by Davis, Alexa
“I love you,” he told me sincerely, shocking me. “I truly do love you.”
Those words made my chest swell with joy, and my emotions spin into overdrive. He loved me? He really loved me? We hadn't gotten into this thing for love; it had been chemistry, temptation, almost the fact that it was taboo, but there was definitely something more intense developing.
“I… I love you, too,” I whispered back, instantly knowing that it was the truth. “So, so much.”
With that, Roy began to move slowly and sensually on top of me, running kisses all over as he did. We kept our eyes fixed upon one another, allowing the emotions, the true depth of our feelings to one another to shine through. It felt like the most romantic thing in the world.
As the intense, clawing, dizzying pleasure tore through my body, leaving me clinging on to Roy for dear life, I took the moment to enjoy the loss of control. There was nothing better than giving myself completely to Roy, emotionally and physically, and it was a moment that I never wanted to end.
As my breaths started to return to normal, I made the bold decision to flip him onto his back so he could watch me as I rode him. We’d given everything to one another tonight, sacrificed so much to make this happen, and I wanted him to see everything about me.
His eyes worked their way all over my body, and the appreciative look behind them made me feel safe and adored. That look, it was worth everything.
I slid up and down him, settling into the rhythm that he seemed to enjoy the most. As his breaths grew heavier and he drew nearer to the brink of orgasm, he sat up and wrapped his arms tightly around me, allowing us to kiss as we moved in unison. He bit my lip lightly as the pleasure crashed through him, and we clung to one another tightly. I got the sense that we were in this together, that we were a union now and nothing in the world could tear us apart.
“Oh God, June,” he cried out in joy. “Never let me go.”
I knew in that moment I never would – I was in it for the long haul. I usually did everything I could to protect myself, but now that barrier was gone and I felt so amazingly free.
As we collapsed on the sheets next to one another, panting and giggling alternately, I turned to face Roy with joy in my eyes. “Did you mean what you said?” I asked him, wanting to confirm everything. I knew I was probably acting a little needy, but surely now that we’d told one another we were in love, that ship had long sailed. Really, what I probably wanted was for him to just say those delicious words to me all over again.
“Of course I did,” he grinned back at me, lightly stroking my cheek. “I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.”
I never would have thought Roy was a man to jump in feet first, but that was what seemed to be happening here. It seemed like he was finally leaving his trauma in the past and moving forwards – with me. He trusted me enough to pass his heart over to me, and I felt truly honored for that.
“I love you, too,” I just needed to confirm my feelings for him. I wanted him to hear it, just as I needed him to say it because this was totally and utterly real.
“I know you do,” he shocked me by saying. “You wouldn’t have done everything you have if you didn’t. You risked everything for me, and I’m very grateful.”
My chest swelled with pride as he wrapped me up in his arms, filling me with love. This was so positive, and I couldn’t believe that we’d actually made it this far. Sure, there were many other things in my life that now needed fixing, but it didn’t matter – we would get there. We had each other now, we weren’t alone, and that felt better than anything else ever could.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Roy – Thursday
“Wakey, wakey,” I teased above June, waking her up with breakfast in bed. “Rise and shine. I got you something to eat.”
“At least you waited until the sun rose today,” she half grumbled, sitting up with sleep in her eyes. She looked so cute, with her hair a little more mussed up after a good night of sleep. As she rubbed her eyes, I smiled to myself, thankful to have found her, despite how much of a morning person she was not . “Thank you; this all looks lovely.”
“So, I have something to tell you,” I admitted, perching on the edge of the bed while she chewed on her toast. I knew this was something that I should have told her the night before, but I hadn't wanted to bring up the awful subject of the murder when things were so good between us. Considering what happened afterwards, considering we told one another that we were in love, I was glad I had waited.
“What’s that?” She eyed me curiously, waiting for me to confess.
“When I was at the police station yesterday and they asked me to make a statement, I told them everything.”
“About us?” she asked innocently, not fully understanding what I was trying to tell her. “I already told them that part, so you didn’t really need to.”
“No, I mean everything . I told them all about Lewis, all about the gambling, the murder… I know that I probably could have gotten away with it anyway, without telling them the truth about everything. But I had a moment of clarity where I realized that I just couldn’t help him anymore and that was okay.
“I had done my best for Lewis, given him my everything, and it hadn't worked. I realized that it was time to give someone else a try. Plus, I might not have known who that man who died was, but his murder deserves justice. This is the only way that I can help him with that.”
“Wow,” she gasped in amazement, sliding her body closer to mine. “That’s incredible. I’m really proud of you. That must have been a hard decision to make, but I think you did the right thing. I’m proud of you.”
As her arms wrapped around me, and she held me close to her, I felt her pride flooding me. She was right about it being the hardest choice to make, but at least I knew for sure that it was the right one. My conscience was clear. “But what about the business?” she suddenly asked in surprise. “I mean, obviously you can’t give it over to him anymore, so what are you going to do? There will be a whole lot of sorting out to do, financially, right?”
“The first thing I need to do is call a press conference, which I will get to this morning. I know that all the local media will be interested in this story, so I would much rather them hear it from the horse’s mouth.” I sent her a sad smile at that moment, remembering what she’d given up for me all over again. “It’s just a shame that you won’t be there, firing awkward questions at me.”
“I’m glad,” she mused thoughtfully. “I don’t think I would want any part of this. I’m done with that world now. It’s just time to move on and to find something new that makes me happy.”
“So, you won’t be running off to the big city anytime soon?”
“No,” she replied softly, looking at me lovingly. “No chance. I want to be here, with you. This is my home now.”
That statement secured my future and made my heart swell with joy. If she wanted to stay with me, then we could continue living here in the one place that made me happiest of all. And once all of this mess was behind us, we could really start living again.
***
“I hope that’s answered all of your questions,” I announced to the members of the press in front of me. “And, thank you very much for listening.”
I had decided to use the only tactic that I had left to my advantage: honesty. I had the strong feeling that it had worked. It hadn't been easy to admit that I had allowed someone so erratic, so potentially dangerous, to run my company, but I felt like I’d expressed myself in the best way that I could. I just hoped that it had been enough.
It had been very difficult, considering dealing with the press wasn’t what I was used to at all, but I felt like I’d done okay. I spoke professionally, clearly, concisely, and I’d answered all the questions fired at me in the best way that I could. It might have been a little terrifying to do, but I was glad that I’d done it. It felt like a positive step in the right direction.
I felt like people’s perceptions had already loosened a
little more towards me because of the article that June wrote, which came out today. I hadn't been expecting it, and it was likely that she hadn't, either, but I got the impression that the positive light she’d shone on me had worked to my advantage. Luckily, no one seemed to have cottoned on to the fact that we were a couple just yet, so it hadn't been questioned or seen as biased, at all.
I knew that I still had a long road ahead of me, a lot of people to convince that things would be okay in the future, investors, stockholders, staff, etc, but I felt like I had what it took to do it. Sure, it would mean that I wouldn’t get the retirement that I’d planned for, but that didn’t feel quite so important anymore.
Maybe what I hadn't realized before was that I was just looking for a little more from my life, and that was why I wanted an escape from the business, or maybe I was just feeling a little left out from it all. With a load of new excitement in my life and a solid purpose to return, I found a small vigor inside of me, one that actually wanted to carry on.
As everyone filed out of the room, looking like they had what they wanted from me, I sat back in my chair and considered what I wanted to do next. I knew that I probably should head over to the office and begin trying to work out the state that the finances were in, but that felt like a fresh start sort of move. I wasn’t quite ready for that just yet. There was still something hanging over my head that I felt needed to be tackled first; I just wasn’t quite sure how to do it.
I tugged my phone from my pocket and scrolled through the names, until I reached the one that I wanted to call. Lewis. I wanted to tell him why I’d betrayed him, why I’d told the police what he’d done, because I felt like he at least deserved an explanation. We’d been through so much together; he was like a younger brother to me, someone I cared for deeply. I wanted him to understand that I thought I was doing the right thing.
But of course I couldn’t call him; chances were he was already at the police station. I guessed that I could go there to find out more. They might not allow me to speak to him, but I had to try something.
With a deep sigh, I grabbed my car keys and drove to the station, all the time trying to work out what I was going to say, how I would explain myself. I wasn’t sure that he would ever understand, that I would ever be able to make him see, but I had to try.
“Hi, Officer Hurley,” I smiled, glad to see her as soon as I walked inside. I had a feeling that she would be the one person who could understand where I was coming from with this. “Do you have Lewis here?”
“We do,” she eyes me a little suspiciously. “Why? You aren’t here to change your statement, are you?”
“No,” I shook my head, sending her a sad smile. “I’m not. I guess I just want a moment alone to speak to him. If that’s okay?”
“It isn’t really standard procedure…” she started, but I stepped closer to her, allowing her to see the pleading in my eyes.
“I just want a moment,” I begged. “I won’t say anything that can affect anything. I just want to explain to him why I turned him in. We’ve been very close for years. I just want him to understand that I’m trying to help him.”
“Well…” She didn’t look like she wanted to, but she seemed to get the sense that I wasn’t going anywhere until I got what I wanted. “Okay, but only for a couple of moments.”
She walked me through the hallways that I had become far too familiar with over the last few days. I felt really uneasy. This was going to suck, I was sure of it, but I wouldn’t be able to move on if I didn’t. I would always be worried that Lewis would hate me, and while that still could be true, I had to at least try.
“Here we are,” she let me inside, and there I saw him, slumped over the table looking awful.
“Lewis?” I asked, pleading with him to look up at me. “Lewis, it’s me.” He glanced up at me with such hatred in his eyes that it took me aback, but he didn’t say anything. “Lewis, I know you don’t want to speak to me, I understand that, but I just wanted to come here and explain.”
He snorted, but remained silent, which I felt gave me the right to sit down beside him. He wasn’t telling me to get lost, so I decided to take that as an indicator that he still wanted to listen, even if he didn’t want to talk.
“Okay, so the reason I came to the police, to tell them what you did even though you begged me not to was not to get them off my back, even though I’m sure that’s what you think. I did it for you.” He glared at me with such venom, but even that wasn’t enough to stop me.
“You need help with your addiction, help that I cannot give, and I think that in prison, you will get that. I also think that by doing so much for you, I have given you the impression that there are no consequences of your actions. I have always bailed you out, and maybe that wasn’t the way to go about things, I don’t know,” I shook my head sadly.
“Anyway, this time, someone died for your gambling, and whether that was an accident or not, you need to face what you’ve done. Things have gotten so out of hand now, and you need to accept your role in that.” He glanced down, fixing his eyes on his shoes, but I got the sense that he might have been crying. “I know that you might not get it right now, but I hope that eventually you will. I hope that you understand, and maybe, when you get out, you want to talk to me.”
I stood up, looking down at him with pity in my eyes. However bad I felt, this was the only thing that I could have done, and one day he would see that…at least, I hoped he would.
“Goodbye, Lewis,” I finished, before turning and walking away. I half expected him to reply, to say anything, but he didn’t – he simply let me leave.
Chapter Thirty-Four
June – Saturday
I had spent the rest of the week tidying up my home, wanting to get all of the household chores that I’d been putting off while I was working finally done. This all really felt like a fresh start to me, and I was enjoying that side of things. I knew that I had a lot to worry about, and that I really needed to start trying to find a new career to work on, but that would come. I felt confident about that. I had to keep up hope, that was really all I had by this point.
To be honest, I was far too happy with Roy to be worrying about anything else at the moment, anyway. We were in love, finally happy, and that was keeping me going.
He’d done his press conference, succeeded at that, been to see Lewis, which admittedly had been less successful, but cathartic all the same, and he was finally looking forward. He was looking to the future, and that felt wonderful. We were both in the same place, both looking towards what was to come, and that made me so damn happy.
It seemed strange to me that when I’d met him he was all up for giving up his business and moving on, whereas now, he was all fired up about it, but it was good too. I felt like I was finally getting to see that really passionate, enthusiastic side of him, the one that had gotten him to where he was in the first place.
It was incredible. He was so dedicated, so enthused, so full of desire, that it made me want that for myself. Even when I started along the path to become a journalist, I hadn't felt that much passion for it; it had been more of an escape from Florence than anything else. It had been a way out, I could see that now, and I’d gripped tightly onto it with both hands. It had been my only driving force, which was why I ran with it.
What I really loved was to write, but I wasn’t sure how that could make me a career anymore. Maybe it was time to find something else; maybe it was time to accept that writing just wasn’t for me. Maybe it was time to start thinking outside the box.
At least I had Roy to distract me today. He was at his ranch, finishing off the fence, which was a job that had taken on a higher priority considering what had happened recently, but once he was done, we were going to just hang out and relax, take the day to just be us.
Ring, ring…
Ring, ring….
Ring, ring…
When Roy didn’t answer his phone, I knew that he had to still be busy, but I wasn’t about to let th
at put me off. It was unlikely that he’d eaten all day, so we could start with lunch. As I scrabbled through the fridge, fixing us up a picnic, I made sure to grab enough food for Tank, too. That gorgeous mutt wasn’t used to eating dog food, and I wasn’t about to change that. Whatever Roy had been doing for all these years had clearly worked because he was such a wonderful dog, and I was more than happy to help him with that.
As I drove along the road that had become almost like home to me, I couldn’t help but smile, recalling the first time that I’d driven along here in that ridiculous dress and high heels, trying my best to impress him. Back then, I had thought he was going to be a rich, arrogant asshole, one who wouldn’t speak to me. I assumed that I was going to struggle to get an interview, and that after it, I would be ready to move on to another phase of my life.
I guess that with that prediction, I was right – it just hadn't gone as I’d been expecting it to. If only I’d known…
As I grew nearer, I laughed to myself, remembering the car crash and the first words he’d spoken to me…or more like mouthed to me. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?” I was so bewildered in that moment, completely taken aback and humiliated by the crash, but I was still able to see how damn good looking he was and how nervous he made me. Who would have known then that we would end up in love? It was such a crazy world.
Then I saw him, standing at the fence line with Tank, and my heart skipped a beat all over again. I didn’t think that there would ever be a time when he wouldn’t have such an effect on me. He would always give me butterflies and a chest filled with love. I didn’t think that our chemistry, my emotions, would ever grow stale.
“Hey there,” I called out, as Tank raced towards me for some love. “How is it going?” I bent down and patted Tank, allowing him to lick me all over.