Let It Snow...

by Leslie Kelly

  * * *

  TRUDIE DIDN’T KNOW how she felt. If someone were to peer through the window, things would look the same as they had for years—she and Knox chatting and sharing a meal. Yet, everything was different. Who was he? Who was she? What did she want?

  “Did you bring the tree?” she asked.

  It was an artificial tree. As children, she and Knox had made salt dough ornaments for it. They’d sat at Mormor’s kitchen table and cut shapes with cookie cutters and afterwards painted them with craft paint. Every year, when they came to Chrismoose, they set up the tree on the first night of their arrival so they could enjoy it the entire time they were in Good Riddance.

  Knox offered a quick nod. “It’s in the truck.”

  She inwardly heaved a sigh of relief. If he had let the tree and those ornaments go in the estate sale or donated them to a charity, she would’ve lost it with him. “I could help you set it up...or would you rather do it when I’m not here?”

  “Let’s do it together,” he said.

  She knew what he meant but she couldn’t seem to stop her mind from spinning the image to the two of them doing it together. The taste of his kisses, the stroke of his tongue, the heat of his hands against her skin, teasing, caressing, exploring... Heat rose in her face and she hoped Knox was oblivious to her reaction. Rather than look at him, she focused her attention on Jessup stretched out by the stove. “Do you need some help getting it in?” Whoa...wait...that sounded so wrong... “I mean from the truck to the cabin, or do you want me to babysit Jessup?”

  “You keep warm with Muttzilla. I’ll get it.”

  Knox pushed to his feet and shrugged back into his jacket. Frigid air blasted the cabin when he opened the door. Within minutes he was back, wrestling the oblong box and a smaller rectangular one through the door then closing it with his booted foot.

  Trudie laughed and Knox grimaced. “Glad I can amuse you.”

  “Me too,” she shot back, laughing harder, and then he was laughing, too, and she wasn’t even sure what was so funny but it was and that was the way it used to be—one of them would get tickled and then the other one would start laughing and neither of them could particularly remember why.

  Now their laughter trailed off and awareness blossomed between them. Trudie’s breath caught in her throat and her heartbeat quickened as she lost herself in the depths of his eyes, in the shared moment, in simply being with him again.

  Jessup nudged her knee with his nose and she looked away from Knox. “So...Jessup’s ready to put up the tree.” Her voice came out husky.

  “Well, we want Jessup to be happy so let’s get to it.” Knox laughed, pulled out his pocketknife and cut through the tape that held the tree box together.

  It wasn’t until she hit her early twenties that the irony of Mormor’s Christmas tree hit Trudie. They lived in a land of evergreens, yet Mormor’s tree of choice was artificial white tinsel.

  “Want to make some hot chocolate while I get the lights on?” Knox said. It was traditionally what they did. Mormor and Trudie would make hot cocoa while Knox set the tree up and strung the lights.

  “Sure. I can do that.”

  Trudie rummaged around in the kitchen, which was hauntingly familiar even though she hadn’t set foot inside it for nearly two years. While the water boiled she pulled out the envelopes of cocoa mix and dumped them in mugs. The steaming cups were ready just as he finished assembling the tree and stringing the lights, which was pretty much the way they’d always done it.

  Trudie passed Knox his drink. His fingers brushed against hers in the exchange and a shiver coursed through her, derailing her. She’d never shivered like that when Jeremy Lyons’s fingers merely glanced against hers. Heck, they’d shared a kiss or two that hadn’t left her with even a quiver...unfortunately.

  Lucky her. It had to be Knox, here with his Ms. Snow Queen girlfriend. Knox who had walked away from their friendship and subsequently broken her heart. Wasn’t that just grand and then some?

  “Delicious,” he said after a cautious sip. It was hot. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome,” she said. It was impossible for her to stay angry with him. He was simply too dear to her and she’d missed him too much and she didn’t know when they’d have time like this together again. She refused to squander it.

  Trudie tweaked a couple of the white tinsel branches, positioning them more advantageously. “Okay. Ready for the decorations?”

  Jessup sat with his head resting on his paws, watching, as they hung the ornaments they’d fashioned as children.

  While the whole process could have had a melancholy feel about it, it was simply nice. Rather than being sad because Mormor wasn’t here, Trudie found the memories comforting.

  Then they did what they’d always done. They turned out all of the lights except for the ones on the tree and settled next to each other on the couch.

  There was something mesmerizing, relaxing, about the twinkling lights, the taste of hot cocoa, the scent and crackle of wood burning, and most of all the solidness and warmth of Knox next to her. Her eyes and body grew heavier. She lowered her guard enough to settle against his side. The steadiness of his heartbeat was beneath her shoulder, his breath stirred against the edge of her hair. She rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. He smelled faintly of antiseptic and leather and wood smoke.

  She should get up and leave. She should have him take her back to town to pick up her vehicle or at least to her own cabin down the way. She would. She’d insist...in a few minutes. She just wanted a little more time with him, like this. She wanted to close her eyes and pretend...for just a bit longer...that he was hers.

  “Trudie?”

  “Um?”

  “This is nice.”

  He wrapped his arm around her and something inside her melted. It was as if her heart had been frozen since that night they’d parted ways at sunset. She snuggled deeper into his embrace. His muscles bunched against her side. His scent, familiar and particular to him, crept around her.

  The fire crackled in the stove and the tattoo of his heart beat against her ear. In the far distance the hum of snowmobiles paired with the high-pitched barking of a team of sled dogs.

  A delicious, languid heat stole through her. She felt like a tightly closed bud unfurling in warmth and light.

  His arm tightened around her and she glanced at him in inquiry. Everything shifted between them though neither actually moved. His breath, warm and fragrant with chocolate, teased against her hair and her temple.

  He leaned down slightly and she angled her face, her lips parting slightly, hungry, eager for his kiss. Confusion, desire warred within his blue eyes. She saw it, felt it—he wanted her. His lips were a fraction of an inch from hers when the thought of Elsa inserted itself between them.

  No! She couldn’t do this. She shifted her mouth out of range of his. “It’s time for me to leave.”

  4

  WELL, THAT HAD damn near been a very stupid move on his part. Knox sat up straight, removing his arm from her shoulder. Undoubtedly, undisputedly, kissing Trudie would’ve been a mistake. Wouldn’t it?

  She stood, hesitating. “I need to use your bathroom before we leave.”

  “Sure. No problem.”

  She crossed the floor, closing the door behind her.

  Of course, it would’ve been a mistake. He’d thought the sexual tension, the awareness, had been shared. Uh, apparently not. He’d only almost kissed her and she’d reacted like a scalded cat.

  He pulled on his jacket and readied hers. He suddenly couldn’t wait to get her out of here—to get away from her. She was screwing with his comfort level. She left him squirming, feeling uncertain, unsettled. So, yeah, she was right—it was time for her to go.

  The toilet flushed and a few minutes later she exited the bathroom. “Here ya go,” he said, holding up her jacket.

  He had planned to hold it for her while she put it on. She took it from him instead and shrugged into it herself. That w
as fine. Message received.

  “Ready?” he said.

  “Sure.”

  Jessup, tuned in to what was going on around him, trotted over to the front door and stood waiting. Knox opened the door and cold air rushed in. The three of them stepped out into the late-afternoon dark. “Your cabin?” he asked.

  The cabin Trudie and her folks stayed in was maybe a half mile as the crow flew and about a mile by road.

  “I need to pick up my car and it’s in Good Riddance,” she said, as she opened the truck door and waited on Jessup to hop in ahead of her.

  Knox started the trip back to Good Riddance. Silence, uncomfortable and awkward, stretched between them. He glanced over at Trudie. She was staring out the window.

  He should’ve just kissed her. How much more awkward could it be than this? And at least he’d have satisfied the need to taste her, to sample the plush fullness of her lower lip. What was the worst thing that could happen if he kissed her?

  What the hell? He stopped the truck and threw it into park.

  Trudie whipped her head around. “What—?”

  Jessup’s bulk was between them, but he grasped the nape of her neck and pulled her to him, leaning in toward her. He claimed Trudie’s mouth.

  Sweet...hot...heady. After a moment of hesitant surprise, her lips molded and melded to his. They were even softer than he thought they would be. Sighing into his mouth, she wound her fingers into his hair. He delved into the moist recess with his tongue, deeper, harder. Trudie leaned into him, tangling her tongue with his. A blue flame of heat flashed through him.

  Trudie moaned low in the back of her throat and the sound reverberated through his mouth...and shot straight to his dick. He wanted...needed...closer.

  Something butted him. Again. Jessup.

  He released her. Their ragged breathing—hers and his, not the dog’s—filled the cab. The windows had fogged over.

  Trudie retreated to her side. Knox shifted to find a more comfortable position for his suddenly very tight pants.

  “Why did you do that?” she asked.

  He straightened, put the truck in gear, and resumed driving as much to forestall the temptation to kiss her again as to get to Good Riddance. “Because things were so awkward between us. And now we know.”

  “What is it we know other than you had no right to do that?”

  “We know how good it is.” It was devastatingly good.

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t do that again.”

  “Okay.” It would happen again, but next time it would be her move. For as eager as he’d been to get rid of her ten minutes ago, now he didn’t want her to leave. He didn’t know when he would see her again and he wasn’t sure exactly where she fit into his life anymore, but he didn’t want her out of his life the way she had been.

  “I’m heading out to the bison ranch tomorrow just for a quick visit to check out their operation and meet the resident vet. Want to tag along? It should be interesting and when we get back we could look for some of your greenery or whatever you’re going to need.”

  Silence stretched between them. Finally she spoke. “Is Elsa coming along?”

  “No. Elsa’s busy with Chrismoose stuff.” Plus, he hadn’t asked her.

  “What time are you heading out? You driving or flying?”

  “Given all the snow on the roads and time constraints, I’m flying. Dalton’s taking me out around nine.”

  Dalton Saunders and Juliette Sorenson were the bush pilots running flights out of Good Riddance. Knox would’ve been fine with either one. Both had gotten married since the last time he’d been here. Dalton had married the local doctor while Juliette had wound up with a construction guy. The Sisnukett cousins, Clint and Nelson, were also both hitched. Gus and Teddy had both married and left. Damn, even Merrilee and Bull had tied the knot. Elsa had started making marriage noises and that’s when Knox had figured it was time for him to be making exit noises.

  “You taking Jessup?” Trudie said, worrying her lower lip in consideration.

  “Yep. He’d be miserable otherwise. He still goes to the office with me every day.” Jessup loved to be in the thick of things but he was also well-mannered so taking him along was never a problem.

  “I have to work—”

  “I said I’d help you, woman.” He suddenly really, really wanted her to come with him. It was as if he was trying to catch up on missed time while they were both in the same place and they had the familiarity of Good Riddance and Chrismoose knitting them together. Who knew what would happen when they returned to Anchorage. He wanted to be with her while he could. Well, and there was that awesomely explosive kiss. “Come with me. Please.”

  He saw the capitulation in her eyes even before she nodded her head and opened her mouth. “Okay. What time? Where?”

  Tomorrow was now something to anticipate. “I’ll meet you at the airstrip at eight forty-five. Or I can swing by and pick you up at your place.”

  He pulled into the parking lot and angled his truck behind her little Suzuki SUV.

  “No,” she said. “I’ll meet you at the airstrip.”

  “Okay, then.” She reached for the door handle. Her vehicle was squeezed into a spot on the other side of Gus’s. “Thanks for helping put up the tree.”

  “Right. Thanks for the burger and beer.”

  “No problem.”

  She hesitated, her hand still on the door latch. Oh boy, she had something to say and she was working herself up to spitting it out. Knox steeled himself because chances were he wasn’t going to want to hear it. Trudie had never been one for mincing words.

  “I know we already covered it, but I just want to make sure.... Don’t kiss me again,” she said, staring straight ahead, out the windshield at the snow, which had started to pepper down. Her words had a clipped edge.

  She looked at him and a measure of desperation gleamed in her eyes.

  “No problem.” He’d always been tuned in to Trudie in a way he wasn’t tuned in to anyone else. Animals and Trudie he felt most comfortable with. Trudie had wanted that kiss as much as he had...but, next time she’d kiss him. “That request would carry a little more weight if you hadn’t kissed me back so enthusiastically, but okay.”

  “You’re delusional.” She tilted her little nose into the air.

  “Like hell.” He expected more of her. She wasn’t like other women and he supposed he held her to a different standard—one that didn’t cover this bullshit. “You wanted me to kiss you, but okay, we’ll play this your way. You’re right. You were just the innocent party sitting there all snuggled up next to me on the couch, and when you looked up at me you weren’t inviting me to kiss you. And you didn’t enjoy that kiss here in the truck at all. Okey dokey, if that’s the way you want to remember it.”

  “You’re not nice anymore.”

  “Then don’t come with me tomorrow if I’m so not nice,” he said, throwing out the challenge.

  “I don’t know you anymore.”

  “Then get to know me again.”

  She opened the door and cold rushed in, carrying a miniature snow flurry on a gust of wind.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she said as she climbed out.

  It was a start.

  * * *

  TRUDIE HESITATED as Knox threw his truck in reverse and backed out of the parking lot. She’d done the right thing telling him they weren’t going down that road again. Really, it was best that way...even if her body still felt like it was on fire from that one kiss. She’d known it was wrong, he was involved with Elsa, and dangerous, as evidenced by how miserable she’d been the last year and a half. However, she hadn’t had the willpower to resist his touch, the feel of his lips.

  Speak, or think, rather, of the devil... Elsa materialized out of nowhere.

  “Hello, Gertrude.”

  Trudie loathed her full name, but with guilt gnawing at her over that kiss, she let it slide. “Hi, Elsa.”

  “It’s been a long tim
e.” Elsa, resplendent in a white fur-trimmed hat and coat, tilted her head to one side. “I almost didn’t recognize you with that cute haircut.”

  And what the heck did someone say to that? There was something faintly insulting about the term cute when it was wielded by a tall, elegant blonde.

  “It’s me.” A lame response but she really didn’t have anything to say to Elsa and Trudie wasn’t very good at making chitchat, especially with someone she didn’t like.

  “How’s the...what is it...oh, yes, the flower shop business?”

  “No complaints. How’s the fashion business?” Elsa owned a trendy boutique in Anchorage and a secondary business that catered to pageants.

  “Busy, busy, busy. You should stop by some time and let us give you a wardrobe makeover.” Trudie knew Elsa meant the suggestion as a criticism, as in Trudie needed to dress more fashionably.

  “Maybe I will. Sometime.” Right around when hell froze over.

  “Have you been to the new spa in town? It’s fabulous. You should give it a try.”

  Elsa was brimming with what Trudie should do. And it wasn’t as if Elsa had cornered the market on all things feminine. Trudie nodded. “I love Jenna’s place. If you haven’t had a massage from Ellie Sisnukett, you’re in for a treat.”

  “I had a facial. You should definitely have one.”

  Enough. If Elsa told Trudie one more time what she should do, Trudie was probably going to scream...and screaming would be bad. She’d been civil but now she was done. “Okay, well, see you around.”

  Elsa either wasn’t catching the hint or didn’t care. She kept chatting. “So, this must be like old home week with Knoxie.”

  Knoxie? Elsa, a grown woman, had just referred to an adult male as Knoxie? She was letting Trudie know that she knew that Trudie and Knox had been in Gus’s and left together...and she was reminding Trudie that she had been calling the shots for the last couple of years and had kept Trudie and Knox apart. There was a whole lot that was said, yet unspoken, in that one statement.

  Trudie didn’t like Elsa any better now than she had before and she had no intention of discussing “Knoxie” with the woman.