by A. T Brennan
I was a coward, and if I hurt Logan again because of my own insecurities I’d never forgive myself. I needed to put my big boy pants on and be honest with everyone. If I didn’t, then I’d lose the best thing that had ever happened to me.
LOGAN
The rest of the week passed quickly. Adam and I fell into an easy routine of going to class, working out— which included me getting my ass kicked every single time we went to the gym— and then having dinner together and hanging out until it was time to go to bed.
We also alternated between whose room we’d sleep in, and we fucked pretty much every chance we had.
I was more than willing to bottom for Adam, but for some reason he wanted me to top. I didn’t mind. Fucking him was incredible, but I had to wonder why. He’d already told me he wanted to fuck me, but something was holding him back.
I’d invited my brothers and the girls over that Sunday, as it was the only night Paige and Avery had off. Adam and I spent the weekend holed up in the apartment together. It was like we’d created our own little bubble where we could just be. We didn’t have to worry about any of the stresses from the outside world, we could focus on each other and our relationship.
We were dating, we’d agreed on that, and while we were partially on the down low, Adam was making a real effort to be more open. When we did venture out of the apartment together he made little gestures of affection that wouldn’t look out of place to other people, but meant a lot to me.
He’d touch my hand while saying something, lean in to whisper things in my ear. He even looped his arm around my shoulders and gave me a one-armed hug every time we parted ways. It was a little more touchy-feely than the average straight guy would be with another dude, and I appreciated the effort.
The only time we played it completely straight was at the gym. That wasn’t the place to flaunt our sexualities, and I didn’t want to cause a scene.
By the time my friends were supposed to arrive on Sunday night, I was nervous.
It was stupid. They were my family and it had been Adam’s idea, but there was a part of me that was scared he’d chicken out. If that happened I didn’t know what I would do. I didn’t want to lose him, but I couldn’t be his secret boyfriend. I wouldn’t.
“You’re lost in your head.” Adam interrupted my musings and kissed me softly. “What are you thinking so hard about?”
“Nothing.” I smiled and gave him another kiss.
“Liar.” He brushed his thumb over my bottom lip and gave me a knowing smile. “You think I’m going to flake on you.”
“No, I—”
“It’s okay. I haven’t exactly given you any reason to think otherwise.” He replaced his thumb with his lips and gave my hand a squeeze.
Before I could answer there was a knock at our door. Adam sat back, giving me a tender smile as he pulled me to my feet so we could answer the door together.
“Hey,” I greeted as Adam pulled the door open.
I wasn’t surprised to see Paige and Jay standing there. Paige had a habit of showing up everywhere exactly on time or a few minutes early.
Jay was the first to notice our entwined hands as we stepped back to let them into the apartment, and he gave me a sly grin that clearly said he was going to have fun with this.
“Hey yourself.” He bit his lip ring and winked at me.
I just rolled my eyes at him and tried not to smile. Adam was going to have to get used to my family, it might as well start now.
Paige looked at Adam and I, and when she saw our hands she broke out into a huge smile and elbowed Jay in the ribs, nodding to us.
“Subtle, Paige.” I rolled my eyes at her as Adam chuckled.
“Sorry, I’ve never been very tactful.” She shrugged and we made our way to the couches.
“So, Adam.” Jay grinned as he looked at Adam.
“Yeah?”
“You and my brother?”
“Um, yeah.” He looked at me and I shrugged. He was on his own.
“What are your intentions with him?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Are you boyfriends, friends who hold hands? Maybe it’s like prison sex and it’s a convenience thing?”
“What? No.” He shook his head adamantly. “We’re together.”
“So you’ll do right by him?”
“What?”
“Relax, baby.” I put my hand on Adam’s thigh, taking pity on him. “He’s teasing you.”
“Oh. Of course. I’m an only child. I’m not used to ribbing.”
“Not to mention the fact that you have a golden arm so everyone always kisses your ass,” Paige quipped.
“That too.” He laughed.
“Look, I’m glad you found each other, and as long as you make my brother happy then I’m happy. But I will tell you this. If you hurt him, you’ll have all of us to deal with.”
“I don’t plan on it.” Adam gripped my hand and gave me a tender smile. “I never want to hurt him, not again.”
“And be warned that you’ll probably hear that again, at least three times.”
“Three?” Adam looked at me. “I thought you only had two other brothers?”
“I do.”
“Then who’s the third?”
“Avery,” Paige and Jay said together.
Adam laughed and squeezed my hand. “I had a feeling she’d be one to watch out for.”
“She may look all sweet and motherly, but mess with her friends and she’s worse than a momma bear.” Jay laughed and leaned back against the couch. “I’d be more afraid of her than of us.”
“I’ll be sure to remember that.” Adam bent to give me a quick kiss and then nodded to the kitchen. “I’ll go grab the drinks and stuff.”
“I’ll help you.” I started to stand but he put his hand on my chest and smiled. “I’ve got it, babe.”
As he headed into the kitchen I let my eyes rest on his ass, admiring the way it moved and how his jeans clung to him. When he was out of sight I looked at Jay and Paige.
“What?”
“You’re shameless.” Jay laughed.
“I can’t help it, that man has an ass that demands to be stared at.”
“He certainly does,” Paige agreed. “Oh, now don’t you give me that look, Jay Robson. You know your ass is the only one I want.”
I laughed as Jay smiled, seemingly placated by Paige’s declaration.
This was looking like it would be a great night.
The rest of the gang arrived and Adam got three more ‘talks’ as the others came into the apartment and noticed us holding hands. It wasn’t awkward and he seemed to enjoy the teasing.
It wasn’t until we were all sitting around about to start playing Cards Against Humanity that Avery grabbed my arm and dragged me into my room.
“Adam’s the mystery guy?” she asked, pulling me down on the bed with her.
“Yeah. Now you see why it’s so complicated.”
“Yeah. I get it. But wow, Logan. Wow.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and grinned. “He’s definitely wow.”
“Like how?” She leaned forward.
I laughed and squeezed her hand. “He’s incredible. We click, you know? Everything just feels right when we’re together.”
“I’m so happy for you, but is this his coming out? Like will you get to be boyfriends outside now?”
“Sort of.” I sighed. “He wanted us to tell you guys because you’re family. He’s still working on telling his team.”
“Do you think he will?”
“I hope so. He said he will.”
“What if he can’t, or doesn’t?”
“I don’t know. I don’t really want to think about that.”
“Logan—”
“I know. Reality is a thing and it could happen.” I sighed again. “I don’t know. I guess I’d have to walk away.”
“Have you told him you love him?”
“Not yet.”
“Do you think he loves you?”
“Why not?”
“I just feel like he might think he loves me, but it’s just because I’m the first guy he’s been with.”
“Did you love your first?”
“No.”
“So why would he automatically love you for that?”
“I’m just scared. He could hurt me, a lot.”
“You’ve got to trust what you have. If you love him and he loves you, don’t deny it.”
“You’re right, I know you are. I’m just scared of getting my heart broken.”
“I see the way he looks at you, the way you look at him. There’s something real there.”
“Yeah, there is.”
“Avery?”
We heard Matt knocking on my door and Avery rolled her eyes.
“Yeah?”
“We’re about to start playing. You guys coming out?”
“Yup.” She stood and pulled me into a hug. “You deserve to be happy, Logan. Adam has made you happier than I’ve ever seen you.”
“Thanks, sweetie.” I gave her one last squeeze before pulling away. “We should go before Matty breaks down the door.”
“Probably a good idea,” she agreed.
ADAM
By the time Logan’s friends left I was feeling great. We’d had fun, no one had made a big deal about us being together, and I’d loved being able to touch and kiss Logan in front of people.
There was something so awesome about being free to be myself. I was in love with a man, and I could show him without fear of judgement or retaliation. Now if only I could harness that high when I told my friends.
“That went well.” Logan stretched as I put the last glass in the sink. We’d do the dishes tomorrow.
“It did. I had fun.”
“My friends are pretty awesome.”
“Not just with your friends, but with you.”
He grinned and reached out for my hand. “My room?”
“Oh yeah, but can we try something?”
“Anything...well, almost anything,” he corrected as we headed to his room. “I don’t do anything involving cooch.”
“No cooch here.” I laughed. “I want to watch you.”
“Watch me?” He pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside.
“With your dildo. Is that weird?”
“That’s fucking hot.” He grinned. “And a bit kinky.”
“I have my moments.”
I waited as he went to his bedside table and opened the bottom drawer. When he pulled out his toy my entire body tightened. It was as long as an average dick with a curved handle. It was also flesh toned and realistic looking.
“How do you want me?”
“Come here.”
He tossed the toy down on his bed and stepped into my arms.
Our kiss was hot and hard, and I swept my tongue into his mouth as my hands roamed over his body. Usually I was happy to let him lead, but tonight, I wanted to be in charge.
“Fuck,” Logan groaned against my kiss as I ripped open the button of his jeans and ran my fingers over the head of his cock as it peeked out of his boxer briefs.
“Get naked and lay on your back.”
He stepped back and stripped off his clothes. As he lay on the bed I pulled off my clothes and settled next to him. “Lube?”
He rolled over to grab the bottle out of his drawer and handed it to me.
“Can I prep you?” I asked as I leaned over him so I could kiss his lips.
“Please,” he breathed against me.
I pulled away so I could open the bottle and squirt some on my fingers. Logan spread his legs as I moved back over him so I could kiss him.
I was a bit nervous. This would be the first time I did more than just tease his hole, and I was scared I would hurt him.
“Just go slow. You won’t hurt me,” he said softly when I hesitated.
“How did you know that’s what I was thinking?”
“I know that look. Just do for me what you like me to do for you and it’ll be perfect.”
I nodded and bent my head so I could kiss him again. As my lips played over his, I moved my hand and gently traced my fingers over his hole.
After a few moments of teasing I felt him open slightly, and that’s when I pushed one finger inside him.
“Fuck you’re tight.” I groaned as I slowly pushed it in. “Is that okay?”
“It feels good. You can got a bit faster.”
When my finger was all the way inside him I paused, relishing the feel of him, then I began to move.
“Put another one in, I’m ready,” he said after a few minutes of teasing, his voice breathy.
I slid a second finger inside him and bit my lip when he groaned in pleasure. I felt around for his prostate, and when I pressed my fingers against it he gasped and rocked his hips.
“Fuck you’re sexy, babe.” I kissed the side of his neck as he moved with me, setting his own pace as he fucked himself with my fingers. “So fucking sexy.”
“God you feel good.”
“Are you ready for the dildo?”
“Yes.”
I pulled my fingers out of him and handed him the lube and the toy. “I want to watch you slide it in.”
He nodded and took them from me before slicking up the toy. Then he moved it toward his ass.
I watched, fascinated, as he pressed it against his opening, and then he began pushing it in.
“Fuck.” I stared as the toy disappeared inside him. “So fucking hot.”
“Do you want me to fuck myself?” he asked, looking up at me with passion glazed eyes.
“No. I want you to lay back and enjoy this.”
I took the toy from him and scooted down so I was lined up with his cock.
“Oh shit. Babe!” he cried out as I sucked his swollen cock into my mouth, taking as much of him as I could. When he was pushing down my throat I started moving the dildo, timing it with the drags of my mouth.
“Oh shit. Fuck babe!” Logan shouted, his hand fisting in my hair as his body tensed. “Oh fuck!”
I hummed around his dick, setting off another cry as the vibrations added to the sensations I was creating for him.
His hand reached down and pushed on my wrist, and when the dildo shifted and hit his prostate he shouted in pleasure.
I kept teasing him, sucking hard as I fucked him with the toy. My entire body was tight and my cock was aching with need, but I wanted him to finish before I even thought of touching myself.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come.”
I sucked him harder, hollowing my cheeks as I waited for him to fill my mouth.
“Oh god. Fuck!”
He came in a burst, and I greedily swallowed every drop of him as I slowed my pace. Aftershocks of pleasure rippled through his body, and after a moment he reached down to stop me.
“It’s too much.”
I gently pulled the dildo out of him and crawled up his body to kiss him.
“Good?” I asked teasingly as he panted against my lips.
“Fuck yeah.”
With a wicked grin I straddled his stomach, my hand stroking my cock as I stared down at him. Watching him had turned me on so much I was already close to coming.
“Oh yeah.” He nodded, staring up at me as his hands gripped my legs. “Stroke that dick. Come all over me.”
“Fuck yeah, babe.” I struggled to keep eye contact with him. I wanted to watch him as I finished.
“So hot. You’re so fucking beautiful.” His voice was filled with reverence and I loved the tender look in his eyes. It was as though he was mirroring what I felt for him, and that thought was enough to send me over the edge.
“Oh shit!”
My orgasm hit me so fast I barely had time to register it was happening before I shouted in pleasure and spilled on his chest and stomach.
“Oh shit,” I repeated, milking the last of my orgasm out as I fell forward, catching myself with my free hand. “Wow.�
��
“Yeah.” He nodded, his hand stroking my cheek. “That was fucking amazing. Come here.”
Not caring about the mess that was between us I lay on him as Logan wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.
“Not that I’m complaining, not at all, but what made you think to do that?” he asked, kissing my shoulder.
“I was watching porn the other day and I saw this threesome. One guy was getting fucked as the third sucked him off. All I could think about was how amazing that would feel. Since I’m not about to share you I thought it would be essentially the same thing with a toy.”
“We could’ve gotten you one, then you could have experienced it.”
“I didn’t want it for me. I wanted it for you.” I smiled as he kissed my neck. “I wanted you to feel worshipped.”
“Thank you. It was amazing.”
“Can I tell you a something?” I asked quietly as I pulled away so I could look down at him.
“You can tell me anything.”
“I’m afraid of hurting you. That’s why I haven’t topped you yet.”
“Baby, you’d never hurt me. I trust you.” He stroked my cheek as he looked up at me. “I can take it a bit rough, if that’s what you’d want.”
“It’s not that...I...”
“What?”
“I’m afraid it won’t be good for you. That I’ll do something wrong.”
“Baby, I’ve never fucked a girl but I assume it’s pretty much the same thing. Just being with you will be amazing.”
I bit my lip and nodded.
I was worried about hurting him, but I was also worried about not lasting. Watching and hearing Logan enjoy my blowjobs put me on such a hair trigger I was afraid I’d blow my load the second I slipped inside him. I’d never had performance anxiety with girls before, but it was different with Logan.
I loved him so completely his pleasure meant more to me than my own. I’d hate to taint our first time with me topping him by being a speedster and him not getting off.
“I’m perfectly happy to top for as long as you want.” He pulled me down for a quick kiss. “But I need to you to understand that being with you means more to me than anything else. You could never be anything other than perfect.”
I smiled at his words and some of my anxiety lifted.
“Come on. Let’s get cleaned up and then we’ll go to bed.”
“Thanks for being so understanding.”