A Mother's Courage

by Dilly Court

  Later, having given Joss and Beth their tea and played games with them until they were exhausted, Eloise put them to bed, and then she began preparing supper for Ephraim. She had often watched Janet in the kitchen at the vicarage, but had rarely been allowed to do anything more than to stir a pudding or lick cake mixture off the wooden spoon. When she married Ronnie it was another matter, and she had struggled at first, making dreadful mistakes and ruining many meals before she became a competent cook. Now, she put all that experience into practice as she prepared to impress her employer and cajole him into a good mood.

  'About bloody time,' Ephraim snapped as she entered his room carrying a tray of food. 'What hour d'you call this to bring a man his supper?'

  'I'm sorry, sir,' Eloise said mildly. 'It's Agnes's day off and I had to manage on my own.' She put the tray down on a table at the side of his chair and stood back, waiting for his reaction.

  Ephraim's nostrils quivered. He sniffed the air like an animal scenting its prey and a dribble of saliva ran down his chin. 'My God, woman. This looks like a proper man's meal.' He grabbed his knife and fork and cut off a chunk of steak, shoving it greedily into his mouth and slapping his lips as he chewed. 'Now this is what I call proper food. You done well, sweetheart. Come here and give me a kiss.'

  She had to curb the desire to slap his grinning face or to turn and run. Eloise stood where she was, folding her hands primly in front of her. 'I'm glad it meets with your approval, Mr Hubble.'

  'More than that,' Ephraim muttered with his mouth full of fried gammon. 'I haven't eaten like this since me old woman turned up her toes. Poor old soul, she were a fine cook but she had no spirit.'

  'I'm sorry for your loss, sir.'

  'No you ain't.' Ephraim shoved a whole kidney in his mouth. 'You couldn't care bloody less about me and my wives.'

  'Wives?'

  'Three at the last count, though I've a mind to take another quite soon.' Ephraim took a swig of porter from the glass on his tray and he gave her a saucy wink. 'How about it, my little strawberry? D'you want to make an old man's last years the happiest in his life?'

  Eloise tried to smile. 'That's a good joke, sir. Very amusing.'

  'Joking, was I?' Ephraim wiped his lips on his greasy sleeve and his expression hardened. 'I old to go through all that courtship nonsense. I want someone to warm me bed and cook me food like this. You won't get a better offer, so how about it?'

  Stunned, shocked and totally nauseated, Eloise shook her head as she backed towards the doorway. 'I'll fetch your pudding, sir.'

  'Playing hard to get. I like a bit of a game,' Ephraim called after her as she fled from the room.

  Downstairs in the kitchen, Eloise put out cakes, bread and cheese with trembling hands. Ephraim was a hateful old man. How could he suggest such a thing? The mere thought of intimacy between them made her rush to the stone sink in the scullery and retch, but her stomach was empty and she only brought up bile, which left a disgusting taste in her mouth. She hurried out into the yard and washed her face in cool water from the pump. It took her a few minutes to compose herself, but Eloise knew that she must keep on with the charade for a little while longer or else she would never be able to escape from this awful house. Any moment now Agnes would return and she would be beside herself with rage when she discovered that money was missing from her hoard. Eloise knew that Agnes often dipped into the housekeeping money in order to keep herself supplied with gin and snuff, and she would not take kindly to the fact that her employer had been treated to such a slap-up meal, even though it had been purchased with his own money.

  Reluctantly, Eloise returned to the upstairs parlour with the tray of food.

  'So you've come back then? I thought you'd run off to fetch your friend the vicar so that he could marry us tonight.' Ephraim leered at her as he reached out to grab a cake from the tray. 'Iced buns. You really do know the way to a fellow's heart, my duck.'

  Eloise put the tray down and took a deep breath. 'I'm very honoured, Mr Hubble. But I need time to consider your proposal.'

  'It weren't no proposal, dearie. It were an order. You will marry me or you can get out of my house and take your brats with you.'

  Her knees were trembling and she felt faint, but Eloise was not going to be browbeaten. She stood her ground. 'You can't do that, Mr Hubble. I've given you no cause to sack me.'

  He licked his lips. 'I don't need a reason. I'm your employer and I can do as I please in my own home.' His eyes narrowed to slits. 'At least I mean to make an honest woman of you, you silly creature. You won't do better.'

  'I'm sure I won't, and I do appreciate it, but as I said, I need time to think. You've taken me by surprise.'

  'Come and sit on my knee. We'll talk about it some more.'

  'I – I don't think that would be proper, sir. I mean . . .'

  Ephraim pitched the tray onto the floor, slapping his hand on his knees. 'I said sit on my knee. I won't bite. Well, I might nibble you a bit, but I won't eat you.'

  'I – think I hear one of the children crying. Or was that Agnes calling out? I'd best go and see.' Eloise ran from the room and did not stop until she reached the kitchen, where she skidded to a halt as she came face to face with Agnes.

  'What have you been up to then, Mrs Cribb? No good by the looks of you? Got him to propose to you yet? He does that with every new girl, and when he's had his way with them he breaks off the engagement and there's nothing they can do about it. He's got through more servants that way than I can count.'

  'It's none of your business,' Eloise said breathlessly. 'He's a disgusting old man, and I can't imagine anyone wanting to marry him.'

  'He's buried three wives. Mind out you ain't the fourth.' Agnes reached for the pewter tankard. 'I need a drop of blue ruin if I'm to get any sleep tonight.' She tipped the coins into the palm of her hand and her expression hardened. 'You've been thieving my housekeeping money. Give it back or I'll tell him what you done.'

  'I didn't steal it. I used the money to buy supper for Mr Hubble. I didn't keep a penny for myself.'

  Agnes counted out the coins. 'What did you give the old bugger? Champagne and lobster? I could have fed him for a month on what you've spent.' She tipped the coins back into the tankard and returned it to the shelf. 'You'll pay the money back out of your wages. Every last penny of it, d'you hear me?'

  'Go to hell!' Eloise shouted, her nerve snapping. 'Leave me alone.' She slammed out of the kitchen and went to her room, locking and barring the door. It had gone horribly wrong. She was worse off now than she had been before she attempted to get on the right side of Ephraim. She checked on the children and then lay down on her bed fully clothed. She had not eaten all day, but hunger was the least of her problems. Eloise closed her eyes as tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She was determined not to give way to despair, but she was tired and hungry and she longed to hear her mother's gentle voice whispering words of reassurance in her ear. She would say that things would look better in the morning and each new dawn brought with it a fresh opportunity to come to terms with life's problems. Eloise pictured her mother's smiling face, and she could smell the sweet scent of lavender that always clung to her clothes. If she concentrated hard she could almost feel the soft touch of Mama's hand stroking her forehead, as she had done when Eloise was a child and lay sick in bed. Mama would be brave. She was probably facing up to all manner of dangers and discomforts in Africa. One day, in the not too distant future, they would all be reunited and this phase in her life would fade into a memory like a bad dream. 'Take courage, Ellie, dear.' Eloise could hear the words as clearly as if Mama were sitting at her bedside. 'Be brave, my darling girl, and all will come right in the end.'

  Next morning, Eloise had to force herself to take the breakfast tray upstairs to Ephraim's room. She felt sick at the thought of facing him after last night, but she had no alternative. Joss and Beth were in the kitchen with Agnes and she dared not leave them alone with her for long. She took a deep breath as she entered the parl
our and could have sobbed with relief when she found it empty. The mess of broken china and remnants of his supper lay on the floor where he had pitched the tray in his sudden outburst of rage, but clearing that up was as nothing compared to the thought of putting up with his salacious looks and remarks. Perhaps he had worn himself out last night, or maybe he was suffering a further attack of gout after the rich food? Eloise hoped that he was racked with pain, although she knew that Papa would castigate her for such wicked thoughts. However, she had never pretended to be a saint and the image of Ephraim doubled up in agony was a satisfying one after everything he had put her through since he had taken her into his employ. She had just finished picking up the pieces when she heard the thumping of his cane against the wall. His bedroom was next to the parlour, and he must have heard her moving about. She was not yet in a position to throw up her job, and so she went to see what he wanted.

  As she had thought, Ephraim lay in his great four-poster bed and his face was ashen. Deep lines of suffering were etched from his nose to his chin and he looked small and shrunken beneath the canopied tester. 'Fetch the doctor, girl. I'm in agony.'

  Eloise bobbed a curtsey, keeping her head bowed in case he saw the gleam of satisfaction in her eyes. 'Yes, sir.'

  'No, wait. I'll take a dose of laudanum before you go. It's there on my side table. A few drops in a glass of water will help with the pain.'

  'Yes, sir.' Eloise went to the table and was carefully measuring the drops when he roared at her to hurry.

  'I'm suffering torments. It's all your fault, you scheming little bitch. You fed me red meat and rich fancies. You did it on purpose. I shan't marry you now. You're just as bad as all the rest. Money-grabbing, immoral harlots the lot of you.'

  Eloise handed him the glass. 'I'll go for the doctor, sir.'

  'Lift me up then, you stupid whore. I'm crippled I tell you. I can't drink lying down.'

  Reluctantly, Eloise lifted his head just a little and tilted the glass so that he could sip the medicine. He drank it down in one greedy gulp, and before she could move away his hand shot out to cup her breast. She tried to struggle free, but his fingers pinched savagely into her tender flesh. 'Undo your blouse,' Ephraim murmured, his eyes glazing with desire. 'Let me see your titties, girl.'

  Eloise dropped the glass on the floor and she slapped his hand with all her might, but he only tightened his grip. 'I will not, you disgusting old creature. Let go of me.' She felt the buttons on her blouse fly off in all directions as he tightened his hold.

  'I'm suffering. I need a little comfort,' Ephraim whined, grabbing the top of her stays and pulling her towards him. He pressed his face against the swell of her breasts and she could feel his hot breath searing her skin. Revolted and panicked, Eloise dug her fingernails into his hands, scraping at his thin skin so that blood oozed out in long scratches. He released her with a yelp of pain. 'Wildcat. Bitch. I'll have you for that.'

  Eloise did not wait to hear the rest of his impassioned volley of threats. She ran from the room sobbing with anger and humiliation and did not stop until she was inside her own room and had locked the door. Trembling violently, she sank down on the bed, struggling to regain her composure. She must not give in to hysteria. She must not let the children see her in this state, and she must gather her scattered wits so that she could think more clearly. Eloise took a deep breath. The children – she must be strong for them and she must be sensible. The desire to leave this awful house immediately had to be curbed, as without money they would have nowhere to go; she had not even enough to pay for a room in the meanest of lodging houses. Then there was the private detective hired by Hilda. He could be lurking outside on the green at this very moment.

  Despite the fact that she was trembling from head to foot, Eloise managed to change her blouse and tidy her hair, but it took all her willpower to remain calm and self-possessed. When she was satisfied that nothing in her outward appearance would give her away, she braced herself to go down to the kitchen and face Agnes as if nothing had happened.

  'You took your time,' Agnes said crossly. 'I ain't paid to act as nursemaid to your brats. What was you doing up there? Or need I ask?'

  Resisting the temptation to slap the sly grin off Agnes's face, Eloise shrugged her shoulders. 'He's ill in bed. He wants me to fetch the doctor.'

  'Worn him out have you?' Agnes cackled with laughter. 'At least the old bugger will die with a smile on his face.'

  Eloise picked up Beth and held her hand out to Joss. 'Let's go for a walk on the green, poppet. Mama has an errand to do for Mr Hubble.'

  'Mama has an errand to do,' Agnes echoed in a mocking imitation of Eloise's voice. 'You'll get your comeuppance, lady. He'll soon tire of your niminy-piminy ways and send you packing. One day it'll be just him and me again, you'll see.'

  The doctor came down to the kitchen to give them a stern lecture on keeping to the appropriate diet for a gentleman suffering from gout. He stressed the necessity for an even stricter regime to repair the damage done by an excess of rich food, and the need to keep the patient quiet and sedated with laudanum. He eyed Eloise with a baleful glare and said that Mr Hubble was not to be excited in any way. She felt her cheeks burning with embarrassment at the inference that she had been responsible for his present condition, and she opened her mouth to protest, but Agnes spoke up first. 'I think that Mr Hubble should have a proper nurse to look after him, doctor,' she said, casting a malicious look in Eloise's direction. 'Someone who would not take advantage of a sick old gent laid up in his bed.'

  'Quite so. An admirable idea, if Mr Hubble could be persuaded that it was necessary.'

  'And I have the exact person in mind,' Agnes added slyly. 'A good friend of mine, Mrs Jarvis, who is an experienced nurse.'

  'Then I'll leave it to you to make the necessary arrangements, Miss Smith. I'll call again tomorrow.' The doctor turned to Eloise, frowning. 'I think it best if you keep away from the sickroom, ma'am. Mr Hubble must not be excited in any way.'

  Eloise bit back a sharp retort. Let him think what he liked and let Agnes have her moment of triumph. She seemed to be labouring under the delusion that Eloise had ambitions to be the fourth Mrs Hubble, and that by introducing her friend, Nurse Jarvis, she was thwarting her plans. If Agnes knew that nothing could be further from the truth, she would be laughing on the other side of her face. She was not to know that her intervention had given Eloise a breathing space and time to think. But it was only a reprieve. Eloise was only too well aware that when Ephraim recovered the problem would reassert itself. He was not a man to give in easily.

  Mrs Jarvis duly moved in and Eloise could only guess at Ephraim's reaction to this giant of a woman, who was almost as broad as she was tall. It would be a brave man who took liberties with this Amazon-like creature. When she was not in the sickroom, Mrs Jarvis settled down in the kitchen with Agnes. They made it quite plain that Eloise was not welcome in their midst, which suited her very well since they spent their evenings taking snuff, drinking blue ruin and laughing uproariously. In the morning they were both red-eyed and crotchety until they had drunk copious cups of tea and several glasses of seltzer.

  On Sunday afternoon, three days after Mrs Jarvis had moved into the house, Eloise was in the kitchen with the children safe in the knowledge that Agnes and her friend had ensconced themselves in Ephraim's parlour and had taken a bottle of his best brandy with them. They would not reappear until it was time for supper, and Eloise could only guess that Ephraim had been given a larger dose of laudanum than usual to keep him quiet. Annie had promised to come, and Eloise was looking forward to having her company and taking the children out for a walk, something she had avoided recently for fear that the detective might be lurking outside. It was quite irrational, she told herself, as there was nothing to lead him to the house in Clerkenwell Green, but all the same she was apprehensive. She had not even dared to write to Gladys informing her of their new address, just in case the information somehow filtered through to the Cribbs.
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br />   A rapping noise on the window made Eloise start and Joss jumped up and down with excitement, pointing to the face peering at them through the dirt-encrusted windowpane. 'Annie, Mama. Annie's come.'

  Eloise snatched her bonnet off its peg and she hoisted Beth onto her hip. Joss ran on ahead of her, out through the scullery and into the area, where Annie swung him up in her arms. 'Hello, Joss, me boy. How are you today?'

  'Annie. Annie.' Joss tugged at her Sunday best bonnet and she tickled him until he let go and collapsed against her shoulder in a fit of giggles. 'I thought you weren't coming,'

  'She made me work late, the old bitch,' Annie said, hoisting Joss onto her shoulders and heading up the area steps. 'But I'm here now and I weren't followed. I've kept an eye out for the shifty cove, but I ain't seen him again, so perhaps he's given up and gone back to Yorkshire.'

  'I hope so,' Eloise said, following her up the steps. 'I do hope so. I've hardly dared walk out with the children since you told me about him, and they're growing tired of being forever shut up in one small room.'

  'I know exactly the place to go to on such a hot day,' Annie said enthusiastically. 'There's a lovely garden at the back of the Foundling Hospital. I go there on me days off and just sit and look at the trees and flowers. Anyway, I have to be there in case me mum comes looking for me. I think I'd know her if ever I saw her, and I'm sure she'd know me.'

  Eloise crossed the yard and opened the gate, holding it to allow Annie and Joss to pass. 'Doesn't it make you sad, Annie?'

  'Sometimes it does, but most of the time I'm hopeful. I think if I sits there for long enough, one day she's sure to come along. It's not too far from here.'

  The streets were quiet at this time on a Sunday afternoon. The businesses and shops were all closed and it seemed that the city was drowsing in the warmth of the early summer sunshine. The pavements shimmered with a heat haze and the cobblestones were as hot as coals underfoot, but the early heat wave had brought out flies in great swarms. They descended in black clouds, covering the piles of horse dung and rotting rubbish littering the streets in a moving, buzzing mantle of blue-green. The air was thick and still with barely a breeze to take away the stench from the drains and overflowing privies. Eloise experienced a sudden longing for the fresh greenery and clean air of the country, but they were surrounded by an army of tall grey buildings, stained with soot and streaked with bird droppings.