Dismount (Off Balance Book 5)

by Lucia Franco

  I heard an intake of air from the other end of the line. "Adrianna." My name was a warning on his lips. "Do not push me or I will withdraw any and all of your assets. You'll have nothing. You may have been living on your own, and legal in the eyes of the law, but you can't support yourself or pay for gymnastics. You have no idea the amount of money I've funneled into your gym career, or for you to live like a princess."

  "Dad, I know I have no right to ask you." I tried to heed the warning, afraid he would follow through with his threat. "But please think about it. Kova needs to be here. He has to be here. The Trials are my last chance at a shot at the Olympics before everything is over." My jaw wobbled. "I need my coach."

  "Maybe you should've thought about that before you spread your legs for him."

  I flinched, unprepared for his cruelness. "So, this is out of spite? Because you're mad at me?"

  He ignored my question. "You have everything you need, including top-notch coaches, to go to the competition. You don't need anything else. You want something else, but you're not getting it. If this isn't generous enough of me, then walk away. I'm going to keep you two as far away as possible from each other. I'll do whatever I have to do, just like any father would when a grown man touches his daughter. This is ethically wrong, and not to mention, disgusting. You're too young to understand the ramifications of his revolting actions."

  Tears slid over my flushed cheeks. His venomous tone pinched at my skin. I blinked, wondering how he could say such hateful things without an ounce of remorse.

  "He's my coach and I need him," I said a little too passionately. "If he doesn't show, people will dig and ask questions, wondering why the former Olympian isn't with his gymnast at the Olympic Games. Is that what you want? Because then the truth will not only ruin everything I've worked so hard for, but it'll expose you too. You won't be able to hide it."

  "Fake crying isn't going to get you anywhere, and neither will your idle threats."

  I clenched my hand into a fist. "I'm not threatening you. People are going to figure out why he's nowhere to be found. They're nosy, and with a few simple searches, the pieces will fall together. People will discover the fight took place in one of your buildings. Then they’ll dig further and find I live here because it's already been registered with several meets. The wheels will start turning. Assumptions and lies will be spread about all of us." I paused. "All it takes is a quick internet search, and boom."

  Dad stayed quiet. If it wasn’t for the sound of the ice from his drink sloshing around in his glass, I would have thought he hung up. His continued silence made me seriously edgy. I took a deep breath and broke down, adding one final thing.

  "I'll just say this and then I won't bring it up again. In a few months, all of this will be over and behind us." I reminded him softly, my voice cracking. "I'll have to walk away from gymnastics and never look back. You have no idea what that realization does to me. Gymnastics is what makes me feel alive and happy, because even though I tell everyone I'm okay, I'm really not. I haven’t been for a while now unless I'm practicing. In a couple of months, the only thing I'll have to look forward to are endless doctor appointments and a brew of pills and tests. Please," I begged, "let me just have this one thing."

  A quiet gush of emotion escaped my lips. I couldn't wipe away the tears fast enough. My lips were trembling and swollen. I drew in a lungful of air and hoped he saw I was bearing my soul to him.

  I hadn't lied, but I did get a bit more dramatic than I probably needed to. Though, I didn't feel bad this time. Everything I said was spoken from my raw heart and needed to be said.

  "I know I've lost your trust. I know you don't believe a thing I say, but please consider dropping the charges so Kova can come back. Don't make me walk into a police station and do it. Kova has to finish this with me. Not as anything other than my coach, I swear. If you never believe anything I say again, just believe that. I need him by my side to get me through it. He is the only one who can help me."

  "I'm sorry, Adrianna, but this time I can't give you what you want." Dad hung up.

  I sat there in a daze. Dad hadn't shown an ounce of compassion even though I brought up his lies. I opened myself up and proved I didn't have any ulterior motives. It got me nowhere. I wished he could see it was more than just childish lust, and that Kova and I actually worked well together when it came to the sport. Kova understood my fears and turned them into positives. He saw me as a person and helped me overcome my internal battles while standing by my side. I needed him now more than ever. Two people like us didn't find each other by accident. Kova was my other half. No one in this world could ever replace even an ounce of him.

  I let my phone slide to the couch. Tears leaked down my cheeks and dripped on to my arm. I used my shirt to wipe them away only for fresh ones to bloom right after. I had a horrible feeling I was never going to see Kova again, at least not any time soon.

  A sob burst from my lips like a dam breaking free. I cried, and cried, and cried, letting it all out in the loneliness of my condo.

  I cried for what Kova was going through.

  I cried for our unborn child that was taken away from us with no choice.

  I cried for Dad and what I was putting him through.

  I wished I could reverse time for a split second so I could rectify this. So many "if only" moments went through my mind.

  If only Kova had been wearing a shirt.

  If only I hadn't answered the door.

  If only I hadn't fallen in love with my coach.

  If only…

  I yawned. I was so, so tired.

  Grabbing the closest throw pillow, I hugged it to my chest and leaned down to curl up on my side. My heart was raw for the taking and I missed Kova so much. I longed to feel his arms around me and tell me it was going to be okay. My emotions were inflicting such destruction on me that I was physically sick from them.

  I didn't know how I was going to recover from this—the miscarriage and arrest—or if I ever would. I needed the comfort of someone, anyone with empathy, but I wanted it only from Kova.

  My stomach warmed with cramps and a new wave of lightheadedness took over. I curled up tighter, holding myself as I cried alone for the loss of so much more than just my heart.

  My eyes fluttered closed as I began to doze off, sinking into a deep, dark hole. I moved my hand to my stomach and held myself where the life we’d created used to be. That was the last thing we had together, and it was gone now…just like he was.

  Fourteen

  "I feel like I haven't seen you in years," Hayden said as he sidled up to me. Practice was over and I just stepped out of the locker room.

  He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and tugged me to him, giving me a friendly little kiss on the top of my head. I leaned into him, soaking him up with half a smile. I didn't have it in me to fake it today.

  Bittersweet dreams had kept me suspended ever since the conversation with my dad. Night after night, my mind had played the worst-case scenario. I’d dreamed I’d never see Kova again. I’d dreamed he regretted meeting me and our time together. I’d dreamt I wouldn't be called to stand as a gymnast for the United States women's gymnastics team.

  There was nothing more or less I could do. Walking away wasn't an option, losing wasn't either. I'd have to compete without my rock so I could achieve my dream, even if it took every last breath from my body.

  I would succeed.

  If Kova couldn't do this with me, then I'd have to do it for him.

  "It's been a minute," I said, giving Hayden an apologetic look. "Things are just a little hectic right now, you know. I barely have time to sleep." He knew how hard I’d been working in the gym and where my focus was.

  "Tell me about it." He paused. "Do you think it's strange Kova hasn't been here?" Hayden eyed me, and I stood up a little straighter.

  "Don’t look at me. I don’t know where he is. Maybe he has something personal going on with his wife."

  "He was gone the same week you
were, and now he’s missing the Trials."

  I nodded, keeping my gaze forward. "I do think it’s odd, and I wonder why he hired a new coach. But I'm in the dark. Speaking of the new coach, how do you like training with him?"

  Danilo was a good excuse to switch topics. I knew exactly where Hayden was headed with that conversation, and I wasn't in the mood to hear or see his disappointment.

  "He's going to be a hard ass, probably more so than Kova. I'm kind of glad I'm leaving for college soon." He laughed lightly. "Nah, he's good. Seems angry all the time though."

  I laughed. "Like Kova."

  "No wonder they're friends," Hayden said. "I can't believe you're leaving for Trials tomorrow. I'm going to be watching and rooting for you, you know."

  A sad smile formed on my lips. Tomorrow I'd be on a plane headed to California for a two-day competition that ended with the Olympic team selections on the final night. The upcoming meet would be the most taxing one in several ways but also a learning experience too.

  "It's surreal, isn't it? This is what so many of us dream about, and I'm actually doing it," I said. "Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it."

  "Only the stubborn survives."

  I shrugged one shoulder. "I guess."

  "How are you feeling otherwise?" he asked, gesturing to my arm. My fingers were a tad swollen and my arm wavered between light tingles and itching numbness.

  Shaking my head, I grimaced. "Honestly, it hurts so bad that I just want to cut it off." I joked, and he laughed. "The last five days have tested me in every way possible. I'm kind of nervous about this weekend."

  "I think you're going to surprise yourself and shock the gym world. You may be older than most of the girls, but they don't have the same passion. It's clear watching you compete. Your dedication shows. I'm placing bets on you. You're sturdy out there, someone they can rely on."

  I gave him a friendly bump with my shoulder. "Thanks. How much am I worth?"

  He laughed and I found a real smile tugging on my lips.

  "Make sure you take a moment to yourself this weekend and realize how far you've come. Soak it up. Think about what you had to do to get where you are, because you may not think you deserve it, but you do. This could be your only time at the Olympic Trials. Enjoy it while you can."

  "You're going to make a great father one day, Hayden."

  Hayden let out a loud chuckle as Holly stepped out of the locker room. She was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a crimson shirt with a white A on it and the words "Roll Tide." She finally heard back from Alabama. While she hadn’t received a scholarship like she’d hoped for, Holly had been picked to be on their gymnastics team.

  Hayden was headed to Michigan State, and Reagan had been accepted to the University of Louisiana on a partial scholarship.

  "What's so funny?" Holly asked as she joined us in the hall.

  "Hayden was giving me fatherly advice. Very inspiring."

  She sighed like she was relieved his advice wasn't for her. What he said was thoughtful, and I actually planned to do exactly what he suggested. Hayden didn't know this would be my only chance at the Olympics, but he was right. I needed to take in the moment because it would all be over before I could blink.

  That was going to be my new motto: it's all going to be over soon.

  "Better you than me," Holly said, taking me away from my depressing thoughts.

  "Someone has to watch out for you," he said to his sister. She rolled her eyes.

  "I can't wait to go to college."

  "Why? It's not like I can't text or call you," he said.

  "You're so annoying. You're going to make an annoying husband one day."

  Hayden looked at me with faux shock written on his face. "See what I have to deal with?"

  "Go away, Hayden. Let me talk to Adrianna."

  "Don’t leave before I say goodbye to you," Hayden said. I nodded, and he headed into the locker room.

  Holly waited until her brother was gone before turning to me. "I wish we could've had more time together before you had to leave. When you get back, I'll be gone."

  I pursed my lips together and pouted. "Me too. Time always feels like it's moving slow but it's actually flying by. Maybe we can visit each other during the summer."

  She frowned. "Where will you be?"

  Inhaling a deep breath, I exhaled and my shoulders fell. "I haven't decided yet."

  "Have you reached out to any schools?"

  "Yeah, I actually had some inquiries, but I haven't had much time to look into them with so much going on. Maybe I can next week. Unfortunately, I'll be postponing the college experience. I need to take a year off to get my health in order."

  "How have you been doing?"

  I beamed at her. "I have a donor."

  Holly's eyes lit up and she pulled me in for a bear hug. The last time we'd spoken about my kidney issues, I hadn't found one.

  "Best news ever! I've been worried sick about you and was thinking about getting tested."

  My lips parted at her generosity. Tears tried to rise to the surface but I pushed them down and mouthed "thank you" to her.

  "Avery is a match, actually," I said after a few seconds.

  Her eyes widened. "That's kinda cool."

  "Yeah, she's excited about it while I'm terrified. So much could go wrong, you know? What if my body rejects it? Then we're both out of a kidney. I'd feel bad for the rest of my life."

  She grimaced. "I think that thought is normal for anyone in your position. So, you've been talking about it more, then?"

  I shook my head. "No, actually, I haven't. No one here knows anything except for Kova and you."

  "Speaking of…"

  I averted my gaze. Like brother, like sister. "You haven't told Hayden anything, have you?"

  She shook her head, her eyes large. "Not a thing. I swear."

  "I didn't think so, but he asked me about Kova too. I know you're leaving soon and will have a new life, but please don't ever tell anyone, okay?"

  Holly looked me directly in the eyes. Her brows furrowed in offense.

  "I'd never do that. Is everything okay, though?"

  I looked away again and swallowed. "Everything is fine," I lied. "Normal, nothing new." I glanced over my shoulders and around us to see if anyone was within listening distance. "It's good," I said, keeping my voice low. "We're both just focused on gymnastics and keeping our distance. It's better that way right now."

  Holly was studying me closely. I made sure to wipe my face clear of any hint of emotion as I spoke. I didn't want her to put things together in her head about me and Kova and our absences.

  "I'm always here if you want to talk about anything." It was all she said, and I was so thankful. "You can call me anytime. I'll always pick up your call."

  I laughed. "I'm going to hold you to that. Don't forget about me when you kill it in the collegiate world."

  Holly opened her mouth to respond, but Reagan spoke before her as she walked toward us.

  "For someone who is hopping on a plane to head to the freaking Olympic Trials, you don't look so happy."

  "Always a pleasure, Reagan," I said. "I am happy."

  Her eyes glowed with sincerity and her lips twitched from the smile she was trying to fight. She was going to remain that mean girl she loved to be until the very end. I was okay with that. Reagan wasn't being callous, she was just being her snobby self.

  "Hey, girls." Madeline rounded the corner. "How about one final picture of the elites before they leave us to move onto the next chapter of their lives?" Her voice cracked a little even though she was beaming from ear to ear like a proud parent.

  We all turned toward her as she pulled her cell phone from her pocket. Hayden rejoined the group just in time. Standing side by side with Holly, Reagan, and Hayden, we looped our arms around each other and pulled in close like we were the best of friends. Because in a sense we were. There was this softness in my heart for them that surprised me. I joined their little family late in the ga
me, and while there were some heated arguments along the way like every family has, we'd all gotten extremely close.

  Plastering on smiles, we said "cheese" and Madeline snapped a few pictures. Hayden made a joke and Holly told him to be quiet.

  Reagan leaned in closer and whispered in my ear, "Good luck, Red." She winked at me. "I mean that."

  Later that night after I'd packed my suitcase and taken my medication, Madeline texted the group of us a picture from earlier. Holly and Hayden were playfully mocking each other like typical siblings, and I was looking at Reagan with heartfelt tears in my eyes while she gave me the realest, kindest smile she could.

  If a picture was worth a thousand words, I'd say this one was roughly worth seven hundred and fifty thousand of them.

  I immediately saved it to my phone.

  I couldn't wait to see where the future would take them.

  Fifteen

  My heart was heavy as we checked in at the airport.

  It was five in the morning, and our plane was set to depart in just under two hours. Dad had told me he was traveling the entire way to the meet and back with me, and had made sure we were both on the same flight. It wasn't enough that I'd be flying with Madeline, he’d insisted he be there too.

  I was hoping I could get a little shut eye on the flight to California. Last night I hadn't slept more than two hours, give or take. I couldn’t get comfortable because of the little aches pinching under my skin. Motrin was a joke. I’d considered taking one of the stronger prescribed pills I had left over from when I had the kidney infection. I didn't, though. I disliked the drugged up feeling.

  My arm ached, and the cramps were worse at night, but I had the notion a lot of what I was feeling was because I was missing someone. The bone-deep heartache was taking a toll on me physically. It was killing me that he wasn't going to be by my side.

  Once we cleared security, Dad and Sophia wanted coffee.

  "Can we get you a cup?" Sophia asked.

  I nodded my head. "Yes, thank you."