Accidental Arrangements

by Alexandra Warren

  “On your hand?” he asked, more confused than anything by my explanation.

  And even though I knew it was a lie, I told him, “It was fragile. Really fragile.”

  “Damn. Maybe we should get them replaced then. I’ll talk to Maxwell about it,” he said as he grabbed another paper towel for me to trade out the blood-stained one with.

  I pressed it against my wounds as hard as I could, though it didn’t seem to matter as the second paper towel filled with blood just as fast as the one before it. Still, I couldn’t help myself in insisting, “No, no. It’s fine. They’re fine. It was just an accident.”

  “Do you see that paper towel? That doesn’t look like just an accident. I’m not tryna have you sue our asses over this shit.”

  I was almost offended that he’d even think I would do such a thing, though I really shouldn’t have been considering I was his employee. Still, I had no problem telling him, “I wouldn’t dare. It was just an accident. Really. I’ll be okay.”

  “Are you sure? You may need to go to the emergency room. Get that all stitched up. Or glued together. Or something.”

  “No, seriously. I’m fine. I promise.”

  He pulled out another paper towel, handing it to me just as the blood was beginning to drip from the last one. “Jules, this is the third paper towel you’ve bled through. That’s not normal.”

  “So maybe it’s the cheap paper towels we need to talk about getting replaced,” I told him as I pressed down on my wound once again.

  “How about you just take the rest of the night off?” Kelvin suggested as I pulled the paper towel away, grateful to see it no longer looked like a crime scene.

  And that fact allowed me to argue, “What?! No! I mean, I don’t want to. I…. I really need the money, Kelvin.”

  “Don’t worry about the money. We’ll pay you for the full shift.”

  “But what about my tips?” I whined, knowing that was really where I made my coins.

  Still, my whining wasn’t quite enough to convince Kelvin as he said, “Jules, I hardly doubt that will make much of a difference. I mean, it’s well into your shift anyway, and the bar closes in an hour.”

  “Do you know how much I make in tips in an hour? That’s the difference between my lights being on or off,” I reasoned no matter how true it actually was.

  And it was clear Kelvin knew I was storytelling as well when he teased, “You mean, the difference between your weave being Malaysian or Peruvian?”

  I brushed him off with a wave of my good hand. “Nah, those are both about the same price and already worked into my monthly budget. But seriously. Can I stay? Please?”

  Kelvin sighed, obviously more exhausted from the night than I was as he replied, “Fine, Jules. Get bandaged up and we’ll work you back in when you’re ready.”

  My smile was full blown when I told him, “Thank you, boss man. You’re the best. You and Tiana will be getting an amazing baby gift from me once junior gets here. Oh, and Ellie too. You know that’s my homegirl.”

  It was truly fascinating to see the way Kelvin had grown from a playboy college graduate, to a family man and soon to be husband. But after meeting his fiancé Tiana on several occasions and then meeting her daughter at The Max’s quarterly family outing, it was easy to understand why she was able to turn him out for good.

  “Let me guess. You’re gonna buy gifts for the kids with all these extra tips you were supposedly going to miss out on if you left? Yeah, alright Jules,” Kelvin joked as he grabbed the First Aid Kit and handed it to me to get myself back in one piece.

  I stayed at the back of the bar while I worked to get the couple of Band-Aids I needed in a comfortable position on my hand. And I was just about done when I heard Levi and Layna make their grand return.

  “Yoo-hoo, can you bring me my check please? We’re ready to leave.”

  While her use of we’re felt like a blow to the chest, something about Layna in general suddenly had me on edge. So I turned their way, choosing not to hide my scowl this time as I told her, “You can wait.”

  I watched closely as she smirked, blushing Levi’s way before turning back to me to say, “Little Jules-y. That’s not very good customer service, now is it?”

  Her question had me flexing my hand, the wounds throbbing with each squeeze though the sharp pains felt like nothing compared to the damage I wanted to do to Layna’s face when I told her, “I’m not exactly interested in being good right now. So like I said, you can wait.”

  It was clear her pleasant little demeanor was over, her tone dropping from a peppy pitch to a more serious one when she challenged, “I don’t think Maxwell or Kelvin would appreciate all of this hostility.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe not. But they appreciate my skills way too much to be worried about your complaints.”

  “I was in Maxwell’s wedding. You really think my complaints don’t hold weight around here?” she fired back as if that fact was suddenly supposed to change my mind.

  But I wasn’t afraid - not of her or of losing my job - when I answered, “I really don’t. Like, not even a little bit.”

  “We’ll see about that,” she muttered as she started to climb off of the bar stool to make good on her threat.

  But to my surprise, Levi caught her by the wrist to stop her. “Yo, chill. You ain’t gotta do all that, Layna. Jules is cool.”

  “Well her attitude isn’t, and it needs to be dealt with,” she replied, her non-existent panties somehow managing to be in a bunch.

  And of course I couldn’t help myself in pulling the wedgie just a little more when I added, “Your knack for giving shitty relationship advice on that blog of yours should probably also be dealt with, but I don’t see anybody running to the internet Gods to save the day.”

  “You know what…”

  “Layna, just get your check so we can go. It’s not that deep.”

  “Yeah, Layna. It’s not that deep,” I mocked, feeling like I was in charge now that Levi had given me a little leverage to show out.

  Layna rolled her eyes, digging in her clutch for a couple twenties before tossing them at me over the bar like I was a damn stripper. And while I should’ve been ready to deck her ass, I couldn’t help but smile as I teased, “Wow. And I didn’t even have to dance for it. How kind of you.”

  Instead of responding with words, she only grunted before taking Levi by the hand and dragging him towards the exit. I would’ve been lying if I didn’t acknowledge how watching them leave together left a small stain on my ego. And even though I felt like I had won the battle in the moment, it was clear Layna was going for the war.

  Levi

  I was prepared for the worst when I walked through the front door of the apartment only to find it as empty and dark as the first time when I arrived after work. I fully expected Jules to be home, and not just be home, but be ready to kill my ass for leaving The Max with who she obviously thought of as an enemy considering the way she had served Layna so much attitude. And while it was clear Layna was down for whatever, my conscience wouldn’t allow me to follow through and betray Jules no matter how clear she had made her disdain for me.

  It was like somehow, regardless of the way she tried to box me into the stranger-roommate category, I refused to conform. I refused to be trapped, or be the trap that Lily had already amounted me to. I refused to… give up.

  It didn’t make any sense. I wasn’t desperate for her friendship, we didn’t work the same hours so it was easy to avoid her, and she obviously didn’t share my same interests. But it felt like I had no control over the situation, even when she strolled into the apartment a few short moments after me.

  Her attitude was obvious as she made sure not to acknowledge me when she headed straight for her room without saying a word. And while I probably should’ve taken the hint, I decided to wait on the couch for her to reemerge in new clothes the way she always seemed to do.

  I heard clear as day when she opened her door, letting out an annoyed sigh as she
made a beeline for the kitchen. And I was quick to hop over the couch to join her, though I could immediately tell my presence wasn’t appreciated.

  She didn’t even give me her eyes when she asked, “Can I help you with something? Or are you just here to rub it in my face?”

  “Rub it in your face? Rub what in your face?”

  This time she looked up, a Gatorade - my Gatorade - in her bandaged-covered hand as she replied, “You and Layna. I’m just sure she gave you the ride of your life.”

  Her assumption instantly grinded my gears as my face scrunched with irritation. “Man, I didn’t even do anything with her. We walked out together, but that was it.”

  Jules looked less than convinced, brushing me off to say, “I really don’t care if you fucked her, Levi. That’s your business. I mind my own. Trying to be a role model around here, you know?”

  “I’m serious, Jules. I didn’t do anything with her. Yeah, we got our little flirt on but I left it at that,” I told her honestly, though she didn’t seem to care either way.

  In fact, she decided to be sarcastic when she replied, “So… you… want a cookie, or…?”

  “Gotdamn, Jules. Why do you hate me so much? I didn’t even do anything to you.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, getting in a defensive stance so she could fire back, “I don’t hate you. Why would I hate you? I don’t even know you.”

  “You sure knew me well enough to call me out on my lifestyle, on my past. Hell, even on my present like I’m some damn child,” I told her, feeling myself growing hotter by the second as the pent up anger finally began to boil over.

  And Jules certainly didn’t help to calm anything when she replied, “A child. Wow. Never thought of that one. But now that you mention it…”

  I cut her off. “Will you quit with that sarcastic shit? I’m tired of you treating me like I’m some scrub or somethin’ just cause I don’t do everything your way.”

  Jules put a hand to her chest, cocking her head to the side to repeat, “My way? I never asked you to do anything my way.”

  “Oh yeah? Don’t drink my shit, Levi. Don’t eat my shit, Levi. Don’t leave your basketball there, Levi. Wash your dishes, Levi. Do something for yourself, Levi,” I mocked in my best her-impression.

  But instead of actually listening to what I was saying, she only shrugged. “Sounds pretty adult-like to me. But back to this child theory…”

  “You know what? Fuck you, Jules.”

  “Fuck me? Wow. Fuck me, huh? Because I’m the one causing us to butt heads, right? I’m the one not holding up my end of the bargain and abiding by the house rules? I’m the one… mmmm….”

  I wasn’t sure what came over me, but it didn’t matter as I slid my tongue between the threshold of her lips, lifting her from her feet and setting her on the kitchen counter so we were eye-to-eye. And while mine were wide the hell open out of pure determination, hers were closed as she embraced the feel of our mouths smashed together, her lips being just as cushiony as I imagined them to be when she wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist to pull me closer.

  I could feel my dick growing harder by the second as she moaned into my mouth, yanking at the hem of my shirt to pull it over my head and giving me a quick second to breathe before I went back for more. And somehow more turned into me pushing the seat of her tiny pajama shorts to the side so that I could reach her… Oh shit, she’s waxed.

  My heart started beating even faster as I ran a fingertip along her swollen pearl, already imagining what she felt like, what she tasted like, and what kind of sounds she would make whenever I got the chance to fuck her good. And it was clear Jules wasn’t interested in making me wait as she pushed me away just enough to get rid of her shirt before moving onto her bra.

  I licked my lips as I watched her reach back to undo the clasp, freeing the perfectly-round breasts that felt especially weighty in my hand once I finally got the chance to cup them. I teased her nipple between my fingertips as I went back to her mouth that was still coated with the cherry-flavored lip gloss she wore in exchange for real lipstick. But it really didn’t matter what she had on considering I was going to devour her regardless.

  I moved my hand from her breasts to her hair, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss I had been longing to give her, though I hadn’t truly realized it until this moment. In fact, I had never realized how bad I wanted Jules until I was having her now, until I was between her legs ready to make good on whatever she wanted to happen.

  And she definitely wanted it to happen as she put her hands between us to undo the button on my jeans followed by my zipper before pushing them down with ease. I stepped back so that I could free her of the shorts that had already been a tease, leaving her completely bare as she waited for me to make my move.

  So I did, dropping to my knees and diving face first into what I already knew would be my kryptonite. It almost didn’t seem fair for her to have such a sour ass attitude towards me, but taste so sweet. But then again, it made all the sense in the world once I heard her hiss, “Shitttt Levi.”

  Her little whimpers of pleasure sounded like heaven as I kissed, and nibbled, and teased her with my tongue, sliding a finger inside while I continued to lick her clean. It was as if in that moment, nothing else mattered besides releasing whatever sexual tension lied between us. I was going to give her everything she deserved, and she was obviously ready to do the same when she demanded, “Come fuck me.”

  I stood up from my kneeled position, ready to wipe my face free of her juices. But before I could, Jules pulled me closer, desperate to taste herself on my tongue as she tied hers with mine, turning me on even more than I already was.

  While she held onto my neck, I stepped out of my boxers, my dick springing towards her heat like a dart searching for a bullseye. And at the very last minute, she stopped me to ask, “Wait. You don’t… have anything, do you?”

  “Have anything? What do you mean?” I asked, confused not to mention anxious as I stood there ass out ready to go.

  But it felt like a wave of air hit my fire similar to someone trying to blow out a birthday candle when she clarified, “Like a… STI or something?”

  I tried to hide my annoyance as I told her, “Jules, come on. I’m clean.”

  And her face scrunched as she released her hold around my neck before asking, “How am I supposed to know?”

  “Jules… you’re killin’ me right now,” I told her, once again trying to hide my irritation to save the moment.

  But to no surprise, Jules wasn’t nearly as interested as she quickly fired back, “Yeah and your STI could kill me, or trounce my ability to have kids, or increase my chances of cervical cancer.”

  I couldn’t help but be offended when I asked, “You think I would lie to you? I take this shit seriously too you know.”

  She shrugged as if she didn’t believe me, brushing me off to say, “Yeah, you might now. But that doesn’t mean you always did. When’s the last time you got checked?”

  “During my health screening with the league.”

  “Like… the first league or the second league?”

  I sighed, my dick still at full attention when I answered, “The first one.”

  “That’s a while ago!” she screeched, snapping her legs shut and pushing me away so she could hop down from the counter.

  She was already busy gathering her discarded clothes in an attempt to cover herself, but clothes were the last thing on my mind as I told her, “I haven’t even fucked with anybody like that since then.”

  “Lies. I read at least three articles about three different women you were linked to,” she replied as she yanked her shirt over her head.

  “Linked to. Not dating, not kissing, and definitely not fucking,” I told her honestly as I finally decided to gather my clothes now that the moment was completely lost.

  It truly wasn’t even fair that the media got to do whatever they wanted to when it came to my life, giving people who didn
’t even know me - like Jules - the opportunity to make false assumptions. But it was clear her idea of assumptions was even more abstract than I imagined as she slipped into her shorts and fired back, “So that’s what this is about? You just wanted to fuck me?”

  “Jules, you’re being ridiculous. I mean, did you forget you just kissed me back? You locked me between your legs? You literally just told me to come fuck you?”

  “Yeah, but that was before I came to my senses. And I’m so glad I did,” she said as she stomped towards her room like a damn baby.

  “Man, you’re even crazier than I thought,” I muttered as I stepped into my boxers.

  And Jules almost caused me to tip over as I balanced on one leg while she got in my face to say, “Crazy? I’m not crazy!”

  “Is screaming it supposed to convince me, or…?”

  “Ugh! I can’t stand you!” she shouted just as loud as she headed towards her bedroom once again.

  But the second she hit the door frame, I was sure to catch her with my words when I replied, “Yet you just wanted to have sex with me five minutes ago? Yeah, okay Jules. Whatever you say.”

  Instead of replying, she only grunted as she used her usual defense mechanism and slammed the door behind her. And while I would’ve found the action a little offensive any other time, in that moment, I decided I was better off not caring at all.

  Jules

  So maybe I was a little crazy. But it wasn’t exactly the same kind of crazy I assumed Levi had in mind.

  My “crazy” didn’t come out as a result of being unsure about what we were doing, but the fact that I was so sure until I found a loophole in the system, saving myself and my emotions in the process. I mean, there was no way in hell I could just… engage in hot kitchen sex with my annoying ass roommate and go back to normal. Seeing his dick - in all of its chocolate, veiny glory - was already enough to knock me off of my rocker. I couldn’t even imagine what would’ve happened if I would’ve actually indulged.

  Or maybe I should’ve indulged.