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Welcome to E. Mayberry

Page 30

by Chris Genovese


  Rule #16: Not mandatory, but Tuesdays will be considered Topless Tuesdays and any pet seen without a shirt (and bra for female pets) walking around the neighborhood will receive double punches on their participation cards. Pets with full participation cards will receive rewards by the HOA Management Committee. (submitted by Martina M.)

  Rule #17: Pole dancing classes have been added to the participation punch card program. Participation in classes will reward you a punch on your card. Participation in Wednesday morning classes result in a double punches. Remember, pets with a full participation card will be rewarded by the HOA Management Committee. (submitted by Suzanne M.)

  Rule #18: Mowing of front lawns must be done topless. This goes for male and female neighbors, owners and pets. (submitted by Suzanne M.)

  Rule #19: Pets who allow owners to bathe them outdoors will be rewarded double punches on their participation punch card. Remember, pets with a full participation card will be rewarded by the HOA Management Committee. (submitted by Darcey T.)

  Rule #20: Saturdays will now be known as 69 Saturdays. At least once that day, owners and pets must sixty-nine each other. Remember, routines establish trust. A sixty-nine per week is a great trust establisher. (submitted by Maureen G.)

  Rule #21: All homeowners are required to have some sort of open house at least once per month. This means at least one neighbor must be invited into your house for sexual playtime either with the owner, with the pet, or with both. Remember, the more the merrier. (submitted by Yavette H.)

  Rule #22: Pets must be petted daily. Not a single day should go by without sensual touching between an owner and his/her pet. Owners cannot expect pets to remain happy and loyal if they’re unwilling to spend time with them. (submitted by Jocqueline P.)

  Rule #23: Battery and sex toy machines must be filled and in working order at all times. This is the responsibility of management but has been placed here so we can all be held accountable. If you find a machine is not operable, please inform a member of management immediately. (submitted by Cindy G.)

  Rule #24: A schedule will be created and kept at the community center that will establish which home will be responsible for the quarterly neighborhood orgy. All owners must comply with the scheduled date and time. When hosting an orgy, owners are required to provide food, drinks, and party game materials. (submitted by Vivetia A.)

  Rule #25: Pets must maintain physical contact with owners at all times when out in public. The only exception to this rule is during organized games or events and partner swaps. (submitted by Deb. C.)

  Rule #26: Talk of what goes on inside Erotic Mayberry is strictly forbidden once outside the neighborhood security gate. (submitted by Chris G.)

  Rule #27: A pet shall never walk out of the bedroom on an owner when asked to participate in a sexual act. A pet may voice his/her complaints or concerns and may refrain from the activity at hand, but may never leave the room angry. In other words, no one can be forced but failure to participate is frowned upon. If you feel the need to back out of an activity, do it professionally and not out of anger. (submitted by Chris G.)

  Rule #28: If you see people having sex in the open you have to stop and touch yourself. (submitted by Martina M.)

  Rule #29: If you leave your door unlocked, your neighbors are free to come in and watch. Owners and pets are encouraged to leave their front doors unlocked at all times. (submitted by Faith G.)

  Rule #30: At the end of the year Harvest Festival, all pets must participate in the final drawing and all owners must participate in the closing ceremony. (submitted by Chris G.)

  Rule #31: Asking to borrow brown sugar is code for “I want to fuck you.” This is helpful for owners and pets who are uneasy or uncomfortable with verbal encounters. Simply ask for a cup of brown sugar and it will be understood that you are horny and wish to be fucked. (submitted by Jocqueline P.)

  Rule #32: Not mandatory, but owners are encouraged to swap pets at least once a week. (submitted by Tracey P.)

  Rule #33: When a pet is being reprimanded (punished), they are not to look any other owners or pets in the eye unless authorized by their owner. (submitted by Liz A.)

  Rule #34: All owners are authorized to visit daily yoga sessions (and new pet orientation training) and correct postures/positions at any time. Owners often have a lot of tips and experiences to share with neighborhood pets. (submitted by Donna M.)

  Rule #35: Children are not allowed inside Erotic Mayberry. Special necklaces have been provided to each pet (and patches to owners) to prevent pregnancy. As much as we love children, our neighborhood is not a child-friendly environment. (submitted by Chris G.)

  Rule #36: When owners are involved in neighborhood book club activities or required reading, any pet who disturbs them while reading will not be allowed to come or experience oral sex until said owner has finished the book/activity assigned. (submitted by Chrisstine P.)

  Rule #37: Safe words will always be respected. Whether an owner or a pet, trust shall never be violated. (submitted by Anne L.)

  Rule #38: If a dominant owner requests this (not mandatory in homes where it is not enforced), pets must wait for owners in the SUB position when the owner gets home, to show they are prepared to play. (submitted by Anne. L.)

  Rule #39: If you are caught masturbating, you are to give head to/go down on whoever catches you and you get nothing in return. (submitted by Amber E.)

  Rule #40: All TV channels above 200 are reserved for homeowner live bedroom feeds. The channel number corresponds to the home’s address. All owners will have cameras installed during the building of their home. In the effort of allowing owners (and pets) to have some privacy, the cameras will only activate when the TV is turned to a channel above 200. The idea is if you want to watch, you should also allow yourself to be watched. (submitted by Chris G.)

  Rule #41: No pet is allowed to come without permission. Orgasms are by permission only. (submitted by Toi A.)

  Rule #42: Every full moon the president of the HOA will hold a themed party at her/his house. Everyone must attend. (submitted by Teresa B.)

  Rule #43: If you are caught spying on someone while they have sex, you must come and join. (submitted by Amber E.)

  Rule #44: When greeting friends, a slip of the tongue is a totally acceptable greeting. A kiss on the cheek is only acceptable when feeling under the weather. (submitted by Cate H.)

  Rule #45: An excessive amount of rule violations will result in punishment to be carried out in public. Means of punishment will be determined by HOA Management Committee. (submitted by Marcy B.)

  Rule #46: No Erotic Mayberry neighbor shall have sexual relations with a non-neighbor. We keep a clean and respectable environment which cannot be soiled by outsiders. If in pursuit of a new pet and it is found necessary, proceed with caution. Once inside the gate, all new pets will visit the neighborhood doctor and will go through a series of medical exams to ensure no sexually transmitted diseases have been brought into Erotic Mayberry. (submitted by Martina M. and Edeth C.)

 

 

 


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