Love Again: Love's Second Chance Series

by Kathryn Kelly

  Claire swallowed the lump in her throat. If Grayson was going to be difficult, then this move wasn’t going to go as smoothly as she had hoped. “Why don’t we think about it and talk about it on the way home? I don’t want to ruin our trip.”

  He finished off his drink and nodded.

  “I’d like to walk around and get Danielle a T-shirt,” Claire said, to lighten the mood.

  “Sure,” he said, but his smile was tight.

  Claire had been through enough counseling with her ex-husband and her daughter to figure out that tension was running high between them right now because neither of them wanted to admit that they probably would see each other only occasionally after this weekend.

  She’d been putting off allowing herself to think about it, but that was no longer an option.

  We have this weekend, she told herself. The best thing they could do was to make the most of it. Focus on the here and now.

  During dinner she chatted about the museum and how well the meditation and yoga classes were going. She chatted about the next fundraiser coming up in September. And tried to ignore the unpleasant thought than Grayson most likely wouldn’t be there for it.

  As she talked, she braced herself for this being their last weekend together. Period.

  If he was worried about money, she wouldn’t let him come visit and she wouldn’t visit him. At the end of the academic year, they would see where they were.

  If he came back to L.A., he came back. If he didn’t then she couldn’t hold it against him. He had a career. A career that was in a lot of ways she’d never considered, was a lot like the military. He could request a certain location, but he had to be prepared to go wherever the next job was. He might very well end up in Georgia or Maine. There was no guarantee there would be anything open in L.A. The fact that he’d taken a one-year temporary two years in a row wasn’t a good sign.

  She couldn’t very well ask him to do anything different. That would be like asking her to do something besides her gallery. It was in her blood. She had no choice.

  After dinner, they walked downtown hand-in-hand and wandered through the shops. She kept her negative thoughts to herself. As a result, they had very little conversation. She bought Danielle a T-shirt that smelled like coffee – on purpose. The coffee beans were baked into the material.

  It didn’t take long to go through the shops, so they drove back to the hotel.

  Claire disappeared into the bathroom to wash up and put on her pajamas.

  When she came back out, Grayson was sitting in a chair patiently waiting for her.

  “Come here,” he said, patting his knee.

  He squeezed her against him. She wrapped her arms around him and held on.

  He picked her up and carried her to the bed, tucking her beneath the covers. Then he went around to the other side of the bed and climbed in. He lay there for a minute staring at the ceiling.

  Then he shifted over, took her in his arms again, and put his lips on hers.

  They fell asleep kissing.

  When Claire woke the next morning, her first response was panic. She was wrapped in a vise-grip. When she realized she was wrapped in Grayson’s arms, she relaxed.

  The morning sun was peeking through the gap in the curtains. She had no idea how late they’d stayed up kissing. But her lips were swollen.

  One thing hadn’t changed. She couldn’t get enough of kissing him.

  She maneuvered her way out of his arms and went to get into the shower. Today was going to be a challenge for Claire. Her idea of exercise was yoga. On a mat. In an air-conditioned room.

  She’d ridden a bicycle as a kid, but truly, it had never been her thing. She’d quickly gotten bored with riding around the block.

  Fortunately, riding across the Golden Gate Bridge was a far cry from riding around the neighborhood. And anything she did with Grayson was good. Well, running the marathon had been the exception to that rule.

  After they got dressed, they went downstairs for coffee and breakfast. Grayson seemed less tense today. Some of his excitement was back.

  When they got to the bicycle rental shop, she was the one who was a bit nervous and he was ready to get going.

  The man at the shop gave her a rubber band. “What is this for?” she asked.

  “It’s to tie your pants to your leg so they won’t get caught in the spokes,” Grayson said.

  Oh boy. There was so much she didn’t know.

  When they got on their bikes, she was a little wobbly.

  “I don’t know about this,” she said as they rolled out of the parking lot.

  He laughed. “Come on, Claire, you can do it. Let’s get to the trail, then we’ll stop and rest.”

  As they rode a few minutes, she became a little steadier, but didn’t care for riding along the traffic. The cars rushing by made her nervous. She didn’t know when she would fall. She couldn’t help imagining hitting a rock and tumbling over – right in front of a car.

  “Grayson,” she said. “Don’t they have a trail or something?”

  “It’s up ahead. Don’t worry. They’re used to cyclists. They won’t run over you.”

  “I’m glad you’re so confident,” she muttered under her breath and heard him laughing.

  Fortunately, they made it off the streets and to the trail without mishap. Going uphill, however, proved to be quite strenuous.

  Before they got on the bridge, they stopped and rested.

  “You can tell I’ve never done anything like this before,” she said, taking out her water bottle. “Somehow I pictured us just hopping up on the bridge and riding across. I didn’t think about having to get all the way to the bridge.”

  “I didn’t do a very good job of preparing you.” he commented. “But,” he said. “I brought trail mix.” He pulled out a package of nuts and dried fruit from his back pack.

  “I wondered what you had in there,” Claire said.

  “Always prepared,” he said. “I have a first aid kit, too,” he said with a wink.

  She rolled her eyes. “I thought you were confident about this thing.”

  “I am confident, but, you know, things happen.”

  “It’s a beautiful day,” she said. The sky was clear blue and the weather couldn’t have been more perfect for an outdoor activity. The trail to the bridge was crowded with other cyclists as well as people walking.

  When they rode onto the bridge and the bay unfolded below them, she caught her breath. “Wow,” she said, steering to the side of the trail and stopping. Grayson, following her, rolled up beside her and stopped.

  “Yeah.”

  The skyline of San Francisco was in the distance, but it was bay below that was truly magnificent.

  They began their ride on the bridge and the wind whipped up. Claire wondered if it was going to topple her over.

  “Are you okay?” Grayson asked, coming up alongside her.

  “Yes,” she said.

  As they went around the first pylon, the wind was so strong she had to get off her bicycle and push it. She stopped to gaze below at the churning water below. “Wow,” she said.

  He came close enough to kiss her. “I’m glad you’re with me,” he said. “What do you think?”

  She smiled. And squeezed his hand. “It’s so much higher than I expected. I love it.”

  “Did you notice?” he said, indicating the water below. “They added netting so no one can jump.”

  “That was a good idea. I wonder if they’ve had to use it.”

  “I’m sure they have.”

  When they got to the other side of the bridge, Claire was exhausted. Her legs ached. They stopped for a few minutes to admire the view back toward Sausalito.

  But… it turns out they had a long way left to go. They had to ride to Fisherman’s Wharf to catch the ferry back.

  Four hours later from the time they’d rented their bikes, they made it to Fisherman’s Wharf. They found a place to leave their bikes so they could walk around a bit and get lu
nch.

  They stopped at a busy café on the wharf and settled in for lunch.

  “So, I was thinking,” Grayson said. “Since it’s such a pretty day, we should ride our bikes back across the bridge.”

  She made a face. “You go ahead. I’m taking the ferry.”

  He laughed.

  “I think that was one of the most awesome things I’ve ever done,” she said.

  “Truly?”

  “Truly.”

  The server came and Claire ordered a soda. After she left, Grayson said, “I think I’m going to fall out of my chair.”

  “What?” she asked, innocently.

  “Claire Worthington ordered a soda.”

  “A monumental achievement calls for a celebration.”

  “How long has it been?” he asked.

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. Fifteen years. Twenty. Maybe more.”

  “It’s got to be more. Because I’ve never known you to drink a soda.”

  She laughed. “I guess I can still surprise you.”

  “You surprise me every day,” he said, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. “I’m so going to miss you,” he said.

  His words sent a stab into her heart. They’d gotten close these past few weeks. They’d seen each other every day.

  “Hey,” he said, seeing her expression. “We’ll still see each other.”

  “Not every day,” she said.

  “No, not every day.”

  Her heart ached. “It won’t be the same,” she said.

  “I think I finally discovered the secret to getting you to open up to me,” he said.

  “What’s that?”

  “Get you so exhausted you can’t control your emotions.”

  “You might be right,” she said. “Exhausted and hungry.”

  They ordered sandwiches and Claire sipped her soda through a straw. “I’d forgotten how good a coke could be,” she said.

  “It’s good to live a little, isn’t it?” he said.

  She had a feeling she knew where his mind was going. They’d been here before.

  “No,” she said.

  “No, what?” He asked picking up a French fry.

  “Whatever it was you were thinking.”

  “I was thinking that when we get back to Sausalito, we should have ice cream.”

  “Right,” she said.

  They ate in silence a few minutes.

  “So, really, what do you think I’m thinking?” He asked.

  “I think you’re thinking that since you’re leaving, we should live a little. You know.”

  “We are living a little.”

  She decided to let it go. Maybe she was imagining things.

  “I think you’re the one with dirty thoughts,” he said.

  She nearly spit out her coke. “Ah ha,” she said. “Your mind did go there.”

  “Yours went there first.”

  “Is that so?”

  “In the last hour, yes. It’s true. But overall, probably not so much.”

  She laughed. “I’m gonna miss you, too.”

  “I hope so,” he said. “But I’m planning on…” He stopped and gazed out the window of the café.

  “Planning on what?” she asked.

  He turned back and gazed into her eyes. “I don’t know how to ask you this.”

  She set down her glass, overcome with trepidation. He looked so serious.

  “What is it?”

  He squeezed her hand. “I don’t know what it’s called anymore.”

  She frowned. “Give me a hint.”

  “We called it going together.”

  “You’re talking about an exclusive relationship?”

  “Yes,” he said. “that.”

  Relief washed over her, followed by worry. She wasn’t sure if he wanted to see each other exclusively or if he wanted to see others. She went with the latter. “You want to see other people.”

  “What? No! I don’t even want to talk to anybody but you.”

  Relief. It washed over her like a balm.

  “So…” he said. “Will you be my girl?”

  “I thought I was your girl,” she said, a smile playing at her lips.

  He kissed her – a brief peck on the lips, but his face lit up. “So, that means we can make last minute plans and not have to worry about it.”

  “Grayson,” she said. “You’ve had that since the day Danielle reintroduced us.”

  They got their bicycles on the ferry along with about one hundred other people and made their way to the top level to find a seat. Claire was physically exhausted.

  The Golden Gate Bridge was to their left. It was majestic and Claire as in awe that just that morning that had ridden bicycles across it. The fog was coming in now and the bridge was partly obstructed by it.

  Grayson nudged her. “See there,” he pointed toward the bridge. “We should have ridden back across it.”

  “I think you would’ve had to carry me. My legs feel like rubber.”

  “I’d carry you,” he said.

  She laughed. “It’s a long way. Even for a soldier.”

  He laughed, too. “You’re right. But for you, I’d do it.”

  She felt safe with Grayson. She believed that he really would carry her if he needed to. It was almost like her heart had been on hold – waiting for him to come back. Why hadn’t she known that? Why hadn’t she looked for him?

  Life. Life was the answer. Life always moved forward.

  But once in a lifetime, the lucky ones got a chance to start over and do the important things again.

  She was one of the lucky ones. And Grayson was one of the important things.

  She squeezed his hand.

  He smiled into her eyes. “I love you,” he said.

  “I love you, too,” she said.

  As the ferry took off across the water, the wind racing in her face, she didn’t know if the tears were from the wind or from the rare moment of blissful happiness.

  The water was choppy, but Grayson put his arm around her and held her close.

  “Let’s take a picture,” he said, taking out his camera and holding it out at arm’s length. Leaning their heads together, they smiled for the camera. Then smiled at each other. Grayson snapped the pictures.

  As they looked at the images, Claire said, “I think you should take them over. Maybe later after we’ve had a shower.”

  He laughed. “We can take some more.” But he didn’t delete and she was too tired to care.

  It was an ordeal getting their bicycles – Claire had never seen that many bikes piled together in one place. She’d stood back and let Grayson find them among the throngs of people searching for their own bicycles.

  They rode them back to the bike shop and turned them in. Then they had to walk back to the SUV before they could finally drive to the hotel.

  Claire got into the shower and let the hot water run over her exhausted muscles. How could she feel so spent and so content at the same time?

  She dried her hair with the blow dryer and waited while Grayson showered.

  While she waited she lay on the bed – for just a moment and that’s when her legs really began to ache.

  When Grayson came out, she said, “I don’t like to complain, but my legs hurt. I mean it hurts like a toothache.”

  “Here,” he said, taking pillows and putting them beneath her legs. He went to his toiletry bag and brought her two aspirin and a bottle of water. “Take these.”

  He sat down beside her as she took the medication.

  “You don’t hurt?” she asked.

  “No,” he said, “but remember I have the advantage. Years of P.T.”

  “I’d never make it,” she said.

  “You’d be surprised. So tomorrow, we’ll do it all over again.”

  “You’ve gone insane.”

  “Maybe a little. Did that help?” He asked, gesturing to the pillows.

  “No,” she said.

  “Maybe I can help,” he said.
/>
  He started with her feet and massaged his way up to her calves. “Is this where it hurts?”

  Claire mumbled something that he took to be a yes. He knew this kind of pain, though it had been a long time. He’d be sore tomorrow, but sore was preferable to this deep muscle pain that she was experiencing.

  Her skin was smooth as silk and when he glanced at her face, her eyes were closed in sensations of bliss.

  He could seduce her now. He had no doubt about that.

  But he wouldn’t do that.

  He’d done that once. Twenty years ago and the regret still ate at him. He never should have seduced her the night before he’d been shipping out for basic training. But they’d been kids and it was how they’d shown their love for each other. It was how they’d been trying to bind themselves together.

  But not this time. This time he knew they see each other again soon, but he wasn’t willing to take the chance that history could repeat itself.

  He loved her too much to risk hurting her again.

  Her phone buzzed. He reached over, picked up her phone from the nightstand, and held it out for me. She cracked one eye open.

  “It’s text,” he said.

  “Danielle?”

  He glanced at her phone. “I don’t think so.”

  “You check it. I’m too tired.

  He read the message. Hi Claire. Did you read my proposal? Let me know what you think and I can schedule a visit.

  “It’s from someone named Allen.”

  “What does he want?” She muttered against the pillow.

  “He wants to come visit.”

  “Later,” she said. He chuckled, but there was more to this story that he would have to find out later when she wasn’t drunk with sleep. He set the phone aside, his brow furrowed with worry.

  As he massaged her calves, she fell asleep. He climbed into bed and, pulling her into his arms, slept next to her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Claire sat outside Dr. Lee’s office and waited while Claire had her therapy session. It was Tuesday and she was thinking about tonight. Grayson was planning to leave Thursday morning. That gave them two more nights together before he left. They had talked about it and after their trip to San Francisco, they both wanted to just stay home and enjoy the quietness of each other’s company.

  To distract herself, she was reading a novel by Isabella Quinn called Forgotten. Lost in the fictional world, she didn’t see the door open and Danielle come out.