by Anna Collins
I could tell my energy was draining and the blood being collected and put through the dialysis system made me feel lucky I was sitting down. I was feeling a little faint, and I decided to lie down in a less than compromising position. My legs were spread obscenely, and I could barely register he was looking at me and not exactly being subtle about it.
“I’ve had the nurse do some blood work, and I have been looking at everything through a microscope. I’ve been getting a lot of dirty looks from those who don’t consider me a part of the medical community. To be honest, I don’t care what anybody thinks about me, and I’ve never been one to bow down in front of society’s convention. Despite my misgivings, I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you live to a ripe old age and die of natural causes. You’ll have to be connected to a dialysis machine every day for an hour. That will give you a fighting chance, but I’m afraid the toxin is going to affect you physically as well as emotionally,” he said still looking at me strangely, making me feel like an alien about to be probed for experimental purposes.
“You seem like a nice man, but life has a funny way of knocking you down, making you feel like you can’t get back up. Unlike you, I’ve never allowed anybody to hold me down or make me feel worthless. You should take a page from my book and learn not to turn the other cheek. I think it goes without saying we’re going to be inseparable from this moment on. I don’t want to be near you any more than necessary, but it’s painfully clear having you here is better than trying to deal with this on my own. You have a better understanding of what I’m going through, and I would like to have your unbiased and impartial look at things,” I said feeling as if I was putting him in a bad position where he was going to have to care for me like he would for an elderly parent.
“I had a feeling you might say that. You will stay with me, but I don’t think we’re going to be here for very much longer. I made a few phone calls out to those who might have an idea of what this might be. There’s one in particular who seemed to be quite interested in the test results I sent him. He’s a bit eccentric and likes to think he knows everything. He doesn’t mind letting anybody standing in front of him know of the fact. I will do whatever I can to save your life, but I am going to have to reach out to those who would consider me more of an enemy instead of a friend,” Dr. Rhodes said as he tapped the machine connected to my vein. It was drawing blood through a tube and down into another one to replace my blood with the very same one, only “cleaner.”
“I don’t want to be a burden, but I’m not going to say no to that. I thought I would want to give up after learning I have been poisoned. I could have easily fallen into a bottom of a bottle and drowned my sorrows until my last day. I learned a long time ago that if you don’t dance to the beat of your own drum, then you’ll be sitting on the sidelines, watching others do what you always wanted to do. I made arrangements for my shop to continue to run with a cousin of mine supervising. She was actually quite anxious to help when I told her how desperate the situation was. I am yours for however long you feel it’s going to be necessary. I do have to stay in touch with my cousin Emily though. I can’t be hands-off, not even now my life is at stake,” I said without telling him I had promised Emily a cut of the profits and possible partnership.
“Just between you and me, I think it’s a good idea you transferred your responsibilities to somebody else. You need to have control of your full faculties without anything hampering your progress. I consider myself to be an expert in this field, but I’m a little stymied by how this poison has turned into something more than it should be. I know I should care more about your health than the actual poison, but I think I’ve always been more connected to the living embodiment of evil,” Dr. Rhodes said as he finished up with the procedure he was conducting at the time.
“I’m not going to like this any better than you do. I have better things to do with my time than spending it with a man who really doesn’t care if I live or die. Your fascination with this stuff puzzles me, but also makes me a viable candidate for whatever experimental process you can come up with. I am open to any ideas, and I’ve even broached the topic of holistic healing with several of the practitioners in the area. I’ve gotten some results, and a few emails consisted of a list of foods which can help boost my metabolism and immune system. I don’t know if you believe in any of that stuff, but I have to look at every option on the table. I was never really into this myself, but I’m not going to turn a blind eye due to ignorance,” I said, still feeling like I knew him from somewhere I couldn’t quite place.
He was scribbling something down on the Acer Ferrari 1100 laptop he held as if it was the holy bible. I still felt like he was looking at me under a microscope and it didn’t necessarily have to do with my condition. His eyes would travel down my body, paying particular attention to the swell of my breast; my nipples were quite hard, poking evidently through the thin material of what I was wearing and the bra barely kept what I had contained.
“There are going to be some ground rules when you come to live with me. We will be leaving at a moment’s notice so I would suggest you have a bag packed and ready to go. Traveling is not going to be a problem, I have my own private jet I use on occasion to get away from all of this. I have more than enough money to live here during the summer and fall, and then go to my private oasis in Hawaii. Six months surrounded by a bevy of beauties and sun and surf is not a bad way for a semi-retired and disgraced doctor to spend his time. I’m usually already gone by now, but I got caught up with some work. That made it easier for Jessica to hound me day and night to get me to check on your case,” he said while touching my knee, sending an electric charge through my body I hadn’t felt in quite some time.
“You have my gratitude, but I hope you don’t treat me as if I’m a problem to be solved. If I’m going to spend any time with you, I hope we could be cordial and friendly with each other,” I said while looking at him, undressing him with my eyes.
I could think of a lot better ways to be friendly than idle chitchat. It involved shedding some layers and moving to the rhythm of our heartbeats. He was quite the specimen, a physical marvel built and sculpted out of granite. His body was made to be appreciated, and I wanted to spend at least 24 hours getting to know him in the Biblical sense. I couldn’t stand his self-important arrogant attitude, but I didn’t need him for anything more than the superficial release of endorphins.
“I don’t need your gratitude. The only thing I will require is your thanks when you get a clean bill of health. I can’t promise anything, but I will search high and low for the answers we are seeking,” he said as he detached me from the machine and told me to sit still and don’t move for 20 minutes.
He put the blood pressure machine around my arm and began to pump like his life depended on it. It wasn’t working for me, and his bedside manner lacked any of the compassion I was hoping for. I wanted to ask him the reason why he was staring at me, but I knew I could turn a few heads.
I wore my sexuality like a badge of honor. I usually spent my time, one day, every couple of months getting to know a man, but not intellectually speaking. We barely gave each other anything more than a shoulder to lean on and the feel of our bodies twisting in the sheets. It was good while it lasted, but there was something missing when I took the walk of shame in the morning. I didn’t get that intangible quality, the feeling of butterflies in my stomach and the connection to another human being. That was something I was looking for but never found.
“I can see living with you is going to be a marvel. I need some time, and I have somebody I have to speak with before we embark on whatever this is. This is non-negotiable, and I’ll be more than happy to show up at your doorstep after I’m finished. Don’t even try to detract me from what I need to do. It would be a shot in the arm if you could cook something or have something prepared when I arrived,” I said thinking it wasn’t possible for a man with his cocksure grin and bothersome attitude would be able to cook.
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�I have been known to make some dishes that leave people asking for more. I think I will be able to surprise you and hopefully, you’ll begin to realize I’m not the problem but the solution. I’m not trying to tell you anything you want to hear. I’m being quite upfront and honest with you. I expect the same courtesy in return. Be sure to pack light,” he said obviously thinking about a past girlfriend who was a little bit too high maintenance for a man of his limited character.
Chapter 4
I had this idea of a homecoming worthy of a hallmark Christmas card. I wanted my father to throw his arms around me and tell me everything was going to be OK. It was every girl’s dream to think their father would be able to take care of anything. He was my hero, but he couldn’t get it through his thick head my life didn’t revolve around the restaurant. I wanted something different. The only way I could convince myself to go for it was to see my mother taken from me at an early age.
I stepped into the restaurant, and this was the first time I had been inside in almost five years. I had passed by the door several times, but I never had the nerve to actually go in and face him. He was quite intimidating with a fearsome look which had many boys running for the hills when they were subjected to his glaring expression. I could see him in the back, and he had a few more gray hairs and wrinkles than I remembered, but he was still essentially the very same man.
It seemed nothing had changed, and he was lambasting one of his line cooks, screaming obscenities, with his finger poking. “I don’t want to hear it. The food here in my restaurant has always been exemplary, so I take it as a personal insult when you are trying to pawn off this dish as edible. You must have known the shrimp was bad. We didn’t need the customer to tell us. Take this as your final warning. I will not tolerate this kind of food coming from my kitchen. I have a reputation to uphold, and I don’t need you to make me a laughing stock of the community,” my father said to the man who looked like he had grown smaller in front of the tirade.
“I thought the quality of the fish was questionable, but I got a good deal for it. I think I know the reason why the guy was willing to get rid of the rest of his merchandise for barely the market value. You have entrusted me to do this job, and I have let you down. I understand that. But I can only promise to do better than this. Give me another chance, and I ensure I won’t let the same mistakes happen again. Everybody is human, and mistakes are part of life. Nobody is infallible. I hope you wouldn’t fire me for something that can be fixed,” I was quite pleased to see this line cook was standing up for himself and did not let my father grill him like a drill sergeant.
“It would be a good idea for you to get out of my sight. The people who came for lunch crowd are already done, so I don’t want to see you here until you are in for the preparation of supper. Go and let off some steam, but don’t think we have spoken about this for the last time,” my father said with the same confidence he always had and the same stained apron he always wore.
I went to the kitchen door, and I cleared my throat to get his attention. He turned and looked ready to let off some steam of his own. He turned stone-faced when he saw me for the first time in five years. I thought he was going to slam the door in my face, but instead, he walked past me with barely an intelligent word coming from his mouth. This was his way to tell me he wasn’t pleased to see me, but it was also his way of showing he wanted me to follow him.
I went out to the restaurant, and he was wiping down the bar, looking at the merchandise to see what he would need on the next shipment. “I don’t know what you want Willa. If you’re here to beg for your job back, then I might listen to reason. But you can’t possibly think you coming here was a good idea. Leaving after your mother died was like tearing my heart from my chest and stepping on it. I thought you were joking when you said you needed to leave, but then I saw you were not about to take no for an answer,” he said as he lined up the bottles and didn’t even look at me once the entire time. He was talking to me as if I was one of his cooks.
“I didn’t come here to argue. I have something to tell you, but I think you might want to sit down for the news,” I said getting his attention; getting that same eyebrow cock which made him look more quizzical than interested.
“I don’t know what this is about, but it better be good. I’m sure you took it as a sign I didn’t want to talk to you after you continually called me month after month like clockwork. I knew exactly when you called because the caller ID told me. I don’t know how many times I was close to picking up the phone, but I couldn’t do it. I kept thinking about your mother and how you let me down. I don’t know how any parent can get over that kind of betrayal. I still love you, but it doesn’t mean I have to agree with your decisions,” he said as he sat down at the bar and poured us both a stiff one.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I do love you. I’ve never forgotten about what you’ve done for me, but I had to strike out on my own. I think you know that feeling better than anybody. Do you think leaving the bakery and opening up this restaurant of yours didn’t hurt Margaret and George? They may have put on a brave face, but they hated the fact that you left them. They only gave you their blessing because they knew trying to stop you would only make you feel regret deep in your heart. My business may not be where I want it to be, but I’m still in the growing stage. It took me almost two years to get up and running. Living on my savings the entire time was not easy,” I said hoping I was making some progress and not things worse coming here at a most inopportune time.
“I understand what you’re saying, but it still doesn’t make me feel any better. I always thought we were destined to work side by side until I was ready to turn over the whole thing in your name. I’m not going to admit this to anybody, but I was proud of you in a small way for the way you stood up for yourself. Your mother dying was not easy on either one of us. I want us to get back to what we had together, but I don’t see it happening in my lifetime. If you came here because you want to spend Christmas with me, then you have wasted a trip. My brother has already given me an invitation. You’re more than happy to tag along, but I don’t think you would enjoy the icy reception you would receive. I haven’t exactly been talking you up,” he said as he took another drink, and I followed suit hoping the liquor would loosen my lips.
The motif had changed, but the food was still the best in the town. I wouldn’t be lying if I said it was sublime and I had missed that kind of home cooking. I could cook, but not with the same flair and dramatic license my father did. He was a master, and his knife work was put up there with some of the greats.
I didn’t want to do this, but I had no choice. He needed to know, even though the revelation of my impending doom was not going to be easy on his fragile heart. I looked into his eyes, and I lost my nerve. I couldn’t put him through this. I don’t think he would forgive me for keeping him in the dark, but I wouldn’t be around to feel his eyes of disapproval.
“I just thought it was time we buried the hatchet. It has been a long time since we’ve seen each other and the holidays bring out the best and the worst in everybody. I’m still your daughter. The love we share can never be taken away because of something either one of us did. We are better than that. I would like to take you up on your offer about going with you to uncle James, but I can’t. I want to wish you the best and hope your new year is fruitful and promising,” I said with a catch in my throat, and my head bowed like I had done something to be ashamed of.
“You didn’t just come here for no reason. You can’t fool me, Willa and there’s obviously something going on with you. You don’t have to tell me. I’ve heard the rumors. Timothy gave me a call, and I’m willing to sign a blank check for you,” my father said as if the answer was digging into his pocketbook.
“The one thing I promised myself when I started this venture was that I was never going to come to you with my hand out. I need to do this on my own. Whether I fail or succeed will be entirely up to me and nobody else. I would like your blessing,
though. I know you have plans with your brother, but maybe we can sit down and have dinner together before you leave. I would really like to think putting out this olive branch is going to bring us closer together. Mother would be ashamed of us if we allowed the past to ruin our relationship. I want things to change. I’ve been thinking about family recently, and I know I couldn’t have done any better than the two of you. You looked out for me, made me feel safe, and you gave me words of wisdom I have lived by to this day,” I said seeing my words had affected him and made him look at me with the same love I had been missing for these last five years.