by Amber Nation
Tessa promptly stood waving her hands in the air trying to get my attention. It was customary for me to make a sweep of the entire establishment so I could see who all was occupying the bar. So far no one was standing out to me so I made my way towards the ladies and took a seat in the empty spot next to Sheridan.
The ladies looked absolutely beautiful in their selective attires. Being mothers now, they didn’t often get the opportunity to dress up so they would take any chance to do so that they could get.
Maggie and Sheridan both had on some kind of dress/skirt ensemble while Tessa and Emmalynne were rocking some jeans and cute blouses. They have learned from the best and I couldn’t be more proud of their selections.
“Hiya, dolls,” I said to each one of them. I liked using that chosen term of endearment for the girls, I’ve learned that it makes them feel special which each and every one of them are and each in their own way.
“Toby, late as usual. I’ve taken the liberty of ordering you a Cosmo, I hope that’s alright.”
“That actually sounds a bit perfect, Tessa.”
I took a sip from the Martini glass and the cool liquid slid down my throat warming me up in all the right places. There wasn’t a live band playing this evening so the music began blaring throughout the bar infusing the beats into everyone’s pores.
It was then that Britney Spears’s hushed voice came through the speakers beginning the words to “Boys.”
An open palm slammed down on the table and I unceremoniously knew the next five words that were going to come out of a certain insane blonde’s mouth. Cue my eye roll now.
“This song is my jam!” Tessa screeched while scooting the legs to the chair away from the table allowing her to unleash the dance diva.
“Oh dear God,” I muttered under my breath while darting my eyes to the other three girls who remained seated. Most, if not all of them, knew about Tessa’s crazy dance moves and even quirkier sayings. It was just part of the fabulousness that was Tessa Monroe. I sure did give her husband Brock some mad props, because she gave a new meaning to the term hot mess.
We all had to quickly make our way to the makeshift dance floor to help cover Tessa and make sure that she didn’t knock anyone over with her jerky dance movements. Somehow in her mind, she thought she was God’s gift as the ultimate dancer. I couldn’t tell you where or when she got that idea engrained into her brain, we just tried to embrace her uniqueness.
Grady was working tonight which meant that Em’s kids were either with her dad, Sam, or with Brock’s parents, as I’m sure that was where Tessa’s son Blake was. So you knew that Grady’s main focus tonight was keeping dibs on Emmalynne as he manned the bar.
Most people in town knew who we were and who the girls’ significant others were, so normally they didn’t have anything to worry about while showing off their dance moves on the floor. But there was sometimes always that outsider who didn’t hesitate in trying to get up on one of the ladies, that was where I came in. Most of the time if the girls danced with and around me no one bothered us and the way things were looking tonight it would be pretty calm.
Several different songs had passed and “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé came on, which was MY jam, but I didn’t have to express that every single song.
“Damn, this one is my—”
“NO! We definitely know by now, Tessa!” Maggie yelled immediately cutting her off mid-sentence. Maggie raising her voice shocked the hell out of me but I was thankful for her announcing her displeasure. She was one of the most reserved women that I knew and it took her a good while to break out of her shell towards us. She was a shy and delicate bud when we first met and she’s bloomed into a vibrant and loving flower. Everyone needed a Maggie in their lives and I couldn’t be more thankful for Charlie bringing her into ours.
“Fine… Sheesh. Leave it to you to be outspoken now!”
Simultaneous laughs and giggles erupted between the five of us as we carried on dancing to an amazing tune!
Now you would think that someone with my extensive characteristic credentials would be able to pull off some pretty spectacular dance moves. You would be dead wrong, my dancing was in fact subpar at best. Although while on the stage I have mastered a few repetitive movements, most of the time it was as simple as doing the two-step. I supposed that I couldn’t excel in everything as depressing as that was. But it didn’t matter, my friends didn’t care if I couldn’t conquer the Dougie and tripped over my own two feet at doing the Wobble, they loved me for me.
Someone came up next to me and shoulder checked me as they pushed in between the crowd that I was amongst. Seeing the bleach blonde mangled tresses from the back I didn’t need any confirmation from her face as to who they belonged to.
“Well, well, well… If this isn’t a picturesque bunch. But don’t you think this song is just a wee bit inappropriate since none of you are single?” Tracy the town whore for lack of a better term turned towards me, “And those who are single, aren’t a lady…” She puckered up her lips which just further enhanced the ugly shade of lipstick that she obviously didn’t know how to apply since it was inhabiting more of her teeth and face than it was her lips. Did she actually think she was hurting my feelings?
Quickly turning her attention to Sheridan, “What would Mike think of you out here flaunting your ass while he is at home taking care of your illegitimate child, Sheridan?”
There it was, her reason for exposing her teeth out towards us tonight. Jealousy was a hideous green bitch and it just reared its ugly head. Tracy tried to sink her claws into Mike some time ago only to end in failure. Extreme failure.
Sheridan’s eyes went wide as she let out a loud gasp. I didn’t know what was going to take place here, but I wasn’t going to allow one of my girls to stoop down to her level.
I wedged myself in between Tracy and Sheridan before any fists flew or hair was yanked. Taking a deep breath of relief because luckily that bullet was dodged, but it was what was taking place behind me that I didn’t foresee happening.
“Oh that was rich, Tracy. What you couldn’t afford an entire dress, you had to wear one that practically showed your uterus? I believe you’ve just messed with the wrong group. I’ve been waiting a helluva long time to put this bitch in her place. Maggie hold my earrings, they were a gift from Brock and I don’t want anything happening to them.” I heard Tessa go on behind me but was too late when I turned around Tracy had already lunged towards Tessa pushing her back into the throng of people.
“Oh hell no!” Tessa screamed as her face morphed into something that I had never seen before. She looked as if she had been taken over by the exorcist and it really wouldn’t surprise me one bit if she started spewing split pea soup from her mouth.
Tessa was straight up something out of a horror film. Remind me never to cross her because those images in itself may haunt my sleep for weeks.
A split second later Tessa was on Tracy.
And I didn’t mean just throwing punches, she was actually on her. Long lean legs were wrapped around Tracy’s torso while her head was in the crease of Tessa’s elbow. Tracy must’ve been one tough broad to be able to remain standing.
The crowd erupted in extensive loud chatter, chanting for their pick to win.
I raised my eyes to the bar to capture Grady’s attention but he was already mid-hop over the bar, a skill that he has used before so it came in extremely handy.
Turning to Maggie whose eyes had gone to the point of nearly bulging out of her head, I had to shake her from her trance to tell her to call the Sheriff’s Department.
Grady was finally over to the fight and he was busy trying to pry Tessa off of Tracy so since no one else was stepping up to the plate I decided to try my hand at pulling Tracy off to the side.
This action proved to be no easy feat. I don’t know if you were aware but I was a slender man with feeble legs. I mean normally I could attempt to hold my own, but not when a pissed off woman was busy kicking and scratching. Oh good L
ord, was she scratching, she was the type of woman who got her nails professionally done every other week, and let me tell you those bitches hurt! My strength and virility was a proven testament to the ferocious beast with manicured fingernails!
I knew once this encounter was over I would have claw marks running up and down my arms.
“Tracy, calm the hell down!” I tried screaming in her ear but to no avail she kept on trying to get out of my clutches.
It was when she proceeded to dig her heel into my brand spanking new Cole Haan loafers did I lose my shit.
“Hell to the no, woman!!! You did NOT just step on my brand new shoes! For the love of all that is holy, calm your shit!” I tightened my arms around her and finally felt her begin to relax about the same time I heard Ethan’s voice in front of me.
“Tracy, I’m going to need you to go sit at the bar while I get the rest of this sorted out.” He said to her as I loosened my appendage made noose from around her body. She went willingly doing as Deputy Bradley instructed, not even putting up a fight or looking in the direction of Tessa, wherever she went.
Gaining back my wits I had to straighten my button down shirt and then my vest because it was messed up and stretched way out of proportion. And my shoes, oh my new shoes were scuffed up. “Stupid bitch,” I muttered under my breath. Normally I didn’t get all bent out of shape, but these suckers weren’t cheap and they were my new favorites.
I looked up into the twinkling green eyes of Ethan Bradley as he held an amused expression on his face with his arms crossed in front of his wall of a chest. Leaning to the side, I noticed that Tessa and the rest of the girls were back at the table.
“Had you already talked to Tessa?”
“I did,” his voice boomed throughout the now quiet room.
“What the hell?” my voice raised a few octaves. “Why didn’t you pull that crazy bitch off of me first? I know Grady can handle Tessa but that vile woman ruined my new pair of shoes.” I pointed down towards the evidence. I knew by now I was screeching at the authorities but I didn’t care, he obviously stood there getting a kick out of Tracy trying to maul me.
There was one thing that someone once told me that had stuck with me ever since, if you were to tie my hands behind my back I wouldn’t be able to talk. My arms were flying around in the air going every which way. If this was me being overly theatrical then so be it.
The corners of Ethan’s mouth drew up in a huge smile revealing a perfect set of sparkling white teeth and a single dimple on his left cheek. I was stunned into silence by the beauty of his smile and I was sure that my face turned the deepest shade of red as I recalled my shower excursion from earlier this morning. I had to get away from him.
I quickly shuffled with my scuffed Cole Haan’s over towards the table my friends were occupying, grumbling under my breath when I heard Deputy Bradley calling after me, “It was nice to see you again, Toby!”
“Ugh, jerk!” I uttered as I sat back down in my unoccupied seat resting my cheek in the palm of my hand. Taking a long look at Tessa she really looked no worse for wear. If she combed through her matted hair you probably wouldn’t even be able to tell that she was involved in a fight. Me on the other hand, I must’ve gotten all of the battle wounds. I stretched out my arms surveying the deep scratches that scathed them. “What a crazy woman!”
Ethan came over several minutes later taking each of our statements. Grady made it known that Tracy wasn’t allowed in Emmy Lou’s again which resulted in the biggest smile I had ever seen come from Tessa, she was basking in her apparent victory. She may not have won against Tracy during the battle, but she annihilated her during the overall war.
I on the other hand had my fill of excitement for the night and was ready to reunite with my pillow and sleep forever.
“Well, ladies, thanks for an…uh…interesting evening, but I’m ready to blow this popsicle stand.”
Toby
“We Are Family” by Sister Sledge began infiltrating my mind interrupting my deep sleep. It took me a minute to realize that was my phone actually ringing and not my dreams bringing me back to the 1970s. Once I was somewhat awake, I knew that it was Emmalynne as the distinct song was set to her number.
So I had a thing for personalized ringtones, there were other socially inept crimes that were insanely worse that I could take part in…like for example socks with sandals…I rest my case.
Rolling over to fetch my phone from my bedside table I connected the call then brought my phone to my ear, “Yup?” I said, my voice still heavily laced with sleep.
“Toby did I wake you?” Emmalynne sounded a bit worried. Surely she didn’t feel bad for waking me up, it wasn’t that big of a deal.
“Of course not, I just naturally sound this groggy in the morning.” Sitting up in my bed, allowing my sheets to fall around my waist I ran a hand through my disheveled hair. “Ok I’m up. What’s going on?”
“Lottie has an ear infection and I was just able to get her to sleep for the first time since last night.” Her voice was hushed almost to a whisper as she continued, “Tucker has a ball game in a little bit and Grady has to be at the bar. Can you meet Grady at the ball field, please? I’ll owe you one.”
“Pssh. You owe me nothing, you know I’d do anything for Tuck. And besides I really didn’t have anything going on today, I don’t mind watching Tucker’s ballgame.”
“Toby you really are the best!”
“You don’t have to tell me that, I already know.” I chuckled as I hung up the phone, promising to meet my nephew at his game in an hour.
Pulling up to the ball field I got out of my Jeep and spotted Grady and Tucker right away. The crunching of rocks underneath my feet and the smell of hotdogs and popcorn permeated through the air instantly took me back to my childhood. I remembered being continuously dragged here when I was younger to watch my brother play. My parents tried to force me to participate in the sport but that didn’t last long as I would cry whenever dirt covered my cleats. Being able to tolerate getting dirty was a must in order to participate, so my t-ball career was extremely short lived.
“Hey, Uncle Toby,” Tucker yelled from across the lot as he tried to run through the gravel with his cleats on. I had to give the kid credit, he was more coordinated than me. If I even attempted that, I would find myself flat on my face with a mouthful of rocks.
“Hey, Tuck,” I moved to ruffle up his hair but stopped short at the last minute. He got his love of his hair style from his Uncle Toby and got extremely frustrated when anyone tried to touch it. I knew better than to upset an eleven year old boy especially before a game.
“Toby, thanks for looking after Tucker at his game and then taking him to one of the teammate’s birthday party afterward.” I looked over at Grady who was armed with a wrapped present and a duffel bag.
“Back the truck up… No one told me about a birthday party.” I threw my hands up in front of me and desperately tried objecting. Watching a few kids run around a baseball field was one thing but to actually participate in a birthday party was something that I didn’t sign on for.
“Oh, Uncle Toby, it’s just at Jump Around, the new inflatable place. You won’t have to do anything but sit there.”
Yay for me. I got to sit there like a boring wallflower. Why couldn’t Tucker be into shopping or makeup? I couldn’t wait until Lottie got older, she would be my own personal sidekick for sure.
I was a sucker for this kid and there was absolutely no way I was going to let him down, so I decided to suck it up and be a man. Albeit a beautiful, delicate man who enjoyed expensive Italian loafers and a good cold cream, but a man nonetheless.
Allowing myself to grimace for only a split second, I wasn’t going to let him suffer any longer, “Of course I’ll be happy to take you. It’ll be no problem at all.”
He did some sort of little jump in the air, “That’s great! You’re the best, Uncle Toby!” Then he spun around on his heel to go get warmed up and prepared for his game.
“As if you don’t already,” Grady chuckled before handing me Tucker’s bag and present.
“Laugh it up, but you guys owe me…big! And I’m thinking that I might be collecting it in the terms of a huge party at Emmy Lou’s. I mean we are talking a huge rave with The Nation’s Capital performing. Oh yeah…” I tapped a finger against my chin. Sometimes I got some of my best ideas just off of a whim and this one circulating in my head sounded like it would be a great one. A rave of epic proportions with The Nation’s Capital at Emmy Lou’s. I mentally patted myself on my back for that one.
Toby, you sure do know how to out-do yourself.
The announcer started introducing each team so I knew I had to hurry and find a seat. The poor guy had a supremely monotone voice, I was surprised to see that people weren’t actually falling asleep by the lull of his tone. I knew one thing for certain, I would rock at announcing the players. Adding my own personal flare to it, I bet more people would come to these events. Taking one step at a time, I carefully climbed the metal bleachers, found a lone opening and it just so happened to be next to the one and only Ethan Bradley.
I took a second to raise my head towards the sky. What did I do in my past lifetime to deserve this?
Briefly making eye contact before I reluctantly lowered myself onto the below meager seat, “Ethan,” I said curtly with an eye roll. I didn’t know whether I was going to be able to endure this game or not. I supposed only time would tell, but I did know one thing, small talk was going to be the name of the game. If I answered him with unenthused answers maybe he would get the hint. To tell you the truth I don’t know why I was so turned off by him. I think it just royally pissed me off because I could only get off by the distinct image of him. Sure I supposed he was cute in a husky-esque sort of way and to top it off I really didn’t know the man.