by A. T Brennan
Kevin, Brad, Chad and Ethan came solo, since all four were single and all about playing the field, and blended in right away.
I’d been a little apprehensive that things might be strained since our groups were so different, but I’d been worried for nothing.
Within half an hour Kev and Chad were playing beer pong with Jay and Paige, and Ethan was in the middle of a very animated conversation about Starcraft with Matt while Jax, Avery and Brad were involved in a pretty intense game of Go Fish.
“Brewsky?” Logan sat next to me on the couch and handed me a beer.
“Brewsky? Are we in an eighties frat movie?” I grinned and took the beer. “Thanks.”
“I thought that’s how all you sports dudes talked?”
“Not in real life.”
“Live and learn.” He shrugged and took a long drink of his beer.
My eyes were drawn to his adam’s apple as it bobbed while he swallowed, and when he licked his lips I had to force myself to look down at my beer.
“So, our first party. Seems like a success.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and took a pull of my drink. “It’s still early though.”
“You expecting a disaster?” He smirked.
“You never know.”
“You really are a ray of sunshine, aren’t you?”
His voice was teasing and when I looked over at him he was grinning.
“These guys are cool, but some of the guys on the team can get a little...intense.”
“Like the guys in eighties sports movies?”
“More like nineties frat boy movies.”
“Yikes. Let’s keep them out of the apartment. I kind of like living here.” He nudged me with his elbow and another one of those annoying flushes rushed through me.
“Deal.”
“Come on. I think we need to play a game.”
“Like what?” I asked as I stood.
“I wasn’t going to break this out during our first party, but I think it’s warranted.” He headed to the linen closet and I followed him, curious.
“Here we go. An old favorite of mine.” He pulled a game out of the closet and showed it to me.
“Shot glass checkers?” I couldn’t help laughing.
“It’s the best of both worlds—shots and checkers.”
“Why not chess?”
“Because I get stupid when I drink and this is a simpler game.” He winked and nodded to the dining room table. “We’ll set it up with beer instead of hard liquor. I’d rather not pass out at my own party.”
“You a lightweight?” I teased as I grabbed two more beers and followed him.
“No, but I’m shit at pacing myself.”
I laughed and waited as he set up the game and then filled the shot glasses with beer. When he was ready he nodded to the table and we sat.
“Your move.”
I pushed one of the glasses forward and looked up.
“So, you seem a bit off,” he commented as he moved his shot glass.
“What?” He’d noticed? I guess I wasn’t as smooth as I’d thought.
“Look, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
“What? You? No, not at all.”
“I know I can come on a bit strong and sometimes my humor is a bit off—”
“Logan, really. You’re not doing anything. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Are you sure? If I do—”
“Trust me. It takes a lot to get to me, or offend me. I’m a pretty chill guy.”
“Okay.” He paused as I moved one of my glasses. “If you ever need to talk to someone, I’m a good listener.”
“Thanks.”
He moved one of his glasses and I mentally admonished myself. I really had to chill out and stop projecting. Just because I was going through a sexual crisis didn’t mean I had to bring the object of my obsession into it. He was worried about weirding me out when in fact I was pretty sure the opposite was happening.
We played in silence for a few minutes, and Logan showed off his checkers skills. He had half of my guys dead and I’d had to shoot back a lot of warm beer.
“You suck at checkers.”
“I spent my youth in the ballpark, not playing checkers.” I smirked as I finally jumped over one of his glasses.
“Well, not everyone can be a sports god.” He picked up his glass and shot it back. “Ugh, warm beer. About as appetising as cold cum.”
My jaw dropped open at the comment and Logan’s face flushed pink.
“Sorry, I didn’t even think before that slipped out.”
“It’s fine.” I cleared my throat and swallowed.
I wasn’t grossed out, but I was shocked. His words had been a surprise, but it was my reaction that was throwing me. As soon as he’d said that my mind had jumped to what Logan might taste like. I’d never even tasted cum before, never thought about it, but now I wondered. How would it feel to have Logan’s cock in my mouth, sucking him down to the back of my throat the way I loved to be sucked, and to swallow every drop of him.
My cheeks started burning and I knew I was blushing too. Shit. I had to find a way to get my mind back on checkers and off Logan’s cock.
“I’m still sorry.”
“Dude, seriously. Just be yourself. If you say weird shit or you shock me then oh well. I’m not some delicate little flower you have to protect.”
“Really?” He bit his lip in a way that was far too sexy as he looked at me.
“Really. It takes a lot to really get to me so a few quips or inappropriate remarks aren’t a big deal. Just be you.”
“Thanks, that means a lot.” He moved one of his glasses but kept his eyes on the board.
“You feel like you have to be someone else a lot?”
It felt weird to be having such a personal conversation in the middle of a party, but we were alone in the dining room and I was curious.
“Most of the time.” He nodded and glanced up at me. “I guess I’m just so used to it I forget that not everyone will judge me for being me.”
“I kind of get that.” I sighed. “Sometimes it’s hard to figure out who you really are when everyone seems to expect you to be the opposite of how you feel.”
“Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.”
“Wow, I really am a downer.” I chuckled and moved one of my glasses, hopping it over one of his.
“Meh, just a sign that you’re a realist.” He grinned and shot back his beer. “That Pollyanna attitude drives me up the fucking wall.”
“Same.”
We lapsed into silence and continued to play. My mind was only half on the game. The other half was still trying to forget just how much I’d wanted to suck Logan off. How much I still wanted to do it.
LOGAN
Adam’s friends were pretty chill. They mixed well with my brothers and the girls, and by the time people started to leave I felt that it had been a successful night.
It had been nice seeing everyone and having a bit of a break before school started. Once it did I was on house arrest. I’d already made a pact with myself that unless it was a special occasion like a birthday then I was staying home.
I needed to pay off my debts and make sure I never fell into that trap again, and the temptation to go crazy was just too much.
I was an all or nothing kind of guy. I could deny myself something until the end of time, but if I gave in once then it was like my impulse control went out the window and I went overboard. Moderation wasn’t something I was good at, and that extended into every aspect of my life from spending to drinking.
It was one of the reasons I worked out and never bothered watching what I ate. I knew that if I went on any sort of diet I’d blow it the moment I gave into temptation and I’d binge on everything that wasn’t healthy for me.
It was another reason I didn’t do relationships.
I liked hookups, loved a good roll in the sack as much as the next guy, but if my emotions got involved I knew I’d fall hard and fast. I d
idn’t do casual dating, but could manage casual fucking. As long as I didn’t have any romantic feelings for the guy I was with then I could keep seeing him for as long as the sex was good. The moment I felt anything real I had to break it off, because the idea of being in love and giving someone that kind of power over me was terrifying.
Thanks to my irrational fear of intimacy I’d never been in love and had never had a boyfriend. My self-worth and self-esteem had been crushed at eighteen, and that experience had fortified my decision to steer clear of matters of the heart. I might die alone, but at least I’d die with my heart and soul intact.
Matt and Avery were the last to leave because Avery insisted on helping us clean up. She was going to make an incredible mom one day, and I was kind of excited to have a little niece or nephew when they were ready for kids. I wasn’t so sure about Jay and Paige’s plans, but they’d make excellent parents too, and so would Jax if he ever got his head out of his ass and found a girl who could put up with him.
I might not ever have my own family, but I’d always be part of theirs so I’d never be completely alone.
“Well, that was fun.” I glanced at Adam and found him chewing his lip as he stared at the wall. “You okay?”
“Fine.” He looked at me.
“Drunk?”
“Buzzed.”
“Same.” I stepped back from the door. “At least we don’t have to clean up tomorrow.”
“Yeah, that’s a bonus.” His voice was soft and he was giving me a thousand mile stare.
I wanted to ask what was wrong but kept my mouth shut. I didn’t want to pry.
“Cool, well, I’m off to bed.”
“Yeah.”
Shaking my head I turned toward the bedrooms. I made it five steps before I heard Adam call out to me.
“Logan?”
“Yeah?”
I turned, expecting him to be on the other side of the room, but he was striding toward me with a determined look in his eyes.
I froze. I knew that look. That was the look of a man on a mission, and I didn’t know if he was going to hit me or kiss me.
My balls tightened at the thought of his lips on mine, but before I could brace for a punch to the face Adam was right in front of me.
His hands grabbed the front of my shirt and he pushed me back, forcing me against the wall. My mind was having a hard time keeping up with his actions and there was still a part of me that thought he was about to pummel me.
“Ad—”
Before I could finish Adam’s lips crashed against mine in a hard kiss. I was so shocked I didn’t move or respond for a few seconds. It wasn’t until he thrust his hips against mine and I felt the bulge of his erection that I snapped out of it and kissed him back.
It was a bit messy and uncoordinated, a mashing of lips and desperate tongues, but that made it so much hotter. It was as though he wanted me, needed me so badly he could barely focus.
With a grunt of pure desire I reached up and cupped Adam’s face in my hands, holding him still so I could better control the kiss. Hot and hurried was awesome, but I wanted to slow things down a bit and show him just how much I loved to kiss.
Ignoring the alarm bells in my head, screaming at me to stop kissing my straight roommate and go to bed, I slowed the pace slightly. I swept my tongue into his mouth, teasing his with long, languid strokes as our lips moved together in the sensual and primal dance of passionate kissing.
The moan Adam let out went straight to my cock and I was rock hard in an instant, and when he rolled his hips against mine, pure, animalistic lust shot through me and I was done with slow and gentle.
I grabbed him by the hips, hauling his body tight against mine as I knocked him off balance. I guided him until it was his back pressed against the wall and he whimpered, fucking whimpered, in ecstasy. It was the hottest fucking sound I’d ever heard.
His hands moved to my waist, holding me as he allowed me to plunder his mouth and rub my body against his. I knew I had to slow down or I’d come in my pants like a horny teenager, but I was beyond caring.
The sudden ringing of Adam’s phone in his pocket shocked me back into reality and I realized what I was doing.
We pulled apart at the same moment and I stepped back.
Adam’s lips were wet and swollen from my kisses, and his face was flushed and pink. I knew he was hard, or at least had been two seconds ago, and he was staring at me with a mix of shock and arousal. If there was a sexier sight out there, I had yet to see it.
“You going to answer that?” I asked, needing to say something to break the silence.
“I have voicemail.” His voice was shaky and a little choked.
“I...” I didn’t know what to say. What I could say? I’d just kissed my straight roommate, and he’d started it.
Instead of saying another word I turned on my heel and rushed into my bedroom. I slammed the door a lot harder than I meant to and flopped onto my bed.
That had been the hottest, sexiest and most incredible kiss of my life. I’d fantasized, dreamed of kissing Adam, but now that it had happened I was confused as fuck. I think it was safe to say Adam was bi-curious, but what had triggered him to kiss me like that?
I’d thought I’d make things awkward with my mouth because of what I might say, it looked like I’d taken things to whole new level of fucked up with not only my mouth, but also my tongue.
ADAM
What the fuck had come over me?
One second I was thinking about the fact that Logan and I were alone in the apartment, and the next I was kissing him like an addict about to shoot up.
I don’t remember making the decision to kiss him, or walking toward him and grabbing him. But I did remember how it had felt the moment my lips had touched his.
My entire body had lit up and liquid lava had pulsed through my veins. I’d never had a reaction that strong from a kiss before, and all I could focus on was feeling more, getting as much as I could out of that kiss because I couldn’t bear the thought of pulling away.
When he’d grabbed me and forced me against the wall I’d almost come in my pants. The pure, masculine strength he’d shown me, combined with the force of his kiss and the rough way he’d handled me, had been such a turn on I’d whimpered like some newbie virgin. But then again, I guess in a way I was a newbie virgin. Kissing a girl and kissing Logan were completely different experiences, and my desire had come from a deep, almost primal place.
If my phone hadn’t rung I would have dry humped the fuck out of him until we’d both come. Even after parting ways and running to my room to try and sort out my feelings I was still rock-hard, and could feel Logan’s lips and body against mine as though we were still pressed together.
There was no way I could tell myself I was only curious. I wasn’t gay, but I was definitely bi.
“Fuck.” I ran my hand through my hair and tried to will my erection away.
I’d just made out with my roommate after telling him I was straight. If I was confused then his head must be spinning.
I could always shrug it off and blame the beer. Apologize and pretend that it had been a mistake, but even as I thought of it I knew that wasn’t an option.
Now that I’d kissed Logan once I didn’t want to stop. Living together made things weird on a level I wasn’t ready to contemplate, but I knew I wasn’t done. Not by a long shot.
Chapter Six
Logan
I didn’t sleep for shit after my impromptu makeout session with Adam, and when I finally dragged my ass out of bed I was still confused.
I hadn’t messed around with someone who wasn’t out since I was eighteen, and I’d never been with a guy who was bi. I understood gay men, but bi was a completely different ball game, at least for me.
I smirked at my unintentional pun and headed out to the main part of the apartment. I needed coffee.
There was a used pod in the machine and a dirty cup in the sink. That told me Adam had gotten up, had coffee and left. It
was probably for the best. It was way too early to think about how we were going to go back to just being roommates after that earth-moving kiss.
Normally I would have called Avery to talk it out, but for some reason I needed to keep this to myself. Adam wasn’t out and it wouldn’t be right for me to tell her about him before he had a chance to come to terms with his sexuality. I’d seen what being outed before you were ready could do to someone, and I wasn’t going to do that to him.
Instead I took my coffee to my room and lay down on my bed. School was starting tomorrow so I would focus on that. I definitely wouldn’t think about Adam, about his kiss or his rock hard body. I was going to forget about how he tasted both sweet and a little spicy, and how he had a very distinct and masculine smell that still clung to the shirt I’d been wearing.
Goddamn it. It was waaaaaay too early to get a stiffy, but there he was, ready to play.
I hadn’t jerked off last night. I’d wanted to, but my head had been a little full so I’d kept my hand off my dick.
“Fuck it.”
I put my coffee cup down and lay back on my bed, stripping my shirt off as I did. I reached into my pajama pants, closing my eyes as I grasped my cock. After giving it a few tugs I pulled it free and moved my hand in earnest as I thought about Adam and our kiss.
“Fuck, oh fuck.” I bit my lip to try and quiet my cries, then realized I didn’t need to be quiet since I was alone.
My hand sped up and I gripped the sheets with my other as I bucked my hips, fucking my fist as I leaked all over my hand, creating a tight, slick channel.
“Oh god. Fuck!”
I came in a rush, my balls tightening and pulling up into my body as I shuddered. Thick ropes of cum painted my stomach and chest, and my toes actually curled.
I hadn’t come that hard in a long time, and as I flopped back on my bed, not caring about the mess I’d made, my eyes fluttered open.
If just thinking about that kiss could affect me that much, I was almost afraid of what would happen if he wanted to do it again.
* * * * *
I didn’t see Adam again until I was putting my dinner dishes away. I’d been about to head to my room when the front door had closed, and after taking a deep breath I headed into the living room. He was kind of hovering in front of the couch looking apprehensive and a little embarrassed.