“Kerrigan, stop!” I shout, while catching up to her.
“Maddox, please leave me alone!” she cries, “I’m not ready.”
“Hey...I know.” I wrap my arms around her and just hold on. I can’t let her go.
We stand in this embrace for what seems like a lifetime, but still not long enough.
“Maddox, I need to go.”
“Please don’t leave. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time.” Funny how five minutes ago, I knew it was best for her to leave, but that means the love of my life will be gone. Maybe forever.
“You don’t know me, Maddox. I don’t even know me.”
“You’re wrong, Kerrigan. I do know you. I know you love fully. I know you protect people, even if it means that you risk your own safety. I know you don’t see your beauty the way I do. What I know, more than anything else, is that you belong with me.”
She struggles against my hold a little bit, but I can’t let her go. When she finally stops, she looks straight into my eyes and I see the hurt. I keep her locked into my gaze because I want her to see my truth. She looks down quickly and shifts. When she looks up again, her eyes lock with mine and I can’t fight the feelings that are taking over. I crush my lips against hers. Her arms wrap tightly around me. I pick her up, and she wraps her legs around my waist. I realize I’m walking her into an isolated part of the park.
“Maddox, what are we doing?”
“We're doing what we should’ve done two years ago. I want you, Kerrigan.”
I give her a chance to say no or make me stop. When she doesn’t, I reach into my back pocket out of habit. Shit! I ran out of my apartment without my wallet, which means I don't have a condom. Fuck it. I’ll pull out. If she's not stopping me, nothing will. Besides, it's Kerrigan - I want to feel every part of her as she slides against my cock. God! I can’t get inside her fast enough. I back her up against the tree and set her down for a second, while I pull my pants down just far enough. I bunch up the skirt of her dress and reach between her legs. I run my fingers back and forth over her panties tracing her folds. She lets out a small whimper and I can feel her start to get wet. I pull her panties to the side, slipping a finger inside her. I kiss her as I insert another finger inside Kerrigan. After a few more strokes, she's drenched. I pick her up again and wrap her legs around my waist. I can’t believe this is finally happening.
Her eyes lock with mine for a moment, and I see the want in her eyes—I know they mirror what's in mine. I waste no more time and thrust inside her. FUCKING PERFECTION! Her heat surrounds me; she's so wet and tight as hell! God! She feels amazing. I'm jackhammering in and out of her and she's moaning in my ear. I realize this is going to be over fast if I don’t slow down, but she feels so damn good wrapped around my dick.
Kerrigan
I can’t believe I'm doing this. Maybe it’s a mistake. I mean, ten minutes ago, I realized I didn’t completely trust him. It’s Maddox, though. He's stood by me and not rushed me. I’ve wanted him just as much as he’s wanted me. Only I didn’t think our first time would be like this—hot, raw, and fast—but I’m not complaining. He feels incredible inside me. Maddox is bouncing me off his upper thighs—I can’t even describe the feeling. All I know is, it’s a long ride, sliding up and down his dick. He's kissing my neck, his breath touching my skin, sending shivers down my body. I lean my head back on the tree, completely lost in the moment. I can hear every desperate breath he takes. I feel his heart pounding against my chest.
“You feel so good on me, Kerrigan….” Maddox grabs my ass and slides me down further on him. He stills for a moment, and a deep growl leaves him. I think it’s because he's taking me so fast, so hard, and so desperately that he realizes he's not going to last. It brings a smile to my face to be so wanted that he can’t control himself. A fever is building inside of me and I clutch at his back—nails digging in. I smile again as he his thrusts get even harder and deeper. He's lost any control he'd been holding onto.
“Maddox...” I cry out.
Maddox
Sex has never felt so good or meant this much to me. I don’t think I’m going to last. I’ve never been so turned on or so excited to find my release. I’m hoping she's close. Looking at her face, I know she is.
“I’ve dreamed about this day forever!” I growl out.
“Maddox! I’m so close....” She bites her lower lip. Her breathless moans pick up and her pussy lets me know she's there. I thrust as hard as I can a couple more times, going as deep as I can inside her. I hope she finishes quickly so I can pull out. While she's riding out her orgasm, she gets a look of ecstasy and parts her perfect lips. Dammit—not going to last. Her pussy keeps clenching my dick and it won’t release me. Fuck! I squeeze her ass hard as I fill her with my cum—it’s an endless stream. Just when I think it’s over, another jet of cum shoots inside her. I wonder if it’s going to stop. FUCK, I think to myself. I want to live in this moment forever. I don’t want to pull out of her. My heart and soul found it’s home a couple years back, and now, my dick has, too. I press my body against her and continue to kiss her. I’m desperate for any connection. I kiss along her neck and place a kiss behind her ear.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Maddox, I need to go,” Kerrigan says, and it makes my heart sink. I slowly pull out and set her back down. My hand reaches for her panties, and I put them back into their proper place. I make sure to run my finger over her clit. Another soft moan escapes her lips. That moan stirs something in me, the sadness of her leaving and not knowing when or if she’ll come back. My heart is shattering right now.
“Please,” I beg her, “stay the night with me. I can take you to the airport tomorrow.”
“We shouldn’t, Maddox. The thought of leaving you kills me, but I need this, Maddox. Don’t make it harder than it already is….”
I want to scream right now. Rip this tree up. Fight fate. I look her in the eyes. I know she can see the anguish in mine. I’m trying to do what she needs me to do, but it’s tearing me apart. I won’t ever accept that she’s leaving.
“I love you. Tell me you know that. Tell me you believe me. God, Kerrigan, knowing I won't see you everyday hurts.”
“Maddox, I do believe you, I can feel it. For the first time in my life, I feel loved. I–I love you, Maddox.”
Did I just hear her right? She said she loved me? Kerrigan loves me. I take a step back so I can look at her. This amazingly beautiful woman loves me? No one has ever said those words to me. I know my brothers do, they don't need to say it. But to hear these words right now closes a hole in my heart that I never knew existed. She fucking loves me.
“Kerrigan, do you know how long I’ve waited to hear those words from you?”
“I mean it, Maddox, I love you. But...we should talk.”
Hearing her say it the second time feels just as amazing as it did the first time. The need to be near her is overwhelming, so I pull her flush against my body. I run my thumb down her cheek and place a gentle kiss on her lips.
“You’re beautiful,” I say to her. “Do you want to head back to my place? I left without my keys or wallet.”
“Sure, but I’m not staying, okay?”
“Okay. Right now all I want is more time with you.” I grab her hand, and I am so grateful for more time—whether it is ten minutes, or five hours.
Kerrigan
We walk hand-in-hand back to his apartment. We don’t say much. I think both of us are trying to figure out what needs to be said. I wasn’t lying when I told him that I love him. I do, but I know I can’t move forward. I still question my judgments. Aaron is still very much in my mind. I have a trial to get through. I know Maddox will be at the trial so I want to get things out into the open now. I want him to hear the things that will be said about me. That way, he has time to cool down. Maddox is a quick trigger. He protects and fights for the ones he loves.
When we get back to his apartment, that barely dressed girl is sitting on his couch. She look
s comfortable, and it makes me jealous. That jealousy is quick to end when Maddox makes the introduction.
“Donna, this is THE Kerrigan,” Maddox says, grinning from ear to ear. Donna’s face lights up so brightly that I instantly feel better and realize Maddox was telling the truth.
“Kerrigan, it’s so nice to finally meet you! To say I’ve heard a lot about you would be an understatement!” She smiles and shakes my hand.
“It’s nice to meet you. Sorry about earlier.” I say feeling foolish for my behavior.
“No sweat. I can only imagine what you thought. I’m only still here because he didn’t take his keys. I’ll get going,” she says, as she punches Maddox in the arm and walks out the door. He comes over to me and grabs my hand again.
“See? There will only ever be you.”
Maddox
I want her to start talking because I know we need to do this. If we are ever going to move forward, we need to lay it all out.
“What did you want to talk about?” I ask. She looks down at the floor. I take her hand to lead her to the couch and we sit down.
“The trial—things that are going to be said about me. I just would rather you hear it from me.” She looks disgusted. I can tell she still feels embarrassed. I’ve wanted her to talk to me. I want to help bear this burden.
“Kerrigan, before we start, can I apologize for that day at the bar?”
“You don’t need to say anything. I know you’re sorry.”
“I do, Kerrigan, I do. At least, let me try to explain. You’re the only girl I ever obsessed about, who I needed to be near. It scared me. I thought I didn’t want anything serious, and still, I kept going back to the bar to see you. I was scared. Scared that once you knew me, you’d want to leave. I felt as though I was forgettable. Maybe I still feel that way, which is why I am so scared for you to leave.”
“I get it, Maddox,” she says, “I do. The day you told me about your parents, I figured it out. You make yourself forgettable to the women you sleep with. You need to stop. I won’t forget you. I’m not going to lie, it hurt. For months, I couldn’t look at you because I still wanted you. I didn’t grow up with the physical abuse that you did. I grew up being a nobody to my parents. I lived in the same house with my mom, and she never really acknowledged I existed. With my dad, I think it hurt worse. From time to time, I’d see him, his wife, and Ari doing family things—shopping, going to the movies, and once, I saw them at the pool. I was there with Lani; we had set our towels down and gone for a swim. When we needed a break, we went back, and there they were, sitting right next to us. Ari said hi and tried talking to me, but my dad didn’t even look my way.
“I think that’s why that day at the bar hurt so much,” she continues. “We had planned a date the day before, and then you did that. It made me think something was wrong with me. No one except Lani at that point had ever made an effort to get to know me. When Aaron started coming around, he did, and with my low-self esteem, I jumped all over that because he was the first person to ever want me.” I feel like daggers are being thrown at my heart. It’s a piercing pain to know I hurt her so deeply.
“He wasn’t the first person to want you, Kerrigan, I was. I was too dumb and scared to admit what I was feeling for you. The second I saw the hurt in your eyes was when I knew there was no going back to the man I was before. I wanted forgiveness, even though I knew I didn’t deserve it. I’m so sorry I hurt you that way, Kerrigan. That’s why I came in every day and sat at the bar—to say I was sorry. I knew it wasn’t working, but I still needed to say it because you deserve it.”
“I forgive you,” she says. “I forgave you a long time ago, Maddox. I could see you were torturing yourself and I hated it.”
“Thank you.” I’m at a loss for words. I sit there in silence because I can’t express what’s going on inside of me. The depth of love I feel for this woman, the fear that she won’t return, the hatred for the man responsible for this, are just too much.
“Maddox,” Kerrigan says, breaking the silence. "I want you to know and to understand that my leaving has nothing to do with you.”
“I know, Kerrigan. It’s killing me, but I get it.”
“Do you remember the night of the Police Officers' Ball?” she asks, and I think, “Yes.” That was the night I knew for sure my heart no longer lived inside of my chest, it was in hers.
“Yeah, I remember. I was so jealous that night. Seeing you smile while clinging onto his arm. It was a tough night.”
“That was the night I realized he wasn’t the man for me,” she says, “that I was nothing but bragging rights to him. He caught me looking at you that night before our run in.” My heart stops, and I look her in the eyes. “That evening, when we got home, was the first night he hit me.” Fucking bastard. Trying to remain calm is going to be difficult.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, or be the man you could turn to. I think everyone knew, but you wouldn’t say anything. I can understand you not trusting me.”
“That night,” she says, “when he hit me, I felt as though I deserved it—almost like I had cheated on him. I know I didn’t, but that night, I knew that I loved you. Then he threatened me, saying if I left, he’d kill you. So I knew I loved you when I didn’t walk out that front door. I wanted you safe.”
“Fuck, Kerrigan, we’ve wasted so much time. If I hadn’t fucked up that day, we’d be married, living in the burbs, with our sons running around. You wouldn’t have been in the arms of that animal.”
She gives me the same smile that always ignites me whenever I see it.
Kerrigan
I see that same future with him even now. I just can’t commit to anything until Aaron is just a fading memory.
“Would you come to Kentucky?” I ask. “We could have our first date?”
“Kerrigan, I’d walk to Kentucky just for a glimpse of you. You get settled and tell me when.”
“Alright, I should get going. We can talk more later. It’s getting late.” I can’t stop thinking of the way he felt inside me. I still don’t know what he looks like underneath his clothes.
“Let me take a shower really quick. You can watch TV, and then after I finish, I will take you home.”
“Can I join you?” I ask. The look on Maddox’s face is priceless. His jaw dropped, his eyes widen, and he rubs his hand over his five o’clock shadow. It’s our last night for God knows how long, and as much as I enjoyed the first round, I want something sweet. Something I’ve never had.
Maddox
Did I hear her right? She wants to join me in the shower? Fuck yeah she can join me!
“Kerrigan, I told you before to kiss me when you feel like it. I’d like to extend that invitation to shower with me when you want—fuck me when you want. You own all of me, Kerrigan.”
“Alright” is all she says. Now what? I feel like a fucking teenage virgin. Do I take her by the hand? I’ve never given much thought to what I wanted sex to be like. In and out has always been fine by me. With Kerrigan, I don’t want fast. I want to spend the night buried inside her. I’ve been told I am a sweet guy. I’ve never had to be romantic, though. I want Kerrigan to have that. I take her by the hand and lead her to the bathroom. I turn the shower on and walk over to her.
While the water is warming, I look her body over. I can’t wait to see what she looks like completely naked. I place my hands at the hem of her dress and slowly start pulling it over her head. Along the way, I make sure my fingers graze her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. As I graze past her breast, I can’t help but lean down and lick each nipple. They're perfectly rounded, and her nipples are hard. I flick my tongue around them a couple more times before moving on. Once her dress is off, I look over her body again. She is even more beautiful than I imagined. Fuck me! She is wearing a baby blue lace matching bra and panties. It’s perfect next to her tan skin. I start working her bra and lean down to kiss her neck. I can feel her vein pulse against my lips. My dick is trying to claw its way out
of my pants. I feel Kerrigan’s hands go to my shirt; she lifts it and brings it over my head. I watch a smile form on her beautiful face.
“I wondered what you looked like under this,” she says nervously.
“I hope it’s what you hoped for,” I say, as she runs her silky smooth hands up and down my abs.
“Yes, Maddox,” she whispers near my mouth, “it’s exactly what I hoped for.”
We finish undressing and get into the shower. I take my time washing her body, making sure I feel every part of her. Kerrigan is tall and slender. Her tits are on the smaller side, but a perfect B cup. I can’t wait any longer, so I pull her against me. With Kerrigan’s wet, hard nipples against me, I start kissing her. I place my hand at her slit and make contact with her clit. I hear Kerrigan let out a small gasp. Hearing it has my dick impatient. I have to remind it, that this moment is for her.
Kerrigan
I hold my breath as Maddox pushes his finger inside me. He is taking his time, sliding in and out. I’ve never felt this need to have a man inside me. I feel him slide two fingers in. YES! This feels amazing. My eyes search his body; desperate to make Maddox feel the sensations I’m feeling. His dick is rock solid, so I reach for it to feel it for the first time—with my hands, I mean. He grabs my hand just as I get a small feel.
He whispers into my mouth, “Wait...this moment is for you, Kerrigan. Only you....” Hearing his deep, gravelly voice makes my knees go weak. How can so much pleasure make me want to pass out? He's touching all the right spots. He slides his fingers out and circles my clit a few times, sending me over the edge. The feeling is so overwhelming that I try to find something to hold me up. My hand slips from the shower wall, and Maddox gives me his hand to hold onto while I ride out this incredible high. When it’s over, I plan on repaying this amazing favor. I watch as he takes his fingers and licks each one.
Rebuilding Stone (The Stone Brother Series Book 2) Page 10