Rebuilding Stone (The Stone Brother Series Book 2)

by Saint John, T.

  “Shit. You should be a therapist,” I say.

  She’s right. If I would’ve had a relationship with Kerrigan when I thought I might have been ready, it wouldn’t have gone well. I wasn’t completely ready to admit my feelings or wants.

  “How did your parents take it?” I ask.

  “It was hard. I knew they loved me, though. They’re proud of me. Only an uncle has an issue with it.”

  “Well, he’s an idiot,” I say.

  Donna is a good person. Conversation is easy, and she is as open-minded as they come.

  “I’m surprised you’re being so cool about it,” she says.

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re all macho and beautiful. I always thought you wanted every girl to want you.”

  “My college roommate was gay. I’ll admit I did have a problem with it. I felt as though people would think I was also gay. One night, I had planned to move out because I believed that whole talk on ‘Oh, he is watching you’, ‘Oh, he will hit on you’. Before I left, he said, ‘Sorry, you can’t see me the way I see you—as a friend.’ I realized then that I let people influence me in a way they shouldn’t. So, I unpacked. And he was my best friend all the way through college. He lives in Europe now with his husband and two kids. I’m happy for him. And I’m happy for me that I met him and had him as a great friend during those years.”

  Donna nudges my arm. “You’re a good guy, Maddox Stone.”

  “So are you.” I nudge her arm back, and we both start laughing.

  Seriously, I grew up with two brothers, and I’ve never heard them burp like that.

  Chapter 18

  Kerrigan

  It’s been two weeks since I got here. It’s so much more than what I expected. People are welcoming. It shouldn’t surprise me though because Molly grew up here, and she is the same way. Only a few people have asked what brought me here, and thankfully, no one pushes for more information. Kelly and I get along fabulously. She is spunky, loud, and has excellent taste in music. I never dreamed I’d become a country music fan, but I am one now. That’s what we’ve been doing in the evenings, listening to music and chatting. She also got me hooked on The Walking Dead. I’ve never been much of a TV watcher, but it’s our ritual. Every night we watch three episodes so I can get caught up before the next season starts.

  Today I am meeting with Jay. I’ve only had the chance to talk to him on a couple occasions. He’s been so busy catching up with work since he and Annie took a few weeks off to be with Molly. Jay offered me counseling, and I took him up on it. That makes me very nervous though, and I hope I don’t get a religious lecture. I realize he is a pastor, so I feel the need to get it out in the open that I don’t believe in God. I don’t care what anyone believes. Whatever gets us through the day and our hard times is up to each individual.

  I’m here at the church where, apparently, I will start working. I knock on Jay’s office door.

  “Come in!” he yells.

  “Hey! Is this a good time?” I ask because he looks busy.

  “Yes, of course. Sit down.”

  “Thanks.” Suddenly I’m nervous, but I don’t know why.

  “Kerrigan, I invited you here to ask if you’d be interested in working here doing the filing, scheduling weddings, bank deposits, and well, pretty much whatever else that needs to get done. I need you to be a jack of all trades.”

  I smile, thinking this job sounds perfect, but....

  I decide to just get it off my chest. “Jay, I appreciate the job offer, but I think you should know that I don’t believe in God. I won’t be attending Sunday services, and I just wanted to tell you upfront. If that changes your offer, I understand.”

  I watch as a smile crosses his face. I totally see Molly in this man.

  “Kerrigan, my job as a pastor isn’t to pass judgment,” he says, shaking his head. “It’s to help those who need it. To be an ear to those who need one, and offer guidance from those who seek it. Yes, I wish everyone believed. I know by faith that what I believe is real. I’ve learned over the years that I need to lead by example. People who see me as a man of God also see me as peaceful, happy, and in love.” Wow. He’s good. I find myself wanting what he has, minus the God part. I can tell already that he will be a big help for me.

  “Okay. I just wanted you to know.”

  Again, he smiles. “Do you want to start our counseling session now? Since you’re here.”

  “Sure” I say because as much as I am enjoying Kentucky, I miss Maddox.

  “Alright. Lets start with your childhood. Tell me about your parents and your relationships with them.”

  “My dad and my mom were never married. My dad left early, and eventually, he got married and started a new family. I wasn’t in his life much, and it wasn’t until recently that I formed a relationship with my sister. My mom went from man to man. She wasn’t abusive, but she focused solely on my looks. She never encouraged me to do well in school, but she would always tell me when a strand of hair was out of place.”

  “Have you talked to your parents about the way they made you feel?” he asks.

  “I never tried with my dad. There was no hope. The woman he married hated my mom and me. I tried a lot with my mom. Finally, in my junior year of high school, I realized she never listened to what I was saying, so I stopped talking.” I take in a deep breath, and let out a loud sigh.

  “I see. I’m sorry about that. What about after you left home? Your dating life? Friendships you built?”

  “I didn’t have much of a dating life. I had a few boyfriends, and they all seemed to have just used me for sex.” I blush a scarlet red, but I don’t care right now. I need answers to my life.

  “Friendships...there was only one. Lani. I think she is the only person who knew everything about me and still wanted to be friends. She comes from money and yet she still came to the trailer park to stay the night with me. Of course, Molly came along and I am so grateful for her.”

  Again, I watch him smile. “Molly feels the same way.” He pauses briefly, and continues. “Now, why do you think the men used you?”

  “I don’t know. We would sleep together, and then it would end. For different reasons. I do know, though, it was because I was trailer park trash.”

  “Did they tell you that?” he asks.

  “No, but I know.”

  “Has anyone ever called you trailer park trash?”

  “Nope. Not one,” I answer.

  “Well, I’m sure one person has—you.”

  Dammit. He’s right.

  “For today, here’s what I want you to work on. In the moments you feel like trailer park trash, think of things that are the truth, things about yourself that you’re proud of. Are you trash?”

  “No,” I reply.

  “Then stop going there in your head.”

  “What if I don’t have anything to be proud of?” I ask. I mean look at my damn life.

  “I’ll give you a few things,” he says. "This is what I see when I look at you, you moved out and made a life for yourself. You had the courage to stand up to a man that you knew was capable of taking your life. You packed up to move here leaving everything behind. You don’t realize it, but it takes a strong woman to do all of that. You even offered my daughter friendship when she had just moved to Chicago. You have a warm heart.”

  For some reason, I start crying. Maybe it’s because when he said those things, I hear them differently in my head. I moved out because my parents didn’t want me, I was dumb enough to stay with a man who beat me, I moved because I was an idiot, and I only offered a friendship to Molly because she didn’t say yes to Maddox. I know, though, that if it were a friend going through what I’m going through, I’d offer those same words of encouragement.

  Lani has told me for years that I have nothing to be ashamed of. I never believed her. When you have a father who only does for you what is legally required, and a mother who completely ignores you, it’s hard to feel like you’re worthy of any
thing. Jay’s right. I need to stop putting myself down. I remember when Maddox told me he loved me. He listed my strengths.

  Maddox

  It’s been three miserable weeks without Kerrigan. The highlight of my day is always when I get to see her smile on Skype. She is doing well. We talked about Jay, how he is offering her advice, and how she is working at the church and getting to know people. Every day I see a new strength and a new light in her. As much as I want her here with me, I need her to be whole. And when Kerrigan truly gives me her heart, I want it to be whole.

  I’m eating at Hansons with just Evan tonight. Noah is back to work, and his time is limited. I also called Brayden because we haven’t hung out since the night Molly had Lane. All of us men, except Noah, are in the same boat of misery with the women we love. I have a feeling we are all going to get drunk.

  As I walk in, I notice Evan and Brayden have already started drinking. There are a few empty shot glasses. Looks like I have some catching up to do.

  “What are you all drinking?” I ask.

  “Whatever Ari brings us.” Brayden laughs.

  “Alright,” I say, “I’ll go grab a few shots and tell her to surprise us.”

  It’s always nice to see Ari, who is a lot like her sister. She is stronger than she believes, and yet, very girly. I return to the table and deliver the shots. We down them and start taking turns doing this, and at about three or four shots in, we start talking like a bunch of schoolgirls.

  “You guys have any advice for me?” Brayden asks. “How the hell do I prove to Missy that I love her, and if given the chance, I could love Cade?”

  Evan starts laughing. It’s a slow drunk laugh. “You’re at the wrong table, my friend,” he says, slurring his words. “Maddox’s girl moved a few states away, and my girl is a bitch...a straight up bitch.”

  “So you admit Lani’s your girl?” I ask.

  “Not yet. I don’t want her to be my girl. But...I do want to tie her up and fuck her brains out.”

  Okay then. We never hid our sex life, but we never talk this openly about it either.

  “You’ve got to stop acting like a caveman,” I say, “Lani doesn’t respond to that.”

  “Oh, she will,” he says with confidence.

  “I can’t believe I am sitting here with you guys,” says Brayden. “Lani isn’t a prize. The sooner you see that the better off you’ll be.” He is already so deeply in love that he avoids any talk about Missy that way. He knows that an image of a naked Missy would cross our minds. Brayden’s a caveman too. He just doesn’t know it.

  “Fucking Lani into submission would be a prize,” Evan announces.

  “I’m going to get something else to drink.” Brayden says, disgusted.

  “What’s going on, Evan?” I ask. I notice he seems angry tonight.

  “Nothing,” he replies. “Rough day at work. Sexually frustrated. The list goes on and on, brother.”

  “You see those two girls standing in the corner?” I ask him. “Why don’t you go talk to them?” But, for the first time ever, Evan says no.

  We drink a couple more shots, and then Brayden and I stop. Evan doesn’t. Something is going on. As we were sitting here talking, Lani and her boyfriend, Jase, walk in. Oh, shit. This is not going to end well. I’m thinking I need to ask Ari to get Lani to the bathroom. Evan stands up, turns around, and locks eyes with Lani.

  “Next round is on me, boys,” Evan says, walking off.

  “Evan, wait,” I say, “let me.” I try to grab his arm, but he jerks it away and walks off.

  I turn to Brayden and say, “I hope you’re sober enough to help me restrain Evan.”

  Brayden doesn’t even flinch; he is up on his feet ready for whatever is about to go down. I swear, for a bunch of grown professional men, we turn to schoolyard boys when our women are involved. I just pray I don’t have to arrest Evan. I text Noah, just in case. He’s at the hospital.

  Heads up. Evan is drunk. You may be getting a patient shortly. - M

  Why? - N

  Lani/Jase - M

  Oh shit. - N

  That’s all he says because he knows there isn’t a soul he wouldn’t beat down for his girl.

  I’m surprised to watch Evan pull up a chair beside Lani. He sits there casually as Lani starts shifting in her seat. I shake my head to Ari, who seems to be on alert as well.

  “Alani, it’s nice seeing you again,” Evan says with a smile.

  “Jase, you ready?” Lani asks, as she turns straight to face Jase without speaking to Evan.

  “You alright, Lani?” Jase asks.

  “I will be, as soon we get home.”

  “We just got here,” Jase responds.

  “I know,” Lani replies, sounding irritated. “Let’s just go okay?”

  “Why you running, Alani?” Evan asks.

  “I’m not running. I’m just avoiding you,” Lani states.

  “Excuse me, I think you’re making Lani uncomfortable. You should leave,” Jase says.

  I cringe. Jase is a tool, but I do like that he is willing to stick up for Lani.

  “I’m not making her uncomfortable,” says Evan. “It’s the kiss we shared. That’s what has her wanting to run. She’s afraid.”

  “Lani?” Jase looks at her with interrogating eyes.

  “I’m leaving,” says Lani, as she stands up. “Have a good night, boys.”

  “Not until you tell me what’s going on.” Jase says.

  “Jase, first of all, we’re not dating,” Lani says, holding up her pointer finger. “And second, I didn’t kiss that asshole. He kissed me.”

  “Oh, she kissed me, Jase. Her tongue was definitely all over mine.”

  “Well, her tongue was all over my dick last night,” Jase boasts. “Looks like I win here buddy.”

  Oh, fuck me. I want to tell Jase to run.

  “Both of you hush! I don’t belong to either of you,” Lani says in a rush. “Please, just stop.” I think she knows Evan is one word from crazy.

  “You belong to me. Hear me now, Alani. You’re fucking mine,” says Evan, as he grabs Lani again and kisses her. Evan was right; she is clearly kissing back. She eventually smacks his chest after he touched hers.

  “Evan, I don’t know what your sudden obsession is with me,” says Lani. “Get over it. I’m not leggy. I’m not into whips or gags. Jase, I expect this macho shit from this guy.” She points to Evan. “You’re above this behavior.”

  Jase tries to speak up, but Evan gets in first. “Alani, I’m not into whips and gags either. When I inflict sexual pain, I do it with my cock, my hand, and maybe some fisting.”

  Ugh. Drunken Evan needs to shut up. He isn’t winning her over with this talk. Lani backs up. She is having a stare down with Evan. She’s pissed, but I see something in Lani that I can’t put my finger on.

  “Lani,” Jase says, “you let this man kiss you in front of me. And you’re mad at me?”

  Lani looks at him and says, “I’m not mad. I’m just wondering why you felt the need to explain us to Evan. Evan is nothing to me.”

  Ouch! That had to be hard for Evan to hear.

  “You’re right. Sorry. Let’s just go.” Jase says and smirks at Evan.

  “Enjoy your night!” Evan smarts off.

  “I will. Don’t worry.” Jase winks at Lani.

  “You know what? I’m going home alone!” Lani storms out the bar.

  Jase follows Lani out the door. Thankfully, Evan stays put. I decide to send Noah a text to let him know everything is okay. Brayden and I stay close to Evan because something is wrong. I just don’t know what it is.

  “Evan, are you sure it’s just Lani that has you upset? I’m missing something. I just don’t know what.”

  “I think I will go relieve some stress,” Evan says, as he walks past me, and heads straight for the two girls that were standing in the corner.

  Chapter 19

  Kerrigan

  I’ve been here a whole month. Adjusting to this new environment
was easier than I thought. Today, I met with a young couple that are about to get married in a little over nine months. I think she might be pregnant. She didn’t say it, and I didn't ask. They are both in their early twenties, with little money. I offered to make her floral arrangements and help decorate the church. She was so excited. It made me excited to help this young couple who are obviously madly in love.

  I’ve always loved decorating. I spent my entire life dreaming of my future home and how it would be decorated. I’ve planned every detail of my wedding. This is the perfect job for me. Also, Jay has helped me work through so much. He said that if I know in my heart I’m a good person and my intentions are always good, then what people think of me shouldn’t bother me. He’s right. I’ve spent my entire life worrying about what people thought of me. I realize what people think shouldn’t matter to me.

  It’s the end of my workday. Kelly and I are going out to get our nails done. I decide to call before I get home to see if she needs anything.

  “Hello?” Kelly answers sounding pained.

  “I called to see if you needed anything. You okay?” I ask

  “Cramps. Can you pick up some tampons?”

  “Sure. Do you want to wait to get our nails done?” I ask.

  “If you don’t mind. We can order pizza and veg out if you want,” she says.

  “Sounds good to me.”

  I'm at the grocery store and was going to pick up some wine, but can’t. I’m not sure, but this has to be one of the few remaining dry counties. I laugh when I think about it.

  I head to the personal products aisle. I’m glancing at all of the feminine products. Why are there so many options in the pad aisle? Long, thin, wings, heavy flow, light flow, panty liners. Okay, the pads I can understand to an extent. But, isn’t a tampon a tampon?

  I don’t know what she wears so I grab a couple and throw them in the cart. As I continue down the aisle, my eye catches a pregnancy test. When was my last period? I think trying to do period math. I grab my phone and look at my period app. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. I’m late. Really late. I throw three pregnancy tests in my cart and rush to the check out.