Infatuation

by River Savage

  “How much time do we have?” I ask, starting to second-guess my choice on this dress. The buttons are amazing, but a pain in my ass.

  “Okay. Done.” Kadence steps back and allows me to take a closer look in the floor-length mirror.

  “Wow.” I look at myself, my hand instantly touching my stomach.

  I’m going to be a mom.

  Beau’s going to be a dad.

  I don’t even see myself as a bride on my wedding day, making sure everything is perfect. All my eyes see is my hand on my stomach holding in the biggest secret.

  “Beau is going to freak.” Bell pulls me out of my head and I turn to look back up at her.

  Would he? I know she’s not talking about the news, rather how I look, but all I can focus on is the life growing inside of me.

  “Mackenzie?” I look up at Kadence’s voice as the music starts to play, signaling the beginning of the ceremony.

  “Oh my, God, girls.” I inhale deeply, only to stop when a sharp pain halts me, radiating through my chest.

  “What’s wrong?” Kadence steps forward, offering me her arm.

  “I can’t breathe.” My heart beats fast and my hands start to sweat.

  “You can, just slow your breathing down.” She tries to calm me by holding me, but it doesn’t help. I’m too worked up. Holly steps forward, followed by Bell, but each one of their panicked faces only pushes me into anxiety.

  “No, I can’t. It hurts, something’s wrong.” I inhale again, only to be restricted by the same sharp pain. “I can’t do this.” I step out of Kadence’s embrace and pace. “What am I doing here, guys?” I know I’m overthinking it, but I can’t help it. Everything that’s happened over the last four months has happened so fast.

  Between Kelly coming out of her coma, Missy’s place taking off and needing so much of our attention, Beau asking me to marry him and now this— everything feels rushed.

  “I can’t. Oh, God, I can’t.” I sit on the floor, my legs becoming too unsteady to stand. “I can’t breathe. I literally cannot breathe.” The sharp pain in my chest grows as I struggle with short pants. “It hurts.”

  I briefly hear Kadence talking to someone before tunnel vision kicks in and I’m spiraling out of control.

  Is this too soon? What if we aren’t ready? Question after question spins me further out of control. I can hear Kadence and Bell’s voice try to pull me back, but I can’t latch on to them. I’m too focused on what’s happening inside of me.

  “Mackenzie.” The deep timbre of Beau’s voice breaks through my panic and a quick sharp burst of air accompanies it. “Come back to me, darlin’.” He enters my headspace and slowly starts to coax me back. “Slow your breathing and come back to me, now.” I’m moved from the floor and pulled into the warmth of his lap.

  Not understanding what’s happening, I focus on his smooth comforting voice and follow his orders.

  “That’s it, darlin’, nice slow breaths.” I do as I’m told, drawing strength and comfort from him. After a few more silent minutes, I’m finally able to open my eyes.

  “Beau?” I look up, the room coming back to me.

  “Welcome back.” He pushes some curls from my face and leans forward to gently kiss me.

  “I’m so sorry.” I close my eyes, realizing I just totally freaked and caused him to come running back here.

  “Talk to me. What happened?” I look up briefly, noticing we’re alone.

  “Where are the girls?”

  “I kicked them out.” He lifts his shoulder in a shrug, and for the first time since he’s come in, I notice his outfit.

  “You look handsome.” I run my eyes over him. He’s wearing his leather Rebels cut over a clean white dress shirt that pulls tight over his arms, and black pants.

  When we started planning our wedding, Beau only had two requests. First was he would not wear a tux and second, he wanted to be married at the clubhouse. It didn’t bother me either way where we got married, but I was a little disappointed I wasn’t going to see him in a suit. Now I’ve seen his alternative, I’m not so torn up.

  “Glad you approve.” He grins his sexy grin as I look back up at him. His hair is pulled back in one of his messy buns, which makes his beard look longer, and my knees weak. “I’m trying not to look at you, darlin’, but from what I can see, you’re taking my breath away.” I smile at his ability to always say the right thing. We both know I’m a hot mess right now. I mean, he just pulled me up from the floor of my old room in the clubhouse.

  “Seriously, did I just ruin our wedding?” I dab under my eyes with the pad of my finger.

  “I don’t know why you would say that? I think it’s normal for the groom to come back and talk the bride down from having a panic attack.”

  “Don’t joke right now.” I shift a little in his lap, my dress less restricting now I’m not in the middle of a full-blown freak out.

  “What happened?” His voice lowers with his question and I know we’re being serious now.

  “I just panicked. I don’t know.” He rests his forehead to mine and lets me try to gather my thoughts.

  “You wanna get out of here?”

  “What? No!” I pull back, almost shocked he even suggested leaving. Not only do we have forty people waiting outside for us to be married, I want this.

  “Then talk to me. What’s happening?”

  “I’m pregnant.” I blurt the news out without even thinking about the consequences. His body tenses underneath mine while he processes my words.

  “Darlin’.” His hands come up and cup my face. “Are you fucking with me?” I shake my head. “You have my baby inside of you?”

  I nod.

  “I just found out. Like ten minutes ago. I took a test.”

  “This why you panicked?”

  I nod again.

  “This is what you want, right? Why you stopped taking the pill?”

  “It is, but I wasn’t expecting it so soon.” I only stopped taking the pill last month, thinking we would have some time to enjoy married life before I would be peeing on sticks.

  “You having second thoughts?” His brows dip low as he tries to figure me out. It’s not like we haven’t discussed it. As soon as he put his ring on my finger, he’s talked about starting a family. I just wasn’t expecting to find out right here, on my wedding day.

  “No. Never. I want this so much. I just think with everything happening I’m a little overwhelmed. You know?”

  “I know, darlin’. Things have been hectic, but that’s all gonna change. Life is settling down now. Missy’s place has found its pace, and you have my baby inside of you.” He pulls me tighter against his chest, and wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace. “I’ve got ya, darlin’, whenever you need me. Even minutes before you’re meant to be marrying me.” He chuckles when I groan. I’m never going to live this down. I just know it.

  “I love you, Beau.”

  “And I love you, darlin’.” He holds me for a little while before pulling back, “So, you still wanna marry me?” The corner of his mouth rises, waiting for my reply, and I smile back at his playfulness.

  “Yeah.” I nod, letting him kiss me briefly.

  “Come on. I’ll walk you down the aisle.” He stands, taking me with him.

  “You can’t do that.” I wasn’t planning on having anyone walk me down, but now he’s offered, the thought actually sounds appealing.

  “I can do what I want. My wedding.” He moves to the door, opens it, and almost has to catch Holly and Kadence as they fall forward.

  “Sorry.” They fight to hold their laughter in as they look from me to Beau. Bell hangs back, holding her own laugher.

  “We’re ready. We’re walking down together, so go take a seat,” Beau tells them, unimpressed they were eavesdropping, but he doesn’t call them out.

  “Does she need to be fixed up?” Holly peaks past Beau for a better look. “Yeah, she needs me.” She pushes past him and comes to me.

  “Rule one, n
o crying before the ceremony.” She shakes her head and sets about making me pretty again. It only takes a few minutes, before I’m back to being presentable. Holly and Kadence leave, but not before Beau warns them to keep their mouths shut about anything they heard. They both act like they have no clue what he’s talking about. That is until they both give up their act and embrace us with congratulations and hugs.

  Something tells me our news will be public before the night ends.

  “You ready?” Beau asks when we’re left alone.

  “Never been more ready.” I take his hand, letting him guide me out of the room, down the hall, and through the empty clubhouse. The soft hum of Hunter’s guitar grows louder as we exit the clubhouse and walk toward one of the large marquees Beau rented. It’s just gone dusk, and the fairy lights hanging from the marquee glow against the warm sky, setting the mood,

  Everyone comes to a stand as we walk hand in hand down a small aisle covered in white rose petals.

  I know it’s not traditional with Beau walking me down the aisle and with no bridesmaids, but it couldn’t be more perfect. Just the two of us, doing this together.

  We come to a stop and face each other in front of Brie, our social worker and friend who works with us at Missy’s, who also happens to be qualified to officiate weddings. Our wedding.

  Over the last four months, Brie and I have grown close. When she found out I was looking for someone to marry us, she offered herself.

  I couldn’t think of anyone or anything more perfect.

  “Welcome to all who have gathered here this evening to share in this marriage ceremony of Beau McIntyre and Mackenzie Morre,” she begins as everyone takes a seat around us. Most of our guests are from the club, with a few new faces from Missy’s Place.

  “These words, spoken today between Beau and Mackenzie are indeed important and sacred, but they are not what joins these two together, nor is this marriage ceremony. We are not here to witness the beginning of their relationship, but to acknowledge and celebrate a lasting bond that already exists between them. Beau and Mackenzie have already joined their hearts and chosen to walk together on life's journey, and we have come to bear witness to a symbolic union and a public affirmation of the love they share.”

  She pauses, letting it all sink in, but I’m too lost in Beau and his eyes on me. I’m barely keeping up.

  “Mackenzie and Beau, the pledge you make today expresses your devotion to one another and to the love you share, and the words spoken here will support your marriage if you are able to sustain your commitment through the inevitable hardships you'll face together. Today, in the presence of your families and friends, you pronounce your love for each other and make a commitment that will define the next phase of your journey. The vows Mackenzie and Beau recite today have been written by them. Written from the heart and spoken to the soul. Beau, would you like to go first?” She looks to Beau first. Beau nods, then clears his throat before beginning.

  “Mackenzie, you know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow you still manage to love me. There’s still a part of me today that can’t believe I’m the one who gets to marry you.” He reaches forward and wipes away a lone tear as it falls down my cheek. “When I held you in my arms that night in the back of the van, something in me clicked. It’s as if my body knew you were mine before my heart did, but then I let you go. I drove away when every part of me told me to stay. I’m never letting you go again, darlin’. Today, I choose you as my family. I promise to love you without reservation, and communicate fully and fearlessly. To never hurt you in anger and to always hold you with care. I have no greater gift to give but my word. As your trust is my strength, accept my heart as your shelter and my arms as your home. I give you all I am, and all I shall become.”

  “Oh God, that’s so beautiful.” I lean forward and whisper so only he can hear.

  “No, you’re beautiful.” He smiles down at me before I’m told it’s my turn.

  “Mackenzie, please recite your vows,” Brie interrupts our chat, causing a soft chuckle from our guests.

  “Beau,”—I steady my voice and hold his hand tighter—“because of you my feet dance, my heart beats, and my eyes see. I laugh, I smile, and I dare to dream again. You’ve saved me in more ways than one.” My voice wobbles and I take a second to gather myself.

  “You’re doing good, darlin’,” Beau encourages, bringing me back.

  “You showed me what love feels like and because of that, I choose you to be none other than yourself. Loving what I know of you and trusting who you will become, I promise you my deepest love, my fullest devotion, and my tender care. Through the pressures of the present to the uncertainty of the future, I promise to always be faithful, to love you with actions, not just words. From this day forward, you won’t ever walk alone. As you have given me your heart to hold, I give you my life to keep.”

  “I love you,” he whispers leaning down and kissing me before he’s meant to.

  “The rings?” Brie shakes her head at our inability to stick to the rules. Nix steps forward and hands Beau the rings.

  “Beau, please take Mackenzie’s hand and repeat these words after me. I give you this ring as a symbol of our love.”

  Beau takes my hands and looks down at me. “Mackenzie, I give you this ring as a symbol of our love.” His rough voice washes over me as he slides the gold band down my finger.

  “For today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come. Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day.”

  “For today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come. Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day.” He brings my hand up to his mouth and presses his lips to my ring.

  “And know my love is present, even when I am not.”

  “And know my love is present, even when I am not, darlin’.” I smile at his slip in of darlin’.

  “Mackenzie, please take Beau’s hand and repeat these words. I give you this ring as a symbol of our love, for today and tomorrow, and for all the days to come.” I follow her instruction word for word, while keeping my eyes firmly on Beau, only taking my eyes off him to slide his ring on his finger.

  “Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day. And know my love is present, even when I am not.”

  “Wear it as a sign of what we have promised on this day. And know my love is present, even when I am not.” He winks down at me when I look back up.

  “Mackenzie and Beau, you have professed your love by exchanging your vows and you have symbolized your commitment by exchanging rings. With those two important things out of the way, there are a couple of questions I need each of you to answer.” Brie smiles at both of us before turning to Beau.

  “Beau, do you take Mackenzie to be your wife, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?”

  “I do.” He gives his answer, no reservations, just pure total honesty.

  “Mackenzie, do you take Beau to be your husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?”

  “I do.” His hands squeeze mine briefly before a smile breaks out over his face.

  “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Beau, you may kiss your bride. Again.” Not needing to be told twice, Beau pulls me into his embrace, dips me back and takes my lips against his for the first time as my husband officially.

  Once and for all, finally claiming me as his.

  * * *

  BEAU

  “Just give me five minutes,” I whisper into her ear as I push her up against the brick wall of the clubhouse. It’s late and we should be cutting cake, but I dragged Mackenzie out of the marquee and around the far side of the clubhouse for some privacy.

  �
�You, last five minutes?” she sasses as she shimmies her panties down her legs like I asked.

  “Not gonna fuck you, darlin’, just warming you up for when I get you home.” I move my mouth over her jaw and slowly make my way down her neck. Nipping along her smooth skin.

  “I’m going to need these back.” She hands me her panties then tilts her neck back, giving me better access.

  “You’re not having them back tonight,” I tell her, and pocket the flimsy lace.

  “You’re going to make me cut our wedding cake panty-less?” I reach down and hike her wedding gown up, sliding my hand along the inside of her thigh.

  “You’ll be lucky if we make it to the cake.” My fingers find their prize. Pushing past her bare lips, I’m met with her arousal.

  A soft whisper of pleasure flies out of her mouth and I push her further by sliding my finger into her tight heat.

  “Beau.” Her hands move to my shoulders, her fingers pressing in as I push into her faster.

  “Shh, darlin’, or we’re gonna have an audience.” I remove my finger and replace it with two. It’s not like we’re completely exposed, but if anyone looks, they’ll find us.

  Her hips come forward at my intrusion, and I pick up my pace, wanting to pull just one orgasm out of her before we eat cake.

  “Ahh, we so shouldn’t do this.” Her hips roll in time with my fingers, while her head rests back on the brick wall.

  Her mouth says we shouldn’t, but her slick, wet cunt is telling me otherwise.

  “Come on, darlin’, fuck my fingers.” I ignore her reservations and continue my pace.

  “Beau, yes, there.” My fingers zone in on her favorite spot as my thumb finds her clit. Her breathing labors just as her walls tighten. Dropping my mouth to her neck, I run my tongue in a line of swirls, before biting down.

  “Beau!” she shouts out, and I have to cover her mouth with mine to stifle her screams as she explodes over my fingers. Her pussy convulsing over and over again.

  “Shh!” I pull back and chuckle at her inability to be quiet. Not even a little.