The Glass Admiral

by Kit Smart

  The black of his uniform made it difficult to tell but she thought she detected a slight rounding of his belly that could indicate bloating. Raising herself up on her tiptoes she leaned forward ever so slightly to see if she could get a better view only to have to lower herself back down and drop her chin when the admiral shot her an irritated look and slid his chair closer to the desk thus effectively obstructing her view.

  Recognizing that the majority of Kosuri’s irritation was most likely the result of the pain caused by having remained seated in one position for too long; she gave him her blandest look and settled into position to wait for the meeting to come to an end without concern for any possible forthcoming repercussions from the admiral.

  “Advise Commander Segovia and Lieutenant Oduwole of my intention to board the Silver Wolf and have them coordinate the necessary security arrangements.” She was considering just how she was going to get Kosuri up and stretched out once the captain left when the admiral’s words penetrated her meanderings on the relative merits of hot packs vs hot blankets. “I will meet the security team in shuttle bay six in one hour.”

  Saverna rocked back on her heels and opened her mouth to protest only to be stopped short with a glare from Kosuri. Not in front of the captain. His eyes flashed a reminder and Saverna snapped her mouth shut and treated him to a glare in return. You can’t just spring this on me like this.

  “Sir, are you sure that’s wise?” Odell frowned. “The ship isn’t yet one hundred percent secure. Lt. Oduwole and his team are still clearing the ventilation shafts of strays and if something were to happen…” The captain trailed off as as thick silence enveloped the room.

  “If something were to happen?” Admiral Kosuri prompted in a carefully neutral tone that was at odds with the skin pulled tightly across his cheekbones.

  Saverna watched as the fingers of his right hand pulled back against the palm of his hand and felt a burst of sympathy for Odell. Here it is, what everyone dances around. I wonder how well it is that you dance Captain Odell.

  Odell let out a breath. “Your safety would not be guaranteed sir.” When Kosuri didn’t react to that Odell continued. “As admiral of this flotilla, your safety is of paramount concern—”

  “As Admiral of this flotilla I, a combat veteran with twenty years experience in fleet, will be traversing a secured ship accompanied by a security team and my bodywoman.” Kosuri tilted his head back and regarded Odell through slightly narrowed eyes. “I believe that places the odds pretty squarely in our favor wouldn’t you say Captain Odell?”

  “Yes sir.” Odell responded with the careful neutrality of an officer who knows he has crossed a line and is hoping to avoid consequences. Saverna watched the admiral’s right hand tighten slightly. Here be dragons Odell.

  “You are dismissed.” Kosuri told him evenly.

  “Yes sir.” Odell rose, snapped a salute at the Admiral and exited.

  The last modicum of her irritation vanished and was replaced with concern as she watched Kosuri push himself to his feet after the captain’s departure. Definitely bloated.

  The admiral held up a hand to forestall her as the door slid shut on the captain. “It couldn’t be helped LT.”

  “I know.” She told him and was mystified when his face suddenly burned a bright, furious red.

  “Sir—” She took an uncertain step forward.

  “It’s fine LT.” Bracing himself against his desk he brought his hands up to his face in an attempt to quell the reaction.

  Saverna slipped into the attached bathroom and quickly wet a cloth with cool water. Moving back into the office she brought it to Kosuri who now had his eyes closed. Reaching up she took one of his hands off of his face and pressed the cloth into it. “Here.”

  He flicked her a brief glance before burying his face in the cloth. “Thanks.” He said gruffly from behind the cloth.

  “No problem.” She told him automatically. What brought this on? She stayed where she was; close enough to be at hand should he need her but hesitant to intrude on whatever emotion it was that was causing his body to ripple slightly as blood flooded his face.

  “Kos.” She said eventually because time was passing and they had an appointment to keep in shuttle bay six.

  As she had hoped, he responded to her use of the shortened version of his name by dropping the cloth and looking at her. “Sav.” He said and exhaled hard as color flooded his face again. He blinked but kept his eyes open as he forced himself to look at her.

  It was painful to look at those reserved eyes staring out from that burning face as he struggled against whatever was going through his head. Worse to experience. The voice in her head reminded her. “What are you feeling?”

  He hesitated. Fighting all that internal reserve.

  “Let me help you.” She repeated her words from the evening before.

  Kosuri’s expression cleared slightly at the reminder but it still took him a moment to speak and his words when they came were low and slightly hoarse as though they’d been dragged from him. “I feel exposed.”

  Ah. “Because of what Odell said about you boarding the Silver Wolf?”

  “Yes.” Another furious rush of blood. “And because of this.” He gestured at his face. “Everybody knows—” He ground out and had to pause to take a breath as his face turned purple. “Everybody knows—everything that happened to me at Aizawlhar.” Another deep breath. “They’ve all seen the recordings.”

  Saverna thought about that for a moment. “Okay.” She said finally.

  “Okay?” Kosuri repeated.

  “I mean I understand.” She clarified.

  “That makes one of us.” Kosuri swiped a hand over his face. “Christ what an overreaction. I should have better control.”

  “Nope.” Saverna told him. “Your control is what’s causing this. You were legitimately triggered by what Odell said.” She affirmed. “The fact that you are having such a complex, extended reaction tells me that you had a lot of residual unexpressed chemicals sitting around on your nervous system from all the times you were embarrassed and suppressed it.” She gave him a small smile. “Your body is just seizing the chance to get rid of that chemical load. It’s not an overreaction. It’s your nervous system cleaning house.”

  Kosuri didn’t look particularly thrilled. “So, what do I do to stop it?”

  “You don’t. You try to relax into it and ride it out.”

  “LT. I have to be somewhere in—” He glanced at the chronometer on his desk. “forty-eight minutes.”

  “The more you fight it the longer it’s going to take.” She told him not unsympathetically.

  He gave her a look. “So I’m just supposed to relax into this?”

  “Yes.”

  “I don’t know how to do that Saverna.” He gritted.

  “Don’t fight it. Just let the reaction roll through you.”

  “What if it doesn’t stop”

  “It will.” She assured him. “It is absolutely going to feel like it will never stop while it is happening but I guarantee that it will.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Kosuri released his breathing and settled himself on the edge of his desk. He began to alternate between holding eye contact with her and closing his eyes as his face and throat alternated between the most violent of reds and the palest of whites.

  “Kos.” Saverna waited until he was looking at her. “I’m sorry but I need to check in with you about a few things in advance of departing to the Silver Wolf.”

  “Now?” Kosuri shifted slightly and gave her a look like talking to her was the last thing he wanted to do.

  She glanced at the chronometer. Not much time. “Unfortunately yes.”

  Kosuri following her gaze nodded. “Okay.” He began to shift in earnest—restless movements from one hip to the other; hunching his shoulders forward and then drawing them back; shifting his head from side to side; as though he was arguing with his body—trying to stop if from curlin
g in on itself. You should be on your back, letting the pressure relax your nervous system.

  “Here.” Knowing there was no time, she stepped forward nudged his knees apart until she stood between his legs. “Lean forward.” Sliding her hands under his arms around his ribcage to his back she was surprised when she encountered no resistance from Kosuri. Without a word he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and let his forehead drop to the place where her shoulder met her neck. “Good man.” She told him.

  He chuckled against her shoulder. “Please keep that in mind for the next time you’re pissed at me.”

  “Aye sir.” She smiled at this attempt at humor.

  “Saverna.” He said after a minute.

  “Yes?” Despite the circumstances, he felt good against her. Solid and warm.

  “What do you need to check in about about?”

  “Oh.” Saverna ran her hands along the breadth of his back exploring the lines of warm muscle along his spine. She forcibly dragged her brain back to the matter at hand. “I noticed that you’re a bit bloated. How are you feeling?”

  “I look bloated?”

  “A little—a very little.” She clarified in the face of the slightly offended tone.

  There was a long pause, then: “I don’t feel bloated.”

  “Good.”

  “You’re very liberal with the praise this morning.”

  “Better enjoy it while you have the chance.”

  “Is that some sort of commentary on my behaviorial patterns?”

  “You said it not me.” A relaxation of his body against her made her think perhaps his nervous system had run through its chemicals. “Do you want anything more to eat or drink?” She asked then thought better of the question. “Are you still hungry or thirsty?”

  Kosuri laughed against her shoulder. “I’m fine.” He told her. “Just a bit tired.”

  Ah. You’re finished then. “Sleep.” She said. “I’ll wake you in ten minutes.”

  Before she even finished speaking the increased weight of his head against her shoulder told her he was gone.

  11:00, SATURDAY, MAIN CORRIDOR, THE SILVER WOLF

  “We’ve managed to clean and set up temporary accommodations in two of the six cargo bays that were being used to hold the former prisoners.” Lieutenant Oduwole, a rangy marine almost the equal of the admiral in terms of height, informed them as they made their way along the corridor leading from the shuttle bay. “Sanitary facilities have been set up to provide the former prisoners access to freshers, toilets and laundry facilities and they have been provided with clean clothing in the meantime.” Oduwole took a breath. “The medical teams have performed triage on all former prisoners with most urgent cases being assigned to sickbay and the less seriously injured being treated at medical stations located inside of the two cargo bays.”

  Kosuri nodded. “And the remaining four cargo bays?”

  “We are on schedule to have another bay cleared and ready for occupancy in four hours and a fourth ready by the end of first shift tomorrow. The remaining two bays present us with more of a security problem and we won’t be able to put anybody in them until we have secured the ventilation shafts.”

  “And how long will that take?” Saverna watched the admiral readjust his crutches slightly as he angled himself through one of the compartment doors that were spaced evenly along the corridor. Unlike on the admiral’s flagship, these doors were narrow with a low casing and a high threshold that necessitated the taller members of their party to simultaneously duck the casing while stepping over the threshold. The manoeuvre meant that Kosuri had to angle his crutches in such a way so as to make any support they might provide tenuous and unstable at best.

  A few moments of watching the admiral twist and bend and pull himself at awkward angles through the compartment door all while encumbered by body armor had Saverna mentally composing a list of the hot packs and unguents she would use when they returned to the Asaro; to counteract the inevitable results of the strain on his muscles and joints. Kosuri, catching her looking gave her a tight look that warned her more clearly than words not to interfere. Stupid male pride.

  A brief inspection of the cargo bays both occupied and unoccupied terminated in medical where the number of wounded and the scope of their injuries were a shock to everyone on the team aside from Oduwole who was the only one who’d seen it before.

  “How many dead?” Kosuri asked Oduwole quietly as he took in the overcrowded medical facilities.

  “Three hundred and forty eight by our current estimate.” The Lieutenant answered just as quietly. “There are still over 72 individuals unaccounted for and the records are a mess.” He continued when the admiral shot him questioning look.

  “Planet or planets of origin?”

  “Mostly—” The Lieutenant dropped into a crouch and drew his weapon along with most of the security team as a woman began to scream. Saverna, her own weapon drawn was in the process of shoving herself bodily in front of Kosuri; who was the only member of their group who hadn’t moved; when she realized that they weren’t under any sort of threat.

  The source of the screaming was a young female patient hunkered defensively behind her bunk as she stared at them in terror. The woman was hysterical with fear, Saverna realised as she tried to make sense of the unintelligible screams.

  “Khaled” The admiral murmured behind her and when she turned to look at him he offered her a alight grimace. His home world. The woman was screaming because of him. She’s terrified because she thinks he’s a full on Recessive.

  “Among other places.” Lieutenant Oduwole glanced sideways at Kosuri as he straightened and put his weapon away. There was a general move from the security team to do the same.

  Across the room a nurse injected the screaming woman with a sedative while a corpsman restrained her.

  15:45, SATURDAY, CORRIDOR OUTSIDE MAIN INTERROGATION ROOM, THE SILVER WOLF

  By the time Kosuri emerged from the interrogation room, Saverna had run through enough scenarios in her mind about what was going on behind the slate gray doors in front of her, not to be startled by the blood and gore that saturated the front of his body armor and coated the left side of his face. It’s even in his hair. She noted from where she sat against the wall opposite the door.

  Kosuri raised an eyebrow at her as he took in her crossed arms and out stretched legs.

  “It’s been more than two hours.” She told him as she pulled her legs in and pushed herself to her feet. About to comment on his appearance, she pulled herself up short once she was face to face with him and took in the tightness in his jaw and the deep reserve in his eyes. Instead she straightened her uniform and clasped her hands behind her back. “May I be of assistance sir?” Let’s see what he does with that. She thought not without amusement as she offered the formality.

  “No. Thank-you Lieutenant.” Not a twitch or a flicker in his eyes in reaction. Locked down tight are we sir? What happened in there? “It’s time to return to ship.”

  Without comment Saverna fell into her usual position on Kosuri’s right as they made their way down the corridor back towards the shuttle bay. While they walked and ducked their way through compartment doors she wondered at the admiral’s choice not to clean himself up before leaving the Silver Wolf. Is this all in the name of sending a message? As an approaching crew member visibly paled in reaction to the sight of Kosuri; she decided that that must be it. He certainly looks the part of The Demon of Aizawlhar. She decided, after a quick sideways glance, that the blood seemed to imbue the quality of his movements with a certain creepy otherworldliness—almost as though the line between where his hands ended and the crutches began had disappeared and he was hunched over propelling himself along with his hands on the floor.

  Kosuri tilted his head in her direction questioningly and she flushed at being caught as though he could hear her thoughts.

  Back on board the shuttle, Kosuri handed her his crutches without comment as he took his seat. After refusing
her offers of water and food he crossed his arms across his chest, tilted his head back against his seat and closed his eyes.

  16:10, SATURDAY, PASSENGER COMPARTMENT, SHUTTLECRAFT NEHRU

  “Why is it that shuttle craft harnesses always resemble some sort of sex sling?” Saverna pulled the safety harness over her shoulders and eyed the assortment of straps and buckles needing to be done up. “I don’t know about you Kos, but I prefer my sex with a minimum of unnecessary hassle.” With a small huff she got to work on the buckles. “In terms of equipment in any case.”

  "I wouldn't know Lieutenant." Kos told her and then promptly wished for the deck to open up and swallow him whole as he realized what he'd just admitted. The familiar shame burned its way up from his gut until it lodged in his throat in a tight unmovable knot.

  His LT turned the full force of her intelligence on him in the form of curious green eyes. He wondered how it was she was able to look at him so normally when the other members of the away team were visibly off put by the blood and gore coating his face and uniform. "Really? You've never..." She trailed off as though in recognition of the intimacy of the question.

  Kos swallowed. You're in it now. You may as well try to preserve some dignity here. "Had sex?" He forced himself to ask levelly. "No."

  She blinked at him. “But you said…” She started then moved quickly past it. Why not?" All curiosity as though she couldn't see it.