Accidental Arrangements

by Alexandra Warren

  A new wave of nerves rushed over me as I tried to come up with an appropriate message that didn’t sound too desperate. But then again, this wasn’t about my shallow, lustful interest. This was about his interest in the room and my interest in his half of the rent.

  So I kept it simple as I typed while reading out loud, “Hello. I received your inquiry and would be more than happy to meet your needs…”

  “Meet your needs? Oh my God, Jules. You definitely wanna fuck.”

  My hands went still on the keyboard as I screeched, “I do not! I just… don’t know what to say.”

  “Just say you received the inquiry, and you’ll be willing to accept his offer for the two-month advance if he’s still interested in the room.”

  I practically typed Elizabeth’s words verbatim, quickly pressing send before my liquid courage rubbed off enough for me to back out. Then I listened in as my best friend told me about all of the dope shit she had already done in her new city, turning my nerves about my own situation into envy of hers. But the nerves quickly returned once my computer chimed signaling I had received a reply.

  I double-clicked to open the message, my heart racing as I did a quick scan for the important details before I cut her off to say, “He just responded, Liz. Said he can give me the rent ASAP if he can move in this weekend.”

  “This weekend? That’s like, tomorrow. Are you sure he’s safe? I mean, the urgency makes him sound a little too desperate. Like you’d be harboring a fugitive or something.”

  “You have to pass a background check before you get approved for the website. And besides, he looks so innocent in his picture. All buttoned up and studious with his little glasses on. I hardly see anything going wrong,” I told her as I snuck another peek, already imagining waking up to him half-dressed cooking breakfast in the mornings.

  A live-in lust bucket.

  How perfect.

  “Well… if you feel that confident, I say go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?”

  &

  The worst was happening.

  Maybe not worst in the traditional sense, but worst as far as my brilliantly irresponsible idea was concerned once I did a Google search on the roommate I had already approved the morning before he was set to move-in.

  Levi Graham wasn’t just some random, around the way guy looking for a roommate. He wasn’t some normal computer geek, or lawyer, or teacher.

  He was a superstar.

  Well… former superstar, who had obviously fallen on hard times if he couldn’t afford a place of his own.

  According to Google, his monthly salary was once equal to all of the money I had made in my lifespan, he had been featured on various magazine covers dating back to his high school days, and he had just recently been cut from his professional basketball team which explained his current circumstances.

  Then again, it didn’t.

  I mean, how was it even possible for someone to blow through that kind of money in such a short period of time?

  “Probably poppin’ bottles in the club with associates every night,” I answered to myself as I finally realized why his eyes had looked so familiar in the first place.

  After looking through the Google images associated with his name, I learned the profile picture I had been infatuated with was from his one year spent at Duke which was a solid three and a half years ago. And while it may have been representative of who he was at that time, the more recent tabloid headlines certainly disagreed with that persona. Fights in the club right before the draft that almost tanked his stock - whatever that meant -, public disagreements in the media with his coaches that almost got him traded long before he even played a single game, along with a laundry list of petty drug charges that had gotten dropped more than likely thanks to his celebrity privilege.

  I couldn’t believe I had tricked myself into believing I was actually doing the right thing by offering the room to someone who appeared to be an everyday Joe. And I was just getting ready to look into the protocol for undoing my approval when there was a knock on the door, startling me to the point of slamming my laptop shut. I moseyed over to the door, peeking through the peephole to find the bad boy himself with a duffle bag in each hand and a backpack on his back. His head was covered in a hood as he waited for me to answer. And while I considered leaving him there to wait a little longer - maybe even long enough for him to change his mind and leave - I also knew I had to accept my responsibility… or lack thereof.

  So I pulled the door open, completely avoiding his eyes which was easy to do considering how much taller than me he was, as I said, “Hello. Welcome. Come on in.”

  He followed my instructions, stepping inside and setting his bags by the door before he pulled his hood off and extended his hand to me. “Hey. How you doin’? I’m Levi.”

  “Jules,” I told him with a nod as I accepted his hand into mine.

  It was… large, exceptionally so, to the point where my mind was already drifting off until he said, “I think I know you from somewhere.”

  I yanked my hand away, shaking my head as I told him, “No you don’t. I’m a completely random stranger.”

  “Nah, I’m pretty sure I remember you. I remember your hair. And your lips,” he replied just as he licked his own. And I’ll be damned if the simple act didn’t almost distract me from my original stance until I saw the stereotypical basketball player tattoo on his neck.

  “The hair isn’t mine and my lips literally change color every day. Sometimes twice a day,” I told him as I finally closed the front door behind him before adding, “Your room is over there. You’re more than welcome to use the couch and stuff out here, but I assume you have bedroom furniture coming?”

  Instead of answering my question, he said, “The Max. You work at The Max, don’t you?”

  “Never heard of it,” I replied as I attempted to change the subject once again when I continued my tour. “Since I have my own bathroom in my room, feel free to make this one your own. But that’s usually the one guests use when they come over since its closest to the living room.”

  “My sister mentioned something about you being a bartender,” he said as he peeked into the bathroom that was mostly bare since Elizabeth had taken all of the decorations with her.

  And while I wasn’t sure what his sister had to do with anything, I had no problem telling him, “I am a bartender.”

  “And I remember the girl at The Max said your name was Jules. Your name is Jules, isn’t it?” he asked, right on my heels as I led us towards the kitchen.

  “Must’ve been my doppelgänger,” I answered with a shrug as I dug into the fridge before offering, “Would you like something to drink? My stuff is usually off-limits, but I’ll let it slide this one time.”

  Again, he ignored my question to ask his own. “Are you playing with my head on purpose?”

  “Look. I needed a roommate. You needed a room. You have your space and I have mine. Now if you have any questions about the place, the area, whatever, I can help you with that. But as for my personal life? That’s really none of your business,” I told him firmly, serving him the same attitude he had gotten the first night I informally met him.

  And it was clear he remembered that night as well as I now did as he smiled when he replied, “Mean Ass Jules. It really is you. What a small world.”

  “Too small,” I muttered as I took a sip from my bottled water.

  “Hey, you ain’t gotta be like that. I promise I’m not a bad person,” he said with the innocence of the profile picture that had tricked me into making this dumb ass decision in the first place.

  And while it was honestly even more convincing now that I was seeing it live, remembering the details of his profile allowed me to fire back, “You’re not a bad person yet you clearly lied on your application.”

  His face scrunched. “What are you talking about? I didn’t lie about anything.”

  Now my attitude could really develop as I listed, “Not a partier? Not a drinker? I saw
you do both.”

  “Well considering you just tried to lie to my face about who you were, I’d say we’re even,” he countered, shutting me up with ease.

  Since there was hardly any use in continuing down the combative route, I sighed before I insisted, “How about we try this again? Get off to a better start? I’m Jules.”

  “Levi. Levi Graham,” he replied with the same smile he had given me back at The Max. The one I had almost gotten lost in the same way I was doing now.

  Snap out of it, Jules!

  “Nice to meet you,” I said as I turned away, making myself busy putting away the dishes that were leftover in the dish rack.

  But instead of just leaving me alone, going to his room, or at least checking out the rest of the place, he challenged, “Is it really?”

  “I’m trying really hard to stay pleasant right now. Don’t mess it up,” I replied, opening the cabinet and standing on my tippytoes in an effort to put the stack of plates away without using the step stool that for whatever reason felt embarrassing to use under his watch. But my struggle didn’t last long as Levi stepped in to take the plates from my hand and placed them with ease, his height giving him a clear advantage as he closed the cabinet door behind him.

  “Alright, my bad. It’s nice to meet you too. And I appreciate you taking me up on my offer with such short notice.”

  “You’re welcome. Now if you don’t need anything else, I’m gonna go… mind my business,” I told him as I tried to escape his aura.

  But he stopped me dead in my tracks when he insisted, “Actually I do need something else.” Oh God, here we go. “I need to give you this money before it gets lost. Oh, and one of my boys is gonna be helping me move the rest of my shit in a little bit. We’ll try to keep it down,” he said as he handed over an envelope straight from the bank according to the logo printed on top.

  I was tempted to pull out the money and count it right in front of him. But since I was trying hard at the whole, “Don’t be rude” thing, I simply told him, “I appreciate the heads up.”

  “No problem, pretty girl.”

  While my right mind said don’t do it, I couldn’t help myself in challenging, “Is that what you call all of your women? Pretty girl?”

  “Why do you assume I have a bunch of women? Or assume that you’re one of them?” he countered, causing me to stumble over my words.

  “I… I mean…”

  The full smile was back as he saved me from making a fool of myself. “I’m kidding, Jules. I called you pretty girl because you are a pretty girl. I don’t mean any harm. Just stating an observation.”

  “Well… good,” I told him as I crossed my arms, gnawing at my lip while I tried to figure out my next move.

  And Levi only made things even more uncomfortable when he repeated, “Good.”

  “I’m… gonna get out of your way. Let you get all settled in. Let me know if you need anything or whatever,” I said as I slipped past him and all but darted straight to my bedroom.

  But I wasn’t far enough to miss the amusement in his tone when he replied, “Will do.”

  Levi

  “You could’ve warned me my bartender roommate was going to be a girl, Lily.” - Levi

  I pressed send on the text and shoved my phone in my pocket before I climbed onto the moving truck to grab one end of the mattress while my boy Wes grabbed the other. We had been moving things all afternoon and into the evening; first from the storage unit into the moving truck and then from the truck into the apartment. And while it would’ve been much easier to just call somebody to have it handled for me, my pockets didn’t exactly speak the same language. So I was happy that Wes actually agreed to it, even though it was clear he was over it now that we were close to finished.

  We squeezed the mattress through the front door, guiding it past Jules’s collection of furniture and eclectic decor before placing it against the wall in the bedroom I’d be calling home for at least the next five months. Then I pulled my phone from my pocket to check for my sister’s response.

  “Sorry! She was the first one to respond. How’s the place?” - Lily

  While I should’ve known putting my sister in charge of finding me a crib would equate to some sort of catch, there was no denying that she had at least picked a more than decent place for me to lay my head.

  “Its dope. Definitely a steal for the price.” - Levi

  “Yo, can a nigga get a glass of lemonade for his hard work or what?” Wes asked as he plopped down on the floor in my new room, resting on his back as he put his hands over his face in exhaustion.

  “I got you, bro,” I told him with a laugh as I left the room for the kitchen.

  Even though Jules had the door of her bedroom closed, I could still hear her singing as she got dressed according to the smell of burnt hair permeating the air; something I’d have to get used to again in living with a woman. I opened the fridge, peeking over to the closed door once again before grabbing two of her bottles of water that I’d have to replace. Then I headed back to my room while I checked my phone for Lily’s reply.

  “And the roommate?” - Lily

  I laughed to myself, knowing the roommate was definitely a topic deserving of a full blown conversation. But since I didn’t have the energy for it after moving all day, I sent my sister a basic response.

  “She’s got a little attitude, but she’ll work for now.” - Levi

  “Here you go, Wes.” I told him as I tossed one of the waters his way before cracking open my own. I took a long swig and then a second, finishing it off with ease before I checked my phone for Lily’s response.

  “Exactly what you need. Somebody who doesn’t care who the hell you are and will treat you accordingly.” – Lily

  I shook my head as I sent her reply.

  “Thanks for nothing, sis. Love you.” - Levi

  “Love you too, stupid.” - Lily

  I smiled at my phone, knowing Lily had definitely came through in the clutch regardless of the awkward situation she had put me in with Mean Ass Jules, though I really should’ve been calling her Fine Ass Jules. While my first time meeting her - if I could even call it that - wasn’t exactly pleasant, I definitely wasn’t complaining about being able to wake up to her pretty ass every day. Even with all of her attitude and feistiness, there was no denying how sexy she was, her full lips kissable as hell no matter what color they were. The hair she argued wasn’t hers was a shade of honey blonde that looked good against her golden brown skin. And while she had answered the door in jeans and a t-shirt, there was no forgetting the way both landed against her full breasts and hips.

  Jules was a woman - all woman - no matter how much our height difference might’ve said otherwise. What she missed in inches, she surely made up for in personality.

  I offered Wes a hand to help him off of the floor before I led us to the living room to watch TV since I hadn’t hooked up the one in my bedroom quite yet. But we hadn’t even made it to the couch when I heard Wes whisper, “Gotdamnnnnnnn….”

  I peeked up to see what had caught his attention, and... “Shit. Jules, where are you going lookin’ like that?”

  She rolled her eyes, checking herself out in the mirror near the front door as she answered, “Uh… to work? To earn money? To keep the lights on around this place, perhaps?”

  I felt silly asking her, “You really go to work in… that? All night?”

  And she had no problem rubbing it in when she answered, “The higher the hem, the better the tips. I mean, you’ve seen it for yourself, right?”

  Of course I had seen it. Hell, I’m pretty sure I had even commented on the shit the night I first saw her. But now that I actually knew her, something about it all felt… weird. I mean, I knew for a fact if Jules would’ve been serving my section in the barely-covering-her-ass skin tight black dress she was wearing, not to mention the sky high red bottoms she had on, I’d be trying to throw her more than just a good tip. But regardless of how I felt about it, Jules had no p
roblem challenging, “Now are you finished with your evaluation so I can go, Dad?”

  “More like daddy…” Wes muttered, causing me to push him in the shoulder.

  “Shut the fuck up, man,” I whispered to him before turning my attention back to Jules to say, “I’ll um… see you later then.”

  “He means, we’ll see you later. I think you look amazing, Jules,” Wes commented as he stepped to her.

  And while the sight had me feeling some type of way once again, everything settled when I heard Jules fire back, “Who the hell are you?”

  “Me? I’m Wes. Levi and I played in the league together,” he answered with the arrogance and charm that usually worked on any woman we came across.

  But clearly not with Jules as her face scrunched when she replied, “Ew. Goodbye.” Before she left the apartment for good.

  And I couldn’t help but laugh at the defeated look on Wes’s face as he turned back my way to say, “Damn. She’s rough. Bad as hell though. What are you gonna do with that?”

  I plopped down on the couch that smelled like it had just been sprayed with Febreze, as if Jules already knew I was going to be a little funky after moving all day. But no matter how intrigued she might’ve had me, even from something as simple as a little spray, I knew my situation – living with her as my roommate – was temporary. So I had no problem telling Wes, “I ain’t doin’ shit. Jules is… I mean… you see how she is. I’m just tryna get this money and get back into the league so I can get up out of here.”

  Of course, that didn’t stop Wes from insisting, “But since you are in here, you might as well get all the way in here. If you know what I mean.”

  “I’m cool on that, bruh. Real talk,” I told him as I turned on the TV, hardly surprised to find it on the Lifetime channel.

  “Yeah, you say that now until you see all that ass strollin’ out of here a few more times. Once she starts being nice to you, it’s a wrap. I’m calling it now,” Wes replied as he finally joined me on the couch.

  “Well how about you call your own shit with Chloe? Ya’ll still kickin’ it, right?”