If Love Be Love

by Flora Kidd

  ‘Ach, I suppose since it’s yeself givin’ the orders we’ll be doin’ as ye say, although I’m thinkin’ that Nancy should be decidin’ for herself whether she is leaving or not.

  ‘Nancy is going to stay, aren’t you, Nancy?’ piped up Neil, his courage rushing back.

  ‘She’ll be havin’ to stay another two days, whateffer, if she isn’t decidin’ soon. My car isn’t one of the world’s fastest like some I know,’ remarked Ian dryly with a sly sidelong glance at the green sports car.

  ‘Of course. We can’t go to-morrow,’ chipped in Linda, ‘because it’s Saturday and the trains to Dulthorpe from Carlisle don’t run on a Sunday. Hurry up, Nancy, make up your mind!’

  Nancy, who had been staring at Logan ever since he had said ‘No’ and trying to understand his sudden interference in their plans, muttered dazedly,

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘You are staying here,’ asserted Logan brusquely.

  For once his authoritative manner did not rouse any antipathy in her. He had commanded her to stay, so she would stay.

  ‘Now whatever would you be wantin’ her to stay for?’ asked the inquisitive Ian, his shrewd blue eyes going from one to the other, his long nose almost quivering as he sensed a juicy piece of gossip.

  Logan smiled suddenly and answered him in Gaelic. Immediately Ian let out a wild Highland yell. Logan did not wait to be questioned but hurried away up the path into the cottage.

  ‘What did he say, Ian?’ demanded Linda. ‘Oh, do tell us!’

  ‘Ach, no, it is for himself to be tellin’ ye. I’m away to tell Meg. Ach, we’ll be havin’ a grand ceilidh to-night, I’m telling ye!’

  He flung back his head and let out another yell, did a brief Highland fling, went out through the gate, threw himself into his old battered car and drove away up the road to his own house.

  Nancy and Linda stood in the wet garden and stared at each other.

  ‘Do you know why Logan wants you to stay?’ asked Linda.

  ‘No. But we’ll find out. It may be only for a day or two. I’m longing for a hot drink and I know Neil must be famished because he hasn’t had any breakfast. Would you like porridge, Neil?’

  ‘Yes, please ... the way you make it.’

  Logan had just finished speaking into the phone as they entered the house.

  ‘We’re going to give Neil some breakfast,’ said Nancy. ‘Would you like some tea to drink?’

  ‘Yes, please. But Linda must do the cooking and the tea-making. I want to talk to you ... in the garden.’

  Nancy followed him outside again. It seemed as if she had no will of her own. He commanded and she obeyed. Although she did not think the garden the best place to talk on a damp day she sat on the bench beside him. It was quiet apart from the patter of water dripping from the eaves and the trees and the soft shush of the waves on the shingle shore.

  On the grass a lone thrush, plump and spotted, tugged at a worm which was reluctant to leave the warm moist earth.

  ‘You will stay, won’t you, Nancy?’ He didn’t sound so arrogant now.

  ‘I don’t see how I can. It isn’t fair to Don for Linda and me to live on the croft. He may want to marry some day. And there isn’t any work which I can do around here. There aren’t any pharmacist’s shops on Lanmore.’

  ‘But you would like to stay?’ he probed.

  ‘You know I would. Remember you said once that it would be interesting to see whether I would want to leave Lanmore once September came. Well, I don’t want to leave Lanmore ... but I have to earn my living.’

  ‘I know of a way to make it possible for you to stay.’

  He was going to suggest she stayed and acted as a nanny to Neil. She couldn’t bear the thought of it and she had to stop him before he made the suggestion.

  ‘If you’re thinking of offering me a position in your household as Neil’s nanny, don’t bother, because the answer is quite definitely no.’

  ‘The thought never entered my head,’ he replied coolly. ‘I was thinking that the way for you to stay on Lanmore would be for you to marry me.’

  Marry him! Marry Logan Maclaine who regarded marriage as an outmoded ceremony and as a form of human sacrifice! She couldn’t believe her ears.

  ‘Surely you don’t mean that? Why, only last week you told me that you had never had any intention of marrying anyone. And Mary told me that you still had no intention of marrying.’

  His grin was rather rueful.

  ‘Did I say that to her? Put it down to one of my sour moods. I haven’t been the best person to live with since you refused to change your principles for me. And I haven’t been on good terms with Mary because I felt she had been talking too freely to you about my past affairs. Certainly I had no intention of marrying anyone until I met you, Nancy Allan, and here I am proposing to you because it’s the only way I can think of to prevent you from leaving Lanmore ... and me ... short of kidnapping you and carrying you off to the Lodge to keep you there under lock and key, which you must agree is not a civilised way of behaving.’

  ‘But why do you want me to stay?’ she asked breathlessly.

  ‘Because I love you. What other reason could there be? I’ve loved you ever since you stood in the lamplight in the kitchen and wouldn’t admit defeat in spite of the damp dusty cottage and the thought of having to light a peat fire. I loved you because you didn’t care who I was or what I had done. I loved you and I tried to make you love me ... but always there was Rod in the way to block any progress.’

  Nancy sat tensely, not daring to look at him. Then she felt his fingers in her hair.

  ‘Look at me, marigold lady,’ he murmured.

  She turned her head and at once he framed her face with his hands.

  ‘Don’t you believe me?’ he questioned softly.

  She believed him because love was there in his eyes and on his lips as he kissed her gently.

  ‘I am thinking you are not far from loving me, either,’ he taunted tenderly as he released her.

  ‘I’ve been in love for days ... for weeks ... with you,’ she answered, ‘but I couldn’t believe it was possible. I hadn’t known you for very long and I’d known Rod for years.’

  ‘And nothing I said or did would move you in your loyalty to him. I guessed you were bewildered and unhappy and like you I wasn’t sure whether I loved you enough to change my way of life, to risk marrying you. You see, Nancy, my parents’ marriage and my brother’s marriage were not shining examples and have made me rather overcautious and perhaps a little cynical.’

  ‘If you’re not sure...’ she began uncertainly.

  ‘What are you going to suggest?’ he cut in with a mischievous grin. ‘A trial marriage?’

  ‘I’m willing if you would prefer it,’ she replied seriously.

  He laughed and shook her gently by the shoulders.

  ‘Oh, Nancy, if ever I wanted convincing that you love me that’s done the trick,’ he said. ‘No trial marriage for us. I’ve learned recently that I’m just as possessive and jealous as the next man. I want everyone to know that you’re mine, and the best way of advertising that is to marry you with all the necessary pomp and ceremony. And now I’m wanting badly to kiss you.’

  ‘Here?’

  ‘What better place is there?’

  ‘But the neighbours...’

  ‘I told Ian Macrae that I intended to ask you to marry me, so they will have been watching and waiting.’

  They kissed, and Nancy forgot that her feet were cold and damp in her mud-caked shoes. Around them in the quiet garden the birds twittered. On the hillside a sheep bleated and out on the grey loch the sea-gulls cried.

  ‘Tea’s made!’ called Linda. ‘Oh, I didn’t know you were busy.’

  Logan raised his head and smiled at her.

  ‘You can get used to us being busy, as you call it. I’m going to marry Nancy.’

  ‘Another hero falls from his pedestal,’ mourned Linda dramatically.

  ‘Does that mean N
ancy is going to stay?’ asked Neil, nudging close to his uncle’s knees.

  ‘I hope it does,’ said Logan.

  ‘Yes, I’m staying, Neil, and you won’t have to say goodbye,’ said Nancy.

  ‘Then I won’t have to get lost any more.’ Neil smiled seraphically as they all looked at him with puzzlement.

  ‘Do you mean to say you’ve been getting lost deliberately?’ asked Logan, and there was menace in his voice.

  ‘Not the first time, but all the other times. In Skye ’cos I wanted to go back on the boat. Last time ’cos I didn’t want to go to London with Mummy. And this time ’cos you were cross and I knew you would come to ask Nancy if I was here ... and you’re never cross when you’re with Nancy, and I didn’t want her to go away.’

  The explanation of his motives was becoming too complicated for Neil, so he stopped and stared up at his uncle appealingly.

  Nancy and Linda couldn’t help laughing at his confession, but Logan frowned at his nephew, who took a few steps backward in haste. Linda grabbed him by the hand and still choking with laughter said,

  ‘I think you’ve done enough for one morning, you little manipulator! Come and have your porridge.’

  They went into the cottage. Logan muttered through his teeth, ‘Manipulator is too mild a word to describe that child. He’s nothing less than a blackmailer. He’ll always get people to do as he wants by fair means or foul.’

  ‘But without him getting lost that first time, we might never have known each other really well,’ whispered Nancy.

  ‘Don’t you be believing that,’ he admonished softly. ‘I’d have found a way. Once you stepped on to the soil of Lanmore you were lost to the rest of the world, and when winter comes and we’re sitting together in the long dark evenings I shall be telling you why.’