Love Again: Love's Second Chance Series

by Kathryn Kelly

  Patience was the one thing Claire was good at. Noah had unintentionally schooled her well in that. She’d basically learned to see him when she saw him.

  If she and Grayson had been in a relationship, she told herself, she would have called him. No more waiting and wondering.

  But they weren’t in a relationship. And they weren’t going to be. Less than two months and he would be on his way. It wasn’t wise to get too attached.

  Reattached.

  Claire turned off her computer and stood up. She stretched and checked the time. It was time to meet Danielle for lunch. Then counseling.

  She checked her phone. No messages.

  She grabbed her handbag and, as she walked through the gallery, glanced at the two new paintings that had come in for her review.

  Neither one particularly drew her to them. Not enough to bring the artist in.

  She would put out another ad.

  Danielle didn’t have much to say at lunch. After four days of not having Grayson teaching her psychology class, her interest in the subject had waned. They both spent much of their time at lunch on their phones.

  After lunch, they got into the car to drive to the mental health clinic.

  “Do you want to drive?” Claire asked.

  Danielle lifted her shoulder in its sling.

  “I know,” Claire said. “But do you want to? It’s been ages since you’ve asked to drive. You should be used to your antidepressants by now.”

  “No,” Danielle said, scrunching her nose.

  “I thought all teenagers wanted to drive.”

  “Driving is retro. I’m gonna have a driver when I go to work.”

  Claire laughed. “Really? How are you going to afford this driver?

  Danielle shrugged and resumed texting. “I don’t know. I’ll probably just live close to work and walk.”

  Claire moved into traffic and considered her daughter’s statement. Danielle’s father had the same aversion to driving. Perhaps Danielle inherited this from Noah. In Noah, it manifested in wanting to fly everywhere. Danielle didn’t want to fly, but she didn’t want to drive either. Her daughter preferred to keep her eyes glued to her phone.

  Generations were changing, Claire mused.

  Her phone chimed indicating a text message. Claire’s hand reflexively moved to pick up her phone. She glanced at her daughter and put her hand back on the wheel.

  And sighed.

  Perhaps she couldn’t blame Noah after all. Perhaps Danielle was just a product of her time. Maybe, Claire thought, she should get a driver.

  Her fingers itched to check her message, but she made it all the way to the mental health parking lot before she grabbed her phone.

  It was text from Grayson. I’m back in town. Catching up. Teaching tomorrow. Dinner tomorrow night?

  She followed Danielle into the clinic with a little spring in her step that had been missing all week. They sat in the waiting area and Claire sent back a quick text. Okay.

  She didn’t want to seem overly enthusiastic, but the smile on her face had Danielle looking at her sideways.

  “You heard from Grayson.” Danielle said.

  Claire bit her lip to hide the smile that threatened to spread across her face.

  “You did!” Danielle said. “Is he back?”

  “He’ll be in class tomorrow.”

  “Thank goodness,” Danielle said. “I don’t think I could stand another day of those boring lectures.”

  “You do know, that most college professors do just that – lecture?”

  “Danielle?” Dr. Lee called from his office door.

  Claire and Danielle went into his office and settled onto Dr. Lee’s couch. He sat across from them and smiled. “You both look rather happy today.”

  “Mom’s crushing on my psychology professor,” Danielle said.

  “Danielle,” Claire said, her cheeks hot. “I am not!”

  “Well, technically he’s her old boyfriend from high school, but they haven’t seen each other for like twenty years.”

  Dr. Lee studied Claire. Smiled. “I’ve never seen you look this happy,” he said.

  “Things are going well,” she said. “At the foundation.”

  Dr. Lee glanced at Danielle who shrugged. “It’s okay,” he said, turning back to Claire. “to have some happiness in your life.”

  “I have happiness,” she said.

  “Good,” Dr. Lee said, then turned back to Danielle. “What’s going on with you, Danielle?”

  As Danielle talked about her classes and her new boyfriend - that Claire hadn’t known about - Claire, reflected about what Dr. Lee had said.

  Did people really think she wasn’t happy? Was she happy? Had she ever been happy?

  She was happy. They had been right, she did have to admit. She was crushing on her old boyfriend. And…

  Claire realized she had been happy in high school, her sophomore and junior year before Grayson left for the Air Force. In fact, her fondest memories were there. With him.

  History, it seemed, was repeating itself.

  In more ways than one. She’d known then that he would be leaving for the military. And she knew now that he was leaving for a one year teaching position. He’d said he was coming back then. This time he hadn’t said that.

  This time he wasn’t making any promises.

  We’re not in a relationship this time.

  “Claire, are you alright?” Dr. Lee asked.

  Claire jerked herself out of her reverie and smiled. “Yes. I’m good.”

  “Danielle was just asking if she could have her guy friend come over tomorrow.”

  Claire looked at Danielle who was watching her expectantly. “Of course. She doesn’t have to ask me that.”

  “You’ll have to go pick him up, Mom. He lives on campus and he doesn’t have a car.”

  “Do you want to go get him?” Claire asked.

  Danielle held up her bum shoulder.

  “Right. Of course. I’ll drive you to pick him up.” So tomorrow, Claire contemplated, she would be double-dating with her daughter.

  Chapter Eight

  The rain set in the next day. The weather channel described it as a rare westward monsoon thunderstorm.

  Grayson juggled his umbrella, three pizza boxes, and a single red rose he’d picked up for Claire. It would have been a perfect day to get delivery, but Claire wanted to try a new pizza place that didn’t deliver.

  Grayson didn’t mind picking up the pizza. He just needed to find a way to keep everything from getting soaked.

  When he got to the safety of the front porch he was soaked, but somehow he’d managed to keep the pizza and the flower dry. Mission accomplished.

  Claire opened the door and burst out laughing.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, biting her lip. “It’s not funny. You’re soaked.”

  “I’m glad I could provide humor to your day,” he said.

  She took the pizza from him and set it on the table in the foyer. He took the rose from under his jacket and handed it to her. A host of emotions ran across her face, the strongest being surprise.

  “Oh. Wow,” she said, closing her eyes as she inhaled its scent.

  He didn’t ask. Didn’t want to know. But he could only imagine that it had been quite some time since anyone thought to bring her a flower. Even something so simple as a rose bud.

  When she opened her eyes, she had so much unguarded emotion, it caught him off guard. “You’re beautiful,” he said.

  Again, surprise.

  And he felt so much regret for the girl he’d left behind all those years ago.

  If he knew now what he knew then, he would have found another career. He would have found a way to stay with Claire.

  He vowed to himself in that moment to do everything he could to make it up to her.

  “Is Claire’s boyfriend here?” he asked.

  “They’re in the living room playing a video game. Thank you for getting the pizza. If I’d known it was go
ing to rain, we would’ve gotten delivery instead.”

  “I don’t mind the rain,” he said. “And anything for two beautiful girls.”

  “You’re soaked,” she said.

  “Yeah,” he ran a hand along his jeans. He’d gotten wet getting the pizza, then again getting from his car to Claire’s door.

  “Let me put those in the dryer for you.”

  “I don’t have any other clothes.”

  “Some of Noah’s are still upstairs in a box. I’ll grab you some sweats and a t-shirt,” she said and before he could answer, she dashed upstairs. About two minutes later, she was back.

  “You can change in the bathroom right here,” she said, indicating the half-bath on the way to the kitchen.

  Grayson took the clothes into the bathroom and after drying off with a towel, pulled on the sweatpants and shirt. He refused to give any more thought about wearing her ex-husband’s clothes.

  After changing, he took the wet clothes and handed them to her. She put them in the dryer, then they took the pizza into the living room and Danielle introduced them to Sam.

  “Sam’s in our class,” Danielle said.

  “Sure,” Grayson said, hoping he hid the fact that he had no idea. The college freshmen all looked alike to him. Until he got to know them, of course. It was one of those unfortunate things that went along with aging.

  “Are you two ready for your test on Monday?” he asked.

  They looked at each other. “We’re going to go upstairs and study after we eat,” Danielle said.

  Claire rolled her eyes and looked at Grayson. “We did a lot of studying in our day, didn’t we Grayson?”

  Grayson was so caught off guard by her statement, it took him a minute, then he burst out laughing. “I blame our studying on that C I got in Calculus. But your mother was a different story. No matter how much we studied, she still managed to pull off A’s every time.”

  Claire blushed. He had caught her by surprise, too, it seemed.

  “You started it,” he said, with a wink.

  “Well, why don’t we eat this pizza before it gets cold. Grayson had to brave the thunderstorm and rain to get it here.”

  The youngsters only needed one invitation.

  After they ate, they were true to their word and headed off upstairs to study.

  “Some things never change,” he said.

  “What? Their studying?” Claire asked as she stacked plates. “I much prefer them studying upstairs than being out somewhere doing drugs.”

  “That’s an excellent point. And I agree completely.”

  “Hey,” Claire said. “Have you noticed that young people don’t care about driving and cars anymore? Or is it just Danielle?”

  “No. I’ve noticed. With a couple of exceptions, they don’t go to malls either.”

  “I think it’s because they aren’t motivated to go anywhere. They can do everything on their phones.”

  “Almost everything,” he said, teasingly, indicating the giggles coming from upstairs.

  “It’s been awhile…” she said.

  “Since you’ve seen anyone?”

  “Ha. There have only been two for me.”

  “Two? Two men?”

  She kept her eyes down as she put the pizza boxes in the garbage disposal. “You. And then I married Noah. I’ve only been divorced for less than a year.”

  She straightened and raised her chin. Did he imagine the ever so slight quiver of her chin? “And you? Are you seeing anyone?”

  “I like to think I’m seeing you,” he said.

  Her eyes widened and she turned away to wash her hands in the sink. With the dish cloth in her hands, she turned back to face him. “Are we doing this again?”

  He was blindsided by her question. Were they? “No,” he said. Her eyes widened. “Claire.” He did the only thing he could think of to do. He closed the distance between them and drew her into a hug. She put her arms around him. And he just held her to him.

  “I don’t know how to answer that question,” he said, murmuring against her ear.

  “I know. You don’t have to,” she whispered.

  “No. I think I do. It’s only fair.” He pulled back and took her hand. “Let’s go sit, okay?”

  They went into the living room and sat next to each other on the sofa. He held her hands in his. So soft.

  “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he said. “I thought you were happily married. So I left you alone.”

  She nodded and lowered her gaze. “It’s okay.”

  “No,” he said, lifting her chin until she met his gaze again. “I can’t just bust in here and upend your life again. Not when I’m about to leave again. That isn’t fair.”

  “Grayson…”

  “No.” He shook his head. “It’s not fair to you. But the thing is, I can’t help myself.”

  “So… what do we do?” She asked.

  He let go of her hands and sat back, scrubbed at his face. “I have to go. I signed a one-year contract.”

  “I’m not asking you not to go.”

  “I know. I’m not saying that.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m not sure,” he said. “I guess I’m saying that if we are doing this again, I’ll do my part differently.”

  “You did everything right.”

  He scoffed. “No. I didn’t. I was more focused on my career than staying in touch with you.”

  “Grayson, how can you say that? You wrote me all those letters and you called.”

  “All I had to do was get an email address.”

  “You didn’t know. You were young.”

  “Still.”

  “Grayson,” she said, sliding closer to him. “What my mother did was wrong. She knows that. We have to let go of the past.”

  He lifted his gaze to hers and put his fingers on her cheek. He ran his thumb along her bottom lip. Her lips parted.

  “Claire,” he said and put his lips on hers.

  When Grayson’s lips touched hers, it was like a lightning bolt shot through her body. Her lips remembered.

  Her heart remembered.

  The years disappeared and they were back in her parents’ house, making out on the couch again.

  Everything shifted and she knew nothing would be the same again.

  It didn’t matter that Grayson was leaving again.

  Just like it hadn’t mattered that he was leaving all those years ago. In fact, the knowledge that he was going away made it all the more sweet. All the more to be savored.

  A warning went off in her head.

  Was that why she’d slept with him before? Because she knew he would be leaving and she wouldn’t have to deal with it?

  No.

  She shifted back and her eyes fluttered open.

  “We can’t,” she uttered.

  “I know,” he said. “the kids.”

  “No. We can’t,” she said again, a little louder this time.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought…”

  “I do.” She shifted and stared at the fireplace. “It’s different now. We aren’t kids.”

  “And I’m leaving again,” he said.

  “Yeah,” she said, turning back to him. “You’re leaving again.”

  “We have two months,” he said.

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Claire. Let me have another chance. Like you said, we aren’t kids. We can talk every day. We can visit all the time. Until I can figure out something.”

  “I won’t leave L.A.” She’d left L.A. once before. Her home was here. Her dream home. That she had designed from the ground up. Her business was here. Her contacts. The only time she’d been unable to visit was when she had been pregnant with Danielle. She’d been miserable and had redoubled her efforts to establish her business here. She was an L.A. girl. Through and through. “You have to know that up front,” she said.

  “Fair enough. I understand.”

  “And I won’t sleep wit
h you until… well… until… it’s right.”

  He laughed. “That’s not what I’m after. I mean, it is, but it’s not all I’m after. I enjoy you, Claire. Just being with you.

  “No pressure, then?”

  “None. The opposite of pressure.” He held up his hands.

  She laughed, glad to have the tension broken. “What’s the opposite of pressure?”

  “I’m not sure. We’ll have to figure that out.”

  “That should be interesting,” she said.

  “We’ll have the anti-pressure relationship,” he agreed.

  She looked at him for a minute. “What does that even look like?”

  “I don’t know. I think we’ll have to invent it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Come here,” he said, pulling her into a hug.

  She tucked her head under his chin and pulled her feet onto the sofa and wrapped her arms around him. He smelled so good. Like soap and rainwater all mixed in together. It reminded her of the time they’d been caught in the rain on the Santa Monica beach. They were supposed to be at the library, studying. But it had been such a beautiful Sunday afternoon. One minute they were enjoying each other in the sunshine and the next, after ignoring the dark clouds and coming in just a little too late, they’d been running along the path to their car.

  “Do you remember Santa Monica?” she asked.

  “We laughed the whole way back to the car.”

  “I thought my mother was going to kill me when we came in the house drenched.”

  “You should have heard my father when I tried to explain about the mud inside his car,” Grayson said.

  “Oh,” She shifted to look up at him. “You never told me.”

  “It was no big deal. I just cleaned it up and was grounded for a week,” he said.

  “Ah. That explains a lot.”

  “Yeah, well, I stayed grounded a lot.”

  “It was my fault,” she said.

  “Yes, it was.” He squeezed her. “But I wouldn’t have traded a single minute of it.”

  “I’m sorry to interrupt, but…” Sam said.

  Claire jumped to a sitting position. “What is it Sam?”

  “Danielle asked me to come get you.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “She um… fell… off the bed,” His face was beet red. “I think she might have hurt her shoulder.”