All The Days Of My Life (so Far)

by Alison Sweeney

  With the cast of Days at the TV Guide Awards

  Fortunately, critics don’t write reviews about showing up late to awards shows, and in fact, I’ve been lucky to have gotten some fabulous reviews over the years for my acting, although I’m the first to give much of the credit to my talented fellow actors on Days. I remember when I read a critique in Soap Opera Digest that said, “Sweeney holds her own with the best of them on Days of Our Lives, including powerhouse Deidre Hall.” Of course, I’m enormously flattered by comments like that. But I know that so much of the praise should go to Deidre and the rest of the cast of Days, who have supported me and helped me develop as an actress for more than a decade.

  Even more important than the critics, however, are the fans. They’re the ones who keep me inspired, who show up at events at NBC or at shopping malls and ask for autographs or for a few moments just to say hello. In June 2003, I took part in a wild and long weekend in Nashville where fourteen of us from Days of Our Lives and Passions attended the Country Music Association Fan Fair, where we mingled with fans for the weekend, attended parties (including a crazy one at the Wild Horse), and signed autographs until well past the time when writers’ cramp set in. I must have had way too much fun, because after I got back to Los Angeles I couldn’t talk for four days! Coincidentally, Sami had a throat injury at the same time on the show, too, so the fans never heard my raw vocal cords.

  Sami is so much fun for me to play. In some ways, she’s a young woman who never really grew up fully. From the first day I began playing her, one of her driving motivations has been to have her parents (Roman and Marlena) be together again. She has always wanted—and always lacked—the love and security of a family unit. She has seen the woman she has become, and blames the shortcomings she sees in herself on the absence of a happy, healthy home life. She is very complex and always a very interesting character to play.

  With each passing year, I’ve become more comfortable playing Sami, and I’ve brought more of myself into my character. Subtleties in my own personality and characteristics get incorporated into Sami. I often interject my sense of humor and facial expressions into Sami when it’s appropriate. I’ve always been an animated talker, but when I play Sami, I sometimes go over the top with the way that Sami reacts to the world around her (after all, she is an over-the-top character, isn’t she?). And by the way, there’s much less Sami in Ali than the other way around (thank goodness!). She’s a character who laughs and cries, who loves and hates to the extreme, which is what makes her so interesting.

  As for the fans, they continue to feel empathy for Sami one moment, and despise her the next. And it’s totally understandable, based on her behavior. She often does the right thing, and she certainly cares about her son. She’s also very insecure, and a lot of people can relate to that. Viewers sometimes tell me that they see something of themselves in her. But Sami is also so spiteful and malicious at times that you can’t help but hate the hell-raising side of her. When her evil nature surfaces, I know she drives fans absolutely mad! But even after she’s been embarrassed and humiliated—and sometimes it gets really bad—Sami always picks herself up, dusts herself off, and gets on with life. And that’s pretty admirable.

  Here’s one letter I received not long ago:

  I love to act, and I would love to get a spot on a soap opera. And who knows, maybe I could end up playing the bitch! I can’t wait to see the next show and see what scheme Sami is cooking up next! I love you as an actress; you add that extra special spice to the show. Keep doing what you’re doing because you’re awesome at it!

  Your loyal fan,

  Heather

  An Unexpected Visitor

  As I mentioned earlier, I can get a little star-struck, too. But probably nothing compared to a very memorable recent moment on the Days set, when I had a completely unexpected “celebrity sighting.” It occurred one afternoon just before Thanksgiving in 2003. We were dry blocking, and Steve Wyman (our co-executive producer) was directing the show that day. I was off-stage at that moment, waiting to make my entrance, when I glanced to my right—and couldn’t believe my eyes. Shaquille O’Neal was stepping out of the shadows, and walking in my general direction.

  Well, I’m a huge basketball fan—and as it turned out, Shaq is a big Days fan. He was on the NBC lot to appear on the Tonight Show, and while waiting for his taping to start, he wandered over to the Days set. When I caught sight of him, I was absolutely astounded. It’s not every day you bump into a 7-foot-1, 340-pound basketball superstar! I rushed over to him and introduced myself while desperately trying to keep my cool. He was so friendly, and as we found out, his wife watches Days all the time, and that’s how Shaq got introduced to the show.

  I wanted to stay and talk with Shaq, but I had to get back to work, darn it. But let me tell you, I was so overwhelmed for a few moments. Other Days cast members told me that I was blushing, and I began fanning myself with my script to try to regain my composure.

  During the dry blocking, I kept glancing over as Shaq was being given a mini-tour of the set. I tried to pay attention to my work but it was hard. Then I saw that other cast members were getting their photo taken with him, and—well, this was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. I finally said to Steve, “Can I please go take a picture with Shaq?”

  Steve must have thought I was crazy, but he said, “Sure, go ahead.”

  That photo with Shaq is one of my all-time favorites. He had his arm around my shoulder, and it just about enveloped my entire upper body. He is so huge!!

  The Road to the Future

  As I look ahead, I have all kinds of goals for myself. Playing Sami for so many years has been unbelievable. Even though I’ve been portraying the same character for so long, Sami has changed and grown in a million different ways—and yet she’s still the same person at heart (and sometimes that heart is pretty sinister!). But as Sami has evolved, it has given me a chance to develop as an actress as well.

  Of course, playing Sami is never boring, thanks to escapades like kidnappings, tampering with paternity tests, drugging her older sister’s fiancé, trying to sell her baby sister on the black market, and facing her own execution on Death Row. It certainly doesn’t remind you of the Waltons, does it?

  I’m used to the pace of performing in a one-hour soap every day, but it can still be a challenge. There are thirty pages of dialogue to read and learn each day (I still occasionally have nightmares about forgetting all my lines!). There are early calls that leave no room for sleeping in or idling away the morning hours (6:45 A.M. tomorrow morning as I write this!), and there’s certainly no time or tolerance for feeling full of yourself, self-centered, or big-headed. Fortunately, I’ve always had a strong work ethic, and that keeps me focused on what needs to be done, day after day, one show after another.

  Because Days continues to keep me so busy, it’s hard for me to find much time for other acting jobs, like guest-starring roles on situation comedies or TV movies of the week. When I was a kid, I went to a lot of auditions and I just loved it (in prekindergarten I jabbered so much—telling random stories whenever I spoke in class—that my teacher finally told my mom, “You know, your daughter talks so much; why don’t you take her on auditions and let her make some money from all that chatter?!”).

  Today, I try to make auditions from time to time, but I work so much on Days, I often don’t feel it’s the best use of my down time to spend three hours at an audition, particularly the so-called “cattle calls” where a hundred actresses may be chasing the same role.

  Yes, I do have breaks in the Days taping schedule now and then, but they don’t occur with the kind of regularity that makes it possible to do much advance planning. It’s hard enough to arrange a doctor’s appointment, much less prepare for an audition! I’ve come to terms with the fact that if I’m not going to get to most auditions, that’s okay. I’m not going to let myself stress out over it because scheduling conflicts make it impossible for me to be there, or because I’ve gotten s
tuck in an L.A. traffic jam that means I’ll never make it on time. If it’s something beyond my control, it’s not worth freaking out over it.

  As you can see, I’m working on keeping my life and my psyche in balance. Yes, I still have many, many days when I’m extremely busy at NBC. But I’m also doing better at becoming grounded, and finding time not only for work but also for family and friends. I’ve found that when I put too much emphasis on one part of my life—or when I exaggerate the importance of one event over another—it does nothing for my well-being, either physically or emotionally.

  As I’ve told you throughout this book, very early in life I was unusually lucky to discover the career I wanted to pursue. I dreamed of being an actress from the age of four, and I always believed that I would succeed. But while I seemed to have my act together in front of the camera, I was brimming with insecurities inside. I’ve had to find out who I am and what makes me happy. My life experiences have provided me with insights and the confidence to strive even harder toward my goals.

  Not long ago, I showed up for an audition. I read my lines and thought I did pretty well. But apparently the director didn’t agree. Another actress got the part—and what did I get from the director? Nothing but a nasty comment or two. Yes, I was bummed out on the drive home. But then I made a conscious decision not to dwell on it and let it ruin my evening. I shook it off and went out to a movie with Dave. I refused to let one person’s negative opinion undermine my usually positive frame of mind. It’s not worth it, whether it lasts an hour, a day, or much longer. I’m not going to give it more importance than it deserves—not when I have much more significant people and things to take care of in my life, whether it’s having a quiet dinner with my husband, or simply enjoying happiness wherever it appears.

  For the long term, I’d not only like to build upon my skills as an actress, but (as I mentioned earlier) I also hope to direct someday. Yes, I know what you’re thinking: Doesn’t every actor in Hollywood want to direct? But this is a path that I’m determined to pursue in the future. There have been times when I’ve felt that there must be some dark comedies out there waiting for me to direct (that’s where my own sense of humor lies!).

  I’ve actually been traveling along the learning curve toward becoming a director for years now. On the set of Days, I’m constantly watching our own directors at work and I’ve taken volumes of mental notes. When opportunities present themselves, I’ve asked our directors one question after another, and I’ve learned so much about the creative process from them. They have such enormous talent and so much responsibility, and I’ve taken every chance to learn from them. And they’ve been so generous with their time and their expertise.

  Fan Feedback

  If you haven’t already done so, I hope you’ll begin spending time on my website: www.alisonsweeney.com (at last count, there are about 26,000 unique new visitors to my website each week, and I hope you’ll join them). It’s a great way to stay in touch and keep up to date on recent happenings in my life and my upcoming personal appearances. One of my favorite parts of being an actress on an afternoon TV show is hearing from and communicating with fans who always seem to have an opinion about what Sami’s been up to. I hope you’ll drop me a letter or an e-mail from time to time and let me know your ideas about some of the issues I’ve discussed in this book, as well as what you think about Sami’s latest escapades. I read every letter and answer as many of them as possible.

  I’d also like to hear about your own life, your own goals, and how you’re working to turn them into reality. I hope this book has inspired you to follow your desires and your heart, and to make the most of the years ahead. I certainly don’t claim to be an authority or to have the answer for every question. But as I’ve spoken to and received letters from so many fans, I realize that there are a thousand ways to make the journey and pursue your dreams, whether your goals are to have a fantastic career, build meaningful relationships, manage your weight, improve your fitness, or simply to find happiness in the world.

  Over time, I’m achieving more happiness and more peace of mind. No, I don’t have a perfect life. But I’ve discovered a way of living that works for me. I’ve come to accept and love myself, no matter what the achievements and setbacks in my career may be…no matter how many friends I have…no matter what problems I may be facing…no matter how much I weigh. The number on the scale, for example, certainly doesn’t change who I am; I don’t take it personally anymore.

  I encourage you to find your own path to happiness and fulfillment. As much as possible, live more in rhythm with the person who you really are and want to become. Listen to your heart and your inner voice, and strive for a life that you find rewarding and meaningful.

  In the role of Sami Brady, I did break the mold and the stereotype of what a daytime TV character should be like. I didn’t necessarily have to be the nicest, the thinnest, the most secure, or the most popular person in the world for fans to like me.

  If it suits you, I’d like to see you break the mold, too. Remember, you can be happy and healthy, even if you don’t fit the stereotype of perfection (which none of us really does). You don’t need to be perfect to have a successful life. You just need to be yourself.

  Thank you again to my many fans who have supported me through my life.

  Stick around—the plan is for it to keep getting better.

  Afterward

  Soap 101

  There are tons of rumors about Days of Our Lives on the Internet and just about everywhere else. For instance, I always find it so entertaining when fans come up with crazy theories and assumptions each time actors leave the show. Were they fired? Or did they leave by choice? Did they have major disagreements with the producers? Did the writers find them difficult to work with? Was money an issue?

  There is a lot of fan curiosity about every aspect of the show. In this Afterword, let me address some of the issues that fans most often ask about. Throughout this book, I’ve already described much of what goes on behind the scenes and on the set. But let me spend a few more pages describing the exciting life and hectic pace of being an actor on Days.

  When an actor joins a soap, the standard contract is for three years, and the first contract is broken into thirteen-week cycles. This means that while the actor commits to the producer for three years, the producer reserves the right to fire the actor every thirteen weeks (in subsequent contracts, the 13-week cycles may be replaced by twenty-six-week periods). In the contract, the actor is also guaranteed a minimum number of episodes that he’ll appear in during every 13-week cycle, and the actor gets paid in full, even for episodes that were promised but never materialized. If the producer decides to terminate the actor’s contract at the end of a thirteen-week cycle, the actor has to be notified six weeks before his or her tenure on the show ends.

  I’ve been fortunate to be on Days since I was sixteen years old—more than a decade now. And as I’ve mentioned earlier in the book, we have a very cohesive, tightly knit cast, with none of the cutthroat atmosphere you hear about on other shows. There’s no competition for so-called “front-burner” vs. “back-burner” story lines because the writers constantly cycle all the characters so each of us has our moments to be front and center with one story line or another. You have to be patient, but everyone’s opportunity comes up with regularity.

  The Days actors aren’t on the set every day—only on those days where our characters are in the episode being taped. So we sometimes find ourselves with two to three days off a week, but with little advance notice. We may get our schedules two weeks (or sometimes less) ahead of time, so trying to schedule a dentist’s appointment or a long weekend getaway is often a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants experience.

  The producers are contractually obligated to give each actor two weeks of vacation a year, but they’re not necessarily the two weeks you want, and most certainly not two weeks in a row. You better ask way in advance if there’s a particular week you want to travel to a family reunion o
r wedding, for example. With advance notice, the scripts can be shaped to work around your absence. Or the producers may pre-tape your scenes so your character never misses an episode and the audience never knows you’re gone.

  The show goes on hiatus two weeks a year at Christmas. Everyone gets those two weeks off. To make that possible, we tape ten extra episodes a year—usually six episodes in a five-day period, or sometimes we work Saturdays to create a backlog of extra shows so we can spend the two weeks at Christmas with our families.

  Before the actors see the scripts, of course, the writers have spent a lot of time creating and fine-tuning every word. Our head writer—Jim Reilly—as well as the outline writers and the dialogue writers all take their turns sharpening each script before it ends up in the actors’ laps.

  At Days, our writers are very receptive to input from the actors, and not just when we feel that our character would say a particular line a little differently. At times, the dialogue writer may not have a comprehensive picture of our character’s history or a total recall of what may have happened to our character on an episode he or she didn’t work on.