noticed.
“How long did it take you to be ready to move on in another relationship?” I think she and Brayden are together now.
“I haven’t yet,” she replies. “It’s not that I’m not ready, I am. It’s just that Brayden isn’t the one for me.”
“What? Why?” I ask.
“Because I don’t think he can love Cade.”
“What the hell do you mean I can’t love Cade? You won’t let me near him!” Brayden barks, as he throws down a candy bar and storms off. Okay. These men need to stop sneaking up on us.
Missy gets up to follow him. Shoot. I want to support her, but I think they need to work this out on their own. Besides, sitting here with Lani and Evan is enough of a soap opera.
Maddox
This evening has turned into a very long night. It’s four in the morning, when a smiling Noah walks out.
“Lane Madden Stone,” he announces. “Healthy and big at an even nine pounds.”
The hugs and congratulations are handed out to Noah as we all follow him into the room. Molly looks terrible so we won’t stay long. I just want a quick look at my new nephew, which I will wait on because he is latched onto Molly’s breast. Dammit. I know, I know. A nursing mother is something special, but I still I get a little freaked out. Where do I look?
“Can I hold him?” Evan asks. Oh, you dumbass. Don’t you see he is feeding? How can he not see that?
“Sure,” Molly says, taking Lane off her breast. I’m getting light headed so I go to sit down.
Evan starts walking around the room with him. He looks like a natural. I only felt comfortable with Landon when he turned one. Tiny babies scare me more than a man pointing a gun at me does.
“Okay, my turn,” Kerrigan says. When she takes Lane from his arms, her face melts. What a beautiful sight. I can’t help but daydream of her holding our baby. It’s finally my turn to hold him. He is big, and much different than Landon’s tiny body. Lane feels heavy. His cheeks look like he is storing some food in them. He looks healthy. I smile. Landon looked like Molly for a long time. Lane looks just like Noah.
“Alright, give him to me. He needs to eat and my wife needs to go to bed,” Noah says, looking like he is wide-awake. I guess with him working 16-hour days, he is used to it.
“Do I need to go get Landon?” I ask, thinking where the hell is my nephew.
“No, my parents got here earlier,” says Molly. “They wanted to watch him.”
This night has been crazy. Every emotion that could be felt was felt. I’m mentally drained.
“You girls need a ride home?” I ask.
Missy speaks up. “I do, if you don’t mind.” Brayden looks pissed when she says it. Shit.
“Okay,” I say, “how about you Kerrigan? Lani?”
“No, I’m parked close,” says Lani. “I can take Kerrigan home.” Well hell. Guess this is good night to Kerrigan, then. I can’t be disappointed because this is a night I’ll never forget.
Kerrigan
The boys are walking us to the car. It’s totally awkward. Brayden and Missy are walking as far away from each other as they can. I believe Lani is still pissed at Evan, and I’m wishing I were alone with Maddox.
When we get to the car, Maddox opens my door. I’m about to get in when he says, “I forgot something.” I think he means back at the hospital, but then he pulls me into his arms and kisses me in a way I’ve never been kissed. His tongue enters my mouth quickly. It’s a warm, soft kiss, but also passionate. The way his tongue takes control of mine….
Before he is done, he softly bites my bottom lip. He pulls me tightly against him, and I can feel his dick getting hard against me—I think I’m about to orgasm.
“I love you,” he whispers against my lips.
“I know,” I whisper back.
Chapter 14
Kerrigan
It’s my last day here in Chicago. I’m at Molly’s with the girls. She wanted to do a dinner at her place. We decided to bring take-out because she is still recovering, Lane being only six days old. As soon as I walk in the door, my little buddy Landon comes running to me. I think he might be feeling a little jealous because I see Molly nursing Lane.
“Hey, Molly! Where are your parents?” I ask.
“They went to Navy Pier,” she replies. “Noah is taking a nap. He hasn’t slept. He has been awake for two days making sure I was okay and being taken care of.” I smile. I’m so happy my friend found someone like Noah.
“Where is everyone else?” I ask.
“Lani was picking up Missy. I’m sure they’re close.” Just as she says that, the elevator opens.
Missy rushes over to take Lane. I have a feeling Missy is feeling what I’m feeling—maternal.
We talk for a bit and gush over the kids, and then we all go sit down at the dinner table. The conversations are flowing, and it’s fun and lighthearted. We’ve been talking about men, of course, and the babies and my leaving. I can’t believe how sad I am. I know it’s the right thing to do. I need to start fresh and rebuild my life. Aaron destroyed me. Slowly, brick by brick, I am getting there.
“Are you nervous?” asks Missy.
“No, not really,” I reply. “It’ll be a good thing. I need the change.”
“Have you had your goodbye with Maddox?” Lani asks.
“No... I don’t think I can.” Leaving Maddox is not something I want to face.
Molly speaks up. “You should—Kerrigan, if not for you please give him this. Don’t let him torture himself.”
“You’re right,” I say, “I will go by him after we finish.”
“No, it’s getting late,” says Molly. “You should go now.” All of a sudden, I feel rushed. I need Maddox to know that I love him too, and that me leaving is only a temporary goodbye. As we say our goodbyes, Noah walks in with no shirt, his hair is messy, and he’s wearing sweatpants. It makes me wonder what Maddox looks like, similarly disheveled.
“Hey, baby.” He kisses Molly and takes Landon from her. Missy still hasn’t given Lane up. I wanted to hold him, but now I have to get to Maddox.
Maddox
I just finished my run. When I return, Donna is sitting in front of my door.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Oh, nothing. Shower backed up again. I need to use yours. Is it okay?”
“Yes, of course,” I reply. “Do you know when Mr. Gregory will have it fixed?”
“No. He said he has someone working on it. I’m not sure I believe him. Every time I return home, everything is always in its place.”
This is getting old. It’s not that I mind Donna coming over or needing help. It’s just Mr. Gregory has a habit of putting things off until the last minute. By that time, a small problem has turned into a major problem. I go to open my door, and Donna goes straight to the shower.
I had hoped to not be distracted tonight because the girl I love is leaving tomorrow. I want to stop her, but I know I can’t. Right now, I want to beat the shit out of something or someone—that someone being Aaron. She still hasn’t really talked to me about that night. She did tell me that sex became painful when he would ask her about me. Just thinking about it makes me want to head down to the jail and fuck him up. After ten minutes, I hear the bathroom door open.
“Maddox?” I hear Donna ask.
“What?” I answer. She is wearing a thin t-shirt and short shorts. My guess she is ready for bed. Any other time, it’d be hard not to think about how hot she looks. Now, I am just thinking what I wouldn’t give to have Kerrigan walking out of my shower.
“She’ll love you,” assures Donna. “She will.”
I can’t say anything back. My heart starts hurting. I just lower my head because I am unable to keep the emotions at bay. I feel Donna’s arms wrap around me. I don’t return the hug, but instead I lower my he
ad onto her shoulder. We’re interrupted by a knock at the door.
“Hopefully that’s Mr. Gregory coming to see if anyone else has plumbing issues,” Donna says, as she opens the door. I look back down because the last thing I need is to look like a pansy in front of him.
“Dammit, Maddox! Why?!” I look up quickly when I hear Kerrigan’s voice. Only, I don’t see her. I take off out the door, and I see her running down the steps.
Kerrigan
Why do I keep falling for the men that hurt me? I knew what Maddox was capable of. Yes, I have to leave—I can’t stay. I feel someone grab me. It’s Maddox.
“Get your hands off of me!” I shout.
“Kerrigan, no... Talk to me,” he pleads.
“I came to talk to you. Sorry to interrupt!”
“You weren’t interrupting,” he explains, “she’s my neighbor and she’s having plumbing issues" I want to believe him, but I know I can’t.
“Whatever, Maddox. I need to go.”
“Please,” he begs, “don’t shut me out again.” I start crying when I hear that.
“It’s the only way I can survive you hurting me, Maddox.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Kerrigan. I want you with me. Please don’t go to Kentucky....”
As I process his last statement, all I can think about is that being in a relationship with Maddox or anyone else right now is the last thing I need. I need to know what’s wrong with me. Why the people I love hurt me the way they do. I need to fix me.
I take off in a run again. It was stupid for me to stop by.
Maddox
Shit! Why is she running? I know the answer to that. She doesn’t trust anyone. I thought we’d made progress—obviously, we haven’t. I take off after her, following her into the park.
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