Welcome to E. Mayberry

by Chris Genovese

  As we walked along the street, we saw a photo of Tina and Dave tucked behind a bunch of dandelions. Two gay guys were in the next house over, looking sharp in matching black dress shirts and red ties. I’d never met them before but according to Bastian their names were Gregory and Robert. Every couple looked great in their photo and it reminded me of my family’s New Year’s tradition growing up. We had to buy brand new clothes that couldn’t be worn until New Year’s Eve. To greet the New Year in old threads meant you were fine with sticking with old ways and didn’t care for anything new. It appeared the people in Erotic Mayberry had a great respect for this Harvest Festival and saying hello to it with a great photo of two people in love.

  By the time we reached the park, the party was in full swing. What was usually a soccer/football field now looked like any traditional town fair you could imagine, minus mechanical rides. The chain link fence door was wide open but a clear path was set up with wooden booths to both sides, making sure those entering the fair went in the right direction. Trees formed a canopy overhead keeping us shrouded in shade, making me feel like I’d entered an enchanted forest.

  The right side was lined with wooden snack shacks. Barbecue chicken, sausages on a stick, hot dogs, cotton candy, cheesesteaks, and chili. These were some of the scents mixing in the air and drifting our way on the breeze.

  “You have to try Regan’s slaw,” Bastian said with a playful squeeze of my hand. “It’s not your usual coleslaw. I don’t know what she does but it’s fucking amazing. Oh and Billy’s piping hot Frito chili pie.”

  “Sounds like someone’s finally getting excited,” I said.

  “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  The left side of our dirt path was lined with traditional games. The ring toss and the one where you throw the baseball at the bottles and the one where you throw darts at balloons and the one where you try to collect the yellow rubber duckies with a magnetic fishing pole…all the games from the church fairs of my youth were side by side and suddenly I was excited too.

  Everything was run by a community member. No visitors or vendors were allowed into the place which told me things would eventually heat up. I couldn’t imagine the big fair being a typical day at the park. Surely there’d be some outlandish shit going on before the thing ended.

  At the end of the trail, the trees overhead thinned out and we walked onto a bright green field with the sun beaming down over us. This was where the real party was going on. Emery and Kendall’s country boy stood on top of a water truck, spraying a crowd of dancing community members with fire hoses. Most were fully dressed but a few had already stripped down to nothing at all.

  About fifty feet behind them was a stage with a live band. They were horrible but they were all community members so what could I expect. One guy sat at a keyboard and sang along to some classic rock song I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I think it was something by The Doors. Every few words or so he’d stop singing and play the harmonica hanging around his neck. To his left a woman strummed a guitar and behind him a guy was on drums.

  “That’s Rudy and the Dynamites,” Bastian informed me. “They’re fucking horrible but they grow on you. They do a mean Jessie’s Girl though. That one’s always a hit.”

  I felt like I had a personal tour guide.

  Odds and ends from some of the upcoming games were strewn about the park but all the people were either busy getting food or they were dancing.

  “Wanna dance?” Bastian asked.

  “Can I have a drink first?” I asked.

  “Of course. Beer?”

  “Perfect.”

  Bastian jogged to the nearest beverage stand and came back with two bottles of beer.

  “Ever gotten drunk beneath a shower of cold water in the hot sun?” he asked.

  I had to admit it was one of the few things I’d never done. He wanted to change that.

  “Clothes on or off?” I asked.

  “Let’s start with ‘em on,” he said. “We’ll have plenty of time for naked fun later.”

  Like two little kids, we kicked off our shoes and ran out into the water to join the others in the fun. Emery hit me with a cold blast as soon as I reached the crowd. It was clear he was aiming right at me from the way it smashed into my tits, lifting them up in the solid spray. I’d gone braless because Bastian had told me we’d eventually be out of our clothes anyway. The water spray moved lower and hit me right in the crotch of my jean shorts. Bastian’s white polo and tan cargo shorts were drenched too and it was clear from the way the shorts clung to his cock that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. A man going commando is so fucking hot.

  Soon Jackie and her pet were dancing to our left with Pasha and Suzanne on our right. Bree came out to join us too, solo since her owner was one of the ones dousing us with water. It didn’t take long for me to finish my first beer and it seemed everyone around me was trying to get me drunk. As soon as I finished one beer I was being handed another. It was crazy.

  Then I was half drunk and none of it mattered. I was having a fucking blast. I was soaking wet and my hair was a mess. The pet grooming the day before must’ve been nothing more than an old fashioned formality since my hair was drenched and my golden luster seemed to have disappeared. The tipsier I got the less any of that mattered and the music suddenly seemed damn good to me. When Jessie’s Girl came on, Jackie and I made our way over to the front of the stage where we could sing along.

  At some point a bouncy house appeared. I’d been having such a great time I didn’t even notice it being erected, but suddenly there it was, a huge castle with soap suds shooting into it from machines. Bree grabbed my hand and pulled me toward it. Bastian and Pasha and the others followed.

  When I climbed inside, I was immediately hit with a blast of soapy bubbles and I lost my footing. I fell flat on my ass and couldn’t stop laughing. Soon after, Bree bounced off a wall and slipped onto the floor too. We tried to climb up but couldn’t get our footing so we lay there and laughed while the others climbed in to join us.

  Music played from somewhere, now more modern stuff. It seemed the live band had finished their set and a DJ had taken over. Fun summertime hits from all different eras played one right after the other. It took Bree no longer than five minutes to strip her clothes off and toss them outside the bouncy house door. Jackie fell on her ass and used that time to strip out of hers. Bastian lifted my shirt off and his followed. Then we were all naked and hopping around like children.

  Bree slipped again and instead of getting up, she crawled over to Jackie where she took one of her nipples in her mouth and sucked on it. She spit out the nasty taste of the bubbles and laughed, but then Jackie was kissing her and they ignored whatever horrible taste the suds had and were going at it like experienced girl-on-girl lovers, grinding against each other’s knees.

  They were the only ones getting frisky. The rest of us enjoyed the time for what it was, innocent playtime with friends. I jumped and laughed at the sight of my own tits bobbing around to the music. Lime and a Coconut played from outside and Bastian played along to the lazy song, randomly bumping into walls like he was high as a kite. You had to be there to get it but when he slipped and smacked his face on Pasha’s ass, I thought I’d never stop laughing.

  When we finally climbed out of the bouncy house, one of my other childhood favorite playthings was set up. A super long and super wide slip and slide was stretched across the grass. On one end, an owner sat with her legs open, naked pussy waiting, while her soaped up pet stood on the opposite end, far from the slide so he could get a running start. All around the slide people were naked and waiting their turn.

  I watched with fascination as the pet ran as hard as he could, his dick flopping around, then leapt through the air, landed on his stomach, and flew across the slide at a crazy speed. Lucky for his owner, he slowed down a bit before reaching her and put his tongue out. He stopped before her pussy but wiggled until he made it close enough to lick her clit. The crowd went wild.

&nbs
p; “I so wanna do that!” I yelled as Bastian handed me another beer.

  “Let’s go then,” he said. “You wanna be the receiver or the runner?”

  “Are you kidding me?” I asked as I downed the beer, wincing as it burned in my throat. “You better catch me when I get there cause I’m gonna fucking fly down that thing.”

  “This I gotta see,” Pasha said as he went to the halfway mark and stood on the sidelines.

  Bastian went to the receiving end and stood in line to wait his turn. I did the same on the other side. Then it was our turn and I went as far from the slide as I could and ran full speed at it. Naked people to my left and right pumped fists in the air and cheered me on as my tits wobbled with each step of my sprint. Then I jumped and landed on my stomach, zipping across the thing much faster than anyone else had gone so far.

  Soapy water flew from my sides and into my face but I could see Bastian at the end waiting for me, his naked cock anxiously waiting my arrival. His strong chest and arms were outstretched, as if ready to hug me when I got there. People whizzed past me as I continued on at a tremendous speed. The look on Bastian’s face was pure worry as he realized I wasn’t slowing down much at all. I expected him to jump out of the way but he didn’t. He stayed his ground and then I was on him, scared to death I’d ram my head into his balls and destroy any chance I had at getting laid later on that night. But he caught me, scooping me up in his arms and falling onto his back. We both lay there laughing our asses off.

  I love this fucking Harvest Festival!

  Needing to wash the soap off, we made our way back to the dance area where Emery graciously sprayed my tits and pussy with his heavy stream of water. The amount of time spent near my clit was unnecessary but felt great so I didn’t complain. We drank more beer and went on dancing. The talent show came and went and so did the chili cook-off and some of the other organized events.

  The sun was beginning to set when the games began and thank God for that. I knew I’d have a hell of a sunburn the next morning. We were all ushered over to an open area of the field where Kendall waited with a microphone. The crowd circled up around her. Bastian stood behind me, holding me in his arms. I leaned back against his chest and enjoyed my buzz, loving how great it felt in his arms, in this neighborhood, at this moment.

  Kendall moved around the crowd with the mic, handing out blue pills again. Bastian took one and downed it with his beer.

  “You guys are gonna have a fucking heart attack one day,” I said.

  “We only take them at big events,” he replied, “When we play these kinds of games that require us to be hard for a while.”

  I didn’t need an explanation. I was only worried about him.

  “Are you guys having fun yet?!” Kendall yelled to the crowd.

  The roar of the crowd was deafening and I turned around to see way more people than I’d realized lived in E. Mayberry. There couldn’t have been more than a hundred houses, or at least I thought, and with about two people in each that would mean somewhere around two hundred people lived in the neighborhood, but again, that was a total guess and I’ve always sucked at that “guess how many jelly beans are in the jar” game. Still, it seemed every single person in the community had now made his or her way out to the field.

  “Then let’s play some games!” Kendall yelled. “First up, can I please get all pie eating contest volunteers to report to the stage?”

  Bastian led me over there and whispered, “You are going to fucking love this.”

  The sky had turned to an evening purplish blue and the stage was equipped with lighting that shone down on what looked like gynecologist examining room chairs.

  “Ladies, please take your positions,” Kendall said.

  I didn’t know what the position was but a girl I recognized from my birthday party grabbed my hand and led me on stage where I found a line of ten chairs. I sat down with my head on the headrest and put my feet in the stirrups. In front of each woman’s pussy was a plastic school-style chair and beyond that, the audience.

  I did what the other women did and adjusted my chair so I was leaned back and comfortable. My knees were wide open, exposing my pussy to the crowd. It was an uncomfortable situation to be in to say the least.

  “Gentlemen,” she said. “You’ve each been given a number, 1-10, and the ladies all have a number on their chairs, so please go sit at the chair, or pie, with your corresponding number.”

  Bastian walked past me and gave me a wink. He took the seat all the way on the other end of the stage. I couldn’t even see who the girl was lying back in her chair. I wasn’t familiar with the man who sat down in front of me. He wasn’t model-looking hot like some of the guys in the neighborhood, but he was a good looking man. He had great lips.

  My new friend raised her head and waved at her man.

  “Hey Rodge,” she said.

  She looked at my man and then leaned over as close as she could to me and said, “You have to be the luckiest fucking woman in Erotic Mayberry. Paul is the pie eating champion.”

  Apparently my pussy was the pie so hearing that he was a record holder brightened my evening.

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” Kendall said. “It’s about time for you fellas to get your grub on. For anyone who hasn’t been here the last five years, Paul is our resident champion with five consecutive wins. The man is quickly becoming a pie eating legend. And it looks like he’s getting a taste of Sunshine Pie this evening!”

  “Eat that pie!” a woman yelled.

  “Go easy on her, Paul!” yelled a man.

  “No, don’t!” came the voice of a woman.

  I liked her way of thinking.

  “No pie is complete without a little bit of whip cream,” Kendall said.

  Vivi walked down the row of women with a can of spray cream and circled each woman’s pussy with the stuff, burying us in white froth.

  “And some fudge,” Kendall said.

  Vivi walked down the line again with a bottle of chocolate syrup, squirting an “X” over each mound of cream.

  “And a cherry!” Kendall yelled.

  Vivi plopped one maraschino cherry onto each pie.

  “Men, hands behind your backs,” Kendall said. “When I blow the whistle, you eat with nothing but your mouths. The first one to lick their pie completely clean is the winner.”

  The crowd cheered.

  “And…go!” Kendall yelled into the microphone.

  Paul’s face dug into his pie with a ferocity I’d never experienced. I lifted my head and watched the master go to work, gulping down the cherry and munching up the chocolate syrup and cream. He hadn’t even touched my pussy yet but seeing him devoted to licking me was a fucking turn on and I felt myself getting wet beneath all my toppings.

  I wondered how far he’d take this. Would he actually eat my pussy or simply lick all the stuff off the top and back off?

  “To win this,” Kendall said, “You’re gonna have to really get in there. Any white cream showing means you’re not finished, so dive your tongue into her lips, lick that kitty, clean that clit…eat that fucking pie!”

  The crowd went nuts.

  Paul scooped up the cream with long swoops of his tongue and in no time at all, he’d licked me clean, but he didn’t stop there. With his hands secure behind his back, he licked my asshole, cleaning my toosh and swiping up through my pussy lips.

  “Oh shit!” I yelled.

  “Told you,” my friend said, “He’s…oh fucking hell!”

  Seemed she was enjoying having her pie eaten too.

  “Yes!” someone down the line yelled.

  Paul licked my inner thighs, cleaning them completely, then went across my bikini line, sliding down to circle my clit, cleaning the white cream out of every crevice and out from between my folds. He sucked my clit to make sure it was as clean as could be. My hands found his head and I couldn’t help pulling his face into my pussy. He was so fucking good.

  “Eat those pies!” Kendall yelled.
r />   “Done!” Paul yelled as he backed away from me and stood up with his hands raised.

  His cock was huge and solid. Reading this, you must think I’m crazy, that a woman can’t possibly be turned on all the time the way I am but I’m telling you, it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been fucked in a day, nothing prepares your pussy for seeing naked men with rock hard cocks all around you, especially when one was just eating whipped cream off your snatch. So, yes, I wanted him. But that wasn’t part of the rules. Paul remained the champion of the pie eating contest.

  It seemed most of the games we’d passed on the way in had been adapted to live Erotic Mayberry versions which meant some kind of naked debauchery was involved. Remember that game I mentioned earlier with the yellow ducks and the magnetic fishing pole, well you should have seen the E. Mayberry version. I was beyond horny by the time that one got started.