Sing Like Nobody's Listening

by S. J. McCoy

  He laughed. “Yeah, you do. If I go home and tell my lady that I saw you leaving and didn't do anything about it, she's not going to be happy with me. I hate it when she's not happy, so you have to help me, don't you see?”

  Kenzie rolled her eyes but couldn't hold back a smile. “You really mean that, don't you?”

  Smoke nodded solemnly. “I do, but even apart from that, I think you need to jump in and talk to me. If you still want to leave when we're done, I'll take you anywhere you want to go.”

  She stopped walking and stared at him. “You just signed up to take me anywhere I want to go?”

  He grinned. “You just signed up to tell me all about it.”

  “Yeah, but that's not going to change anything.”

  “It might.”

  “What makes you think you can say anything that's going to make me stay?”

  He smiled at her through pursed lips. “Because I understand. I learned the hard way myself. Come on, get in. Let's go find some coffee and talk—one runner to another.”

  She reluctantly swung her backpack off her shoulder and climbed up into the truck. She was tired of walking anyway. She'd let Smoke try to talk her out of it, then get him to give her a ride to the next town. She'd catch the bus when it came in there.

  They drove in silence until they reached the airport.

  Smoke cut the engine and grinned at her. “I can't think of any place that would be open at this hour, but the coffee machine in here makes a great cappuccino.”

  He swiped his pass and held the door for her. “So where are you headed?” he asked once they were seated in the break room with their coffees.

  “I figured I'd go back to LA.”

  “What did he do?”

  She stared out of the window for a while before answering. “Slept with some groupie.” It sounded ridiculous as soon as she said it.

  Smoke laughed. “Sorry, Kenzie but I'm not buying it.”

  That made her angry. “What do you know? It's what he does. I was stupid to think he'd give it up just because he met me.”

  Smoke shook his head. “It's what he used to do. He did give it up when he met you because he loves you. Even I can see that. And the reason I know is because he's just like me. I'm no saint. I lived the same way Chase did, until Laura, but everything changed when I met her. I knew it was the same deal with you two the day we came to Nashville.”

  Kenzie sipped her coffee.

  “I knew that you're just like me, too. You're a runner. I had a feeling the day would come when you'd take off. That's why I told you that day, any time you needed I'd be here for you. I tried to run from Laura, but I was just being a coward.” He smiled and added, “A big fucking coward, as a matter of fact. I was lucky Ben and my folks talked me down. I've had the feeling all along you might need someone to talk you down some day. I'm glad I can.”

  “You tried to run from Laura? But the two of you are perfect for each other.”

  His smile said he knew it. “Like I said. I'm a runner. I thought she didn't trust me, and I couldn't live with that, so I did what I always had and ran.” He held her gaze. “Sound familiar?”

  She nodded.

  “You really think he slept with some chick?”

  She shook her head slowly. “No. I don't. I can't believe he would. But everything made it look like he had and...”

  “And you've been looking and waiting for it all to go to shit, right? Whatever happened tonight looked like it was all hitting the fan just like you've been expecting it to?”

  “I guess.”

  “Well, my guess is that nothing happened. Nothing other than you finding a way to confirm your fears and get out before you get hurt.”

  She shook her head. “You're wrong there. This hurts like hell.”

  “What hurts most though, Kenzie? The thought of what he might have done or the thought of facing the rest of your life without him?”

  She felt her heart race. She couldn't stand the thought of never seeing him again. Facing the rest of her life without him? No!

  Smoke gave her a grim little smile. “That was the conclusion I reached. I couldn't live without her, so I had to get over myself, get over my shit, and make it work.”

  “How can I do that if he's going to keep sleeping with other people though?”

  “I'd put money on the fact that he hasn't, he wouldn't, and he never will again if you give him the chance.”

  “But you don't know.”

  “Neither do you. Don't you think you owe it to yourself as well as him, to at least find out the truth before you run? I could have saved a lot of heartache if I'd had the balls to do that.” He raised an eyebrow. “You strike me as having balls of steel.”

  She had to smile, she took that as a compliment.

  Smoke smiled back. “So why not talk to him? Give him the chance to explain himself before you go.”

  He was right. If she did have to face the rest of her life without Chase, she needed to know that she was doing it for a good reason. She had to go back, get him to look her in the eye and tell her the truth. Deep down though, she already knew that there would be some explanation. Smoke was right, she had been looking for a way to confirm her fears. She'd been expecting the worst all along.

  “What do you think? Do you want to head back?”

  She nodded. It was time to face the fear, not let it dictate the rest of her life.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Chase opened his eyes, then closed them again as last night came back to him. The green-eyed monster had won last night's battle and he needed to get a grip. If Kenzie had been pissed with him in the bar last night, he hated to think what she'd say when she found out what he'd done later. She wasn't happy with him when they got home and for the first time, they'd gone to bed without speaking. That wasn't right. He turned over and reached for her. He needed to admit to what he'd done, tell her he was sorry and get this sorted out. He knew they could get past all of this, knew he needed to keep his jealousy in check. But the only way they would do it would be by working together, talking it out.

  The other side of the bed was cold. She wasn't there. She must still be pretty mad at him if she was up this early. He got up and pulled on some sweatpants. His heart stopped when he went into the bathroom. His shirt was lying on the floor, and there was a keycard from the resort sitting on top of it. He knew he hadn't left his shirt here. Kenzie must have. He took the stairs two at a time on the way down.

  “Kenzie?” Even as he called her name, he knew in his gut she wasn't there. She'd gone. What must she be thinking if she'd gone through his shirt and found that key? Why hadn't he given it straight back to the girl who slipped it in there? He hadn't thought anything of it at the time. He was in so much of a hurry to get to Kenzie. It had been easier to ignore the card and just keep moving than to stick around and argue with the girl while he gave it back to her. Damn.

  He looked around the kitchen. There was no sign of her. He ran back upstairs. Her makeup bag was gone from the nightstand. Checking her room, he saw that her backpack was gone too. He sat down on her bed and covered his face with his hands. Oh shit! He'd spent so much time trying to get her to trust him enough to stay. Now with one simple screw up, he'd blown it. He'd thought she would go ape at him when he told her why he'd been up at the lodge for so long last night. But that was nothing compared to this. He'd felt bad about getting into it with the asshole who'd been ogling her at the bar all night. But now, now she must be thinking he'd been up to some girl's room!

  He shook his head slowly. What a mess. He went to get his cell phone from his nightstand—even though he was pretty sure she wasn't going to pick up when he called her. He saw a truck pulling up outside and went to the window. He could make out two people inside, but not who they were. His heart started to pound as the woman in the passenger seat leaned over and the driver hugged her. Was it her? He got his answer as she climbed down from the truck. She was back? As sh
e walked around the truck, the driver's window rolled down and she turned back to smile at the guy driving. What the fuck? Smoke was smiling at her, and she was smiling right back at him. Smoke said something and they both laughed. Then the truck pulled away and Kenzie opened the front gate and came up the path.

  Chase couldn't process it. Kenzie and Smoke? Because she'd found that keycard in his pocket, she'd gone off with Smoke? And he was dropping her back here at eight in the morning? Where had they been? What had they been doing? He hated to think! She was opening the front door. He went to the top of the stairs. She looked....what? Ashamed of herself? Why? Had she been with Smoke as some sort of revenge for what she thought he'd done? And he'd been worried about having gotten into a fight with a guy?

  “Hey.” She looked up the stairs at him. “I think we need to talk.”

  “Where have you been?” He knew it sounded like an accusation, but he couldn't help it.

  She gave him the stony glare, but then visibly calmed herself before she replied. “That's what we need to talk about.”

  His heart sank. She was going to admit what she'd done? “With Smoke? I thought Laura was your friend!”

  She looked confused for a moment then his meaning hit her. Any trace of the soft, sweet girl left her face and her voice. “Seriously? That's what you think? That just because you went and screwed some little bitch at the resort, I would go out and sleep with my friend's fiancé? You honestly think that's who I am? Well, fuck you, Chase.”

  He ran down the stairs to stand in front of her. “Because I did what? I didn't sleep with anyone! It's you that doesn't know me if you think that. You went through my pockets to check up on me. All I had to do was look out the window to see you and Smoke all over each other in his truck!”

  She looked as if she might explode. “A girl at the bar told me her friend gave you her room key and that you'd gone up there. And I was not all over Smoke! I gave him a hug to thank him. He talked me into coming back here. Told me, no matter how it looked, you wouldn't have slept with someone else. Told me I needed to talk to you before I left. Now I'm wondering why I bothered.” She turned back toward the front door.

  Chase took a deep breath. He couldn't let her leave. They both needed to calm down and talk. He put a hand on her shoulder. “Please don't go.”

  She froze but didn't turn around. “Why not?”

  He stepped closer and lowered his lips to her ear as he closed his arms around her. “Because I love you and we need to work this out.”

  Now she did turn around. Her face still looked guarded, but not hard. He backed her against the front door. Trapping her there, partly so she wouldn't take off and leave, and partly because he just needed to feel her body pressed against him.

  “Do you think we can work it out, Chase? Or will it always be like this?”

  He shook his head. “This is just the beginning. We're bound to hit snags along the way. It's only natural, and we'll probably hit more snags than most. You said neither of us is cut out for anything long-term. I say we are. We've just got more to learn, because of the way we used to live. I need you to believe that I don't want to live that way anymore, though. I only want you. And I want you forever.”

  Her expression softened slightly. “So what happened last night?”

  Admitting what he had done seemed like nothing compared to what she'd been thinking. “When I went up to the lodge I ran into that guy from the bar. The one with the big mouth.”

  “And?”

  “And I needed to set him straight.”

  She pursed her lips, but to his relief didn't ask him to elaborate.

  “What about the girl?”

  “There was no girl. Well, there were a couple of them when we got done. You know what they're like, hanging around. One of them slipped her key in my pocket. I just wanted to get to you, so I ignored it. It was easier than sticking around until she took no for an answer. You know how that goes.”

  She held his gaze for a long moment. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, but she was obviously weighing it all up.

  “I need you to trust me, Kenzie.”

  She let out a bitter little laugh. “What, just like you trust me? You seriously thought I'd been with Smoke?”

  He shook his head. “That was dumb of me. I'd just woken up. I was already in a panic when I saw my shirt and the room key and realized you were gone. I get jealous, okay? I know it's dumb. I can stop it when I have a minute to calm down, but I love you. I can't believe you're all mine. So when I see something that might threaten what we have, I get jealous. I'm sorry. But it's only because I love you.”

  She held his gaze and he knew that his whole future was in the balance as she considered his words. “What can we do to change it though, Chase?”

  He studied her face. He knew what he wanted to do, but he wasn't sure she'd go for it. It was so far removed from what had been the norm for either of them in the past. “It will change for me when I know you're all mine. It will change for you when you know that I see you as good enough in every way.”

  She shrugged. “And how do we make that happen?”

  “Only one way I can think of.” His heart was hammering in his chest, but he knew he had to go for it. It was what he wanted and he didn't see any point in waiting. He held her closer and looked down into her eyes.

  “What way is that?” She looked scared as if she knew what he was about to say and was going to say no.

  “Marry me.”

  Her eyes shone with tears. “I can't do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “I....I don't know.”

  “Don't you want to?”

  She gazed up at him. “Yes, I do.”

  He smiled as the relief swept through him. “So there's no reason in the world that you can't. I love you. I know you love me. I want to be with you always.”

  “But you're not the marrying kind and neither am I.”

  “I told you before and I'll tell you again. Your life doesn't have to follow the pattern it always has. You can change whatever you want, whenever you want. I've changed since I met you. You've changed since you met me. We both know what we want, so let's make it happen.” He realized that in a perfect world, he wouldn't have asked her this way. He would have set up something better, something memorable. He got down on one knee and smiled up at her. “Kenzie Reid, will you marry me?”

  A huge smile spread across her face. “Yes, Chase. Yes I will.” She dropped down to her knees to join him on the floor.

  Her hands came up to tangle in his hair when he nipped her bottom lip. He curled an arm around her waist and laid her down. They slowly peeled the clothes off each other and he rolled on top of her. “I love you, Kenzie.” He held her gaze as he entered her.

  “I love you, Chase,” she gasped as she began to move with him.

  He'd slept with a lot of women in his time. He knew she'd been with a lot of guys, too. But lying there, on the floor in the hallway, her narrow hips pinned under his own, he vowed in his head that neither of them would ever sleep with anyone else for the rest of their lives. He took a handful of her hair and pulled her head back so she was looking into his eyes. “Do you want it, lover?”

  Her eyes glazed as she started to tense. “Yes!”

  “I mean forever.”

  She stilled for a moment and held his gaze. “I want you forever. I want the happily ever after I thought I'd never find. I want you to think I'm good enough to marry.”

  “Oh Kenzie, I do.”

  She smiled. “You keep practicing those two words then.” She closed her hands around his ass and urged him on.

  He thrust deep and let go. “I do,” he cried.

  “I do, Chase,” she gasped as he took her with him.

  ~ ~ ~

  Kenzie stared out at the lake. She couldn't stop smiling. She hadn't thought she was the kind to ever get married, but Chase was right. She could change the pattern she'd always lived. S
o could he. They'd found something more, something better—together.

  She was sitting out here waiting for everyone to arrive. Usually this was a girls’ lunch, but Chase had wanted to get the whole gang together so they could share their news. He'd been so apologetic about asking her to marry him before he'd planned any special way to do it. She didn't care though. It meant more to her that he'd done it at that moment because he wanted to so badly. He'd run her a bath and told her to relax while he ran some errands. When he'd returned, he brought champagne and roses. He'd poured two glasses while she still sat in the tub. Then he'd presented her with a ring. He was so sweet. It was from the gift store at the resort, and he kept apologizing that he hadn't gone out and got a real engagement ring before he asked her. She didn't care though. The jewelry in the gift store was all made by local artists. The ring he'd chosen was a fine silver band, set with a beautiful turquoise. It was handmade by a lady who'd named her line, One-of-a-Kind Creations. How could anything be more perfect than that?

  She looked down at the ring now as it sparkled in the afternoon sun. He'd said he'd take her into the city so she could choose whatever she wanted, that this was just something she could wear for now. She already knew she'd wear it forever though. It was beautiful and it meant more to her than any diamond ever would. It was as if the ring proved him right. What she had thought was a one-night stand really had turned into a one-of-a-kind kind of thing.

  She looked up to see him making his way across the deck. Ethan was trotting along by his side and Michael and Megan were following. She felt the panic start to rise when she registered that Chase was carrying his guitar and Ethan was grinning at her, looking very pleased with himself. Surely they weren't expecting her to sing? Not here. Not now.

  Chase came and planted a kiss on her lips then Ethan pushed him aside so he could hug her. “Hey, Auntie Kenzie. Didn't I tell you, you two would get married and have babies?”

  She laughed. “Will you settle for being half right? I'm not really into babies.”