by A. T Brennan
“Dude, seriously.” Kevin was giving me a weird look as I turned back to him. “Unless you have something going on and you’re too embarrassed to show this other chick around, why wouldn’t you?”
“I...” This was the perfect opportunity to tell Kevin about Logan. Of all the guys on the team Kevin was my closest friend. He’d be the logical choice to be honest with, but I couldn’t do it. “I’ve got nothing going on.”
“Then get over there and take her up on her offer.” He punched my arm and I sighed as I shot back the rest of my beer.
Maybe this was what I needed to get my mind off Logan. We weren’t together so it wasn’t cheating. There really wasn’t anything stopping me.
“I’ll see you at the gym tomorrow.” I nodded to Kevin and headed over to where Katie was waiting.
“Hey, sexy.” She grinned seductively as I came up to her. “I was wondering how long I’d have to wait for you to make your way over here.”
“I guess I’m a little slow tonight.” I grinned and leaned closer to her. “I’d be a fool to keep you waiting for even a second.”
She giggled and put her hand on my arm. “Dance with me. I don’t feel like talking right now.”
She took my hand without waiting for an answer and tugged me toward the area of the room where people were dancing. When we were in an open space she turned and draped her arms over my shoulders and pressed up against me.
She felt nice and my body responded to her, but my mind just wasn’t there. I knew it had to be because I was still hung up on Logan, but hopefully a little bit of dancing would make me forget about him and then I could let my body take over.
* * * * *
An hour later my body was still interested in Katie and everything she was offering, but my mind was somewhere else.
She was doing everything right. She felt incredible, smelled sweet and a little floral, and she was rubbing up against me in a very appealing way. Put it all together I should have been all over her, but I couldn’t do it.
I was thinking about Logan.
I was imagining it was his strong, hard body against mine and his spicy scent surrounding us, and I could almost feel his cock against my hip. I had to stop things now because it wasn’t fair to lead Katie on when I was thinking about someone else.
I started to pull away from her when she leaned up and kissed me. Her lips were soft and her kiss was sweet, but she wasn’t the person I wanted to be kissing.
I pulled away from her, stepping back as I tried to think of some way to let her down without being an ass.
“You want to get out of here?” She raised her eyebrow at me and licked her lips.
Since I couldn’t think of a way to tell her no I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pretended to look at a text message.
“I have to go. My roommate is drunk and stranded.”
“Oh.” She pouted. “Can’t he get someone else?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to leave but I’ve got to help him out.”
“To be continued then?” she asked hopefully.
“Sure.”
Now I felt like a total dick. I should have just told her I wasn’t interested but instead I’d lied. I was digging myself into a deeper hole and things were just getting more complicated.
As I left the party and headed home I felt like dog shit.
I was stringing Katie along because I was too much of a bitch to tell her the truth. I’d lied to Kevin and I was playing a very dangerous game, all to keep my sexuality hidden.
I was treating Logan like a dirty little secret, and he deserved better than that.
I didn’t feel much better when I got home and was glad Logan was still out. I couldn’t face him right now.
When I was in my room I flopped on my bed and tried not to think about the mess I was making. As usual my mind wandered to Logan and I bit my lip as our last encounter played in my mind.
It had been hot as fuck. We’d made out on the couch with me straddling his legs. We’d jerked each other off for a bit, but then Logan had taken both of our cocks and held them in his hand as we’d fucked his fist. Feeling his hand or mouth on me was amazing enough, but to have his cock against mine, his pre-cum slicking over me as mine slid over him had been amazing. I’d come first and Logan had thrown me down on the couch and straddled me as he finished himself off and come all over my stomach.
As I’d been laying there, watching him come above me, I’d wondered how it would feel if he fucked me. To get to watch him as he thrust into me, owning me. That thought had sent a rush of pleasure through me and I’d felt my dick stirring even though I’d just come.
I wanted him to fuck me, but I wasn’t exactly sure how it would work. Could he even get inside me if I was on my back? The angle didn’t seem as though it worked, but there had to be other ways and not just doggy style.
My eyes wandered over to my laptop and I paused. I could always look it up. I’d spent enough time on the internet looking at porn before, and it was then I realized I hadn’t watched any since I’d moved in.
Even before Logan and I had kissed I hadn’t been interested in seeing other people have sex, and as soon as we started messing around I hadn’t needed any fantasy material. I’d only thought about him.
After a moment I got up and brought my computer over to the bed. I flashed it up and paused at the Google search bar. I had a shitload of bookmarks for straight sex, but nothing with two men.
Finally I typed in my favorite streaming site and then opened the search. I typed in ‘gay’ and waited.
It took me to a new site, one that was filled with only gay videos, and I paused.
I had no idea what I’d be into. There were dozens of categories to choose from so I scrolled through them.
The thumbnail video for ‘college’ caught my eye. One of the guys in it looked at lot like Logan. They had the same build and hair color, even the styles were similar. The guy he was pounding his dick into had my build and hair color, and I clicked on it.
I had to search out the video and found it at the end of the first page. Biting my lip I clicked on it.
I watched it open and saw it was almost ten minutes long by the counter. This should show me at least some of what I wanted to know.
The video started with some cheesy dialogue but quickly moved into them kissing. I watched as they undressed each other and then lay on the bed. They did a sort of sixty-nine as they lay on their sides, and that was hot. I would definitely do that with Logan. When they were done the guy who looked like me lay on his back as the other guy put on a condom and lubed up his fingers.
I watched as he slipped his fingers inside the other guy, stroking his cock as he did.
After a bit he pulled his fingers out and the guy who would be me lifted his knees to open up his body and tilt his hips back. It looked hot as fuck as the Logan lookalike pushed into him and started to go to town, but I didn’t know if I’d be comfortable being that exposed the first time I was with him.
After a few minutes they switched to doggy style, and I was surprised as Logan’s double reached around to jerk off the me double as he fucked him.
They were loud and very into it, and by the time the video was done I was hard as a rock and needed to see more.
I clicked on other videos and saw guys fucking in pretty much every way you could do it with a girl, there were only slight adjustments. Some of the bottoms could come just by getting fucked, and others needed a helping hand. There were so many things I hadn’t even thought of, but it all looked amazing.
By the time all my questions were answered I was painfully hard and needed to jerk off. I put the first video on again and pictured Logan and I in the starring roles. I didn’t even make it past the sideways sixty-nine before I came so hard I saw stars.
Watching those videos had definitely confirmed that I liked guys, and I wanted Logan to fuck me.
Chapter Nine
Adam
When I walked into the gym and found
Kevin waiting for me, the look on his face told me he’d heard about me blowing Katie off.
“You actually said no to sex in order to go get your drunk roommate?” Kevin asked in greeting as I came up to him.
I clutched my water bottle a little tighter and tried to keep my face neutral. “He was in trouble.”
“And you decided that was more important than getting some?”
“Look, I made a choice to help out a friend. I’d do the same for you.”
“I’d never cock-block you like that.”
“He didn’t cock-block me. He asked for help.”
“Are you sure?” he asked as we headed to the weight circuit.
“What?”
“Are you sure that’s all it was? Logan is gay, it’s no secret. Are you sure he needed help and he wasn’t trying to sabotage you?” Kevin stopped at the first machine and wiped it down.
“Where the hell is that coming from?”
“What?” Kevin game me a surprised look when I failed to keep my voice even. “It’s not like it’s impossible he’d have a thing for you.”
“Because he likes guys he automatically wants me? That’s fucked up.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time a gay guy tried to convert someone.” Kevin sat at the machine and shrugged as he gripped the arm pads.
“Dude, fuck off with that.” Thankfully I was being fueled by both anger and fear so I didn’t clam up and give away my secret. “Gay guys don’t try to convert anyone. That’s a load of bullshit.”
“Really? No gay guy has ever hit on you? They’ve hit on me.”
“Showing interest is not the same as trying to convert you. I’ve had plenty hit on me but none have ever pushed it when I wasn’t interested. You get a lot of gay guys pressuring you for sex?”
“Well no, but—”
“Exactly. You don’t hit on everything with tits so what makes us so special we’d have guys setting themselves up to be shot down over and over again?”
“Dude, it comes with the territory.” Kevin was halfway through his reps and was barely straining.
“What? Being ball players?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re being stupid. Logan is my friend and roommate. If he needs help then I’ll do what I can to help him. It doesn’t matter who he likes. It’s called being a decent fucking human being.”
“Why are you being so defensive?” Kevin finished his reps and looked up at me.
“Because this whole conversation is stupid.”
“Whatever, man. You’re up.” He stood and moved aside so I could sit down.
I was still fuming, but a part of me was also terrified that Kevin would see through my anger and put two and two together.
I didn’t know why I just couldn’t be honest with him and tell him I’d turned Katie down because I was into Logan, and that meant I was into guys and not just girls. I hated lying about Logan, talking about him as though he was just my roommate and I didn’t feel what I did for him, but I couldn’t get the words out.
Lying was only going to make coming out harder, but I just wasn’t ready.
“You need to add weight next time. That was way too easy on you.” I tried changing the subject as I gripped the arm pads.
“Yeah, it felt it. You’ll probably have to add too.”
I finished my first three reps and nodded. I was getting stronger and the weights felt lighter than they had the last time I’d done them. That was a good thing. Now I just had to prove myself when practices started next month and I could hopefully get my position back.
Kevin seemed to give up on our earlier conversation and started talking about nutrition and some new supplement one of the team trainers was looking into. I wasn’t a fan of the shakes, they all tasted like hot garbage and nothing like their supposed flavors, but they helped so I’d continue to force myself to choke them down.
* * * * *
I didn’t bother showering at the gym after our workout. I was a bit nervous about seeing Logan. We’d never talked about sex and I had no idea if he’d even want to fuck me. I’d done some research online and found that some guys didn’t top, the same as some didn’t bottom. There were even some who didn’t enjoy sex no matter which role they were playing.
I wanted Logan to fuck me, but the thought of getting to fuck him was also incredibly appealing. Since I had no idea what his preferences were I would have to figure out a way to ask. If sex wasn’t his thing then I’d be more than happy to continue doing what we were. As long as I could keep being with him I’d be happy.
“Hey.” Logan glanced up from the book he was reading as I walked into the apartment. “You look sweaty.”
“I was at the gym.” I tossed my bag on the loveseat and ran my hand through my hair. I’d worked out hard and knew I had to be more than a little ripe.
“No free showers?” he asked with a grin.
“There were, but I like ours better.”
His eyes raked up my body and I could see them darken as he checked out my chest and arms.
“You want some company?” he asked in a husky voice.
“Definitely.”
Logan stood and came to stand in front of me.
“I’m kinda gross,” I warned as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.
“I kinda like it.”
“Really?” I grinned as he pressed his cheek against mine and breathed in.
“It reminds me how sweaty you get when we’re fucking around.”
“Yeah?” I shuddered as he licked the side of my neck.
“Oh yeah.”
His tongue moved up my cheek and over towards my mouth, and I moaned when he took his time teasing my lips with the tip of it instead of kissing me.
“Stop teasing and fucking kiss me already,” I groaned when he pulled away.
With a grin Logan leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine in a deep kiss. His tongue swept into my mouth for a moment and then he pulled back again.
“I want your ass naked and in that shower, now.”
I loved when he bossed me around. There was something so hot about doing exactly what he wanted me to, and I loved the deep, masculine tone his voice took on.
Grabbing his hand I pulled him toward the bathroom. When we got inside he turned on the water as I stripped off my clothes, my dick already hard and standing straight out in front of me.
I watched as he tested the water then stepped back so he could get naked as well.
“Fuck you’re hot.” I looked him up and down, my eyes lingering on his hard cock as I imagined how it might feel to have him inside me.
“I can definitely say the same about you, gym boy. Now get in so I can wrap my hand around that gorgeous cock of yours.”
I almost tripped in my haste to get under the spray. Logan came right in behind me and pulled me against him in a crushing kiss.
I could feel his cock rubbing against mine as he rolled his hips, and I gripped his perfect ass and squeezed. His hands were gently cupping my face, a stark contrast to the crushing kiss we were sharing.
After a moment he pulled away and turned me around so I was facing the water with my back pressed against his front. His cock nestled in the cleft of my ass and I sighed.
“You like that?” he asked in my ear as he gripped my cock in his strong hand.
“Yes,” I breathed and pushed back against him. He responded by shifting his hips so his cock slid through my crease, and I shuddered when it brushed over my hole.
“Tell me what you want, Adam.” His voice was gentle as he slowly stroked my dick.
“I want you to fuck me.” I swallowed and let my head fall back against his shoulder.
“You want to feel my cock in that tight, virgin ass?”
“God yes.”
“What else do you want?” His hand sped up and his other one wrapped around my stomach, pulling me flush against him.
“I want to fuck you.”
“I want that too.”
“Yes, both. I’m versatile. I like to get fucked as much as I like to fuck.”
“Oh god.” I closed my eyes and bit back another groan.
“Which do you want first?”
“You to fuck me.”
“Now?”
“Yes, please.”
He turned me around and gave me a deep kiss.
“Okay, let’s get you washed up and get started.”
He must have seen my pout because he grinned and gave me a soft kiss. “As much as I’d love to bend you over and take you right here, I’m not going to do that for your first time. I’m going to take it slow. Make it as good as I can for you.”
“God that sounds awesome.”
“Which one?” He chuckled and kissed me again.
“Both.”
“Well, we’ll try the other one at some point. Right now we’re doing this properly.”
He pulled away and handed me my loofa—yes, I was a loofa guy—and body wash. I tried to hurry up but he kept distracting me with kisses and gentle tugs on my dick, and I had a hard time concentrating.
When I was finally clean he took a moment under the spray and wiped down. Then he turned off the water.
As we stepped out of the bathtub I looked at him. “I have what we need in my room.”
“Why don’t you go get it and meet me at the couch?”
The couch? He wanted to fuck on the couch? It wasn’t that I was expecting it to be all romantic or anything, but the couch seemed like a weird place. Was he trying to put some emotional distance between us?
“Trust me, the couch will be best for your first time.” He leaned in and gave me a soft kiss. “It’ll make it easier on you.”
I decided to trust him and we quickly toweled off and headed out of the bathroom. I went to my room and grabbed a condom and some lube and then went to meet him at the couch.
While I’d been getting our supplies my dick had flagged and I was currently flying at half-mast. Logan still had a full erection, so at least I knew he was into it. I noticed he’d put a towel over the cushions of the couch. Good thing he thought of it since it wasn’t our couch to ruin.